{"id":12802,"date":"2019-10-30T00:56:24","date_gmt":"2019-10-29T22:56:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12802"},"modified":"2019-10-30T00:56:24","modified_gmt":"2019-10-29T22:56:24","slug":"codosie-cu-crotalie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12802","title":{"rendered":"Codo\u0219ie cu crotalie"},"content":{"rendered":"

[sau nu amesteca orgasmul cu sexul]<\/strong><\/p>\n

de Emilian Ghea\u021b\u0103<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cu T\u0103r\u00e2\u0163\u0103 eram cel mai bun prieten de un cincinal bun. Am renun\u0163at s\u0103-i sucesc g\u00e2tul c\u00e2nd l-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit pentru prima oar\u0103 tren\u00e2nd \u00eencol\u0103cit \u00een jurul piciorului meu, implor\u00e2nd cu ardoare b\u0103garea \u00een seam\u0103. \u00cen multe am mai c\u0103lcat \u00een via\u0163a mea…<\/p>\n

\u00cen fine, am acceptat s\u0103-l t\u00e2r\u0103sc dup\u0103 mine \u015fi s\u0103 concre\u015ftem p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd moartea sau ceva mai pu\u0163in eidetic avea s\u0103 ne, pardon de expresie. \u00cen fond, ce mare lucru s\u0103 \u00eencap\u0103 \u00eentotdeauna dou\u0103 beri \u00een locul uneia? Deci iat\u0103 cum te po\u0163i alege de bun\u0103-voie cu o coad\u0103 unduitoare \u015fi versatil\u0103.<\/p>\n

Nu m\u0103 pot pl\u00e2nge. Dincolo de nervii pe care mi-i provoca prin st\u0103ruin\u0163a sa \u00eentr-ale sf\u0103to\u015feniei cu privire la tot ce puteam s\u0103 mi\u015fc \u015fi mai ales la ce nici nu \u00eemi propuneam a mi\u015fca, puteam oric\u00e2nd s\u0103 \u00eemi v\u0103rs n\u0103duful pe pielea lui fetid\u0103 de tigoare insidioas\u0103 exoftalmic\u0103 ce era, mama lui de heboid subversiv famelic \u015fi melofob! Unde-mi e\u015fti, execrabil rahat revolut, cu polu\u0163iile tale enervante \u015fi horp\u0103ielile tale exasperante (chiar, oare ce era dac\u0103 tr\u0103geai \u015fi tu berea ca noi to\u0163i, cu demnitate obez\u0103?), s\u0103 mi te excoriez ni\u0163el cu bri\u015fca pe care mi-ai f\u0103cut-o cadou de ziua mea? \u015etii ce? Euribiont \u015fi eurihalin e m\u0103-ta! Dar, altfel, era b\u0103iat bun.<\/p>\n

