{"id":12328,"date":"2018-09-15T08:44:54","date_gmt":"2018-09-15T06:44:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12328"},"modified":"2018-09-11T22:46:58","modified_gmt":"2018-09-11T20:46:58","slug":"faci-glume-cu-niste-bieti-muritori","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12328","title":{"rendered":"Faci glume cu ni\u0219te bie\u021bi muritori"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dumnezeule degrab\u0103 \u0219i la timp v\u0103rs\u0103toriu de binecuv\u00e2nt\u0103ri<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

de Alexandru Dr\u0103g\u0103noaia<\/p>\n

-Ce schimb e\u0219ti, m\u0103?
\n-Las\u0103, e veche. Vezi c\u0103 de aici, din c\u00e2rcium\u0103, toat\u0103 ga\u0219c\u0103 mergem la ingineru’. \u00cen seara asta dezbatem. Tu vii cu chitara. Noi, \u00eentre timp facem aprovizionarea cu b\u0103utur\u0103. O s\u0103 fie mi\u0219to, o s\u0103 vezi, b\u0103ie\u021bi fini \u0219i de\u0219tep\u021bi… Menestrel ne lipse\u0219te. Vii s\u0103 ne c\u00e2n\u021bi, da’ f\u0103r\u0103 bani, s\u0103 \u0219tii, n-avem s\u0103 te pl\u0103tim.
\nC\u00e2nd i-a v\u0103zut la u\u0219\u0103, zece-doisprezece in\u0219i, ingineru’, de menestrel a \u00eentrebat prima dat\u0103.
\n-Atunci e bine. V\u0103d \u0219i fe\u021be noi. Intra\u021bi, face\u021bi-v\u0103 comozi.
\nDup\u0103 primele pahare buna dispozi\u021bie a cuprins pe toat\u0103 lumea.
\n-Domnilor, s\u0103 merge\u021bi s\u0103 fuma\u021bi pe balcon, avem un c\u00e2nt\u0103re\u021b \u00eentre noi. Omul asta a venit s\u0103 ne c\u00e2nte, nu s\u0103 se \u00eemboln\u0103veasc\u0103 de pl\u0103m\u00e2ni, \u00eencerc\u0103 gazda s\u0103 organizeze cumva.
\nApoi c\u0103tre c\u00e2nt\u0103re\u021b:
\n-Maestre, ce avem pe lista de songuri?
\n-M-am g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 “Maria T\u0103nase” s-ar potrivi, dintre c\u00e2ntecele ei mai pu\u021bin cunoscute.
\n-P\u0103i, ce s\u0103 mai lungim a\u0219teptarea, bag\u0103 s\u0103 te-auzim.
\n-“Fric\u0103 mi-e c\u0103 mor ca m\u00e2ine”.
\nO palm\u0103 lovi corzile chitarei apoi o voce puternic\u0103, gutural\u0103. La sf\u00e2r\u0219it, c\u00e2teva aplauze.
\n-Eu cred \u00een Dumnezeu \u0219i nu mi-e fric\u0103 de moarte, se auzi din col\u021bul camerei.
\n-Iaca, \u00eencepe meciul, zise inginerul.
\n-…\u0218i uite c\u0103 de c\u00e2nd ne \u00eent\u00e2lnim aici niciun ateu nu s-a l\u0103sat convins s\u0103 treac\u0103 la credin\u021b\u0103, adoug\u0103 unu’.
\n– Domnul st\u0103 la u\u0219\u0103 \u0219i bate, uneori chiar d\u0103 buzna. A\u0219 povesti cazul meu…
\n\u00centoarser\u0103 capul spre cel care vorbise:
\n-S-auzim, s-auzim.
\nPovestitorul \u00ee\u0219i turn\u0103 vin \u0219i, \u00eenainte de a-l da peste cap, cu m\u00e2na dreapt\u0103 f\u0103cu semnul crucii deasupra paharului, roti privirea peste ascult\u0103tori \u0219i \u00eencepu:
\n-\u00cen c\u00e2teva vorbe: \u0218coala din vremea mea m-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u0103 Dumnezeu nu exist\u0103, etc, etc. Din lecturi, din experien\u021ba de via\u021b\u0103, a\u0219a am crezut p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eencoace c\u00e2nd mi-a murit tat\u0103l. Dup\u0103 \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare, nop\u021bi \u00eentregi am fost b\u00e2ntuit de spiritul lui. Am uitat s\u0103 v\u0103 spun, tata a fost un om r\u0103u \u0219i p\u0103c\u0103tos, se uita \u00een sus \u0219i \u00eenjura direct…
\n– \u0102la b\u0103rbat adev\u0103rat, \u0219u\u0219oti cineva. C\u00e2\u021biva r\u00e2ser\u0103.
\n-…Numai c\u0103 la trecerea dincolo cred c\u0103 i-a fost tare greu. Eu a\u0219a l-am sim\u021bit. Nu pot s\u0103 descriu \u00een cuvinte. C\u00e2nd \u00eencercam s\u0103 adorm veneau peste mine mul\u021bime de vaiete, de gemete, valuri, valuri. Nu \u0219tiu cum, dar sim\u021beam c\u0103 e ceva \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu el, cu st\u0103rile prin care trecea. \u00cemi transmitea mie totul, parc\u0103 ar fi cerut ajutor. Mi-a venit \u00een minte rug\u0103ciunea \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat\u0103 de copil \u0219i am \u00eenceput s\u0103 spun “Tat\u0103l nostru”. Cu din\u021bii str\u00e2n\u0219i o repetam \u00eentruna. \u00cencet-\u00eencet se \u00eent\u00e2mpla ceva, zbuciumul acela se stingea \u0219i puteam s\u0103 adorm. Atunci am v\u0103zut puterea rug\u0103ciunii \u0219i am \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi pun \u00eentreb\u0103ri.
