{"id":11084,"date":"2016-02-23T03:28:22","date_gmt":"2016-02-23T01:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=11084"},"modified":"2016-02-22T23:30:55","modified_gmt":"2016-02-22T21:30:55","slug":"poems-by-lana-bella-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=11084","title":{"rendered":"poems by Lana Bella"},"content":{"rendered":"

Words best left unkissed on a dry martini<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

words best left unkissed\u00a0on\u00a0a dry martini,<\/p>\n

still,\u00a0I will unlock\u00a0my door’s latch<\/p>\n

for the woman who\u00a0hid behind<\/p>\n

the Chanel red rouge,<\/p>\n

and whose lips\u00a0chiseled\u00a0my grief<\/p>\n

on\u00a0her desert-scorched<\/p>\n

crescendos,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

every syllable she spoke<\/p>\n

found\u00a0strange shelter in my flesh<\/p>\n

gone wrong, tasting her lies<\/p>\n

I stayed, spitting out dust<\/p>\n

I was granted a passage\u00a0across<\/p>\n

her wide-mouth yawns,<\/p>\n

she found my heart can flex,<\/p>\n

and eyes swell with her remaining,<\/p>\n

so she peeled\u00a0wetness<\/p>\n

from the glass\u00a0of my martini,<\/p>\n

as vertigo buckled down the portals of our kiss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lost and found then lost again<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

you were narrow as a church spire<\/p>\n

when\u00a0everyone else\u00a0pooled silvers in<\/p>\n

their\u00a0upturned\u00a0palms, carrying goods<\/p>\n

like water from a well–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

stealing vermilion to construct ink,<\/p>\n

you thought of reformation, of envying<\/p>\n

a little less by sketching white horses<\/p>\n

on carousel–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

your old carbon a dissolving silvery<\/p>\n

orb, solidifying as sequins on a halter<\/p>\n

top nestling the weight of a burlesque<\/p>\n

dancer–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

but still you sought, vexed the greed<\/p>\n

with thirst for seraphim from heaven<\/p>\n

and oblivion draped in prayers’ beads<\/p>\n

that stretched your bones in two\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

then August\u00a0moon\u00a0turned gold leafs<\/p>\n

into shards as\u00a0sharp as\u00a0ice, your eyes<\/p>\n

ached and\u00a0teeth chattered\u00a0from poor<\/p>\n

and hungry fingers\u00a0that plagued your<\/p>\n

pockets\u00a0for coins–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

now, your gloved hands filled with dust<\/p>\n

and blue smoke\u00a0instead of wine and fine<\/p>\n

lace, your face dressed in an old, frayed<\/p>\n

armor, mouth hummed a worms’ song<\/p>\n

and feet standing above directionless<\/p>\n

earth–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is how I failed<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the final Tuesday,<\/p>\n

I begged for words\u00a0but\u00a0got\u00a0nothing.<\/p>\n

Not even\u00a0a gossip.<\/p>\n

So\u00a0why did that\u00a0make me ache?<\/p>\n

when\u00a0I have\u00a0lived through\u00a0decades<\/p>\n

of caterwauled\u00a0summers\u00a0then<\/p>\n

blood-letting\u00a0winters<\/p>\n

with\u00a0the bareness of half-moon<\/p>\n

to\u00a0warm\u00a0my\u00a0back.<\/p>\n

Bitten\u00a0nails\u00a0towel away\u00a0bleating<\/p>\n

in\u00a0the nights,<\/p>\n

an empty flagon\u00a0of\u00a0ointment<\/p>\n

that\u00a0flaked\u00a0with\u00a0dust<\/p>\n

to salve\u00a0the\u00a0dark’s\u00a0knowing,<\/p>\n

and my narrow\u00a0elbows\u00a0with flailing<\/p>\n

bone-tips\u00a0float amid\u00a0the sleeves<\/p>\n

like twin inner\u00a0tubes:<\/p>\n

their follicles spread\u00a0like uranium<\/p>\n

in\u00a0the company of\u00a0woolen threads.<\/p>\n

Fingers crawled out<\/p>\n

the\u00a0sleeves,\u00a0pale tips reared to<\/p>\n

the midnight air’s\u00a0convulsing\u00a0halos,<\/p>\n

only to comb through\u00a0the yearning of<\/p>\n

my breasts like tiny hurling fists.<\/p>\n

Still,\u00a0there I stood,<\/p>\n

a thin black silhouette\u00a0on the history<\/p>\n

still\u00a0to come,<\/p>\n

a hidden fissure in a paneling of air,<\/p>\n

gathering the dark burr back<\/p>\n

inside my mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Words best left unkissed on a dry martini   words best left unkissed\u00a0on\u00a0a dry martini, still,\u00a0I will unlock\u00a0my door’s latch for the woman who\u00a0hid behind the Chanel red rouge, and whose lips\u00a0chiseled\u00a0my grief on\u00a0her desert-scorched crescendos,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1188,77],"tags":[1189,1123,1096],"class_list":["post-11084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-45","category-english","tag-egophobia-45","tag-english","tag-lana-bella"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-2SM","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11084"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11084\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11085,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11084\/revisions\/11085"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}