{"id":11080,"date":"2016-02-22T23:13:39","date_gmt":"2016-02-22T21:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=11080"},"modified":"2016-02-22T23:13:39","modified_gmt":"2016-02-22T21:13:39","slug":"stresul-dintre-orgasme","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=11080","title":{"rendered":"stresul dintre orgasme"},"content":{"rendered":"

[fragment de roman]<\/strong><\/p>\n

de Ana M\u0103nescu<\/p>\n

Zbooor. Dar e alt zbor acum. Penisul meu e aripa fr\u00eent\u0103 care se lupt\u0103, se lupt\u0103 \u0219i transpir\u0103.<\/p>\n

Tremurul revine, dar e alt tremur acum \u0219i m\u00eena mea e aripa s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 care trage tare, jos, sus, jos, sus, jooos, suuus.<\/p>\n

Sunt \u00een c\u0103dere \u0219i aripa s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 se mi\u0219c\u0103 mai repede, tot mai repede, frenetic, disperat, c\u0103ut\u00eend salvarea noastr\u0103.<\/p>\n

Aripa fr\u00eent\u0103 se zbate s\u0103 \u021bin\u0103 pasul, dar cedeaz\u0103 \u0219i via\u021ba se scurge din ea.<\/p>\n

Aripa dreapt\u0103 se mai mi\u0219c\u0103 de c\u00eeteva ori, mai \u00eent\u00eei cu un ultim efort, apoi din iner\u021bie. C\u0103dem. C\u0103dem \u00een ceva moale. M\u0103 scufund… Sau stai! M\u0103 \u00eenal\u021b, lumea e cu curu\u2019 \u00een sus \u0219i m\u0103 pr\u0103bu\u0219esc pe muntele albastru. Apogeul existen\u021bei mele. Zenitul… Aaah, zenitul! \u0218i dorm. \u00cen sf\u00eer\u0219it dorm.<\/p>\n

\n

*<\/p>\n

\n

M\u0103 trezesc stresat. A\u0219tept \u00eencordat zborul din fiecare sear\u0103, c\u00eend, cu o arip\u0103 rupt\u0103, trebuie s\u0103 ajung pe o culme. Dar cad, cad de fiecare dat\u0103 \u0219i \u00eentotdeauna c\u00eend sunt aproape de p\u0103m\u00eent lumea se inverseaz\u0103 \u0219i adorm pe un pisc albastru.<\/p>\n

\n

*<\/p>\n

\n

\u2014 Robert, \u00eenc\u00eentat.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Maria, dar \u00eemi po\u021bi spune Maia.<\/p>\n

