{"id":12442,"date":"2018-12-15T08:28:22","date_gmt":"2018-12-15T06:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12442"},"modified":"2018-12-15T00:29:55","modified_gmt":"2018-12-14T22:29:55","slug":"poems-by-gale-acuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12442","title":{"rendered":"poems by Gale Acuff"},"content":{"rendered":"

All<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If I loved Jesus any more than I<\/p>\n

loved God wouldn\u2019t that be like adultery<\/p>\n

–idolatry<\/em>\u00a0I mean, at Sunday School<\/p>\n

Miss Hooker\u2019s my teacher and she swears God<\/p>\n

and Jesus are one-and-the-same so how<\/p>\n

can they be two as well and Mother says<\/p>\n

after a glass of Manischewitz or<\/p>\n

a cup, really, since they don\u2019t shatter so<\/p>\n

easily, she said that she and Father<\/p>\n

are\u00a0two hearts beating each to each<\/em>\u00a0and then<\/p>\n

she sighed, I think it\u2019s what\u2019s they call a sigh,<\/p>\n

and also one soul joined in\u00a0wedded bliss<\/em><\/p>\n

and then she fell asleep so I couldn\u2019t<\/p>\n

ask her what the Hell\u00a0bliss<\/em>\u00a0means but Father<\/p>\n

when he finally got home told me that<\/p>\n

bliss<\/em>\u00a0means\u00a0a happiness damn-near divine<\/em>,<\/p>\n

I think he must\u2019ve been quoting a poem or some<\/p>\n

favorite beer commercial, his, not mine, I<\/p>\n

don\u2019t drink, I\u2019m only 10, I don\u2019t drink much<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

but sometimes Father\u2019s Falstaff when he\u2019s not<\/p>\n

looking or is resting his eyes, his way<\/p>\n

of saying that the\u00a0Game of the Week<\/em>\u00a0is<\/p>\n

dull, and maybe I\u2019ll finish off Mother\u2019s<\/p>\n

wine, if that\u2019s what you call it, better drink<\/p>\n

it cold or it goes down like 44<\/p>\n

which, if you really want to know, will work<\/p>\n

in a pinch and they don\u2019t sell alcohol<\/p>\n

to ten-year-old boys and sometimes I think<\/p>\n

that if there really is a God, not that<\/p>\n

there\u2019s not but work with me here, if there\u2019s<\/p>\n

a God then ten-year-old boys could do most<\/p>\n

anything they wanted to–Hell, make that<\/p>\n

just plain\u00a0anything<\/em>, there\u2019s your Perfection<\/p>\n

and Paradise and Heaven-on-Earth and<\/p>\n

Eden all in one total package but<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

now back to bliss: then Father said, You\u2019ve been<\/em><\/p>\n

talking to your mother again<\/em>\u00a0and I<\/p>\n

said\u00a0Yes sir, I think she gets lonely all<\/em><\/p>\n

alone all day<\/em>\u00a0and he said\u00a0Well, she\u2019s not<\/em><\/p>\n

all alone\u00a0<\/em>all\u00a0day, you\u2019re home from school by<\/em><\/p>\n

three o\u2019clock<\/em>\u00a0(maybe it was the numbers<\/p>\n

he spoke, 3:00)–like I say, the world\u2019s<\/p>\n

not perfect but maybe that\u2019s not all bad,<\/p>\n

if Heaven\u2019s what they swear it is at church<\/p>\n

I\u2019d get bored with it really PDQ<\/p>\n

but anyway Father said I\u2019ll look in<\/p>\n

on her so he went back to their bedroom<\/p>\n

and I went outside to play but didn\u2019t,<\/p>\n

I sat on the front porch and instead of<\/p>\n

counting cars or moving vans or even<\/p>\n

only pickup trucks I counted drivers<\/p>\n

which pretty much covers everyone but<\/p>\n

I could\u2019ve gotten the same results if<\/p>\n

I\u2019d just counted vehicles instead but<\/p>\n

somehow it isn\u2019t quite the same, something\u2019s<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

missing, they don\u2019t tally up in a way<\/p>\n

that says the world is round because it\u2019s round<\/p>\n

enough. What more could you not want to know?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Brave<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve been dead before–Miss Hooker says that<\/p>\n

