by Mitchell Grabois<\/p>\n
\n
\nBlood<\/b><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
1.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Her mother raised her Catholic<\/p>\n
but somewhere along the way<\/p>\n
between inspecting U.S. Navy aircraft<\/p>\n
(her softness inside their hardness)<\/p>\n
and teaching Montessori students<\/p>\n
(her hardness inside their softness)<\/p>\n
Latilda joined a cult
\n
\n <\/p>\n
lived in a fallout shelter<\/p>\n
forty feet underground<\/p>\n
scrubbed black mold from the walls<\/p>\n
at the leader\u2019s command<\/p>\n
no protective gear<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
was taught to believe in archangels<\/p>\n
who share their karma<\/p>\n
with those who worship them<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
2.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When her father died<\/p>\n
age 90<\/p>\n
her mother intended to plant him<\/p>\n
in St. Anthony\u2019s graveyard<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
but Latilda\u2019s religion specified that he<\/p>\n
be cremated<\/p>\n
that the smoke should\u00a0 rise up to heaven<\/p>\n
where the archangels could fan it<\/p>\n
to the four quadrants<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Conflict<\/p>\n
between mother and daughter<\/p>\n
conflict<\/p>\n
unbroken by death<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
their lifelong pattern<\/p>\n
but now\u00a0 more at stake<\/p>\n
her husband\u2019s\/ her father\u2019s<\/p>\n
soul<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Finally the funeral director<\/p>\n
forced their hand<\/p>\n
He had an ulcer<\/p>\n
didn\u2019t have the stomach<\/p>\n
for their argumentative<\/p>\n
impasse<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
They compromised:<\/p>\n
the body would be buried<\/p>\n
but only after his blood was cremated<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The funeral director<\/p>\n
placed the blood in an urn<\/p>\n
as if it were a sacrifice to<\/p>\n
the goddess Isis<\/p>\n
or the Minotaur<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He wondered:<\/p>\n
when this blood boils<\/i><\/p>\n
will the dead man\u2019s spirit<\/i><\/p>\n
boil with anger?<\/i><\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
Would he lash out in an<\/i><\/p>\n
inarticulate<\/i><\/p>\n
occult manner<\/i><\/p>\n
that might harm me? <\/i><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The blood quickly came to a<\/p>\n
roll<\/p>\n
like a pot on a stove<\/p>\n
waiting for eggs<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
then burst into flame<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Latilda<\/p>\n
watching through the crematorium\u2019s small window<\/p>\n
saw the smoke<\/p>\n
inhaled by an archangel<\/p>\n
who had suddenly appeared<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
To her sharp and penetrating chagrin<\/p>\n
the archangel had the appearance of<\/p>\n
her high school boyfriend<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
stoned all the time<\/p>\n
always ready to inhale something<\/p>\n
cigarettes<\/p>\n
gasoline glue<\/p>\n
pot, if he could afford it<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
But then the archangel blew the smoke<\/p>\n
through the walls<\/p>\n
to the four corners of the Earth<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Latilda ran outside to see it<\/p>\n
(her father\u2019s iron poor blood<\/p>\n
transformed)<\/p>\n
swept away by<\/p>\n
the wild wind<\/p>\n
which blew in all directions<\/p>\n
at once<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She knew that<\/p>\n
now it didn\u2019t matter<\/p>\n
what happened to her father\u2019s earthly body<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Fear <\/b><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When we made love again that night<\/p>\n
in the silence of the abandoned mansion<\/p>\n
the fire within Tu\u2019s flesh<\/p>\n
made me feel as if I were a rocket shell<\/p>\n
rotating through the air<\/p>\n
as I sped toward a target<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When I came<\/p>\n
I felt as if I were breaking<\/p>\n
into a thousand pieces of shrapnel<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Dizzy<\/p>\n
eyes turning backwards<\/p>\n
my nostrils pinched<\/p>\n
bad leg throbbed<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I\u2019d known her for so many years<\/p>\n
Why had we never made love before?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She had replaced my two-headed mother<\/p>\n
and all the engrams carrying false messages<\/p>\n
about who I was<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The fear that had penetrated my<\/p>\n
body and mind<\/p>\n
ruled the air like the birds<\/p>\n
ruled the trodden pathway<\/p>\n
like the snake<\/p>\n
ruled the trees<\/p>\n
like iguana<\/p>\n
ruled the forest<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
was gone<\/p>\n
I was free to start fresh<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
D<\/b><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
1.<\/p>\n
Even as the Zoloft inhibits<\/p>\n
serotonin\u2019s reuptake<\/p>\n
Depression plots sabotage<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
D makes the irrational seem rational<\/p>\n
the destructive constructive<\/p>\n
D runs its schemes<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
D makes me believe that everything I\u2019ve gained<\/p>\n
I should throw away<\/p>\n
that all security<\/p>\n
should be shattered<\/p>\n
insecurity the natural order<\/p>\n
relationships should be torn apart<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
and I should return to the<\/p>\n
Merchant Marine<\/p>\n
and freight the lonely seas<\/p>\n
with the burdens of my past<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
2.<\/p>\n
Standing on the bow deck<\/p>\n
I see skeletons riding on the backs<\/p>\n
of porpoises<\/p>\n
It is Dia de las Muertos<\/p>\n
on the high seas<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The sharks know my name<\/p>\n
the whales speak in<\/p>\n
obscure foreign languages<\/p>\n
they\u2019ve learned<\/p>\n
for the sole purpose<\/p>\n
of keeping me in the dark<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The octopuses practice talking<\/p>\n
Navajo Code<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The wind in my ears<\/p>\n
hearing aids whistle and moan<\/p>\n
The captain laughs<\/p>\n
at my disabilities<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
the navigator too<\/p>\n
with his bad teeth<\/p>\n
sharp like a barracuda\u2019s<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Barracuda rarely attack humans<\/p>\n
but the navigator has me on his bucket list<\/p>\n
for extinction<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Ice<\/b><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Over are the days of the ice bridges<\/p>\n
that winter passage<\/p>\n
between the mainland<\/p>\n
and this island<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It was only<\/p>\n
a three-season isle<\/p>\n
but now is<\/p>\n
isolated<\/p>\n
in every season<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
no respite<\/p>\n
from isolation<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
New wolves cannot cross<\/p>\n
to perform genetic rescue<\/p>\n
so the remaining wolves<\/p>\n
fuck their parents<\/p>\n
fuck their children<\/p>\n
The packs genetically warp<\/p>\n
Climate change has doomed them<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
With few wolves<\/p>\n
the moose population explodes<\/p>\n
but the excessive heat stresses them<\/p>\n
maddens them<\/p>\n
until their parenting skills are as weakened<\/p>\n
as humans\u2019<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Moose are running amuck<\/p>\n
as in a low-budget zombie flick<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The environmentalists give up<\/p>\n
leave the masses to their<\/p>\n
manipulated ignorance<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
join monasteries, convents<\/p>\n
Zen retreat houses<\/p>\n
or simply find a cave<\/p>\n
on a mountainside<\/p>\n
in which to live and die<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There, at least, they will share the purity<\/p>\n
of God<\/p>\n
or the Buddha<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Mitchell Grabois Blood 1. Her mother raised her Catholic but somewhere along the way between inspecting U.S. Navy aircraft (her softness inside their hardness) and teaching Montessori students (her hardness inside their softness) Latilda joined a cult<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1005,77],"tags":[1165,1123,1010],"class_list":["post-10085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-39-40","category-english","tag-egophobia-39-40","tag-english","tag-mitchell-grabois"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-2CF","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10085"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10085\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10087,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10085\/revisions\/10087"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}