{"id":10892,"date":"2015-10-31T00:36:32","date_gmt":"2015-10-30T22:36:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=10892"},"modified":"2015-10-31T00:38:47","modified_gmt":"2015-10-30T22:38:47","slug":"supradoza-de-nori","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=10892","title":{"rendered":"Supradoz\u0103 de nori"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0de Cosmina Od\u0103geru
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sunt pe balconul Sandrei \u0219i ne uit\u0103m am\u00e2ndoi la nori. Mi-a zis mai demult c\u0103 i se pare c\u0103 nu facem destule lucruri \u00eempreun\u0103, dar ea crede c\u0103 s\u0103 stai pe \u0219ezlongul ei rupt \u00eentr-o parte \u0219i s\u0103 urm\u0103re\u0219ti cerul p\u00e2n\u0103 ce \u00ee\u021bi \u00een\u021bepene\u0219te g\u00e2tul e cea mai mi\u0219to chestie din lume. Eu cred c\u0103 ea e cea mai mi\u0219to chestie din lume, a\u0219a c\u0103 nu \u00eei ia mult s\u0103 m\u0103 conving\u0103 de ceva.<\/p>\n

\u00cen diminea\u021ba asta a ie\u0219it soarele dup\u0103 mai bine de dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni. E destul de cald \u0219i \u00eemi vine greu s\u0103 m\u0103 obi\u0219nuiesc. \u00cen timp ce \u00eemi aprind o \u021bigar\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103 \u00eemi amintesc un alt aprilie la fel de capricios. M\u0103 doare capul. Sandra \u00ee\u0219i bea cafeaua \u0219i \u00eemi dau seama dup\u0103 expresia ei c\u0103 e momentul acela al zilei \u00een care \u00eei place s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i planifice sarcinile \u00een cel mai mic detaliu. Cred c\u0103 de asta ne potrivim noi at\u00e2t de bine, de multe ori e \u00een stare s\u0103 m\u0103 planifice \u0219i pe mine. Iubita mea \u00ee\u0219i pune capul pe um\u0103rul meu \u0219i eu \u00eenchid ochii, dorindu-mi s\u0103 pot s\u0103 fotografiez momentul \u00een minte, s\u0103 pot s\u0103-l privesc fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd simt c\u0103 nu mai am aer.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTe-ai \u00eentrebat vreodat\u0103 la ce se g\u00e2ndesc oamenii \u00eenainte s\u0103 moar\u0103?\u201d Habar n-am, \u00eei r\u0103spund, poate vor s\u0103 \u0219tie unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103.\u201d Nu cred, zice ea, cred c\u0103 oamenii \u0219tiu deja unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103. Cred c\u0103 de la un moment dat din via\u021b\u0103, cu to\u021bii \u0219tim.\u201d \u0218i tu unde o s\u0103 ajungi? \u201cCu tine, cel mai probabil.\u201d \u00cei z\u00e2mbesc \u0219i o s\u0103rut. Nu m\u0103 pot ab\u021bine s\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentreb dac\u0103 asta \u00eensemn\u0103 c\u0103 vom ajunge am\u00e2ndoi \u00een iad. De ce \u00ee\u021bi ba\u021bi capul cu lucruri cu lucruri din astea, oricum? \u201cNu \u00eemi bat capul, eram doar curioas\u0103. La ce crezi c\u0103 s-a g\u00e2ndit mama?\u201d \u00cemi doream s\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentrebe asta. Cred c\u0103 se g\u00e2ndea la c\u00e2t mult m\u0103 ur\u0103\u0219te, \u00eei spun \u0219i ea \u00eemi z\u00e2mbe\u0219te.<\/p>\n