Nu pot s\u0103 nu m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc cu drag \u015fi cu nostalgie la serile noastre burl\u0103ce\u015fti, \u00een care disp\u0103ream total din aceast\u0103 lume \u015fi valsam cu perechi iluzorii de plete mov-alb\u0103strii pe cascadele \u00een trepte din bere curcubeic\u0103 ce ne \u015ferpuiau \u00een ne\u015ftire prin m\u0103runtaie \u015fi erau s\u0103 ne pun\u0103 cone\u0163 de mai multe ori dec\u00e2t sunt dispus s\u0103 num\u0103r. Adev\u0103rul e c\u0103 nu \u0163inea la b\u0103utur\u0103. Cum nici eu, de altfel. Avantaj noi, c\u0103ci ie\u015feam \u00eentotdeauna mai ieftin. Oricum, era\u00a0 mi\u015fto de tot, dar n-am s\u0103 m\u0103 apuc acum s\u0103 compun un panegiric prieteniei masculine la marginea homosexualit\u0103\u0163ii zoofile, \u00een care abund\u0103 miturile esen\u0163iale. T\u0103r\u00e2\u0163\u0103, la urma urmei, era un \u015farpe de cas\u0103, negricios-verzuliu, f\u0103r\u0103 nici un pic de venin, f\u0103r\u0103 amploare, f\u0103r\u0103 personalitate, iar \u00een generozitatea sa naiv-comunistoid\u0103, \u00een\u0163elepciunea popular\u0103 i-a confec\u0163ionat \u015fi o ie a compensa\u0163iei, dot\u00e2ndu-l cu nu se \u015ftie ce atribute favorabile, c\u0103 doar se \u015ftie c\u0103 nu-i bine s\u0103 omori \u015farpele casei, nu? Doar n-o s\u0103 m\u0103 invidia\u0163i acum pentru o prietenie impecabil\u0103 pe care am avut-o cu un \u015farpe banal, complexat de pove\u015ftile cu anaconde! Ca s\u0103 v\u0103 lini\u015ftesc, v\u0103 spun \u015fi ce mai f\u0103cea: cum \u00eei pl\u0103cea s\u0103 doarm\u0103 \u00eentr-un lighean cu t\u0103r\u00e2\u0163e, c\u0103 de-acolo i-am \u015fi dat numele \u0103sta \u015fugub\u0103\u0163, numai ce-l apuca \u015fi \u00ee\u015fi umplea gura cu c\u00e2t mai mult\u0103 t\u0103r\u00e2\u0163\u0103 din aceasta \u015fi m\u0103 stropea de sus p\u00e2n\u0103 jos, fie zi, fie noapte, fie murdar, fie proasp\u0103t aspirat pe jos, fie meci, fie ontologie culinar\u0103 la televizor, dup\u0103 care se t\u0103v\u0103lea \u015fi se pi\u015fa pe el de r\u00e2s, de eram nevoit s\u0103-i schimb a\u015fternutul, s\u0103 nu prind\u0103 dracului o salpingoovarit\u0103, c\u0103 la indefini\u0163ii \u0103\u015ftia te po\u0163i a\u015ftepta la orice\u2026<\/p>\n

Acum, \u00eentre noi fie vorba, marea problem\u0103 a lui T\u0103r\u00e2\u0163\u0103 era lipsa unei gagici stabile, sau m\u0103car a unei gagici periodice, ori a unei gagici ocazionale, dac\u0103 nu chiar a unei gagici \u00een general, oric\u00e2nd \u015fi oricum. \u015ei \u00een ciuda acestei st\u0103ri de perpetuu sejur marin\u0103resc pe uscat, se g\u0103sea \u00een orice moment dispus s\u0103 m\u0103 consilieze, s\u0103 m\u0103 critice, s\u0103 \u00eemi \u201earanjeze\u201d cu ro\u015fcata aia \u0163\u00e2fnoas\u0103 sau cu bruneta aia cu \u0163\u00e2\u0163e mari, direct propor\u0163ionale cu gradul de arogan\u0163\u0103, c\u0103 \u201e\u015ftia el cum trebe operat\u201d, c\u0103 avea o tehnic\u0103 irezistibil\u0103. \u015ei nu numai c\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eembr\u00e2ncea \u00een penibil ori de c\u00e2te ori se g\u0103sea prin preajm\u0103 vreuna bun\u0103, de o \u015ftergeam f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 pl\u0103tesc consuma\u0163ia \u015fi cu riscul unor \u015futuri \u00een curul meu gras, cu el \u00eencol\u0103cit \u00een jurul bra\u0163ului meu transpirat explic\u00e2ndu-mi unde mai aveam de lucrat la treaba cu \u201egagica\u201d, dar \u00eemi \u0163inea interminabile teorii despre via\u0163a amoroas\u0103 s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 \u00een situa\u0163ii mai mult dec\u00e2t inoportune. Nu puteam s\u0103 \u00eenfund \u015fi eu buda lini\u015ftit diminea\u0163a, c\u0103 numai ce se strecura pe sub u\u015f\u0103 \u015fi, lu\u00e2nd o pozi\u0163ie pansiv\u0103 (da, \u015ftiu c\u0103 \u015ferpii au miros numai \u00een limb\u0103, dar el vorbea pu\u0163in ciudat, \u0163in\u00e2ndu-\u015fi gura aproape \u00eenchis\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 a scoate limba aia gre\u0163oas\u0103, cam cum vorbesc doamnele proasp\u0103t rujate, cu buzele \u0163uguiate), se pornea pe perorat:<\/p>\n