when I die I go to either Heaven<\/p>\n

or Hell but dead is dead so I’m not scared<\/p>\n

or at least I won’t let her see it, I<\/p>\n

love her and want her to marry me when<\/p>\n

I’m old enough, I’m 10, and she’s still not<\/p>\n

too old, she’s 25, and if she thinks<\/p>\n

I’m the bravest little boy she ever<\/p>\n

met and later the bravest teenager<\/p>\n

and still later the bravest young adult<\/p>\n

then she’s bound to go for me, even fall<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

in love, the kind that makes for babies, I<\/p>\n

don’t know how yet but I expect to learn<\/p>\n

and when I do know almost everything<\/p>\n

that God does, except for all about death<\/p>\n

but on the other hand I was nowhere<\/p>\n

before I was born and don’t remember<\/p>\n

many of the details but how can death<\/p>\n

be worse, just another beginning but<\/p>\n

on the other side of life? I can’t wait<\/p>\n

to talk to God about how He gives us<\/p>\n

too many mysteries to solve and no<\/p>\n

one has at least until they’re dead and that’s<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

cheating. But if I go to Hell instead<\/p>\n

I’ll give Satan what God has given me, I<\/p>\n

mean the bad stuff–I’ll hit him where we live.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n


\nPregnant<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At our church folks believe that Jesus died<\/p>\n

so that when we do we really don’t, in<\/p>\n

-stead we go to Heaven because that’s what<\/p>\n

God wants and what’s the word that Miss Hooker<\/p>\n

uses, it\u00a0reconciles\u00a0<\/em>humanity<\/p>\n

and God and\u00a0humanity\u00a0<\/em>means men and<\/p>\n

women and girls and boys, too, but my buds<\/p>\n

who go to other churches say that we’re<\/p>\n

wrong, so wrong,\u00a0all\u00a0<\/em>wrong, it doesn’t matter<\/p>\n

that Jesus was crucified if we don’t<\/p>\n

believe that He’s the Son of God and some<\/p>\n

-times, I confess, I don’t know what the Hell<\/p>\n

to believe and sometimes I believe it<\/p>\n

all and not just the Christian religion<\/p>\n

but all types of it and even other<\/p>\n

religions, too, maybe they’re all true and<\/p>\n

maybe one day when I grow up, I’m 10<\/p>\n

now, or even if I’m still a kid in<\/p>\n

-side, inside of me I mean, I’ll start my<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

own religion, it’ll preach that no one<\/p>\n

is correct, no one religion but for<\/p>\n

that matter no one person is, either,<\/p>\n

there’s some truth in everything and that seems<\/p>\n

reasonable to me but wouldn’t it<\/p>\n

be funny if I got crucified for<\/p>\n

that and even funnier if I called<\/p>\n

on God like Jesus did but He didn’t<\/p>\n

call back, I mean that God helped me not be<\/p>\n

-cause I betrayed Him the way some people<\/p>\n

did me and that’s what nailed me up there, to<\/p>\n

the Cross that is? I mean that I can’t fig<\/p>\n

-ure out religion, all I know is that<\/p>\n

one day I’ll die and maybe find out what’s<\/p>\n

what but maybe then it’ll be too damned<\/p>\n

late, speaking of funny, and if I knew<\/p>\n

the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but that<\/p>\n

right now, in this life I mean, dead I’d be<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

already. Whew. After Sunday School I<\/p>\n

hit Miss Hooker with it but she rolled her<\/p>\n

eyes and finally whispered from her big<\/p>\n

chair\u00a0Gale, you’re too young to worry about<\/em><\/p>\n

such things, go home and change your clothes and have<\/em><\/p>\n

dinner and then take a nap or go out<\/em><\/p>\n

-side and play or both or even neither<\/em><\/p>\n

but God wouldn’t be God if He let you<\/em><\/p>\n

drive yourself crazy, He loves you too much<\/em><\/p>\n

and so do I<\/em>, and then she kissed me right on<\/p>\n

my forehead, I flinched a little and shut<\/p>\n

my eyes, it was kind of the kiss of death<\/p>\n

you might say and when I’m actually<\/p>\n

dead one day I’ll know exactly why but<\/p>\n

as for now I think that Miss Hooker be<\/p>\n

-trayed me and if the big Cross on<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