\n

*<\/p>\n

\nPloua \u0219i ne ascunseser\u0103m \u00eentr-o cabin\u0103 telefonic\u0103. Aia care nu merge niciodat\u0103, de la F\u00eent\u00een\u0103. Au trecut pe l\u00eeng\u0103 noi \u0219i autobuzele mele, \u0219i ale ei, \u0219i ale altora, \u0219i ale lumii. Patru ore am stat \u00eencuia\u021bi, pe podeaua murdar\u0103 \u0219i rece.
\n\u2014 Tata e moldovean, de fapt. E primul n\u0103scut \u00een Bucure\u0219ti. Ai lui au crescut \u00een acela\u0219i sat. At\u00eetea genera\u021bii vin de acolo \u00eenc\u00eet sunt sigur\u0103 c\u0103 la un moment dat s-au combinat doi fra\u021bi sau doi veri, avem \u0219i c\u00ee\u021biva nebuni \u00een familie, eu cred c\u0103 de aici li se trage, dar mie \u00eemi place c\u0103-s pe juma\u2019 moldoveanc\u0103, se spune c\u0103-s focoase \u0219i…
\nC\u00eend r\u00eedea, s\u00eenii \u00eei tremurau liberi sub tricou \u0219i buzele \u00eei dezveleau \u0219i din\u021bii, \u0219i gingiile, \u0219i limba, \u0219i g\u00eetul, \u0219i totul. Vorbea \u00eencontinuu \u0219i r\u00eedea f\u0103r\u0103 oprire, de parc\u0103 tot ce ar fi zis ar fi fost nespus de amuzant. Nu m\u0103 fascina deloc ceea ce spunea, \u00een schimb m\u0103 topeam dup\u0103 felul \u00een care o f\u0103cea. Plin\u0103 de energie, plin\u0103 de veselie. Iar eu, care m\u0103 n\u0103scusem obosit \u0219i stresat, \u00eemi descoperisem \u00een sf\u00eer\u0219it un alt refugiu dec\u00eet zborul cu o arip\u0103 fr\u00eent\u0103.
\nBuzele \u00eei cr\u0103paser\u0103 de la frig \u0219i \u00eei s\u00eengera un col\u021b de jos. M-am apropiat de ea \u0219i am lins-o pe buz\u0103. Nu am s\u0103rutat-o. Doar i-am lins s\u00eengele. Clipea. Clipea des. Clipea \u0219ocat\u0103. Clipea cu poft\u0103. \u0218i-a lins \u0219i ea locul umed. \u0218i-a trecut degetul peste el, strivindu-\u0219i buza. I-a venit autobuzul. S-a repezit spre el, apoi s-a \u00eentors. Degetul ei era \u00eenc\u0103 pe ran\u0103. M\u0103 \u021bineam tare cu din\u021bii de acela\u0219i loc. C\u00eend mi-a dat \u0219i mie s\u00eengele, u\u0219ile s-au \u00eenchis. S\u00eengele ei se juca pe limba mea cu s\u00eengele meu \u0219i gustul \u0103la a r\u0103mas etern \u00een gur\u0103. \u00cel sp\u0103l cu cafea zilnic, dar amarul… amarul abia dac\u0103 \u00eel acoper\u0103.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Te iubesc. Vreau s\u0103 pot s\u0103 te iubesc \u00een fiecare zi, chiar dac\u0103 uneori te ur\u0103sc, chiar dac\u0103 m\u0103 plictise\u0219ti, chiar dac\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi nu o s\u0103 ne mai futem sau nu o s\u0103 mai vorbim \u0219i apoi nu vom mai face nici una, nici alta. Vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 enervezi at\u00eet de tare \u00eenc\u00eet s\u0103 vreau s\u0103 ne desp\u0103r\u021bim. S\u0103 cunosc tipe mi\u0219to \u0219i s\u0103 vreau s\u0103 te \u00een\u0219el. S\u0103 \u00eemi spui pentru a mia oar\u0103 s\u0103 te duc p\u00een\u0103 \u00een sta\u021bie \u0219i s\u0103 a\u0219tept cu tine. \u0218i s\u0103 vreau s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi sparg capul atunci, fiindc\u0103 sub plapum\u0103 e at\u00eet de bine… Dar s\u0103 te iubesc prea tare ca s\u0103 fac lucrurile astea.
\n\u2014 Te iubesc.
\n\u2014 \u0218i eu.
\n\u2014 Vreau s\u0103 fii so\u021bia mea.
\n\u2014 \u0218i eu.
\nNu am realizat c\u0103 nu mi-a spus niciodat\u0103 c\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u0219te. Doar \u201e\u0219i eu\u201d. Nu mi-a r\u0103spuns niciodat\u0103 \u201eDa\u201d pentru c\u0103, de fapt, nu am \u00eentrebat-o niciodat\u0103 dac\u0103 voia.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\n