– Dac\u0103 un individ mai \u00een v\u00e2rsst\u0103 dec\u00e2t mine are o via\u0163\u0103 ssexual\u0103 mai bogat\u0103 \u015f\u015fi mai fructuoass\u0103 dec\u00e2t a mea, faptul c\u0103 eu ssunt mai t\u00e2n\u0103r nu consstituie o sscuz\u0103. \u015e\u015fi eu a\u015f\u015f putea ss-o fac \u015f\u015fi sspiritele-mi ssunt martore c\u0103 a\u015f\u015f vrea. Dar vezi, vina tot pe desstin cade. Ssunt imperfect. Iar un b\u0103tr\u00e2n cu assemenea performan\u0163e esste mult-mai-mult-dec\u00e2t-perfectul.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd m\u0103 puneam s\u0103 \u00eemi pr\u0103jesc ni\u015fte p\u00e2ine baghet\u0103, ca s-o frec cu usturoi \u015fi s-o ung cu untur\u0103 de ra\u0163\u0103, m\u0103 privea din paharul cu picior \u00eenalt, singurul r\u0103mas din setul de \u015fase de la bunica:<\/p>\n

– C\u00e2t am urm\u0103rit dou\u0103 picioare, a fost ssublim. C\u00e2nd \u00eenss\u0103 ss-au f\u0103cut mai multe, mi-am cam pierdut direc\u0163ia… m\u0103i, ussturoiul sse pune egal pe toat\u0103 felia, nu \u00een buc\u0103\u0163i… Deci ca ss\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i la un sstandard ridicat de via\u0163\u0103, c\u0103ci da, cel mai dificil e ss\u0103 te men\u0163ii dup\u0103 ce ai ajunss acolo, poart\u0103-te \u015f\u015fi ac\u0163ioneaz\u0103 ca \u015f\u015fi cum \u00een orice ssecund\u0103 ar putea ss\u0103 vin\u0103 Claudia Sschiffer \u015f\u015fi ss\u0103-\u015f\u015fi ofere sserviciile pentru un posst de… guvernant\u0103 \u00een sslujba ta. \u015e\u015fi tu ss\u0103 o po\u0163i refuza elegant.<\/p>\n

Sp\u0103rgeam veioza cu abajur c\u00e2nd Steaua pierdea din nou la 11 metri \u00een fa\u0163a unei echipe mult mai slabe \u015fi mai \u00eempr\u0103\u015ftiate \u015fi care nu, nu \u00ee\u015fi dorise mai mult victoria, dar nu f\u0103r\u0103 a lua aminte la coada lui f\u0103r\u0103 stare, care bifa aerul \u00een semn de exclamare peltic:<\/p>\n

– \u00cen ziua de asst\u0103zi \u015f\u015fi p\u0103ss\u0103rile zboar\u0103 mai pe jos \u2013 care \u00eenc\u0103 mai zboar\u0103. Dac\u0103 vrei ss\u0103 vezi un pi\u0163igoi zglobiu \u00eenvesselindu-sse de mama focului c\u00e2nd confund\u0103 un mu\u015f\u015fchi verde-g\u0103lbui cu o femel\u0103, nu mai trebuie ss\u0103-\u0163i ridici b\u0103rbia \u015fi ss\u0103-l cau\u0163i printre ramuri, ci ss\u0103 fii atent ss\u0103 nu calci pe el.<\/p>\n

Deschidea u\u015fa de la baie c\u00e2nd eram sub du\u015f \u015fi \u00eemi periam inssisstent (pfui!, lua-l-ar, c\u0103 am \u00een minte numai botul lui \u0163uguiat care nu putea nici boxat zilnic s\u0103 se rezume la un singur s, decent) coapsele, subliniind superior:<\/p>\n

– Eu nu \u00eemi \u00eenchid niciodat\u0103 u\u015f\u015fa la baie c\u00e2nd fac du\u015f\u015f. N-am eu norocul ss\u0103 vin\u0103 cineva ss\u0103 m\u0103 fure… Nu m\u0103 tem! \u015e\u015fi cine, m\u0103 rog frumoss, ar dori ss\u0103 m\u0103 fure? \u015e\u015ftiu \u015f\u015fi eu… Oricine! De la Z\u00e2na Zorilor la Jum\u0103tate-de-Om-C\u0103lare-pe-Jum\u0103tate-de-Iepure-\u015echiop!<\/p>\n

