{"id":12014,"date":"2017-12-30T22:54:03","date_gmt":"2017-12-30T20:54:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12014"},"modified":"2017-12-30T12:55:19","modified_gmt":"2017-12-30T10:55:19","slug":"putin-mai-mult","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12014","title":{"rendered":"Pu\u021bin mai mult"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: right;\">de Maria Florescu<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Murmurul ne\u00eentrerupt ce \u00eemp\u00e2nzise \u00eenc\u0103perea o introdusese pe femeie \u00eentr-o stare de amor\u021beal\u0103. Mintea \u00eei fugise pe alte meleaguri, iar privirea \u00eei era fixat\u0103 de c\u00e2teva minute bune pe clan\u021ba ce str\u0103lucea constant \u00een lumina galben\u0103 a lustrei.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">O umbr\u0103 \u00eei \u00eentunec\u0103 privirea brusc, sco\u021b\u00e2nd-o cu for\u021ba din lumea necunoscut\u0103 \u00een care se ascunsese. Clipi des \u0219i privi nedumerit\u0103 \u00een jur. Unde Dumnezeu se afla? \u00cembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103perea cu privirea \u0219i, c\u00e2nd realiz\u0103 unde era, inima aproape i se opri. Vru s\u0103 trag\u0103 aer \u00een piept, \u00eens\u0103 avea senza\u021bia c\u0103 inspira cenu\u0219\u0103. \u00ce\u0219i duse m\u00e2na la piept \u0219i trase de c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103, desf\u0103c\u00e2nd nasturele ce \u00eei lipea materialul de piele. Tu\u0219i de c\u00e2teva ori, reu\u0219ind \u00eentr-un final s\u0103 ias\u0103 din starea de \u0219oc ce o izbise.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Acas\u0103. Se afla\u00a0<em>acas\u0103<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se ridic\u0103 de pe scaunul netapi\u021bat pe care se trezise \u0219i f\u0103cu o piruet\u0103 scurt\u0103, admir\u00e2nd totul cu maxilarul aproape atig\u00e2ndu-i poalele. Toate erau exact a\u0219a cum \u0219i le amintea. Patul cu picioare \u00eenalte ocupa \u00eentreg peretele dinspre r\u0103s\u0103rit, l\u0103s\u00e2nd loc, la cap\u0103tul s\u0103u, doar l\u0103zii de zestre din lemn masiv \u00een care obi\u0219nuia m\u0103mica s\u0103 \u021bin\u0103 hainele. Chicoti atunci c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0219i aminti de momentele petrecute cu mai mult de treizeci de ani \u00een urm\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd se ghemuia sub p\u0103turi, tem\u00e2ndu-se de monstrul de sub pat. Nu \u00een\u021belesese niciodat\u0103 de ce trebuia patul s\u0103 fie at\u00e2t de \u00eenalt \u0219i s\u0103 aib\u0103 at\u00e2t de mult spa\u021biu sub el. Da, sigur, \u00eei pl\u0103cea s\u0103 se ascund\u0103 acolo c\u00e2nd se juca \u00eempreun\u0103 cu t\u0103ticul, dar noaptea locul acela era \u00eenfrico\u0219\u0103tor. Singurul lucru care o putea lini\u0219ti erau rug\u0103ciunile mamei.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eNu te teme, mamaie, nu e nimeni cu noi \u00een afar\u0103 de Dumnezeu, iar El nu-\u021bi va face niciodat\u0103 r\u0103u\u201d, obi\u0219nuia ea s\u0103-i spun\u0103. \u201e\u00centoarce-te cu fa\u021ba spre r\u0103s\u0103rit, spune-\u021bi rug\u0103ciunile \u0219i ai s\u0103 vezi ce repede adormi\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia \u00eentotdeauna o \u00eenv\u0103\u021base c\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd te rogi, cel mai bine e s\u0103 stai cu fa\u021ba spre locul din care r\u0103sare soarele.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eC\u00e2nd faci cruce, c\u00e2nd te rogi, stai cu fa\u021ba la r\u0103s\u0103rit. De cl\u0103de\u0219ti o cas\u0103, s-o faci tot cu fa\u021ba la r\u0103s\u0103rit. Are putere, c\u0103 de-acolo vine lumina\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se apropie de pat \u0219i se opri \u00een dreptul acestuia, privind la covorul tradi\u021bional, \u021besut manual, ce acoperea peretele. \u00cel atinse iute cu buricele degetelor, \u00eentr-o m\u00e2ng\u00e2iere parc\u0103 fantomatic\u0103. \u0218terse lacrima ce tocmai \u00eei br\u0103zdase obrazul \u0219i porni \u00eenspre col\u021bul opus al camerei, av\u00e2nd, \u00eens\u0103, grij\u0103 s\u0103 nu \u00ee\u0219i loveasc\u0103 t\u00e2mpla de culmea pe care punea m\u0103mica hainele la uscat. Odaia nu avea un tavan prea \u00eenalt, a\u0219a c\u0103 bucata de lemn fixat\u0103 pe dou\u0103 grinzi ale acestuia era aproape de nivelul capului.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eDe c\u00e2te ori nu te-a \u00eenjurat t\u0103ticul&#8230;\u201d, r\u00e2se ea, amintindu-\u0219i.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Trecu pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 blidarele \u00een care \u021bineau vasele \u0219i se opri l\u00e2ng\u0103 sob\u0103. Dintre toate locurile din micu\u021ba lor c\u0103su\u021b\u0103, soba, sau mai bine zis, spa\u021biul din spatele sobei, era locul ce \u00eei trezea cele mai multe amintiri. T\u0103ticul lucrase la gar\u0103 \u0219i, ori de c\u00e2te ori aveau musafiri cu care cei mici nu aveau ce discuta, b\u0103rbatul \u00eei \u00eenghesuia pe cei trei copii, o fat\u0103 \u0219i doi b\u0103ie\u021bi mai mari, \u00een spa\u021biul din spatele sobei. A\u0219eza o fa\u021b\u0103 de pern\u0103 la \u201eintrare\u201d \u0219i le spunea s\u0103 fac\u0103 lini\u0219te. Copiii \u00ee\u0219i petreceau mare parte din timp juc\u00e2ndu-se, iar dac\u0103 f\u0103ceau prea mult\u0103 g\u0103l\u0103gie sau se \u00eenghionteau prea mult \u0219i deranjau bucata de material ce \u00eei ascundea, t\u0103ticul \u00eencepea s\u0103 numere de la trei \u00een jos \u0219i imediat se lini\u0219teau. Dac\u0103 nu o f\u0103ceau, \u0219tiau ce \u00eei a\u0219teapt\u0103. Oricum, nu de pu\u021bine ori se \u00eent\u00e2mplase s\u0103 se \u00eenghionteasc\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eel supere pe tat\u0103l lor. \u00cen acele momente, mic\u0103 fiind, femeia de acum patruzeci de ani \u00eel\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">George oft\u0103 zgomotos \u0219i arunc\u0103 pixul \u00een cealalt\u0103 parte a camerei, acesta lovindu-se de geam \u0219i rostogolindu-se p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een mijlocul \u00eenc\u0103perii.