{"id":13010,"date":"2020-06-12T07:14:35","date_gmt":"2020-06-12T05:14:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13010"},"modified":"2020-06-13T17:25:02","modified_gmt":"2020-06-13T15:25:02","slug":"poeme-de-irina-balcu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13010","title":{"rendered":"poeme de Irina Balcu"},"content":{"rendered":"

(debut)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Stand-up<\/strong><\/p>\n

m\u0103 cheam\u0103 Irina \u0219i totu\u0219i nu am parte de pace niciodat\u0103<\/p>\n

n-am s\u0103 spun c\u0103 \u0219i-au b\u0103tut ai mei joc de mine<\/p>\n

departe de ei g\u00e2ndul<\/p>\n

dar au fost mult prea optimi\u0219ti, \u0219ti\u021bi ce zic?<\/p>\n

care e faza cu optimismul \u0103sta<\/p>\n

nu \u00eel \u00een\u021beleg c\u00e2nd m\u0103 uit \u00een jur<\/p>\n

(m\u0103 uit \u00een jur prea mult. La balul de absolvire, un coleg mort de beat mi-a zis \u201eB\u0103, Ilinco, b\u0103, ce te ui\u021bi \u00een st\u00e2nga \u0219i-n dreapta, Vlad a plecat acum mult timp. Pute\u021bi \u00eenlocui \u201eVlad\u201d cu orice, de la talent, la speran\u021b\u0103, la coping mechanisms s\u0103n\u0103toase \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 la b\u0103ie\u021bii frumo\u0219i cu care m\u0103 afi\u0219am ca s\u0103 le ar\u0103t acelor bullies din general\u0103, care nici nu mai \u0219tiu cum m\u0103 cheam\u0103, c\u0103 o duc bine.)<\/p>\n

de ce mai e invidia un p\u0103cat pedepsit<\/p>\n

c\u00e2nd este ea \u00eens\u0103\u0219i pedeapsa<\/p>\n

\u00eemi fac at\u00e2tea filme<\/p>\n

\u0219i nici m\u0103car nu sunt regizor<\/p>\n

(\u0103sta e momentul \u00een care r\u00e2de\u021bi. V-a\u021bi prins?)<\/p>\n

tr\u0103iesc \u00een capul meu \u0219i nici acolo<\/p>\n

nu-mi dau voie s\u0103 c\u00e2\u0219tig<\/p>\n

pentru c\u0103 am fost mereu l\u0103udat\u0103 pentru realismul meu<\/p>\n

\u0219i pe bun\u0103 dreptate<\/p>\n

m\u0103car at\u00e2t.<\/p>\n

am dou\u0103\u0219unu de ani mai \u0219ti\u021bi v\u00e2rsta aia<\/p>\n

c\u00e2nd e\u0219ti prea t\u00e2n\u0103r s\u0103 \u0219tii ce s\u0103 faci \u0219i prea b\u0103tr\u00e2n<\/p>\n

pentru a mai avea timp s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi<\/p>\n

tot ce am avut r\u0103gaz s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b a fost c\u0103 orice \u00eencepe cu<\/p>\n

ce ai pe m\u00e2ini te-ai jucat singur\u0103<\/p>\n

se sf\u00e2r\u0219e\u0219te cu a fost nice <\/em>s\u0103 \u0219tii<\/p>\n

\u00eei ordoni persoanei gre\u0219ite s\u0103 \u0219tie dragule<\/p>\n

eu nu \u0219tiu nimic<\/p>\n

\u0219i nu ne\u0219tiu \u00een stilul cool al lui Socrate<\/p>\n

ne\u0219tiu ca mine<\/p>\n

am visat azi-noapte un vierme negru care f\u0103cea opturi pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 oglinda din baie<\/p>\n

