[pamflet]<\/p>\n
\u00een viziunea lui iQ666<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nSatanochio a fost o trup\u0103 de metal negru avangardist care a r\u0103s\u0103rit pe coclaurile noastre f\u0103r\u0103 s-o fi sem\u0103nat nimeni \u0219i a avut parte de succes pe plan interna\u021bional \u00eenainte de a disp\u0103rea brusc, f\u0103r\u0103 urm\u0103. Unii ziceau c\u0103 nici m\u0103car n-a fost vorba de o trup\u0103 adev\u0103rat\u0103 ci o crea\u021bie de marketing a managerului ei, probabil prima trup\u0103 de black metal creat\u0103 pe modelul sexpistolian al forma\u021biilor alc\u0103tuite pe baza voturilor telespectatorilor care decid ce componen\u021b\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i doresc s\u0103 aib\u0103 cei pe care \u00eei vor asculta timp de 1-2 albume \u0219i uita fulger\u0103tor dup\u0103, l\u0103s\u00e2ndu-i s\u0103 se sting\u0103 la fel de rapid cum au ap\u0103rut. Al\u021bii credeau c\u0103 e vorba de o glum\u0103, \u00eens\u0103 cine s\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103zneasc\u0103 s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nNimeni nu \u0219tia cine f\u0103cea parte din Satanochio, unii afirm\u00e2nd chiar c\u0103 nici m\u0103car componen\u021bii trupei nu aveau habar c-ar fi \u00een ea, pentru c\u0103 managerul ar creat piesele \u00eenregistr\u00e2nd ilegal tot felul de sunete pe la repeti\u021biile unor trupe de metal spurcat, aziluri de nebuni, maternit\u0103\u021bi, \u0219edin\u021be, abatoare \u0219i fier\u0103rii. Desigur c\u0103 povestea este exagerat\u0103, dar totu\u0219i, cum s\u0103 fi ap\u0103rut f\u0103r\u0103 un s\u00e2mbure de adev\u0103r?
\n <\/p>\n
\nDe la c\u00e2teva luni dup\u0103 apari\u021bia ultimei piese semnate de Satanochio nimeni nu mai vorbe\u0219te despre trupa asta. Nu se \u0219tie dac\u0103 e vorba de vreun leg\u0103m\u00e2nt fightclubic sau de vreun blestem tutankhamonian, la care ar duce cu g\u00e2ndul bandajele \u00een care erau \u00eenf\u0103\u0219ura\u021bi trupe\u021bii \u00een fotografiile oficiale. Mul\u021bi ne amintim \u00eens\u0103 cu nostalgie de ritmurile inumane \u0219i urletele postanimalice de pe discurile trupei. \u00cen special cei care le foloseam ca tonuri de apel la telefoane.
\n <\/p>\n
\nNu voi rezolva aici nici una dintre marile enigme care \u00eempung valul de legend\u0103 ce \u00eenconjoar\u0103 activitatea ansamblului vocal-instrumental Satanochio, nu am cum, pentru c\u0103 nici eu nu \u0219tiu mai nimic despre ei. V\u0103 voi dezv\u0103lui in schimb cum cred c-a ap\u0103rut \u00een schem\u0103 IV, basistul, dup\u0103 aderarea c\u0103ruia trupa a mai \u00eenregistrat doar c\u00e2teva c\u00e2ntece \u0219i a \u00eenceput s\u0103 tac\u0103. Un anun\u021b oficial asupra destr\u0103m\u0103rii trupei n-a fost f\u0103cut public, a\u0219a c\u0103 mai putem spera c\u0103 \u00eentr-o noapte apocaliptic\u0103 vom auzi din nou de Satanochio.