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Drace! \u021bip\u0103. Rahat!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se ridic\u0103 brusc de pe scaun \u0219i, neobosindu-se s\u0103-l ridice dup\u0103 ce c\u0103zu, \u00eencepu s\u0103 se plimbe de colo-colo, cu fa\u021ba afundat\u0103 \u00een palme.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 N-o s-o termin niciodat\u0103, l-am auzit morm\u0103ind.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se opri dintr-odat\u0103 \u0219i se \u00eentoarse cu fa\u021ba la mine.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 N-o s-o termin niciodat\u0103! zbier\u0103, de parc\u0103 r\u0103stindu-se la mine urma s\u0103 rezolve ceva.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">A\u0219 fi vrut s\u0103 \u00eei r\u0103spund, s\u0103 \u00eei spun c\u0103 o s\u0103 reu\u0219easc\u0103, \u00eentr-un final, s\u0103 o duc\u0103 la bun sf\u00e2r\u0219it, dar cuvintele pur \u0219i simplu nu voiau s\u0103 ias\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Nenorocita asta de povestire&#8230; de ce dracu&#8217; m-am b\u0103gat eu \u00een prostia asta nu \u0219tiu&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ridic\u0103 pixul \u0219i scaunul de jos \u0219i se a\u0219ez\u0103 din nou \u00een fa\u021ba caietului, oft\u00e2nd greu.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Poate \u00eemi mai dai \u0219i mie ni\u0219te idei, \u00een loc s\u0103 stai ca mom\u00e2ia \u00een spatele meu \u0219i s\u0103 te pl\u00e2ngi c\u0103 nu-\u021bi dau aten\u021bie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cei spusesem de mai multe ori c\u0103 nu \u00eemi pl\u0103cea c\u00e2nd st\u0103tea cu spatele la mine, dar de fiecare dat\u0103 s-a scuzat, spun\u00e2nd c\u0103, de\u0219i eram musafir \u00een casa lui, nu avea unde altundeva s\u0103 m\u0103 pun\u0103 dec\u00e2t \u00een spatele biroului. A\u0219a c\u0103 atunci nu am mai zis nimic; m-am mul\u021bumit s\u0103 \u00eei ignor comentariul \u0219i s\u0103 privesc peste um\u0103rul lui, \u00een caietul pe jum\u0103tate plin.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Femeia de acum patruzeci de ani \u00eel&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eura. Detestase dintotdeauna stricte\u021bea p\u0103rintelui s\u0103u, dar, ca to\u021bi copiii, nu avusese niciodat\u0103 curajul de a \u00eei repro\u0219a ceva. Nu avea dreptul de a o face.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Scutur\u0103 din cap pentru a alunga amintirile, de aceasta dat\u0103 nu tocmai pl\u0103cute, \u0219i \u00eentoarse spatele sobei.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00ce\u0219i duse m\u00e2na la gur\u0103 \u0219i privi stupefiat\u0103 la imaginea din fa\u021ba ochilor. Era, \u00een mijlocul camerei, masa cu t\u0103lpi laterale de la care nu o l\u0103sa m\u0103mica s\u0103 se ridice dec\u00e2t dup\u0103 ce termina tot din farfurie. Ridic\u0103 pu\u021bin col\u021bul materialului ce o acoperea \u0219i z\u0103ri sertarul \u00een care ascundea, c\u00e2nd era mic\u0103, m\u00e2ncarea pe care nu o mai putea \u00eenghi\u021bi.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eHai, drag\u0103, ce stai priponit\u0103 acolo? Nu vezi c\u0103 te a\u0219teapt\u0103 lumea?\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cenghi\u021bi \u00een sec \u0219i se a\u0219ez\u0103 pe singurul scaun liber. \u00cenaintea ei se \u00eentindea o mare de bucate, care mai de care mai bine mirositoare; chi\u0219c\u0103, sarmale, friptur\u0103, \u0219unc\u0103, br\u00e2nzeturi. Gura i se umplu rapid de saliv\u0103, iar stomacul i se pl\u00e2nse. O durere ascu\u021bit\u0103 o \u00eempunse \u00een piept c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0219i aminti c\u00e2t timp trecuse de la ultima ei mas\u0103 de Cr\u0103ciun.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00centinse m\u00e2na spre platoul cu ro\u0219ii, dar \u0219i-o trase brusc \u00eenapoi atunci c\u00e2nd cineva i-o plesni.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eStai locului, maic\u0103. Anafura \u0219i agheasma mai \u00eent\u00e2i, ai uitat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Abia atunci \u00ee\u0219i d\u0103du seama cine se afla la mas\u0103 al\u0103turi de ea: m\u0103mica, t\u0103ticul \u0219i cei doi fra\u021bi. \u00ce\u0219i afund\u0103 chipul \u00een palme \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i d\u0103du voie s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103. Nu \u00ee\u0219i mai v\u0103zuse p\u0103rin\u021bii de cincisprezece ani; femeia murise \u00een urma unui accident de ma\u0219in\u0103 chiar \u00een fa\u021ba por\u021bii, iar b\u0103tr\u00e2nul fusese r\u0103pus de Alzheimer \u2013 uitase complet de moartea so\u021biei \u0219i plecase \u00een c\u0103utarea ei prin p\u0103durile dese din spatele casei. Fusese g\u0103sit mort, cel mai probabil din cauza frigului.