Mama Sandrei nu p\u0103rea s\u0103 m\u0103 fi pl\u0103cut niciodat\u0103, de\u0219i cred c\u0103 \u00een sufletul ei era \u0219i un col\u021bisor negru, de c\u00e2\u021biva milimetri p\u0103tra\u021bi, numit locul lui Paul, pentru c\u0103 de fiecare Cr\u0103ciun aveam un cadou sub bradul ei de care se pref\u0103cea c\u0103 nu are nici o idee. A plecat dintre noi prin noiembrie \u0219i Cr\u0103ciunul din acel an a fost primul care nu s-a sim\u021bit deloc a fi un Cr\u0103ciun. Nu te \u00eentrista, pui, \u00eei zic \u00een timp ce o s\u0103rut pe frunte. Poate ai f\u0103cut o supradoz\u0103 de nori.\u201d Supradoz\u0103 de nori\u201d, \u0219opte\u0219te ea, apoi \u00eencepe s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sunt copil, m\u0103 \u00eentorc de la \u0219coal\u0103 \u0219i ghiozdanul \u00eemi at\u00e2rn\u0103 greu, e o c\u0103ldur\u0103 \u00een\u0103bu\u0219itoare \u0219i din urma mea se aud r\u00e2sete \u0219i g\u0103l\u0103gie. Visez. Sper c\u0103 visez. Picioarele m\u0103 dor \u0219i simt plasturii de pe genunchi cum se dezlipesc. \u00cenjur \u00een g\u00e2nd. Drumul devine tot mai lung. Vreau doar s\u0103 m\u0103 opresc \u00een mijlocul drumului, s\u0103 se termine, vreau acas\u0103. M\u0103 \u00eentreb unde e mama, uite-o c\u0103 apare. Arat\u0103 ca \u0219i Sandra \u0219i m\u0103 \u00eentreb dac\u0103 asta e normal. Cineva a intrat iar \u00een capul meu \u0219i se joac\u0103 cu mintea mea, iar totul \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u00eenghe\u021be. Vreau s\u0103 ias\u0103 afar\u0103, s\u0103 \u00eel scot \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eel arunc \u00eentr-un perete. Aud ma\u0219ini cum trec \u0219i m\u0103 izbesc de asfaltul fierbinte.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 M-au trezit primele raze de soare care trec printre draperii. Sandra nu e l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine \u0219i \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 \u00eei simt parfumul. M\u0103 \u00eentreb c\u00e2t de mult am b\u0103ut azi-noapte \u0219i tot ce \u00eemi doresc e s\u0103 fac durerea s\u0103 dispar\u0103. M\u0103 ridic cu greu din pat m\u0103 sprijin de noptier\u0103. \u00cemi aminteam camera asta mult mai mare, \u00eemi spun \u00een g\u00e2nd. \u00cemi scot ultima \u021bigar\u0103 din pachet. Sandra e pe balcon, cu picioarele sprijinite de marginea lui; \u00eemi z\u00e2mbe\u0219te.\u201d Ai observat vreodat\u0103 c\u00e2t de repede se mi\u0219c\u0103 norii?\u201d M\u0103 ab\u021bin s\u0103 nu r\u00e2d, \u0219tiu c\u0103 se sup\u0103r\u0103. Poart\u0103 tricoul meu alb.\u201d Vezi c\u0103 am f\u0103cut cafea\u201d, \u00eemi spune ea f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-\u0219i ia privirea de la cer. De ce stai pe \u0219ezlongul acela, o \u00eentreb, \u021bi-am spus s\u0103 \u00eemi aminte\u0219ti s\u0103 \u00eel repar. M\u0103 ignor\u0103 \u00een timp ce \u00ee\u0219i aprinde \u0219i ea o \u021bigar\u0103 \u0219i eu \u00eemi amintesc c\u00e2t de mult o iubesc. Dup\u0103 ce m\u0103 uit la ea c\u00e2teva minute \u0219i beau din cafeaua care deja s-a r\u0103cit, \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 e surprinz\u0103tor de cald. Capul \u00eenc\u0103 \u00eemi zv\u00e2cne\u0219te de durere, dar pare o diminea\u021b\u0103 prea frumoas\u0103 ca s\u0103 las asta s\u0103 m\u0103 deranjeze. Sandra \u00ee\u0219i pune capul pe um\u0103rul meu \u0219i \u00eei s\u0103rut fruntea, mul\u021bumindu-i iar unui Dumnezeu \u00een care nu sunt prea sigur c\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eencred pentru c\u0103 pot s\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc \u00een fiecare zi l\u00e2ng\u0103 ea.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201dTe-ai \u00eentrebat vreodat\u0103 la ce se g\u00e2ndesc oamenii \u00eenainte s\u0103 moar\u0103?