Bagajele pe pat. Maia pl\u00eenge.<\/p>\n

\u201eAmariei e nume de \u021b\u0103ran. A venit aia de la \u021bar\u0103 \u0219i c\u00eend s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 actele a \u00eentrebat-o cum o cheam\u0103 \u0219i a zis Georgeta sau Florica. P\u0103i \u0219i mai cum? At\u00eeta dom\u2019le. Cum at\u00eeta? Cum \u00eel cheam\u0103 pe tac\u2019tu? Nu am. Atunci pe m\u0103-ta. A cui ie\u0219ti? A Mariei. \u0218i Amariei a r\u0103mas. Nume de \u021b\u0103ran. Cum s\u0103 te cheme Maria Amariei? \u00cen niciun caz.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014 Pleci?
\n\u2014 E tata.
\n\u2014 \u0218i sunt eu.
\n\u2014 Tata e unul singur, Robert. B\u0103ie\u021bi mai g\u0103sesc, dar tata e unu\u2019.
\n\u2014 Cum po\u021bi? Cum po\u021bi s\u0103 te ui\u021bi la mine? \u0218i s\u0103 pleci… s\u0103 pleci, serios?
\n\u2014 Robert, dac\u0103 ar fi fost altfel… dac\u0103 lucrurile ar fi stat altfel cu ai mei… poate c\u0103 ar fi…
\n\u2014 Sunt eu.
\n\u2014 \u0218tiu, asta \u00eemi spui mereu. E\u0219ti tu. Totul este despre tine. Ce vrei TU. Ce sim\u021bi TU. Pe mine nu m\u0103 iei \u00een calcul. Nu ai f\u0103cut-o niciodat\u0103. Totul a fost mereu un joc pervers pentru tine. Nu \u021bi-ai dat seama c\u0103 m\u0103 prefac c\u0103 am orgasm, apoi c\u0103 te ascult, apoi c\u0103 sunt fericit\u0103…
\n\u2014 M\u0103 iube\u0219ti?
\n\u2014 Vezi… tot despre tine e vorba, nu?
\n\u2014 Zi, m\u0103 mai iube\u0219ti?
\n\u2014 Dac\u0103 nu te-a\u0219 fi iubit nu a\u0219 fi r\u0103mas at\u00eeta timp.
\n\u2014 Acum. ACUM! M\u0103 mai iube\u0219ti?
\n\u2014 Da.
\n\u2014 \u0218i atunci de ce pleci?
\n\u2014 Pentru c\u0103 m-ai enervat de at\u00eetea ori \u0219i nu ai realizat niciodat\u0103 c\u00eet de aproape am fost de a pune punct. Pentru c\u0103 am cunoscut tipi mi\u0219to cu care am vrut s\u0103 te \u00een\u0219el. Pentru c\u0103 te rugam s\u0103 vii cu mine \u00een sta\u021bie ca s\u0103-\u021bi aminte\u0219ti cum era la \u00eenceput, c\u00eend am stat patru ore \u00een sta\u021bia de la Universitate, c\u00eend ploua a\u0219a de tare \u00eenc\u00eet d\u0103duse f\u00eent\u00eena pe dinafar\u0103 \u0219i ne inundase cabina telefonic\u0103. Dar tu st\u0103teai \u00een pat \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi d\u0103deai ochii peste cap, \u00ee\u021bi miroseai degetul, ca un pervers ordinar, s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi aminte\u0219ti cum miroseam, de parc\u0103 nu eram l\u00eeng\u0103 tine, de parc\u0103… \u0219i m\u0103 ignorai sau \u00eempro\u0219cai venin peste tot, ca o… ca o scorpie.
\n\u2014 Deci totul este din vina mea, Maia? Tu nu ai gre\u0219it cu nimic?
\n\u2014 Ba da. Am gre\u0219it. C\u0103 \u021bi-am permis de la bun \u00eenceput s\u0103 fii a\u0219a.
\n\u2014 M\u0103 iube\u0219ti?
\n\u2014 Sunt nefericit\u0103.
\n\u2014 M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? Asta ar trebui s\u0103 fie tot ce conteaz\u0103.
\n\u2014 Nu m\u0103 ascul\u021bi niciodat\u0103…
\n\u2014 M\u0103 iube\u0219ti?
\n\u2014 Pa, Robert.
\n\u2014 M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? Pe mine. Pe Mine! M\u0103 iube\u0219ti?<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Sunt o epav\u0103. O epav\u0103. M-am n\u0103scut tremur\u00eend, m-am n\u0103scut stresat. IIIIiiiii, arcu\u0219ul zg\u00eerie corzile, iiiiiiii, bravo, fiule. Vrei s\u0103-\u021bi dau de la mine? Io nu pot m\u00eenca at\u00eetea. Javrele nu sar niciodat\u0103 la ro\u021bile noastre. Zbooor. Divor\u021b\u0103m, mami? Ia, am \u0219terpelit-o de la mama. E cu \u021b\u00ee\u021be. Zenitul… Aaah, zenitul! A\u0219tept \u00eencordat zborul. \u00cemi po\u021bi spune Maia. \u00cen sf\u00eer\u0219it. Alt refugiu. \u00cen afar\u0103 de zborul cu o arip\u0103 fr\u00eent\u0103. S\u00eengele ei se juca pe limba mea cu s\u00eengele meu. S\u0103 cunosc tipe mi\u0219to. S\u0103 nu te \u00een\u0219el. Tata e unul singur, Robert. Acum. ACUM! Ca un pervers… venin… scorpie. M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? Nefericit\u0103. M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? Niciodat\u0103… M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? Pe mine. M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? M\u0103 iube\u0219ti? Iube\u0219ti? Pe mine m\u0103…? Pe mine, m\u0103?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Robert? Robert? Robert! D\u0103r\u00eem\u0103, Mihai, u\u0219a!<\/p>\n

IIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii<\/u>____________________________________________<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u2014 Fiule, te-a r\u0103sf\u0103\u021bat m\u0103-ta. De la at\u00eeta muzic\u0103 \u021bi se trage, altfel tu ai fi p\u0103r\u0103sit-o pe Maia. \u0218i pe multe altele, ohooo, s\u0103 vezi ce am f\u0103cut eu \u00een tinere\u021be, \u00eenainte s\u0103 m\u0103 iau cu m\u0103-ta. Las\u2019 c\u0103 te \u00eenv\u0103\u021b eu, fiule. Uite, \u021bi-am adus o c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 curat\u0103, un costum, ni\u0219te pantofi de b\u0103rbat, nu mai e\u0219ti un pu\u0219ti s\u0103 umbli \u00een chinez\u0103rii din alea. Cum le zice, tene\u0219i? Ce e\u0219ti tu, boschetar, s\u0103 umbli \u00een p\u00eenze \u0219i plastice? Uite \u0219i o cravat\u0103. Mergem s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi cump\u0103r\u0103m mai multe, \u00ee\u021bi ia tata o ma\u0219in\u0103 de ras… parfum. \u0218i parfum, da, da. Un telefon de\u0219tept, un ceas fi\u021bos \u0219i luni o s\u0103 fii gata. Ai dou\u0103jdoi d\u0103 ani, nu mai po\u021bi, fiule, gata, destul cu muzica.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Robert e catatonic. Robert e agent de v\u00eenz\u0103ri. Robert nu a mai dormit de un deceniu. Robert \u0219i-o ia la lab\u0103 \u00een fiecare sear\u0103. Robert are \u021boale d\u0103 firm\u0103 \u0219i pantofi care ar hr\u0103ni vecina de la trei timp de o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00een\u0103 \u0219i gadgeturi pe care nu \u0219tie cum s\u0103 le foloseasc\u0103. Robert a pierdut-o pe m\u0103-sa la trei\u0219pe ani, c\u00eend m\u0103-sa s-a pierdut pe ea. Robert a pierdut \u0219i prima femeie pe care a iubit-o. \u0218i pe toate cele care au urmat \u0219i pe toate cele pe care le-ar fi putut iubi, dac\u0103 le-ar fi oprit din drumurile lor. Robert e un ratat, plin de venin, plin de regrete \u0219i nu face absolut nimic, nu se \u00eenfurie, nu url\u0103, nu love\u0219te cu pumnii \u00een pere\u021bi, nu \u00ee\u0219i ascult\u0103 latura violent\u0103, fiindc\u0103 latura lui violent\u0103 are via\u021b\u0103, iar el nu, el nu, nu, nu… Nu! Nu mai suport, trebuie s\u0103 fac ceva. Trebuie s\u0103 fac ceva ce m\u0103 va salva.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Dumnezeule, e\u0219ti o fiin\u021b\u0103 penibil\u0103, nu-i de mirare c\u0103 Maia a plecat, c\u0103 toate au fugit, te-a mai f\u0103cut \u0219i m\u0103-ta scorpion, e\u0219ti plin de venin, saliva ta le arde buzele, ejaculezi otrav\u0103, o s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00eei singur toat\u0103 via\u021ba \u0219i o s\u0103 mori singur \u0219i o s\u0103 te \u00eengroape statul \u00eentr-un loc izolat sau \u00eentr-o groap\u0103 comun\u0103, dar nu va conta, nu va conta, \u00ee\u021bi zic, fiindc\u0103 vei fi singur \u0219i \u00een moarte, nimeni nu te va a\u0219tepta dincolo, se va descoperi f\u00eent\u00eena tinere\u021bii dup\u0103 moartea ta \u0219i to\u021bi vor tr\u0103i ve\u0219nic \u2013 ai t\u0103i \u0219i Maia, Iana \u0219i Candy, Marcu \u0219i Mihai \u2013, bigo <\/em>va deveni femeie \u0219i va r\u00eede \u00een dreptul morm\u00eentului t\u0103u am\u0103r\u00eet, c\u0103r\u021bile vor cre\u0219te m\u00eeini \u0219i picioare \u0219i s\u00eeni \u0219i penisuri \u0219i \u0219i-o vor trage pe oamenii care sunt \u0219i vor fi mereu \u0219i nimeni nu va veni dup\u0103 tine, nimeni, \u0219i nu-i de mirare, fiindc\u0103 tu nu iube\u0219ti, nu cu adev\u0103rat, tu nu \u00eentinzi nicio m\u00een\u0103, niciun deget m\u0103car, tu nici atunci c\u00eend \u021bi-o tragi nu te implici, te distrag mu\u0219tele \u0219i piuitul boxelor, alarmele ma\u0219inilor \u0219i dungile albe nelalocul lor \u00een bronz \u0219i aluni\u021bele, e\u0219ti asocial, nici m\u0103car nu ai bunul sim\u021b de-a fi misantrop, e\u0219ti doar asocial \u0219i \u00eentr-o zi nu o s\u0103 mai ai droguri \u0219i nu o s\u0103 \u021bi se mai scoale \u0219i o s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00eei cu ochii pe pere\u021bi, o s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00eei p\u00een\u0103-n moarte, p\u00een\u0103-\u00een-moarte, \u0219i nimeni, n i m e n i nu te va a\u0219tepta \u0219i nu te va urma…<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