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Fra\u021bii plecaser\u0103 \u0219i ei de acas\u0103 imediat ce atinseser\u0103 v\u00e2rsta majoratului, iar sora lor nu mai auzise nimic de ei \u00een cei dou\u0103zeci de ani ce trecuser\u0103 de atunci. \u00cei era dor de ei, mereu se \u00een\u021beleseser\u0103 bine. De\u0219i uneori atitudinea tat\u0103lui s\u0103u p\u0103rea a-i provoca la ceart\u0103, cei trei copii mereu se iubiser\u0103 \u0219i rar se certau.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eHai, pitico, ia-le odat\u0103!\u201d insist\u0103 cel mai mare dintre cei doi. \u201eMi-e foame!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia \u00ee\u0219i \u0219terse lacrimile cu m\u00e2neca de la c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 \u0219i \u00eei arunc\u0103 un z\u00e2mbet larg.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eSigur, iart\u0103-m\u0103\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cenghi\u021bi bucata de anafur\u0103 \u0219i b\u0103u dou\u0103 guri de agheasm\u0103, apoi \u00eentinse din nou m\u00e2na, de aceast\u0103 dat\u0103 nu c\u0103tre farfuria cu ro\u0219ii, ci c\u0103tre castronul cu vr\u0103bii fripte. Oft\u0103 de pl\u0103cere atunci c\u00e2nd bucata de carne aproape i se topi \u00een gur\u0103 \u0219i mai lu\u0103 una.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eEi, hai, tu, \u0219tiu c\u0103 sunt preferatele tale, da&#8217; mai sunt \u0219i al\u021bii la mas\u0103\u201d, r\u00e2se b\u0103tr\u00e2na, m\u00e2ng\u00e2ind-o pe femeie pe m\u00e2n\u0103. \u201eUite, ia d-asta\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cei \u00eentinse o farfurie pe care se aflau mai multe rondele albe, asem\u0103n\u0103toare ridichilor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eCe sunt?\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Z\u00e2mbetul b\u0103tr\u00e2nei p\u0103ru a \u00eempietri brusc, iar r\u0103spunsul ie\u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 a-\u0219i mi\u0219ca buzele vreun pic:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eTurmeric\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia se \u00eencrunt\u0103, lu\u00e2nd o rondel\u0103 \u0219i analiz\u00e2nd-o cu aten\u021bie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eTurmericul nu era&#8230; portocaliu&#8230;? Astea sunt albe\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">De aceast\u0103 dat\u0103 nu mai primi un r\u0103spuns, ci doar un \u00eendemn subtil de a mu\u0219ca din leguma ce o avea \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103. O duse la gur\u0103, dar se opri chiar \u00eenainte de a o gusta. \u00ce\u0219i aminti.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eE manioc&#8230; M\u0103mic\u0103, \u0103sta e manioc, e otr\u0103vitor crud!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">B\u0103tr\u00e2na flutur\u0103 din m\u00e2n\u0103, \u00eencrunt\u00e2ndu-se.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eEi, prostii! M\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103, s\u0103 vezi!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eNu! \u0218tiu ce vorbesc! Chiar acum c\u00e2teva zile am cump\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Mami, de ce pl\u00e2ngi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se opri brusc \u0219i privi la palma \u00een care avusese leguma otr\u0103vitoare. Era goal\u0103. \u00cen locul c\u0103m\u0103\u0219ii albe, curate, z\u0103ri m\u00e2neca sc\u0103mo\u0219at\u0103 a puloverului lila pe care obi\u0219nuia s\u0103 \u00eel poarte peste pijamale. Masa la care fusese a\u0219ezat\u0103 disp\u0103ruse brusc, la fel \u0219i cei patru membri ai familiei care se aflaser\u0103 al\u0103turi de ea. Privi haotic \u00een jur, c\u0103ut\u00e2nd patul \u00eenalt ce \u00eei cauza co\u0219maruri, culmea de care se lovea t\u0103ticul sau chiar soba dup\u0103 care \u00eei ascundea c\u00e2nd erau mici. Nimic. Toate disp\u0103ruser\u0103. Acum se afla&#8230; tot acas\u0103, dar casa din alt\u0103 via\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Mami? M-auzi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia scutur\u0103 brusc din cap \u0219i clipi des, focaliz\u00e2ndu-\u0219i privirea pe chipul copilului ce o tr\u0103gea de fust\u0103. \u00ce\u0219i trase zgomotos nasul \u0219i \u00eei arunc\u0103 un z\u00e2mbet chinuit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Nu pl\u00e2nge mami, puiu\u021b. Am str\u0103nutat \u0219i acum \u00eemi l\u0103crimeaz\u0103 ochii.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cei m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie obrazul \u0219i \u00eei l\u0103s\u0103 un pupic scurt pe frunte, \u00eenainte de a ad\u0103uga:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Hai, fugi, te strig\u0103 Betty, n-auzi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 \u021a\u021b, f\u0103cu b\u0103ie\u021belul, cl\u0103tin\u00e2nd juc\u0103u\u0219 din cap. M\u0103mico, p\u0103pu\u0219ile nu vorbesc, \u0219tii asta!