\u201d Habar n-am, \u00eei r\u0103spund, poate vor s\u0103 \u0219tie unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103.\u201d Nu cred, zice ea, cred c\u0103 oamenii \u0219tiu deja unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103. Cred c\u0103 de la un moment dat din via\u021b\u0103, cu to\u021bii \u0219tim.\u201d \u0218i tu unde o s\u0103 ajungi? \u201cCu tine, cel mai probabil.\u201d \u00cei z\u00e2mbesc \u0219i o s\u0103rut. Nu m\u0103 pot ab\u021bine s\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentreb dac\u0103 asta \u00eensemn\u0103 c\u0103 vom ajunge am\u00e2ndoi \u00een iad. De ce \u00ee\u021bi ba\u021bi capul cu lucruri cu lucruri din astea, oricum? \u201cNu \u00eemi bat capul, eram doar curioas\u0103. La ce crezi c\u0103 s-a g\u00e2ndit mama?\u201d \u00cemi doream s\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentrebe asta. Cred c\u0103 se g\u00e2ndea la c\u00e2t mult m\u0103 uraste, \u00eei spun, dar Sandra z\u00e2mbe\u0219te mai mult pentru ea. Nu te \u00eentrista, pui, \u00eei zic \u00een timp ce o s\u0103rut pe frunte. Poate ai f\u0103cut o supradoz\u0103 de nori.\u201d Supradoza de nori\u201d, \u0219opte\u0219te ea, oarecum indiferent\u0103 la cuvintele mele.<\/p>\n

Mi-am f\u0103cut planuri mari pentru ziua de azi, mari cel pu\u021bin pentru mine. Mi-am promis de ceva vreme c\u0103 am s\u0103 termin un tablou \u0219i dac\u0103 \u00eemi r\u0103m\u00e2ne destul timp, vreau s\u0103 fac \u0219i pu\u021bin\u0103 ordine \u00een atelier.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 O bun\u0103 bucat\u0103 de vreme am \u00eencercat s\u0103 lupt \u00eempotriva oamenilor care spun c\u0103 pictura nu poate s\u0103-\u021bi pl\u0103teasc\u0103 facturile. M-am dat b\u0103tut de c\u00e2\u021biva ani, de c\u00e2nd am plecat din casa alor mei \u00eentr-o mansard\u0103 din periferia Bucure\u0219tiului. M-am dat b\u0103tut pentru c\u0103 am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 au dreptate. Am momente \u00een care \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 pot face altceva, s\u0103 pot s\u0103 scap de aici, s\u0103 cump\u0103r un loc frumos pentru mine \u0219i pentru Sandra \u0219i s\u0103 pictez doar c\u00e2nd nu am altceva mai bun de f\u0103cut. Adev\u0103rul e c\u0103 c\u0103 eu nu o s\u0103 am niciodat\u0103 altceva mai bun de f\u0103cut.<\/p>\n

Am \u00eenchiriat atelierul \u0103sta acum vreo trei cu \u00eenc\u0103 un prieten. Aici ne petrecem majoritatea dup\u0103-amiezelor \u0219i c\u00e2nd vorbesc la plural, pot s\u0103 spun c\u0103 mai degrab\u0103 refuz s\u0103 cred c\u0103 sunt singurul care \u00ee\u0219i mai pune speran\u021bele \u00een locul \u0103sta. Dan face cur\u0103\u021benie \u00eentr-o cl\u0103dire de birouri din centru, \u00eenc\u0103 st\u0103 cu maic\u0103-sa \u0219i i-a luat doi ani jumate s\u0103 termine un tablou.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Am \u0219aptesprezece ani \u0219i alerg pe str\u0103zi, nu m\u0103 cheam\u0103 nimeni acas\u0103, nimeni nu m\u0103 vrea, sunt liber printre toate visele din lume \u0219i singur cu g\u00e2ndurile mele. \u0218i doare. Alerg. E noapte \u0219i mi-e fric\u0103, dar alerg, pentru c\u0103 nu sunt sigur unde m\u0103 aflu. Alarmele magazinului au pornit imediat ce am ie\u0219it din el, \u00eenc\u0103 nu pot s\u0103-mi dau seama dac\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u0219te cineva. Mi-e prea fric\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 uit \u00een urm\u0103 \u0219i alerg. Monedele zboar\u0103 \u00een urma mea din buzunarele descusute. Simt cum m\u0103 golesc \u0219i