P\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd ne-am trezit \u00eentr-o sear\u0103 \u00eentr-un bar cochet, cur\u0103\u0163el \u015fi discret, cu funk psihedelic din anii \u201970, cu logicele dou\u0103 beri (mai scumpici, de data aceea) sub nas, cu obi\u015fnuitele v\u0103ic\u0103reli care constituie esen\u0163a seac\u0103 a burl\u0103ciei, cu noi \u015fi noi, de vechi ce erau, puseuri de orgoliu \u00een meniu \u015fi cu un obraz neras la mine \u015fi o piele proasp\u0103t\u0103 \u00een cazul amicului meu n\u0103p\u00e2rlit. Evident, \u00eembr\u0103carea unui costum nou se cuvine \u00eentotdeauna s\u0103rb\u0103torit\u0103. Iar \u00een acel bar retro nu eram singurii desperechea\u0163i. Mda, uite c\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 \u015fi ro\u015fcata aceea \u0163\u00e2fnoas\u0103 avea \u015ferpoaica ei frustrat\u0103. Da, dar cobr\u0103, b\u0103i, m\u0103car cu un alt pedigree dec\u00e2t tine, jerpelitule! Oare cum i se \u00eencol\u0103ce\u015fte \u015fi pe unde? Mda, ai vrea s\u0103 \u015ftii, nu? Recunosc c\u0103 eu am \u00eenceput h\u00e2rjoana. I-am ridicat mingea la fileu. Inevitabil:<\/p>\n

– \u015e\u015fi zici c\u0103 le ur\u0103\u015f\u015fti pe femei? Da, bun… Frumoss, foarte frumoss, ce ss\u0103 zic… Aici e un punct \u00een pluss pentru tine; e de apreciat. Assta esste foarte bine! Dar vezi tu, dac\u0103 le ur\u0103\u015f\u015fti, ceea ce \u00eemi creeaz\u0103 o sstare de fericire ssublim\u0103 \u015f\u015fi de ssperan\u0163\u0103, le dai totu\u015f\u015fi putere, foarte mare putere. Pe assta sse \u015f\u015fi bazeaz\u0103 ele. Ignor\u0103-le \u015f\u015fi or ss\u0103 sse ssufoce \u00een propria lor \u00eeng\u00e2mfare.<\/p>\n

\u00cencheind acea bere scump\u0103 destul de p\u0103gubos, dintr-o ultim\u0103 sorbitur\u0103 prelung\u0103, l-am apucat ferm de obrazul str\u00e2mt, \u015fifon\u00e2ndu-i pielicica nou-nou\u0163\u0103 \u015fi scutur\u00e2ndu-l vag ofticat, dar cu un proiect fezabil la baz\u0103, \u015fi i-am urlat:<\/p>\n

– B\u0103i pul\u0103, tu vrei s\u0103 fu\u0163i azi?!!<\/p>\n

Speriat, \u00eenghi\u0163ind de c\u00e2teva ori abia perceptibil, privindu-m\u0103 cu ochii bulbuca\u0163i, neobi\u015fnui\u0163i pentru un \u015farpe, mi-a susurat jenat, dar cu gura larg deschis\u0103 (o premier\u0103 \u00een cincinalul de prietenie stearp\u0103):<\/p>\n

– P\u0103i da, normal…<\/p>\n

– Perfect! Atunci f\u0103 bine \u015fi r\u00e2g\u00e2ie c\u00e2t po\u0163i tu de tare c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i fac semn!<\/p>\n