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Mama b\u0103iatului z\u00e2mbi \u0219i \u00eei d\u0103du o palm\u0103 la fund, \u00eemping\u00e2ndu-l u\u0219or. Copilul nu se \u00eempotrivi \u0219i \u021bop\u0103i vesel p\u00e2n\u0103 la p\u0103pu\u0219a care \u00eel a\u0219tepta \u00een\u021bepenit\u0103 pe patul din f\u00e2n, singura juc\u0103rie pe care o primise \u00een cei cinci ani pe care \u00eei avea. Nu \u00eel deranjase deloc faptul c\u0103 nu era o ma\u0219inu\u021b\u0103 sau vreun robot, ci doar se bucurase c\u0103 primise \u0219i el, \u00eentr-un sf\u00e2r\u0219it, o juc\u0103rie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia se ridic\u0103 cu greu de pe scaun, amor\u021beala ce \u00eei \u00eenvelise picioarele \u00eempiedic\u00e2nd-o s\u0103 stea dreapt\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 a se sprijini de ceva. F\u0103cu doi-trei pa\u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 la butoiul \u00een care str\u00e2ngeau apa de ploaie \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i l\u0103s\u0103 greutatea pe marginea acestuia. Lacrimile \u00eencepur\u0103 din nou s\u0103 curg\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0219i aminti de scurta vedenie din care o trezise fiul ei. Pic\u0103turile s\u0103rate i se str\u00e2nser\u0103 sub b\u0103rbie, desprinz\u00e2ndu-se mai apoi de piele \u0219i contopindu-se cu apa limpede din butoi. \u00ce\u0219i afund\u0103 m\u00e2inile \u00een acesta \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i ud\u0103 chipul, z\u0103bovind pentru c\u00e2teva momente cu el \u00een palme.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00ce\u0219i usc\u0103 fa\u021ba cu un prosop apucat la nimereal\u0103 \u0219i se privi apoi \u00een bucata de sticl\u0103 ce \u00eei servea de oglind\u0103. P\u0103rul negru \u00eei era murdar, slinos \u0219i \u00eei acoperea aproape ochii. Le era greu s\u0103 se spele des \u00een perioada iernii, c\u0103ci frigul era nemilos \u0219i copilul r\u0103cea imediat, iar ca s\u0103 fac\u0103 doar ea baie era, de altfel, imposibil, c\u0103ci nu aveau \u00eendeajuns de mult\u0103 ap\u0103 ca s\u0103 o consume aiurea. Cearc\u0103nele \u00eei \u00eentunecau ochii alba\u0219tri \u0219i p\u0103reau a trage de pielea obrazului \u00een jos, f\u0103c\u00e2nd-o s\u0103 par\u0103 mai b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103 dec\u00e2t era de fapt.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ce se \u00eent\u00e2mplase cu ea? Cum de ajunsese \u00een halul \u0103la? S\u0103 locuiasc\u0103 \u00eentr-un hambar, din mila unor oameni mult prea buni la suflet. S\u0103 bea ap\u0103 de ploaie \u0219i s\u0103 doarm\u0103 pe un pat din f\u00e2n. S\u0103 se sufoce sub un morman de p\u0103turi zdren\u021buroase pentru c\u0103 groapa plin\u0103 cu pietre din col\u021bul \u00een care f\u0103ceau focul nu-i \u00eenc\u0103lzea \u00eendeajuns pe timpul iernii. S\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 \u00een halul \u0103sta&#8230; cu un copil dup\u0103 ea. Ce f\u0103cuse toat\u0103 via\u021ba ei? De ce nu terminase generala? Ar fi continuat cu o \u0219coal\u0103 profesional\u0103 \u0219i tot ar fi ie\u0219it mai bine. \u00ce\u0219i b\u0103tuse joc de via\u021ba ei \u0219i mai avusese tupeul s\u0103 aduc\u0103 pe lume un alt suflet pe care s\u0103-l chinuie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">G\u00e2ndurile \u00eei fur\u0103 \u00eentrerupte de un subit cioc\u0103nit \u00een poarta hambarului. Aceasta se deschise, \u00een dreptul ei ap\u0103r\u00e2nd o femeie scund\u0103 \u0219i robust\u0103, cu obrajii \u00eembujora\u021bi \u0219i un z\u00e2mbet cald pe chip.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Bun\u0103, Lena, cum mai e\u0219ti? \u00eentreb\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Lena \u00ee\u0219i trase nasul \u0219i-\u0219i \u0219terse iute lacrimile, for\u021b\u00e2nd un sur\u00e2s.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Bine, bine. Sunt bine. Dumneavoastr\u0103, doamn\u0103 Gina?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia z\u00e2mbi \u0219i mai larg \u0219i se \u00eentoarse cu spatele, f\u0103c\u00e2nd cuiva semn s\u0103 se apropie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Minunat! Uite, uite! exclam\u0103 ea, deschiz\u00e2nd poarta mai larg. B\u0103rbat\u0103-miu a g\u0103sit un br\u0103du\u021b mai ieftin azi, c\u00e2nd s-a dus s\u0103 cumpere unul pentru noi, \u0219i l-a cump\u0103rat pentru voi! \u00ce\u021bi place?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Lena privi uimit\u0103 la copacul ce-i ajungea p\u00e2n\u0103 la umeri \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i duse m\u00e2na la piept.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 V\u0103 mul\u021bumesc enorm. Sunte\u021bi sigur\u0103 c\u0103&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Clar! Este cadoul de la Mo\u0219 Cr\u0103ciun pentru voi! S\u0103 aib\u0103 unde s\u0103 pun\u0103 darurile disear\u0103 pentru piticul \u0103sta adorabil, ad\u0103ug\u0103, ciufulind p\u0103rul b\u0103iatului ce tocmai se apropiase.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Cine e Mo\u0219 Cr\u0103ciun?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Inima Lenei se opri brusc, iar expresia doamnei Gina \u00eempietri. Copilul nu \u0219tia de personajul magic ce aducea cadouri celor mici&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se \u00eencrunt\u0103 la mama copilului, cer\u00e2ndu-\u0219i iertare din priviri.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 \u00cemi pare\u2013<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Doamna Gina, o \u00eentrerupse mama b\u0103iatului. Mi-a\u021bi putea da, v\u0103 rog, b\u0103nu\u021bii mai devreme s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na asta? \u0218tiu c\u0103 nu sunt mul\u021bi, dar a\u0219 fi vrut s\u0103 iau m\u0103car dou\u0103-trei legume pentru seara asta. Poate, eventual, dau de Mo\u0219 \u0219i-l rog s\u0103-i ia \u0219i o ma\u0219inu\u021b\u0103, ceva.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">B\u0103tr\u00e2na aprob\u0103 scurt din cap \u0219i \u00eei \u00eenm\u00e2n\u0103 cei cincizeci de lei pe care \u00eei d\u0103dea s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal ca plat\u0103 pentru c\u0103 avea grij\u0103 de cas\u0103 c\u00e2t era ea plecat\u0103. Privi apoi scurt la b\u0103iatul ce observa interesat bancnotele \u0219i mai scoase alte dou\u0103 de c\u00e2te zece lei.