eu odat\u0103 cu ele, dar vreau doar s\u0103 scap. \u00cencep s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentreb dac\u0103 merit\u0103, m\u0103 \u00eentreb care e sensul, unde se duce via\u021ba mea, de ce am impresia c\u0103 eu \u0219i destinul o vom lua pe c\u0103i diferite. Sunt \u00eenconjurat \u0219i m\u0103 pun la p\u0103m\u00e2nt, oasele m\u0103 dor \u0219i \u00eemi vine s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng, dar mi-e ru\u0219ine. Mi-e ru\u0219ine \u0219i mi-e fric\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 E aniversarea p\u0103rin\u021bilor Sandrei \u0219i am stabilit s\u0103 mergem la ei la mas\u0103 \u00een jur de ora \u0219apte. Avem destul timp, \u00eemi zic, \u0219i pe drum m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam ce cadou am putea s\u0103 le lu\u0103m. Cadourile sunt de obicei responsabilitatea iubitei mele, dar nu \u00eemi r\u0103spunde la telefon \u0219i \u00eencerc s\u0103-mi dau seam\u0103 dac\u0103 iar s-a sup\u0103rat pentru ceva. M\u0103 hot\u0103r\u0103sc c\u0103 nu are rost s\u0103 \u00eemi fac griji, poate e pur \u0219i simplu prea ocupat\u0103, poate \u0219i-a uitat telefonul acas\u0103, poate nu \u00eel aude. \u00cemi trece prin minte c\u0103 poate a cump\u0103rat ea deja un cadou. Ideea \u00eemi sur\u00e2de \u0219i o aprob \u00een g\u00e2ndul meu, amintindu-mi \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103 c\u00e2t de norocos sunt s\u0103 o am. M\u0103 opresc s\u0103 \u00eemi iau \u021big\u0103ri \u0219i m\u0103 surprinde c\u00e2t de repede mi se termin\u0103 pachetele.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Nu reu\u0219esc s\u0103 pictez nimic, sunt \u00eendopat cu pastile \u0219i durerea \u00eenc\u0103 nu d\u0103 semne c\u0103 ar vrea s\u0103 dispar\u0103. C\u00e2ndva dup\u0103 ora cinci reu\u0219esc s\u0103 adorm \u0219i o visez pe Sandra, visez pumnii ei mici care \u00eemi lovesc pieptul, \u00eencerc s\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc \u0219i nu pot, \u00eei aud strig\u0103tele \u0219i \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 pl\u00e2nge. \u00cemi doresc s\u0103 o pot lini\u0219ti, dar ochii \u00eemi r\u0103m\u00e2n \u00eenchi\u0219i \u0219i camera se \u00eenv\u00e2rte cu mine. \u00cemi dau seama c\u0103 sunt pe podea, \u00eentind m\u00e2n\u0103 ca s\u0103 prind de ceva, sau cel pu\u021bin a\u0219a mi se pare. \u00cencep s\u0103 cad \u00een gol \u0219i ea nu poate s\u0103 m\u0103 urmeze o aud din ce \u00een ce mai greu \u0219i m\u0103 aflu dintr-o dat\u0103 \u00een cea mai cumplit\u0103 lini\u0219te pe care am auzit-o vreodat\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Dan m\u0103 g\u0103se\u0219te \u00eentins pe canapeaua noastr\u0103 veche, cu materialul rupt pe o bucat\u0103 mare din sp\u0103tar, transpirat \u0219i tremur\u00e2nd. Am g\u00e2tul uscat \u0219i camera continu\u0103 s\u0103 se \u00eenv\u00e2rt\u0103 cu mine \u0219i dup\u0103 ce pe m\u0103 ridic, oprindu-se abia dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva clipe \u00een care privesc \u00een gol. M\u0103 \u00eentreb de c\u00e2nd nu am mai m\u00e2ncat. Prietenul \u0219i colegul meu amator a venit p\u00e2n\u0103 la atelier s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i ia dou\u0103 tablouri pe care vrea s\u0103 le arate unui tip din Bucure\u0219ti \u00een speran\u021ba c\u0103 le-ar putea vinde. C\u00e2t e ceasul, \u00eel \u00eentreb.