M-am n\u0103scut stresat \u0219i tremur\u00eend, dar \u00ee\u021bi garantez c\u0103 nu a fost nimic fa\u021b\u0103 de ce a urmat. Tensiunea nu se elibereaz\u0103 niciodat\u0103, toate orgasmele, toate satisfac\u021biile sunt doar puncte maxime de \u00eencordare, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 existe o explozie, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se elibereze elasticul, e \u00eentins, e \u00eentins, c\u00eet te mai po\u021bi \u00eentinde? D\u0103-i drumul, Dumnezeule, d\u0103-i drumul, las\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103-mi dau drumul!<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Data viitoare c\u00eend m\u0103 va \u00eentreba cineva cum m\u0103 cheam\u0103, \u00eei voi spune c\u0103 sunt o epav\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 de pe epave s-a \u0219ters de mult timp numele.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fragment de roman] de Ana M\u0103nescu Zbooor. Dar e alt zbor acum. Penisul meu e aripa fr\u00eent\u0103 care se lupt\u0103, se lupt\u0103 \u0219i transpir\u0103. Tremurul revine, dar e alt tremur acum \u0219i m\u00eena mea e aripa s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 care trage tare, jos, sus, jos, sus, jooos, suuus. Sunt \u00een c\u0103dere \u0219i aripa s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 se mi\u0219c\u0103 mai […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1188,15],"tags":[1051,1189,875,1115],"class_list":["post-11080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-45","category-proza","tag-ana-manescu","tag-egophobia-45","tag-fragment-de-roman","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-2SI","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11080"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11081,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11080\/revisions\/11081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}