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Z\u00e2mbi \u0219i apoi \u00eei \u00eentoarse spatele, \u00eenchiz\u00e2nd u\u0219a dup\u0103 ea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Vl\u0103du\u021b, am s\u0103 te rog ceva, scumpule. Am s\u0103 te rog s\u0103 stai cuminte \u0219i s\u0103 te joci cu Betty c\u00e2t timp eu am s\u0103 plec, da? M\u0103 duc s\u0103 cump\u0103r m\u00e2ncare.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">B\u0103ie\u021belul aprob\u0103 din cap \u0219i alerg\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la p\u0103pu\u0219a acuns\u0103 printre paie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia \u00ee\u0219i arunc\u0103 geaca \u00een spate \u0219i porni gr\u0103bit\u0103 spre sta\u021bia de maxi taxi. Doi kilometri o desp\u0103r\u021beau de cel mai apropiat supermarket.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u0218tia ce voia s\u0103 cumpere, a\u0219a c\u0103 nu pierdu timpul.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">C\u00e2nd se \u00eentoarse, Vlad era coco\u021bat \u00een mijlocul \u201epatului\u201d, molf\u0103ind o bucat\u0103 m\u0103ricic\u0103 de ciocolat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 De unde o ai? \u00eel \u00eentreb\u0103 Lena.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 De la doamna Gina. Mi-a adus un sendvi\u0219 \u0219i o ciocolat\u0103 c\u00e2t ai fost tu plecat\u0103. Ah, \u0219i a zis c\u0103 o s\u0103 vin\u0103 pu\u021bin mai t\u00e2rziu, c\u0103 are ceva pentru tine.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Femeia d\u0103du scurt din cap \u0219i se \u00eendrept\u0103 spre lada din spatele butoiului cu ap\u0103, unde \u021binea, \u00eenf\u0103\u0219urate \u00eentr-un prosop gros, dou\u0103 cu\u021bite. \u00cel lu\u0103 pe cel mai mare \u0219i scoase r\u0103d\u0103cinile din pung\u0103, t\u0103indu-le rondele. \u00a0Le a\u0219ez\u0103 pe o farfurie de plastic al\u0103turi de c\u00e2teva buc\u0103\u021bele de ro\u0219ii \u0219i br\u00e2nz\u0103. Imaginea m\u0103micii sale \u00eei trecu prin fa\u021ba ochilor, amintindu-\u0219i de viziunea de mai devreme. S\u0103 fi fost oare un semn? S\u0103 fi fost asta chiar mama ei care o chema la ea, indirect, \u00a0pe lumea cealalt\u0103? Scutur\u0103 din cap, \u00eendep\u0103rt\u00e2nd g\u00e2ndul. Ar fi vrut s\u0103 cread\u0103 c\u0103 un p\u0103rinte nu era \u00een stare s\u0103 doreasc\u0103 moarte odraslelor sale, dar, cunosc\u00e2ndu-\u0219i propriile g\u00e2nduri, \u0219tia c\u0103 nu era adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Oft\u0103 lung, lacrimile \u00een\u021bep\u00e2ndu-i col\u021burile ochilor. \u00cei era greu, dar trebuia s\u0103 pun\u0103 cap\u0103t. Nu mai putea suporta s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i vad\u0103 copilul tr\u0103ind ca un animal. Nu o interesa de propria persoan\u0103, dar de Vl\u0103du\u021b? Ce vin\u0103 avea Vl\u0103du\u021b?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 A\u0219 putea s-o las a\u0219a, \u0219tii?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se \u00eentoarse spre mine cu un z\u00e2mbet larg pe chip. Z\u0103bovi a\u0219a pre\u021b de c\u00e2teva secunde bune, p\u0103r\u00e2nd a privi prin mine \u00een timp ce \u00ee\u0219i molf\u0103ia buza de jos.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Chiar n-a ie\u0219it r\u0103u deloc, morm\u0103i el. De fapt&#8230; chiar \u00eemi\u00a0<em>place<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Am privit uimit la el. \u00cei place?! Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 faptul c\u0103 \u00een urm\u0103 cu c\u00e2teva ore f\u0103cea ca toate animalele fiindc\u0103 nu avea inspira\u021bie \u0219i scria \u2013 \u0219i citez \u2013 \u201eun rahat\u201d, ce era de pl\u0103cut \u00een povestea lui? At\u00e2t de&#8230; trist\u0103 \u0219i \u00eentunecat\u0103! Ai fi zis c\u0103 nu asta are un om \u00een minte \u00een seara de Cr\u0103ciun.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Eh, ce \u0219tii tu, dragule? oft\u0103 el, par\u00e2nd a-mi fi auzit g\u00e2ndurile. Nu-i u\u0219or s\u0103-\u021bi p\u0103strezi melancoliile \u00een limite rezonabile c\u00e2nd e\u0219ti b\u0103tr\u00e2n, e\u0219ti singur \u00een cas\u0103 tocmai de Cr\u0103ciun \u0219i ai o fire blestemat\u0103 ca a mea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">N-am zis nimic. Nu neap\u0103rat pentru c\u0103 nu puteam s-o fac, ci pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 l\u0103sase f\u0103r\u0103 cuvinte. Ce-i puteai r\u0103spunde unui om cu un suflet at\u00e2t de am\u0103r\u00e2t, \u00eentr-o s\u0103rb\u0103toare at\u00e2t de vesel\u0103?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 S\u0103 \u0219tii c\u0103&#8230; ce scriu eu aici? Astea nu-s baliverne. Nu, astea nu-s inven\u021bii. Cel pu\u021bin \u00een mare parte.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">P\u0103ru a vrea s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i continue ideea, dar se opri, ridic\u00e2nd \u00een aer ar\u0103t\u0103torul, de parc\u0103 mi-ar fi spus mie s\u0103 tac. Porni cu greu spre buc\u0103t\u0103ria ce se afla \u00een cap\u0103tul holului \u0219i se \u00eentoarse de acolo cu un pahar cu lapte \u0219i o farfurie ciobit\u0103 pe care se aflau dou\u0103 sendvi\u0219uri; cina lui.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Vrei s\u0103 \u0219tii continuarea? Cum s-ar fi terminat?