\u015ei aproape f\u0103r\u0103 a m\u0103 g\u00e2ndi, m-am trezit la masa ro\u015fcatei \u0163\u00e2fnoase \u015fi a cobrei ei fandosite care, evident, sorbeau rafinat lichior de nuci sau castane, \u00een orice caz, ceva maro. Dac\u0103 mi-a\u015f fi calculat tupeul, a\u015f fi ajuns la concluzia c\u0103 nu sunt capabil s\u0103 ag\u0103\u0163, dar cum nu voiam dec\u00e2t s\u0103 \u00eel umilesc pe samavolnicul meu animal de companie, dup\u0103 cabotinele temenele de rigoare, am \u015fi ajuns s\u0103 m\u0103 ofer a le pl\u0103ti consuma\u0163ia. Oare femeile sunt curve dac\u0103 accept\u0103 chestia asta? Dar dac\u0103 accept\u0103 flori? Ei, bat c\u00e2mpii \u2013 cui naiba s\u0103-i treac\u0103 prin minte s\u0103 ofere… flori, unei… femei? De ce nu sl\u0103nin\u0103 cu ceap\u0103?<\/p>\n

Iat\u0103, am fost dezinvolt \u015fi poate, pe alocuri, nu vreau s\u0103 fiu eu cel care s-o spun\u0103, dar poate, zic, pu\u0163in sexy (c\u00e2h, ce cuv\u00e2nt m\u0103re\u0163, dac\u0103\u00a0 mi-l aplici!). \u00cen orice caz, \u00een c\u00e2teva minute cuno\u015fteam deja numele ro\u015fcatei, m\u0103surile ei, re\u0163etele preferate, ne\u00eemplinirile pe plan profesional \u015fi sentimental, precum \u015fi \u00eemprejur\u0103rile \u00een care c\u0103lcase la r\u00e2ndul ei pe cobr\u0103 (de aproape, aceasta se dovedea \u00eentr-adev\u0103r a fi mult mai frumoas\u0103, mai educat\u0103 \u015fi mai distins\u0103 dec\u00e2t ignarul meu \u00eeng\u0103lat). Ating\u00e2ndu-le ca din \u00eent\u00e2mplare pe degete, pe umeri, pe genunchi, ca pentru a le face atente la ce aveam s\u0103 spun, de\u015fi era limpede c\u0103 nu priveau nic\u0103ieri altundeva, fix\u00e2ndu-le ochii \u015ftreng\u0103re\u015fte \u00een timpul bancurilor pe care li le serveam, m\u0103 sim\u0163eam imens, imbatabil, nemuritor \u015fi… inevitabil. \u00cen acceptarea femeii \u015fi a \u015ferpoaicei sale nu mai aveam nevoie de al meu. Care se lungise c\u00e2t \u00eel \u0163inea pielea (nou\u0103), b\u0103l\u0103ng\u0103nindu-se pe canapeaua aceea din velur de parc\u0103 s-ar fi \u00een\u0103l\u0163at pe v\u00e2rfuri pentru a vedea ce se petrece \u00een dosul unui gard mai \u00eenalt dec\u00e2t el. Iar inteligen\u0163a lui cinic\u0103 acum se manifesta prin limba-i sc\u00e2rboas\u0103 cu care se scobea \u00een n\u0103ri.<\/p>\n

Nu mai \u0163in minte c\u00e2nd mi-am odihnit mai mult timp m\u00e2na pe cobra aceea rafinat\u0103, cu ochelari sub\u0163iri cu rame albastre, cu solzi corect peria\u0163i \u015fi farda\u0163i, cu boticul acela \u0163inut mereu sus, \u00eentr-o condescenden\u0163\u0103 menit\u0103 a a\u0163\u00e2\u0163a, dar poate \u015fi de la minimul alcool necesar pentru a\u015fa ceva, ne sc\u0103rpinam \u015fi ne propteam frun\u0163ile \u00een trei ca vechi amici din copil\u0103rie care. de dragul vremurilor trecute, consimt la un sex mic, de coniven\u0163\u0103, neproblematic, u\u015for de uitat. Iar c\u00e2nd cobra chicotea intermitent, l\u0103s\u00e2ndu-se masat\u0103 pe ceafa ei pudrat\u0103, u\u015furel, i-am dirijat c\u0103p\u0103\u0163\u00e2na \u00eenspre p\u0103r\u0103situl meu labagiu platonic \u015fi i-am f\u0103cut acestuia semnul convenit. Trezit dintr-o trist\u0103 reverie, pe deplin \u00eencrez\u0103tor \u00een utilitatea lui, slobozi o eructa\u0163ie fulminant\u0103, r\u0103v\u0103\u015fitoare. At\u00e2t cobra, c\u00e2t \u015fi ro\u015fcata, plonjar\u0103 \u00eentr-un hohot onest, fl\u0103m\u00e2nd. Euforic, \u015farpele meu se dovedi mai prost dec\u00e2t burlacul conjunctural \u015fi, neg\u0103sind o alt\u0103 replic\u0103, continu\u0103 s\u0103 r\u00e2g\u00e2ie \u00een toate felurile, oprindu-se doar c\u00e2nd i-am aruncat scrumiera \u00een cap.<\/p>\n