\u201d Opt jumate\u201d, \u00eemi r\u0103spunde. Ai v\u0103zut-o pe Sandra? Trebuia s\u0103 mergem la p\u0103rin\u021bii ei. Mi se pare c\u0103 Dan m\u0103 privea oarecum straniu, dar \u0219tiu c\u0103 am adesea accese de paranoia.\u201d Sandra e pe balcon, abia a f\u0103cut cafeaua\u201d, continu\u0103 el, de parc\u0103 mi-ar fi citit g\u00e2ndurile. Oriunde merg, dau de un balcon.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sandra st\u0103 pe \u0219ezlongul pe care i-am promis deja de c\u00e2teva ori c\u0103 aveam s\u0103 \u00eel repar. E cu spatele c\u0103tre mine \u0219i prive\u0219te cerul. \u00cencerc s\u0103 \u00eemi g\u0103sesc cuvintele, dar durerea de cap m\u0103 love\u0219te din nou \u00een timp ce m\u0103 uit la ea, at\u00e2t de frumoas\u0103 \u0219i at\u00e2t de fragil\u0103. \u00cemi pare r\u0103u, \u00eei spun, dar ea nu se \u00eentoarce spre mine. A\u0219 vrea s\u0103 \u00eei spun despre visul pe care l-am avut, ea \u0219tie mereu ce \u00eemi spun\u0103, dar nu vreau s\u0103 o sperii. Nu pare sup\u0103rat\u0103 pe mine, \u00eencerc s\u0103 \u00eemi amintesc dac\u0103 am anulat \u00eent\u00e2lnirea cu p\u0103rin\u021bii ei, dar \u00eemi simt capul tot mai greu \u0219i toate g\u00e2ndurile se adun\u0103 gr\u0103mad\u0103 \u0219i apoi cad una peste alta. Sandra continu\u0103 s\u0103 zac\u0103 pierdut\u0103 la mii de kilometri de mine, pe un \u0219ezlong pe care puteam s\u0103 \u00eel ating dac\u0103 \u00eemi ridic\u0103m m\u00e2na.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201dTe-ai \u00eentrebat vreodat\u0103 la ce se g\u00e2ndesc oamenii \u00eenainte s\u0103 moar\u0103?\u201d Habar n-am, \u00eei r\u0103spund, poate vor s\u0103 \u0219tie unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103.\u201d Nu cred, zice ea, cred c\u0103 oamenii \u0219tiu deja unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103. Cred c\u0103 de la un moment dat din via\u021b\u0103, cu to\u021bii \u0219tim.\u201d \u0218i tu unde o s\u0103 ajungi? \u201cCu tine, cel mai probabil.\u201d M\u0103 a\u0219ez l\u00e2ng\u0103 ea \u0219i \u00eei z\u00e2mbesc. Vom ajunge am\u00e2ndoi \u00een iad sau va fi ea sc\u0103parea mea? De ce \u00ee\u021bi ba\u021bi capul cu lucruri cu lucruri din astea, oricum? \u201cNu \u00eemi bat capul, eram doar curioas\u0103. La ce crezi c\u0103 s-a g\u00e2ndit mama?\u201d \u00cemi doream s\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentrebe asta, \u00eemi simt deja capul \u0219i mai greu. Cred c\u0103 se g\u00e2ndea la c\u00e2t mult m\u0103 uraste. Nu te \u00eentrista, pui, \u00eei zic \u00een timp ce o s\u0103rut pe frunte; poate ai f\u0103cut o supradoz\u0103 de nori. Dar Sandra nu m\u0103 aude.<\/p>\n

Nu \u0219tiu ce a\u0219 mai putea s\u0103 \u00eei spun, \u00eei m\u00e2ng\u00e2i p\u0103rul \u0219i m\u0103 \u00eentorc \u00een atelier, l\u0103s\u00e2nd-o singur\u0103 cu g\u00e2ndurile ei. E un lucru pentru care am s\u0103 m\u0103 simt vinovat mai t\u00e2rziu, tot ce \u00eemi doresc e s\u0103 stau jos \u0219i s\u0103 a\u0219tept o minune s\u0103 vin\u0103 din cer \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 ridice. Dan st\u0103 pe covor, sort\u00e2nd c\u00e2teva culori.\u201d \u00cemi pare rau\u201d, \u00eemi zice, dar nu pot dec\u00e2t s\u0103 ridic din umeri, nici m\u0103car nu \u0219tiu despre ce vorbe\u0219te. M\u0103 pierd iar.