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">M\u0103 privi, parc\u0103 vr\u00e2nd s\u0103 se asigure c\u0103 eram atent, apoi continu\u0103:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Lena a murit. A m\u00e2ncat o r\u0103d\u0103cin\u0103 \u00eentreag\u0103. Problema a fost c\u0103 a m\u00e2ncat \u00eenaintea lui Vlad, \u0219i cum intoxica\u021bia cu cianur\u0103 se manifest\u0103 destul de repede, copilul nu a mai apucat s\u0103 bage nimic \u00een gur\u0103 din cauza maic\u0103-sii, care \u00ee\u0219i d\u0103dea duhul \u00een fa\u021ba lui. M\u0103 rog&#8230; datorit\u0103 maic\u0103-sii, c\u0103, la urma urmelor, asta l-a salvat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Deschise gura larg \u0219i lu\u0103 o mu\u0219c\u0103tur\u0103 mare din sendvi\u0219ul cu carne, apoi \u00eel mestec\u0103 lent, parc\u0103 vr\u00e2nd s\u0103 creeze suspans. \u00cencerc\u0103 s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i cure\u021be dantura cu limba, \u00eens\u0103 procesul se dovedi mult prea dificil, a\u0219a c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i scoase placa \u0219i o cl\u0103ti \u00een castrona\u0219ul cu ap\u0103 de l\u00e2ng\u0103 fotoliu.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 \u00cemi intr\u0103 pe dedesubt \u0219i m\u0103 doare de mor, se scuz\u0103 el. Revenind. De\u0219i nu a fost nimic sigur, a\u0219 b\u0103ga m\u00e2na-n foc c\u0103 femeia \u0219i-a dat seama c\u0103 urma s\u0103 moar\u0103 singur\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 Vlad avea s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103. Probabil c\u0103 de asta s-a \u0219i for\u021bat s\u0103 vomite dup\u0103. C\u00e2nd am intrat \u00een hambar cu copilul dup\u0103 mine, z\u0103cea \u00eentins\u0103 pe patul din f\u00e2n, \u00eenecat\u0103 \u00een vom\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Mai mu\u0219c\u0103 o dat\u0103 din sendvi\u0219, repet\u00e2nd apoi ritualul de mai \u00eenainte.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Intrase \u00een com\u0103. Sau, cel pu\u021bin, asta mi-a spus nevast\u0103-mea, dup\u0103 ce s-a repezit la ea. \u00ce\u021bi dai seama c\u0103 n-a mai rezistat p\u00e2n\u0103 la spital. \u0218i&#8230; conform doctorilor, nici n-ar fi avut vreo \u0219ans\u0103. Nenorocirea aia de legum\u0103 \u00eei adusese sf\u00e2r\u0219itul.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Lu\u0103 o gur\u0103 de lapte, apoi se \u00eentoarse spre mine, fix\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 cu privirea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Nu \u0219tiam ce vrea de la mine, dar dac\u0103 un r\u0103spuns era ceea ce a\u0219tepta, atunci nu avea s\u0103-l primeasc\u0103. Nu aveam ce s\u0103-i spun! \u00cen\u021belesesem, \u00eentr-un final, de ce se g\u00e2ndea la a\u0219a ceva tocmai de Cr\u0103ciun. Ini\u021bial am crezut c\u0103 era doar imagina\u021bia lui bolnav\u0103, dar apoi am \u00een\u021beles. Nu era fic\u021biune, toate acele lucruri care avuseser\u0103 loc, chiar se \u00eent\u00e2mplaser\u0103. \u0218i nu auzise de ele la \u0219tiri, sau mai \u0219tiu eu de unde, ci totul se \u00eent\u00e2mplase \u00een hambarul lui, \u00een familia lui, \u00een casa lui! \u00cen seara de Cr\u0103ciun!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 A murit \u0219i nevast\u0103-mea atunci, ad\u0103ug\u0103. A intrat \u00een depresie. Mi-a povestit de sc\u0103parea cu pomul de Cr\u0103ciun \u0219i de cadouri. Era convins\u0103 c\u0103 asta a determinat-o pe Lena. S-a \u00eenvinov\u0103\u021bit p\u00e2n\u0103 a murit. Nu am avut ce face, orice i-a\u0219 fi spus, g\u00e2ndul ei nu era dec\u00e2t la Vlad, copilul al c\u0103rui mam\u0103 se sinucisese \u00een ajunul Cr\u0103ciunului \u0219i care nu reu\u0219ise s\u0103-\u0219i omoare propriul fiu.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Oft\u0103 greu.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 M\u0103 \u00een\u021belegi tu acum, dragule? E greu s\u0103 fiu fericit. De\u0219i Cr\u0103ciunul face un pic mai mult pentru fiecare, \u00een final tot se limiteaz\u0103 la familie. Pentru Lena, Cr\u0103ciunul \u00eensemna Vl\u0103du\u021b. Pentru mine&#8230; atunci nu \u00eensemna nimic, dar acum&#8230; acum e Gina.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">D\u0103du peste cap restul de lapte care-i mai r\u0103m\u0103sese, revenind mai apoi cu privirea asupra mea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Nici fiic\u0103-mea nu m\u0103 mai \u00eenvesele\u0219te. Vine la mine \u00een fiecare Cr\u0103ciun \u0219i mereu par bucuros, dar mai mult pentru ea. Nu \u0219i-o aminte\u0219te pe maic\u0103-sa, iar asta o \u00eempiedic\u0103 s\u0103 fie trist\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">O spunea cu at\u00e2ta m\u00e2hnire, \u00eenc\u00e2t p\u0103rea a regreta c\u0103 fata lui nu sufer\u0103 din cauza mor\u021bii mamei sale. Dac\u0103 nu o \u0219tia \u00eendeajuns de bine \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 dup\u0103 ea \u00een fiecare Cr\u0103ciun, asta nu era ceva bun?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Presupun c\u0103 nu e ceva r\u0103u, continu\u0103, p\u0103r\u00e2nd c\u0103 \u00eemi cite\u0219te g\u00e2ndurile pentru a mia oar\u0103 \u00een acea sear\u0103. Dar sunt invidios. Vreau\u00a0<em>\u0219i eu<\/em>\u00a0s\u0103 nu mai suf\u0103r. Vreau\u00a0<em>\u0219i eu<\/em>\u00a0s\u0103 mai fiu fericit m\u0103car o dat\u0103. Sunt b\u0103tr\u00e2n, am s\u0103 mor, dar vreau s\u0103-mi amintesc \u0219i eu cum era Cr\u0103ciunul \u00eenainte de toat\u0103 tragedia asta. Eram fericit&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">A l\u0103sat propozi\u021bia \u00een aer \u0219i nu mi-am dat seama dac\u0103 a f\u0103cut-o pentru c\u0103 nu mai avea ce s\u0103 spun\u0103 sau pentru c\u0103 se auzise soneria. Se ridic\u0103 de pe fotoliu \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i t\u00e2r\u0219\u00e2i picioarele p\u00e2n\u0103 la u\u0219\u0103. A\u0219 putea jura c\u0103 l-am auzit oft\u00e2nd \u00eenainte de a o deschide.