the wall of our sanctuary wasn’t<\/p>\n

so high off the ground, the floor anyway,<\/p>\n

I’d climb it and assume my position<\/p>\n

and I wanted to tell Miss Hooker so<\/p>\n

but I was afraid that she might kiss me<\/p>\n

again and maybe that I’d kiss back and<\/p>\n

then she might get with child. I’m still in school.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s like the world’s a puzzle and you try<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

to put it all together\u00a0but it is<\/p>\n

already. Did you do it right? Does this<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

piece fit? Check the front of the box. Picture<\/p>\n

what it will be because that’s how it is<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and if it doesn’t fit you can’t force it,<\/p>\n

which is what I tried to do when I was<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

younger, parents, siblings, and friends trying<\/p>\n

to show me how to match edge with edge.\u00a0No,<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

that’s not right, Gale. That’s not going to work.<\/em><\/p>\n

See? They don’t belong together, so try<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

another, or two more different ones. If<\/em><\/p>\n

they’re the same color, for example, they<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

belong together.\u00a0<\/em>What’s\u00a0for example<\/em><\/p>\n

mean?\u00a0Nevermind. You’re too young to know.<\/em>\u00a0I’m<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

not too young to know.\u00a0He’s right, he’s not too<\/em><\/p>\n

young. He’ll have to learn sometime, so show him<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

again. No one’s getting any younger.<\/em><\/p>\n

Better to explain now.<\/em>\u00a0Hands are moving<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

across the table. In one corner there’s<\/p>\n

the sun. And green\u00a0by me, which must be grass.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh-h-h. But there’s some blue, ocean or sky,<\/p>\n

floating in the center of the frame.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A hand brings another\u00a0shape to it. Still<\/p>\n

don’t know but at least they go together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How many pieces in this puzzle? Five<\/p>\n

hundred? That’s a heap. I can do the math,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

one bit at a time, and still we’re not close<\/p>\n

to being done.\u00a0Well<\/em>, a voice says, that’s not<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

the point<\/em>. What\u00a0is\u00a0<\/em>the point, I ask. Uh, what<\/p>\n

does\u00a0point\u00a0<\/em>mean?\u00a0I mean it’s not what we want,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

he says. What\u00a0do\u00a0<\/em>we want, I ask. Just why<\/p>\n

are we doing this if not to finish<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

eventually?\u00a0Eventually<\/em>,<\/p>\n

they repeat, laughing.\u00a0That’s a right big word,<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

young man. Good for you.\u00a0Eventually,<\/em><\/p>\n

we say as one. It’s a good word. If we<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

don’t want to finish why did we begin?<\/p>\n

Like fishing<\/em>, someone says.\u00a0You might catch one<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

but if you don’t you’ve still had a fine time.<\/em><\/p>\n

So have the fish, I say. Laughter. Why fish<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

if not to catch?\u00a0It passes time<\/em>, one says.<\/p>\n

It’s fun. And anyway you already<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

know what it looks like<\/em>. The fish, you mean? If<\/p>\n

I don’t catch\u00a0him how will I know what he<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

looks like?\u00a0No, no<\/em>, they laugh.\u00a0The puzzle. You<\/em><\/p>\n

already knew how it looked when you looked<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

at the box but that doesn’t stop you from<\/em><\/p>\n

putting it together.\u00a0<\/em>It don’t help me,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

neither, I cry.\u00a0But it’s only a game,<\/em><\/p>\n

they say. Only a game. It’s fun. Oh boy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All   If I loved Jesus any more than I loved God wouldn\u2019t that be like adultery –idolatry\u00a0I mean, at Sunday School Miss Hooker\u2019s my teacher and she swears God<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1356,77],"tags":[1357,1123,1366],"class_list":["post-12442","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-56","category-english","tag-egophobia-56","tag-english","tag-gale-acuff"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3eG","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12442","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12442"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12442\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12443,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12442\/revisions\/12443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}