\u0219i cred c\u0103 viermele \u0103la sunt chiar eu<\/p>\n

(mai precis, partea aia din mine care m-a urcat pe scen\u0103 \u0219i v\u0103 face capul calendar)<\/p>\n

defectul \u0103la fatal ca de Hamlet<\/p>\n

doar c\u0103 sem\u0103n mai mult cu Danemarca<\/p>\n

habar n-am ce e putred<\/p>\n

\u0219i nimeni nu-mi arat\u0103<\/p>\n

ave\u021bi vreo idee<\/p>\n

tu cu gecu\u021ba aia fosforescent\u0103<\/p>\n

care \u00ee\u021bi \u00eembrac\u0103 personalitatea incolor\u0103<\/p>\n

(f\u0103t\u0103l\u0103ule, zice o comediant\u0103 care \u0219i-a l\u0103sat breton ca s\u0103-\u0219i ascund\u0103 cicatricea de la lobotomie)<\/p>\n

ce crezi? care e problema mea? \u00een afara faptului c\u0103 vorbesc cu tine, desigur<\/p>\n

(am asurzit sau r\u00e2de\u021bi pe silent<\/em>?)<\/p>\n

\u00ee\u021bi mi\u0219ti buzele \u0219i nu te aud<\/p>\n

hipsterule<\/p>\n

Am s\u0103 plou<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Am s\u0103 plou \u0219i nu ai cum s\u0103 m\u0103 opre\u0219ti, a\u0219a cum \u021bi-e imposibil s\u0103 opre\u0219ti condensia norilor \u00een zilele de var\u0103. Am s\u0103 plou \u0219i nu voi ploua ca acea cortin\u0103 v\u0103ratic\u0103, ce se ridic\u0103 dup\u0103 dou\u0103zeci de minute.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Nu, eu aleg s\u0103 burni\u021bez. \u0218tii serile alea reci, \u00eenmuiate, c\u00e2nd lumea se fragmenteaz\u0103 \u00een pic\u0103turi, c\u00e2nd apa \u00ee\u021bi intr\u0103 \u00een n\u0103ri \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi umple pl\u0103m\u00e2nii? \u00cenec \u00eent\u00e2rziat.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A\u0219 vrea s\u0103 fiu etern\u0103 \u0219i etern s\u0103 fii tu, ca s\u0103 te \u00eenec ve\u0219nic. Sau \u201easimptotic\u201d, cum \u00ee\u021bi place \u021bie s\u0103 spui, de\u0219i ai senza\u021bia c\u0103 termenul \u201econtroversat\u201d are sensul de \u201efir narativ cu multe r\u0103sturn\u0103ri de situa\u021bie\u201d. Telenovelele sunt \u201econtroversate\u201d, dragul meu? Este \u201econtroversat\u201d faptul c\u0103 ar\u0103\u021bi \u00eentregii lumi pietre reci \u0219i lustruite, f\u0103r\u0103 ca privitorii s\u0103 \u0219tie c\u0103 le-ai scos dintr-o mocirl\u0103?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 M-am r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit! Am s\u0103 tun. \u0218i am s\u0103 fulger. \u0218i m\u0103 voi pr\u0103v\u0103li peste tine, arz\u00e2nd ca un soare alungit \u00eentr-o suli\u021b\u0103, am s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi carbonizez pielea, \u0219i gr\u0103simea galben\u0103 \u0219i tare, \u0219i mu\u0219chii tremur\u00e2nzi de dedesubt \u0219i am s\u0103 m\u0103 transplantez \u00een m\u0103duva ta \u0219i am s\u0103 merg \u0219i mai departe, spre structurile cele mai mici, spre fiecare celul\u0103; axonii o s\u0103 scuipe foc unul c\u0103tre cel\u0103lalt, leg\u00e2nd un lan\u021b de cenu\u0219\u0103 mereu reaprins\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Dar s\u0103 ne \u00eentoarcem la piele (neuronii, dragul de tine, nu se mai \u00eentorc; nu c\u0103 ai avea prea mul\u021bi astfel de disp\u0103ru\u021bi pe care s\u0103-i chemi \u00eenapoi) \u2013 fiecare deget al tr\u0103snetului meu \u021bi se va lipi de obraji, de pleoape \u2013 vei afla c\u0103 ochii sunt frumo\u0219i doar pentru c\u0103 sunt \u00eembr\u0103ca\u021bi \u00een carne, chiar \u0219i c\u00e2nd sunt alba\u0219tri sau verzi. \u0218i n-avea Buck Mulligan dreptate c\u00e2nd