– El e cu tine? m-a \u00eentrebat \u015f\u0103galnic ro\u015fcata.<\/p>\n

– Mda, i-am r\u0103spuns, ca majoritatea nenorocirilor.<\/p>\n

– \u015ei de ce nu \u00eel chemi la noi?<\/p>\n

– Pentru c\u0103 vreau s\u0103-i dovedesc c\u0103 sunt mai bun dec\u00e2t el.<\/p>\n

– Ei, haide, nu fi r\u0103u, cheam\u0103-l \u015fi pe el! Sau e\u015fti r\u0103u?<\/p>\n

– Depinde de cum vrei s\u0103 fiu…<\/p>\n

Drept indiciu, m-a ap\u0103sat pe v\u00e2rful nasului, trimi\u0163\u00e2ndu-mi o bezea pe post de promisiune. A\u015fa c\u0103 l-am chemat. A\u015fa c\u0103 a venit. A\u015fa c\u0103 restul nici nu mai conteaz\u0103. Din c\u00e2teva mi\u015fc\u0103ri, \u015ferpi\u015forii no\u015ftri erau \u00eencol\u0103ci\u0163i \u015fi se giugiuleau voios \u015fi lipicios, de am fost nevoi\u0163i s\u0103 \u00eei \u00eenh\u0103\u0163\u0103m \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eei scoatem \u00een parc, la presiunile celorlal\u0163i clien\u0163i, irita\u0163i. Sub slabul felinar g\u0103lbejit deja se acuplau f\u0103r\u0103 jen\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 protec\u0163ie. \u015eocat de m\u0103rimea argumentului sexual al verzuliului meu \u015farpe de cas\u0103, pe care nu \u00eel b\u0103nuisem nicic\u00e2nd, am \u00een\u0163epenit privindu-i.<\/p>\n

– \u015etii c\u0103 nu e frumos s\u0103 te holbezi? mi-a \u015foptit ro\u015fcata cu un perdaf peste chic\u0103.<\/p>\n

– Mda, \u015ftiu, dar \u0103sta… \u00ee\u0163i mai fac o cinzeac\u0103?<\/p>\n

A\u015fa c\u0103 am intrat din nou s\u0103 bem. Mult. Neutru.<\/p>\n

– \u00ce\u0163i dai seama c\u0103 vor pleca?<\/p>\n

– Da, \u015ftiu.<\/p>\n

– \u015ei nu \u00ee\u0163i pare r\u0103u dup\u0103 el?<\/p>\n

– Abia a\u015fteptam s\u0103 scap de el.<\/p>\n

– Dar nu v-a\u0163i \u00een\u0163eles bine?<\/p>\n

– Ba da… Excelent chiar.<\/p>\n

– \u015ei atunci?<\/p>\n

– Nu \u015ftiu… Parc\u0103 m-am s\u0103turat s\u0103 \u00eemi aud g\u00e2ndurile rostite.<\/p>\n

– M\u0103i, voi, b\u0103rba\u0163ii, sunte\u0163i a\u015fa ni\u015fte t\u0103nt\u0103l\u0103i…<\/p>\n

