{"id":12218,"date":"2018-06-15T14:20:25","date_gmt":"2018-06-15T12:20:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12218"},"modified":"2018-06-15T21:23:00","modified_gmt":"2018-06-15T19:23:00","slug":"bacoviana","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12218","title":{"rendered":"Bacovian\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul George Andone Vasiliu, care-<\/em>\u0219<\/em>i zice <\/em>\u0219<\/em>i Bacovia, vine beat cri<\/em>\u021b\u0103<\/em> din ploiosul (<\/em>\u0219<\/em>i zoiosul) burg Bac\u0103u. E plouat ciuciulete <\/em>\u0219<\/em>i trist. D-na Agatha Vasiliu B\u00e2rsescu Bacovia cite<\/em>\u0219<\/em>te ceva de la poluri. C\u00e2nd \u00ee<\/em>\u0219<\/em>i vede consortul c\u0103z\u00e2nd, rec\u0103z\u00e2nd pe covoare \u0219i nemait\u0103c\u00e2nd din gur\u0103, \u00eencepe s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103 ori s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 \u00een h\u00e2, \u00een ha.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: \u0218i plou\u0103, \u0219i ninge. \u0218i cad am\u00e2ndou\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Sl\u0103be\u0219te-m\u0103! Pentru asta trebuie s\u0103 vii acas\u0103 mang\u0103? Vezi pe unde calci, c\u0103-mi murd\u0103re\u0219ti covoarele. \u0218i-n general, fii mai optimist, drag\u0103! Ce e\u0219ti a\u0219a stresat?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: \u0218i plou\u0103, e moin\u0103, noroi…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Da, plou\u0103, plou\u0103: prin acoperi\u0219, \u021bev\u0103ria curge. M-am s\u0103turat s\u0103 am toat\u0103 ziua casa plin\u0103 cu lighene! C\u0103 eu n-am b\u0103rbat \u00een cas\u0103, am poet! Ptiu! Plou\u0103 pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 \u0219arpant\u0103, pe…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: \u0218arpant\u0103, \u0219arpe-\u0219arpe \u0219erpi\u0219or, \u0219arpe b\u0103laur, cu solzii de aur, cu nou\u0103 limbe \u00eempung\u0103toare, s\u0103 te duci la ea, unde-o vei afla… \u0219erpuitur\u0103, \u0219erpulici, \u0219eptilici, \u0219eptici…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Hai, leag\u0103 c\u0103\u021beaua! M\u0103i, omule, de ce nu vrei tu s\u0103 te \u021bii de cas\u0103?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong> (cl\u0103tin\u00e2ndu-se \u0219i \u021bin\u00e2ndu-se de pere\u021bii casei): M\u0103 \u021bin de cas\u0103, m\u0103 \u021bin de cas\u0103, \u0219ase-\u0219ase poart\u0103-n cas\u0103, cas\u0103 acas\u0103, cas\u0103 acas\u0103, c\u0103cas\u0103, acas\u0103, c\u0103c\u0103stoare, acas\u0103, c\u0103c\u0103lic\u0103…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Oooof! Nu \u0219tiu ce s\u0103 m\u0103 mai fac cu tine. Vii beat\u2026<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: Beat, bat, bar, bau-bau, ba doar u, b\u0103rbat, bat barul cu Barbu. O bab\u0103 barb\u0103 are, o barb\u0103 cu bab\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Spune-mi, de ce \u021bi-s \u00eenecate cor\u0103biile? Nu-\u021bi ofer eu tot ce trebuie?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong> (\u021bin\u00e2ndu-se cu m\u00e2inile de pere\u021bi): Ninge grozav pe c\u00e2mp la abator… \u0218i s\u00e2nge cald se scurge pe canal.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Ei, na \u0219i tu! Scute\u0219te-m\u0103 cu chestiile astea morbide!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: Prin m\u0103h\u0103l\u0103li mai neagr\u0103 noaptea pare…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Pluralul lui mahala este mahalale, dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 \u0219tii, m\u0103, poetu’ lu’ pe\u0219te!<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong> (c\u0103z\u00e2nd <\/em>\u0219<\/em>i rec\u0103z\u00e2nd pe covoare<\/em>): Aud materia curg\u00e2nd…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong> (enervat\u0103<\/em>): Hai, m\u00e2n\u0103 m\u0103garul! \u021ai-am spus: Tu ai probleme psihice, m\u0103i omule!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: Te uit\u0103! A prins promoroac\u0103 \u0219i clampa.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Of, ce enervant e\u0219ti! Mai \u00eent\u00e2i c\u0103 nu se spune \u201eclamp\u0103\u201d, ca m\u00e2rlanii. E un moldovenism. Se spune clan\u021b\u0103. E\u0219ti intelectual, ce dreacu’! Al doilea, eu cred c\u0103 tu e\u0219ti bolnav cu capul, Georgic\u0103. Mergi dreac’ la un doctor s\u0103 te consulte, ca s\u0103 fii \u0219i tu \u00een r\u00e2ndul lumii!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: \u0218i s\u00e2nul t\u0103u e mai l\u0103sat.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Vai! Serios? Interesant, oare de ce s-a l\u0103sat?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>:?!!!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: \u021aii minte cum st\u0103teau \u021bon\u021boroi c\u00e2nd eram mai t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103? Ah, erau ca doi trandafira\u0219i albi \u0219i parfuma\u021bi… C\u00e2nd treceam pe la cazarm\u0103, to\u021bi ofi\u021berii se benoclau la pieptul meu!