zicea c\u0103 marea e verde ca flegma\u0219\u00a0 Vei afla c\u0103 din\u021bii sunt frumo\u0219i doar c\u00e2nd au de ce gingie trandafirie s\u0103 se aga\u021be, doar c\u00e2nd au sub ce buze s\u0103 se ascund\u0103. Sub buzele tale, \u021buguiate mereu pentru a pupa c\u00e2te un derri\u0219re, pentru a ondula c\u00e2te-o minciun\u0103 (\u201eTe iubesc\u201d \u2013 preferata ta, mai ales atunci c\u00e2nd \u0219tiai cum s\u0103 o plasezi strategic \u00een \u0219iretenia aia primitiv\u0103 pe care o crezi ne\u00eentrecut\u0103 sagacitate).<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u0218i peste buc\u0103\u021bile topite \u0219i scurse din tine, \u0219tii ce am s\u0103 fac\u0219 Am s\u0103 ning \u0219i am s\u0103 viscolesc, ca s\u0103 le relipesc \u00eentr-o ordine… \u201ecubist\u0103\u201d, ai spune tu, cu intona\u021bia aceea afectat\u0103 de om care vrea s\u0103 arate c\u0103 \u0219tie un cuv\u00e2nt \u0219i, mai mult dec\u00e2t at\u00e2t, c\u0103 \u0219i l-a \u00eensu\u0219it: \u201eE cuv\u00e2ntul meu, lua\u021bi-v\u0103 gurile de pe el!\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Am s\u0103-\u021bi lipesc m\u0103dularul \u00een craterul ce-\u021bi va fi r\u0103mas \u00een loc de cre\u0219tet, s\u0103 te bucuri c\u0103 \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it este v\u0103zut, c\u0103 \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it sunt ochii prioni\u021bi asupra lui \u2013 la fel de util ar fi fost oriunde, indiferent de plasare. Am s\u0103-\u021bi \u00eenfig unghiile carbonizate \u00een buric, pentru a nu te mai putea lipi vreodat\u0103 de mama ta \u2013 dar poate am s\u0103-i rup o bucat\u0103 din fust\u0103 \u0219i am s\u0103-\u021bi acop\u0103r orbitele goale cu ea. Consider\u0103-l un gest de tandre\u021be.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u0218i are s\u0103 vin\u0103, iat\u0103, \u0219i vara, \u0219i atunci am s\u0103 plou a\u0219a cum sperai la \u00eenceput c\u0103 o voi face \u0219i am s\u0103 devin torent \u00een tine \u0219i am s\u0103 m\u0103 amestec cu noroiul pe care-l \u021bii \u00een torace \u0219i pe care niciodat\u0103, niciodat\u0103 nu va putea cineva s\u0103-l distrug\u0103: esen\u021bele r\u0103m\u00e2n \u00eentotdeauna. \u0218i eu, ap\u0103 cu noroi, am s\u0103 devin st\u0103tut\u0103 \u0219i \u00eentins\u0103 \u0219i dormind\u0103 \u00een tine.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Dar, pentru a-l parafraza pe acel lingvist ale c\u0103rui concepte zburau chiar peste c\u0103p\u0219orul t\u0103u dr\u0103g\u0103la\u0219 \u0219i lingu\u0219itor,\u00a0 voi fi o idee verde incolor\u0103 care doarme furios.<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(debut) Stand-up m\u0103 cheam\u0103 Irina \u0219i totu\u0219i nu am parte de pace niciodat\u0103 n-am s\u0103 spun c\u0103 \u0219i-au b\u0103tut ai mei joc de mine departe de ei g\u00e2ndul dar au fost mult prea optimi\u0219ti, \u0219ti\u021bi ce zic?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1420,13],"tags":[1310,1421,1431,1114],"class_list":["post-13010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-63","category-poezie","tag-debut","tag-egophobia-63","tag-irina-balcu","tag-poezie"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3nQ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13010"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13013,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13010\/revisions\/13013"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}