\n <\/p>\n
\nViitorul IV trecea pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 un abator ilegal dezafectat \u0219i a auzit din interior ni\u0219te sunete total \u0219i absolut satanice. Curios, omul s-a strecurat \u00een\u0103untru \u0219i a dat de trei fl\u0103c\u0103i masca\u021bi care-\u0219i masacrau instrumentele. Unul dintre chitari\u0219ti mai \u0219i urla din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, mai mult dec\u00e2t dement.<\/p>\n
-Salut, b\u0103ie\u021bi!<\/p>\n
-‘te dracului!<\/p>\n
-\u00cen numele lui Lucifer, desigur.<\/p>\n
-\u00cen veci amin!<\/p>\n
-N-aveai chef s\u0103 mori acas\u0103 \u0219i \u021bi-ai g\u0103sit s\u0103 ne deranjezi?<\/p>\n
-Deci nu primi\u021bi cu colindul.<\/p>\n
-Lerul nu-i ler!<\/p>\n
-Dispari, c\u0103 pun c\u00e2inii pe tine!<\/p>\n
-Heihaiheihei c\u00e2ini!<\/p>\n
-Treceam prin apropiere medit\u00e2nd la iner\u021bia artistic\u0103 contemporan\u0103 \u0219i v-am auzit c\u00e2nt\u00e2nd. Sunte\u021bi bestiali!<\/p>\n
Cei trei nu-l mai b\u0103gau \u00een seam\u0103, relu\u00e2ndu-\u0219i deja repeti\u021bia dement\u0103. Un urlet cavernos le-a acoperit \u00eens\u0103 eforturile sonore.<\/p>\n
-Singura mea observa\u021bie e c-a\u021bi avea nevoie \u0219i de bas \u00een muzica voastr\u0103.<\/p>\n
Cei trei s-au oprit brusc.<\/p>\n
-Nu vreau s\u0103 v\u0103-ntreb nimic, nici s\u0103 v\u0103 critic, dar cred c-ave\u021bi potential \u0219i dac\u0103 a\u021bi avea \u0219i un b\u0103sar a\u021bi suna cred la fel de bine ca Satanochio.<\/p>\n
Celor trei mai c\u0103 le-au picat m\u0103\u0219tile de uimire.<\/p>\n
-Poate-i \u0219ti\u021bi, \u00ees cea mai tare trup\u0103 de la noi, rup tot, tot, tot. P\u0103cat \u00eens\u0103 c\u0103 nu dau \u0219i concerte.<\/p>\n
-Ce \u0219tii tu de Satanochio? l-a \u00eentrerupt vocalistul cu vocea sa civil\u0103.<\/p>\n
-Nimic. Se spune c\u0103 nu exist\u0103, iar c\u00e2ntecele lor \u00eei apar managerului pe laptop \u00een nop\u021bile cu lun\u0103 nou\u0103 dupa ce jertfe\u0219te c\u00e2te un coco\u0219 negru adus din Dr\u0103culea Bandului.<\/p>\n
-Interesant.<\/p>\n
-Dac\u0103 a\u021bi avea \u0219i un basist a\u021bi suna ca ei, v\u0103 da\u021bi seama ce buni sunte\u021bi?<\/p>\n
-\u0218tim.<\/p>\n
-Dar de unde s\u0103 lu\u0103m noi basistul \u0103sta?<\/p>\n
-Asta nu \u0219tiu. N-ave\u021bi prieteni muzicieni? Pune\u021bi \u0219i voi un anun\u021b pe forum la metalhead, v\u0103 descurca\u021bi cumva.<\/p>\n
-\u0218i cu tine ce facem?<\/p>\n
-Nu vreau nimic pentru idee, fi\u021bi serio\u0219i. M-a\u0219 bucura s\u0103 v\u0103 pot ajuta. V-am zis c-ave\u021bi poten\u021bial \u0219i a\u021bi putea deveni noul Satanochio.<\/p>\n
-Vrei s\u0103 devenim clone?<\/p>\n
-Las\u0103 asta. \u0102sta nu pricepe.<\/p>\n
-Ce nu pricep?<\/p>\n
-Nimeni nu poate \u0219ti de noi.<\/p>\n
-Nimeni.<\/p>\n
-Nimenea!<\/p>\n
-A\u0219a, \u0219i? Ce-ave\u021bi de g\u00e2nd cu mine?<\/p>\n
-Ne pare r\u0103u, pari de treab\u0103 \u0219i-\u021bi place muzica bun\u0103, dar n-avem \u00eencotro.<\/p>\n
-Sta\u021bi! A\u0219 putea io deveni noul vostru basist!<\/p>\n
-Ce?<\/p>\n
-F\u0103c\u00e2nd parte dintre voi nu tr\u0103dez nimic \u0219i nimeni \u00een afara trupei nu va afla de ea. M\u0103 \u0219i maschez dac\u0103 trebuie. \u00cemi fac \u0219i opera\u021bie estetic\u0103, dac\u0103 vre\u021bi s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai recunoa\u0219te\u021bi.<\/p>\n
-C\u00e2n\u021bi la bas?<\/p>\n
-Nu.<\/p>\n
-Ai pus m\u00e2na vreodat\u0103 pe unul?<\/p>\n
-Nu.<\/p>\n
-\u0218i cum vrei s\u0103 te test\u0103m, s\u0103 vedem dac\u0103 suntem compatibili?<\/p>\n
-N-ave\u021bi pe undeva un bas mai vechi?<\/p>\n
-Avem unu-n beci.<\/p>\n
Iar restul e istorie.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
[pamflet] \u00een viziunea lui iQ666 Satanochio a fost o trup\u0103 de metal negru avangardist care a r\u0103s\u0103rit pe coclaurile noastre f\u0103r\u0103 s-o fi sem\u0103nat nimeni \u0219i a avut parte de succes pe plan interna\u021bional \u00eenainte de a disp\u0103rea brusc, f\u0103r\u0103 urm\u0103. Unii ziceau c\u0103 nici m\u0103car n-a fost vorba de o trup\u0103 adev\u0103rat\u0103 ci […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1044,83],"tags":[1166,1124,113,443],"class_list":["post-10376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-41","category-experiment","tag-egophobia-41","tag-experiment","tag-iq666","tag-satanochio"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-2Hm","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10376"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10588,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10376\/revisions\/10588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}