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: Metalic s-aud gorni\u0219tii, \u00een fund, la cazarm\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Ah, fanfara de la regiment… menuetul lui Pederaski, m\u0103-nnebunesc!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong> (r\u00e2de f\u0103r\u0103 sens<\/em>): Plou\u0103, plou\u0103, plou\u0103… Vreme de be\u021bie… \u0218i s-ascult pustiul… Ce melancolie!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: \u021ai-am zis c\u0103 ai probleme la mansard\u0103, drag\u0103! M\u0103car mai las\u0103 \u0219i tu alcoolul, las\u0103-l dracului pe Acosmei. Iar te-ai \u00eenfundat \u00een vreo cr\u00e2\u0219m\u0103 cu el! Parc\u0103 sunte\u021bi \u00eenh\u0103ma\u021bi, dom’le! Nu vezi? \u00cencepi s\u0103 ai n\u0103z\u0103reli, melancolie \u0219i alte \u00eembilibistroceli din astea. Spune-mi ce te mi\u0219c\u0103 pe tine?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: Cine mi\u0219c\u0103 tot pi\u0219c\u0103, mi\u0219c\u0103, mu\u0219c\u0103, musc\u0103, mu\u0219uroaie, mi\u0219iroaie, mi\u0219ma\u0219uri, mi\u0219cula\u021biuni… Mi\u0219c\u0103-mi\u0219c\u0103-mi\u0219c\u0103!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Hai, mi\u0219c\u0103!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong> (zguduie fereastra nervos<\/em>): \u021a\u00e2r\u00e2ie ploaia… \u0219i-i tare t\u00e2rziu….<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Hai, las\u0103 marafeturile! \u00cen cazul t\u0103u nu este o aliena\u021bie grav\u0103, care conduce la destructurarea eu-lui creator. E o simpl\u0103 manie a persecu\u021biei sau poate o schizofrenie banal\u0103, care se poate trata f\u0103r\u0103 probleme la orice medic psihiatru. A\u0219a c\u0103 nu ai de ce s\u0103 te temi. Au mai stat \u0219i al\u021bii \u00een c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 de for\u021b\u0103, drag\u0103, \u0219i n-au murit. Iar ni\u0219te b\u0103i reci sau ni\u0219te \u0219ocuri electrice acolo nu-\u021bi stric\u0103 niciodat\u0103. Pune un pic furtunu’ pe tine cu ap\u0103 rece ca ghea\u021ba \u0219i te \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 minte. Atuncea o s\u0103 te por\u021bi cum trebuie, dr\u0103gu\u021bule.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-ul Vasiliu<\/strong>: (zguduind fereastra \u0219i mai nervos<\/em>): Oh, m\u0103-nchid \u00een cas\u0103 ca-n sicriu… Amorul meu defunct…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 D-na Vasiliu<\/strong>: Eu amor defunct, a? Las\u0103 c\u0103-\u021bi ar\u0103t eu amor defunct. Cu v\u0103rgu\u021ba.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 Dar d-ul Vasiliu, cu iste<\/em>\u021b<\/em>imea specific\u0103 be<\/em>\u021b<\/em>ivilor, avusese grij\u0103 s\u0103 ascund\u0103 v\u0103rgu<\/em>\u021b<\/em>a c\u00e2nd intrase. Atunci d-na Vasiliu merge \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie s\u0103 caute f\u0103c\u0103le<\/em>\u021b<\/em>ul. D-ul Vasiliu profit\u0103 <\/em>\u0219<\/em>i o zbughe<\/em>\u0219<\/em>te afar\u0103. \u00cen bezn\u0103, pe un bolovan, l\u00e2ng\u0103 zid, z\u0103re<\/em>\u0219<\/em>te ni<\/em>\u0219<\/em>te excremente de c\u00e2ine fosforescente. L\u00e2ng\u0103 ele a<\/em>\u0219<\/em>teapt\u0103 poetul Acosmei <\/em>\u0219<\/em>i fumeaz\u0103. D-na Vasiliu iese afar\u0103 cu f<\/em>\u0103<\/em>c\u0103le<\/em>\u021b<\/em>ul \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, dar cei doi, um\u0103r la um\u0103r, se topiser\u0103 deja printre ni<\/em>\u0219<\/em>te scaie<\/em>\u021b<\/em>i usca<\/em>\u021b<\/em>i. Se aude doar:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 Domnii Vasiliu \u0219i Acosmei<\/strong>: H\u00e2, ha! Hi-hi-hi! H\u00e2, ha! Hi-hi-hi! Hu-hu-huuuuuuu!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cortina<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103 \u00a0\u00a0 D-ul George Andone Vasiliu, care-\u0219i zice \u0219i Bacovia, vine beat cri\u021b\u0103 din ploiosul (\u0219i zoiosul) burg Bac\u0103u. E plouat ciuciulete \u0219i trist. D-na Agatha Vasiliu B\u00e2rsescu Bacovia cite\u0219te ceva de la poluri. C\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0219i vede consortul c\u0103z\u00e2nd, rec\u0103z\u00e2nd pe covoare \u0219i nemait\u0103c\u00e2nd din gur\u0103, \u00eencepe s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103 ori s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 \u00een […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1322,15],"tags":[1324,1115,353],"class_list":["post-12218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-54","category-proza","tag-egophobia-54","tag-proza","tag-radu-parpauta"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3b4","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12218"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12219,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12218\/revisions\/12219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}