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Un chiuit lung se auzi aproape imediat, iar George \u00eencepu s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Bunicule!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Ce faci, m\u0103i, titirezule! glumi el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">De unde m\u0103 aflam eu nu puteam vedea \u00eentreaga scen\u0103, dar am auzit un \u201e<em>Uf!<\/em>\u201d \u0219i n-am putut dec\u00e2t s\u0103 presupun c\u0103 micu\u021bul se aruncase \u00een bra\u021bele bunicului s\u0103u. Dup\u0103 aceasta, o voce de femeie pluti p\u00e2n\u0103 la mine, cel mai probabil \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 lini\u0219teasc\u0103 b\u0103ie\u021belul \u00eenainte de a-l dobor\u00ee pe George.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Am adus m\u00e2ncare, tati, spuse t\u00e2n\u0103ra. Sper c\u0103 nu \u021bi-ai f\u0103cut iar ve\u0219nicele tale sendvi\u0219uri cu \u0219unc\u0103 \u0219i ou, nu? chicoti ea. Am adus m\u00e2ncare adev\u0103rat\u0103, a\u0219teapt\u0103 doar s\u0103 le aduc\u0103 Maria din ma\u0219in\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">George morm\u0103i ceva \u00een b\u0103rbie, iar fata \u00eei r\u0103spunse cu un alt chicot scurt, urmat de o b\u0103taie din palme.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 A\u0219a! \u0218i, unde m\u00e2nc\u0103m? Mi-e o foame&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Sanda, drag\u0103, a\u0219 prefera s\u0103 lu\u0103m masa \u00een sufragerie, interveni George. Am pe cineva aici \u0219i nu ar fi frumos s\u0103 \u00eel las singur.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">B\u0103tr\u00e2nul intr\u0103 primul \u00een camer\u0103, urmat de t\u00e2n\u0103ra care bolborosea ceva, mai mult pentru sine.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Dar nu poate s\u0103 vin\u0103 cu n&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Nu termin\u0103 propozi\u021bia, c\u0103ci se opri \u00een tocul u\u0219ii \u0219i m\u0103 privi lung, \u00eencruntat\u0103. Era o fat\u0103 \u00eenalt\u0103, cu tenul alb \u0219i buze ro\u0219ii. P\u0103rul \u00eei era drept \u0219i lung p\u00e2n\u0103 la umeri, vopsit \u00eentr-un s\u00e2ngeriu aprins, ce parc\u0103 str\u0103lucea \u00een lumina slab\u0103 a fl\u0103c\u0103rilor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Tati&#8230; sunt sigur\u0103 c\u0103 nu s-ar sup\u0103ra&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Nu m-a\u0219 sup\u0103ra? De unde \u0219tia ea c\u0103 nu m\u0103 deranja s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n singur \u00een timp ce ei luau masa \u00eentr-o alt\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103pere?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Din spatele fustei sale lungi ap\u0103ru un b\u0103ie\u021bel de vreo cinci ani\u0219ori a c\u0103rui fa\u021b\u0103 se lumin\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd m\u0103 v\u0103zu. \u00cei d\u0103du drumul materialului \u0219i alerg\u0103 spre mine r\u00e2njind. M\u0103 apuc\u0103 \u00eentre degetele-i mici \u0219i m\u0103 scutur\u0103 puternic, aproape d\u0103r\u00e2m\u00e2ndu-m\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Ce br\u0103du\u021b frumos! \u0218i ce globuri multe!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">B\u0103rbatul oft\u0103. \u00cemp\u0103turi h\u00e2rtia \u0219i o a\u0219ez\u0103 l\u00e2ng\u0103 candela ce se afla pe banc\u0103, l\u00e2ng\u0103 el. \u00ce\u0219i trosni degetele \u0219i \u00eencepu s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i b\u0103l\u0103ng\u0103ne piciorul drept, desen\u00e2nd nimicuri \u00een z\u0103pada deas\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 E povestea mea, \u00eencepu el. A\u00a0<em>noastr\u0103<\/em>, de fapt.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Scoase din buzunarul paltonului un glob ro\u0219u cu sclipici \u0219i \u00eel \u00eenv\u00e2rti \u00eentre degete.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 N-am putut s\u0103 vin mai devreme. Bine, teoretic\u00a0<em>puteam<\/em>, dar nu&#8230; am vrut.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">F\u0103cu o pauz\u0103 lung\u0103, oft\u00e2nd frustrat. Avea at\u00e2tea de spus, dar nu \u0219tia cum s\u0103-\u0219i organizeze ideile. Voia s\u0103-i explice, voia s\u0103-i mul\u021bumeasc\u0103, voia s\u0103 o jigneasc\u0103. Voia s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103, voia s\u0103 se descarce, voia s\u0103 o \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219eze. Dar nu \u0219tia cum.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Am aflat c\u00e2nd am ajuns la orfelinat. Da, atunci mi s-a spus ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat; cum te-ai sinucis \u0219i ai \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 omori \u0219i pe mine. Ini\u021bial am fost surprins. Apoi curios. Am \u00eentrebat de familia \u00een hambarul c\u0103reia am aflat c\u0103 locuiam \u00een momentul respectiv \u0219i atunci am aflat \u0219i de domnul George. C\u00e2nd am \u00eemplinit optsprezece ani, am plecat s\u0103-l caut. Voiam l\u0103muriri. \u0218tiai c\u0103 doamna Gina a muri\u2013 ah, pardon, \u0219tii din poveste. Da, a murit. \u021ai-am citit; s-a sim\u021bit vinovat\u0103 \u0219i asta a distrus-o.