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00cemi cump\u0103r \u021big\u0103ri de la chio\u0219cul de l\u00e2ng\u0103 col\u021b. \u00cen timp ce a\u0219tept restul, m\u0103 uit la copiii care se joac\u0103 fotbal pe cealalt\u0103 parte a drumului. Nu simt nimic c\u00e2t timp \u00eei privesc \u0219i asta m\u0103 lini\u0219te\u0219te. \u00cemi doresc s\u0103 nu simt nimic, dar mi-e foame. Iar nu am bani \u0219i capul \u00eenc\u0103 m\u0103 doare. Trebuie s\u0103 merg s\u0103 \u00eemi iau c\u00e2teva pastile. \u00cemi amintesc s\u0103 fi cump\u0103rat un flacon \u0219i zilele trecute, dar toate lucrurile par s\u0103 cad\u0103 \u00eentr-o gaur\u0103 neagr\u0103 a timpului \u00eenainte s\u0103 ajung\u0103 la mine, \u00eentind m\u00e2na s\u0103 le prind \u0219i ea cade lipsit\u0103 de via\u021b\u0103. Pl\u0103m\u00e2nii mi se golesc de aer \u0219i m\u0103 a\u0219ez pe banc\u0103, am nevoie de un nor.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201dTe-ai \u00eentrebat vreodat\u0103 la ce se g\u00e2ndesc oamenii \u00eenainte s\u0103 moar\u0103?\u201d Habar n-am, poate vor s\u0103 \u0219tie unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103.\u201d Nu cred, cred c\u0103 oamenii \u0219tiu deja unde o s\u0103 ajung\u0103. Cred c\u0103 de la un moment dat din via\u021b\u0103, cu to\u021bii \u0219tim.\u201d Tu unde o s\u0103 ajungi? Nu \u0219tiu, Sandra, vreau doar s\u0103 taci.\u201d La ce crezi c\u0103 s-a g\u00e2ndit mama \u00eenainte s\u0103 moar\u0103? Se g\u00e2ndea la tine, Paul, la c\u00e2t de mult te ur\u0103\u0219te.\u201d Taci.\u201d Nu te \u00eentrista, pui.\u201d Taci.\u201d La ce se g\u00e2ndesc oamenii oamenii \u00eenainte s\u0103 moar\u0103? Tu la ce te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti, Paul?\u201dTaci.\u201d Ai f\u0103cut supradoz\u0103 de nori, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n

Te rog, taci.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Dan m\u0103 g\u0103se\u0219te pe banc\u0103, \u00eenghe\u021bat de frig. Delirez. \u00cel \u00eentreb de Sandra, el cl\u0103tina din cap \u0219i m\u0103 ia \u00een bra\u021be. \u00cemi dau seam\u0103 c\u0103 e \u00eenc\u0103 un moment \u00een care ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eemi fie fric\u0103, dar nu pot s\u0103 o simt. \u00cemi spune c\u0103 Sandra a plecat de c\u00e2teva luni, \u00eel \u00eentreb dac\u0103 de vin\u0103 au fost drogurile, el \u00eemi spune c\u0103 da, dar nu m\u0103 prive\u0219te. \u00cencep s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng, a\u0219a cred, \u0219i privesc \u00een gol.<\/p>\n

Tu la ce te g\u00e2ndeai c\u00e2nd ai plecat, draga mea? La ce te g\u00e2ndeai c\u00e2nd l\u0103sai \u00een urm\u0103 un om sf\u00e2r\u0219it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0de Cosmina Od\u0103geru \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sunt pe balconul Sandrei \u0219i ne uit\u0103m am\u00e2ndoi la nori. Mi-a zis mai demult c\u0103 i se pare c\u0103 nu facem destule lucruri \u00eempreun\u0103, dar ea crede c\u0103 s\u0103 stai pe \u0219ezlongul ei rupt \u00eentr-o parte \u0219i s\u0103 urm\u0103re\u0219ti cerul p\u00e2n\u0103 ce \u00ee\u021bi \u00een\u021bepene\u0219te g\u00e2tul e cea mai mi\u0219to chestie […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1098,15],"tags":[1185,1099,1115],"class_list":["post-10892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-44","category-proza","tag-cosmina-odageru","tag-egophobia-44","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-2PG","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10892","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10892"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10893,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10892\/revisions\/10893"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}