\n-Eu cred c\u0103 Dumnezeu este crea\u021bia materiei, se b\u0103g\u0103 \u00een discu\u021bie cel c\u0103ruia i se zice Mo\u0219u’. Dumnezeu este efectul secundar al materiei. C\u00e2nd materie vie nu va mai fi, va disp\u0103rea \u0219i Efectul Secundar, conchise el.
\n– Da, pare o mare \u0219mecherie. Am \u0219i eu o teorie, zise ingineru’: fiecare lucru are dumnezeii m\u0103-sii de unde \u0219i \u00eenjur\u0103tura aferent\u0103.
\n-Sigur exist\u0103 \u0219i un dumnezeu al ho\u021bilor, un dumnezeu degrab\u0103 \u0219i la timp v\u0103rs\u0103toriu de binecuv\u00e2nt\u0103ri: Doamne ajut\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 nu m\u0103 prind\u0103! \u00ee\u0219i mai d\u0103du unu’ cu p\u0103rerea.
\nAu mai adus b\u0103utur\u0103 de la rece, au mai ascultat c\u00e2te un c\u00e2ntec, au \u021binut-o tot a\u0219a p\u00e2n\u0103, h\u0103t, dup\u0103 miezul nop\u021bii.
\nE mult timp de c\u00e2nd, la o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, la dou\u0103, ga\u0219ca se adun\u0103 \u00een felul acesta pentru discu\u021bii aprinse, pentru a viziona la televizor meciuri de fotbal ori pentru a asculta muzic\u0103 de pe “viniluri”. C\u0103 tot sunt \u00eentre ei care mai beau un pahar \u00een plus, s-a luat hot\u0103r\u00e2rea ca dup\u0103 fiecare \u00eent\u00e2lnire s\u0103 se plece abia diminea\u021b\u0103. Mai de-a curmezi\u0219ul pe patul din camer\u0103, mai pe saltele pe jos, se \u00eempacheteaz\u0103 care cum poate, nimeni nu face nazuri.
\nTotul este aproape de final, se trag concluziile. Se preg\u0103tesc de somn. Se stinge lumina \u0219i, \u00een scurt timp, fiecare pe limba lui, \u00eencep s\u0103 sfor\u0103ie.
\nS\u0103 fi trecut o or\u0103, poate dou\u0103, \u00een \u00eentuneric, o persoan\u0103 se ridic\u0103 de pe pat. Un pas, doi – la picioarele lui, ceilal\u021bi, alinia\u021bi ca sardelele – se descheie la \u0219li\u021b, scoate. \u0219i \u00eencepe s\u0103 urineze.
\n-Ce dracu faci, b\u0103? B\u0103, n-auzi? Aprinde frate becul, e unu’care se pi\u0219e pe noi.
\nAu s\u0103rit ca ar\u0219i.
\n-B\u0103 be\u021bivule, a\u0219a faci \u0219i la tine, te pi\u0219i \u00een mijlocul casei?
\nL-au luat pe sus, l-au dat afar\u0103 din apartament.
\nDiminea\u021ba, la cafea, gazda:
\n-Domnilor, mi-e ru\u0219ine dar trebuie s\u0103 v\u0103 spun: mi-a disp\u0103rut o sum\u0103 mare de bani.
\n-Nu se poate, a\u0219a ceva nu s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat niciodat\u0103, se auzi. Ce situa\u021bie de rahat.
\n-V\u0103 cunosc pe aproape fiecare. Totu\u0219i nu-mi explic.
\n– Dar pe \u0103la care azi-noapte a dat s\u0103 se pi\u0219e pe noi, de c\u00e2nd \u00eel \u0219ti\u021bi? suger\u0103 cineva o pist\u0103.
\n-Nu-l \u0219tiu. E prima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd vine. Cine l-a adus? Cu cine a venit?
\nPrivesc unii la al\u021bii.
\n-Nu-l cunoa\u0219te nimeni pe dobitoc? Cum dracu’ a intrat \u0103la \u00een casa mea?<\/p>\n

– Cred c\u0103 din c\u00e2rcium\u0103 s-a luat dup\u0103 noi.<\/p>\n

\n

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Dumnezeule degrab\u0103 \u0219i la timp v\u0103rs\u0103toriu de binecuv\u00e2nt\u0103ri de Alexandru Dr\u0103g\u0103noaia -Ce schimb e\u0219ti, m\u0103? -Las\u0103, e veche. Vezi c\u0103 de aici, din c\u00e2rcium\u0103, toat\u0103 ga\u0219c\u0103 mergem la ingineru’. \u00cen seara asta dezbatem. Tu vii cu chitara. Noi, \u00eentre timp facem aprovizionarea cu b\u0103utur\u0103. O s\u0103 fie mi\u0219to, o s\u0103 vezi, b\u0103ie\u021bi fini \u0219i de\u0219tep\u021bi… […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1340,15],"tags":[1227,1342,1115],"class_list":["post-12328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-55","category-proza","tag-alexandru-draganoaia","tag-egophobia-55","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3cQ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12328"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12329,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12328\/revisions\/12329"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}