{"id":13006,"date":"2020-06-15T13:00:36","date_gmt":"2020-06-15T11:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13006"},"modified":"2021-09-04T11:47:16","modified_gmt":"2021-09-04T09:47:16","slug":"always-second-best","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13006","title":{"rendered":"Below a Sea of Clouds"},"content":{"rendered":"

by \u0218tefan Bolea<\/a><\/p>\n

as I stepped outside, the jailer whispered with his back on the door<\/p>\n

“don’t go out there! they’ll spit on you and slay you<\/p>\n

I’m the only reason why you’re still alive”<\/p>\n

“stony devil, you cannot exist without your chains and your lies<\/p>\n

night after night you poured drops of fear in my ear<\/p>\n

there’s nothing you can do for me today”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I left the prison intrigued to see if there’s any truth in the rumor that mankind has sunk to bestiality<\/p>\n

no souls in the square<\/p>\n

has hell been depopulated?<\/p>\n

is the Kingdom at hand?<\/p>\n

are we cleansed after eons of torture?<\/p>\n

is the devil really saved? has he left his office?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

but the prison seems infinite, although not totally unappealing<\/p>\n

can there be something else beyond the bars or are we corpses looking for upgraded coffins?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

the jailer told me at the other side of the square<\/p>\n

“there’s nothing for you here<\/p>\n

you can never break free as long you hold to your inner prison<\/p>\n

you’ve always been trapped in your mind<\/p>\n

they punished you to see everywhere what you see in the inside<\/p>\n

perception is godlike – reality deadly<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I see something you don’t see, jailer<\/p>\n

that you are made of stone and I shall desecrate you with all my spite”<\/p>\n

as I’ve hammered the eyeballs of the guardian and relished while his brain fell to pieces<\/p>\n

thunderstorms and black rain poured from above<\/p>\n

the jailer’s armor crumbled and inside I’ve seen the man who modeled for all the icons<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

did I just kill God again? I thought there’s no way he could recover after that hit in sils maria<\/p>\n

“God”, “me”, “death” belong in the same context, I guess<\/p>\n

“God will kill you”, I can almost hear the cheering<\/p>\n

“I am the death of God”, nietzsche and cioran disappointed because of their historical prominence but relaxed because I gave them front seats to the apocalypse<\/p>\n

one more step, request the worshippers “God is dead and I am God”<\/p>\n

final revolutionary leap<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

perception suddenly gave way to reality<\/p>\n

I’m back inside my jail resting on a bed of straw<\/p>\n

“what you give to God you give to devil<\/p>\n

God has suppressed his devil in order to become the one<\/p>\n

why do you fight so much<\/p>\n

kill one of them and become the other”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’m the man with two shadows<\/p>\n

God + devil + x = me<\/p>\n

fair to say that I am beyond God and devil<\/p>\n

and that all the cosmos is windy when I howl, sheds rain when I cry<\/p>\n

a chamber of resonance for the ragged prince of nihilism<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

so come bearing gifts and don’t fuck with me<\/p>\n

eternal death is synced with my last breath<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by \u0218tefan Bolea as I stepped outside, the jailer whispered with his back on the door “don’t go out there! they’ll spit on you and slay you I’m the only reason why you’re still alive” “stony devil, you cannot exist without your chains and your lies night after night you poured drops of fear in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[124,1420],"tags":[1128,1421,39],"class_list":["post-13006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial","category-egophobia-63","tag-editorial","tag-egophobia-63","tag-stefan-bolea"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3nM","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13006"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13748,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13006\/revisions\/13748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}