– Da, \u015fi voi, femeile, sunte\u0163i a\u015fa ni\u015fte figuri…<\/p>\n

Ne-am desp\u0103r\u0163it buni prieteni. At\u00e2t de buni \u00eenc\u00e2t n-am mai \u015ftiut unul de cel\u0103lalt pentru mult\u0103 vreme. \u015eerpii, evident, disp\u0103ruser\u0103. \u00cen scurt timp, \u00eens\u0103, bravura mea s-a ofilit \u015fi am \u00eenceput s\u0103 simt lipsa portavocii g\u00e2ndurilor mele. Am \u00eenceput chiar s\u0103-l caut. Poate se va fi sf\u0103dit cu cobra aia bor\u0163oas\u0103 \u015fi, ca un real viteaz, avea s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 la eroica noastr\u0103 prietenie. Sau devenise mai familist \u00een cinismul lui? P\u0103i nu a\u015fa \u00eemi imaginasem…<\/p>\n

Cu ro\u015fcata m-am mai \u00eent\u00e2lnit o singur\u0103 dat\u0103, la acela\u015fi bar, \u00een acela\u015fi funk psihedelic, dar f\u0103r\u0103 \u015ferpi. F\u0103r\u0103 bancuri, f\u0103r\u0103 tupeul meu \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 u\u015fur\u0103tatea ei \u00een a accepta s\u0103-i pl\u0103tesc consuma\u0163ia.<\/p>\n

– Ce mai faci?<\/p>\n

– Ur\u0103sc \u00eentrebarea asta.<\/p>\n

– \u015ei eu. A trecut o vreme, nu?<\/p>\n

– Da. \u00cemi pare c\u0103 foarte mult\u0103.<\/p>\n

– Cum e\u015fti?<\/p>\n

– Singur\u0103.<\/p>\n

– Serios?! De ce? De fapt, \u015fi eu.<\/p>\n

– Mda… Ur\u00e2t…<\/p>\n

– \u0162i-e dor de ea?<\/p>\n

– De nu mai pot!<\/p>\n

– \u015ei mie de dobitocul meu… Nu i-ai mai \u00eent\u00e2lnit, nu?<\/p>\n

– Nu. \u015ei am \u00eenceput chiar s-o caut. Dar am renun\u0163at \u00eentr-un t\u00e2rziu.<\/p>\n

– Eu visez de o vreme milioane de \u015ferpi\u015fori care \u00eemi scotocesc printre haine, printre pozele din liceu \u015fi prin buzunare.<\/p>\n

– Eu credeam c\u0103 odat\u0103 ce aveam s\u0103 m\u0103 descotorosesc de f\u00e2\u0163a mea, aveau s\u0103-mi curg\u0103 cererile \u00een c\u0103s\u0103torie.<\/p>\n

– Ce naiba am f\u0103cut?<\/p>\n

– Nu m\u0103 \u00eentreba. Mai bine o striveam \u015fi-mi vedeam de mine. \u015etii, \u00eemi pl\u0103ceai…<\/p>\n

– Eu nu am cunoscut pe nimeni mai mi\u015fto dec\u00e2t tine…<\/p>\n

– \u015ei acum \u00eemi placi…<\/p>\n

– \u015ei acum e\u015fti cea mai mi\u015fto…<\/p>\n

– M\u0103i, voi, b\u0103rba\u0163ii, sunte\u0163i a\u015fa ni\u015fte t\u0103nt\u0103l\u0103i…<\/p>\n

– Da, \u015fi voi, femeile, sunte\u0163i a\u015fa ni\u015fte figuri…<\/p>\n

\n

\n

\u201eO lini\u015fte nu seam\u0103n\u0103 cu o alt\u0103 lini\u015fte<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

(Antoine de Saint-Exup\u00e9ry)<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[sau nu amesteca orgasmul cu sexul] de Emilian Ghea\u021b\u0103 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cu T\u0103r\u00e2\u0163\u0103 eram cel mai bun prieten de un cincinal bun. Am renun\u0163at s\u0103-i sucesc g\u00e2tul c\u00e2nd l-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit pentru prima oar\u0103 tren\u00e2nd \u00eencol\u0103cit \u00een jurul piciorului meu, implor\u00e2nd cu ardoare b\u0103garea \u00een seam\u0103. \u00cen multe am mai c\u0103lcat \u00een via\u0163a mea… \u00cen fine, am […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1408,15],"tags":[1409,1386,1115],"class_list":["post-12802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-61","category-proza","tag-egophobia-61","tag-emilian-gheata","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3ku","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12802","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12802"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12802\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12803,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12802\/revisions\/12803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}