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se opri pentru c\u00e2teva secunde \u00een care \u00ee\u0219i \u0219terse lacrima ce-i \u00een\u021bepa col\u021bul ochiului, apoi relu\u0103:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 C\u00e2t te-am detestat&#8230; C\u00e2nd ai murit tu, au mai murit dou\u0103 persoane cu tine: Gina \u0219i George. Moartea nevesti-sii l-a distrus pe George. Cu greu a acceptat, dar p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 am vorbit cu el. Poate \u021bi-ai dat seama c\u0103 bradul din poveste eu eram. Presupun c\u0103 se sim\u021bea dator s\u0103 dea o explica\u021bie copilului care aproape fusese omor\u00e2t de maic\u0103-sa, femeia care locuia \u00een spatele casei lui. Mi-a zis de p\u0103\u021bania cu bradul \u0219i de discu\u021biile pe care le mai aveai cu doamna Gina, \u00een care \u00eei povesteai de copil\u0103ria ta \u0219i de casa p\u0103rin\u021bilor t\u0103i. El mi-a spus totul, c\u0103 nu aveam de unde altundeva s\u0103 aflu toate detaliile pe care le-am a\u0219ternut pe h\u00e2rtie. \u0218i presupun c\u0103, \u00eentr-un fel, te \u00een\u021beleg. \u021ai-era greu s\u0103-\u021bi vezi copilul tr\u0103ind \u00een felul \u0103la, neav\u00e2nd o copil\u0103rie nici m\u0103car pe jum\u0103tate c\u00e2t ai avut-o tu. Cu tot cu picioarele tale de vrabie, chicoti. Serios acum, ce obicei&#8230;\u00a0<em>picioare de vrabie&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Scoase din buzunar o batist\u0103 \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i sufl\u0103 nasul, \u0219terg\u00e2ndu-\u0219i lacrimile ce acum \u00eei \u0219iroiau nestingherite pe obraji.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Dar cred c\u0103 ai fi fericit\u0103 s\u0103 afli cum s-a sf\u00e2r\u0219it totul, suspin\u0103 el. Am o familie acum; o so\u021bie, doi copii. Am fost trimis la \u0219coal\u0103, liceu \u0219i chiar dac\u0103 am cam stat pe capul so\u021biei p\u00e2n\u0103 m-am mobilizat \u0219i am terminat facultatea, totul s-a sf\u00e2r\u0219it cu bine. Am f\u0103cut Politehnica, la Bucure\u0219ti, iar acum sunt inginer. \u00cen plus, \u00eemi place s\u0103 m\u0103 consider \u0219i scriitor. Am reu\u015fit s\u0103 public o nuvel\u0103 acum c\u00e2\u021biva ani \u0219i de atunci tot scriu. N-am mai scos nimic, dar mai mult pentru c\u0103 nu am mai reu\u0219it s\u0103 le termin. G\u00e2ndurile-mi fug mereu \u00een alte lumi \u0219i&#8230; r\u0103m\u00e2n neterminate.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Flutur\u0103 din m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i ridic\u0103 din umeri, p\u0103r\u00e2nd a se trezi dintr-o trans\u0103 \u00een care nu-\u0219i d\u0103duse seama c\u0103 intrase.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Oricum, am bani destui, iar familia mea nu duce lipsuri. \u0218i&#8230; din nou, presupun c\u0103 tot \u021bie trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi mul\u021bumesc \u0219i pentru asta. Sunt sigur c\u0103 ai fi preferat s\u0103 fii \u00een via\u021b\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 vezi cresc\u00e2nd, maturiz\u00e2ndu-m\u0103, dar dac\u0103 nu s-a putut, asta e.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cenv\u00e2rti globul ro\u0219u \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i privi cu coada ochiului la piatra funerar\u0103. Z\u00e2mbi.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 Te-au \u00eengropat fix l\u00e2ng\u0103 un brad.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se ridic\u0103 lent de pe banc\u0103 \u0219i p\u0103\u0219i parc\u0103 \u00een reluare p\u00e2n\u0103 aproape de mama lui. At\u00e2rn\u0103 globul \u00een brad, deasupra morm\u00e2ntului, apoi scoase din buzunar bricheta \u0219i aprinse cele dou\u0103 lum\u00e2n\u0103ri pe care le \u00eenfipsese \u00een z\u0103pad\u0103 cu c\u00e2teva ore \u00een urm\u0103. Lu\u0103 h\u00e2rtia \u00eemp\u0103turit\u0103 de pe banc\u0103 \u0219i o a\u0219ez\u0103 \u0219i pe ea \u00een pom, printre crengile copacului.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">F\u0103cu un pas \u00een spate \u0219i privi din nou la piara funerar\u0103. Scoase o \u021bigar\u0103 din pachet, o pozi\u021bion\u0103 \u00eentre buze \u0219i o aprinse. Trase apoi cu poft\u0103, umpl\u00e2ndu-\u0219i pl\u0103m\u00e2nii cu fum.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u2014 A\u0219a mam\u0103, a\u0219a fiu; doi sinuciga\u0219i. Cr\u0103ciun fericit!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>de Maria Florescu &#8220;Murmurul ne\u00eentrerupt ce \u00eemp\u00e2nzise \u00eenc\u0103perea o introdusese pe femeie \u00eentr-o stare de amor\u021beal\u0103. Mintea \u00eei fugise pe alte meleaguri, iar privirea \u00eei era fixat\u0103 de c\u00e2teva minute bune pe clan\u021ba ce str\u0103lucea constant \u00een lumina galben\u0103 a lustrei. O umbr\u0103 \u00eei \u00eentunec\u0103 privirea brusc, sco\u021b\u00e2nd-o cu for\u021ba din lumea necunoscut\u0103 \u00een care [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1297,15],"tags":[1299,1306,1115],"class_list":["post-12014","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-52","category-proza","tag-egophobia-52","tag-maria-florescu","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-37M","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12014","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12014"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12014\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12015,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12014\/revisions\/12015"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12014"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}