{"id":13258,"date":"2020-12-13T13:34:41","date_gmt":"2020-12-13T11:34:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13258"},"modified":"2021-03-16T01:15:55","modified_gmt":"2021-03-15T23:15:55","slug":"mottocultura-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13258","title":{"rendered":"Mottocultura [II]"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">~jur&#8217;<em>noir~<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">de Ion-Daniel Pestrea<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Eu \u00eemi tr\u0103iesc visul, zise Faralfil.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Aici, \u00een Guano Land? se mir\u0103 Virel.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Aici. Guano e natur\u0103, e bios, e fertilis.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Fragment dintr-un dialog \u00eentre Faralfil Yomisdanus \u0219i vecinul s\u0103u, Virel Bacteriu<\/em><!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Ciclul replicativ al mottoului cuprinde: adsorb\u021bia (ata\u0219area de text), internalizarea (p\u0103trunderea \u00een text), decapsidarea (nucleul semantic, \u00een\u021belesul, separat de form\u0103), sinteza (nucleul mottoului se ramific\u0103 \u0219i cre\u0219te pe seama textului, care scade), eliberarea de noi mottouri, mottioni sau motticele (textul gazd\u0103 dispare \u00eencet).&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Citat din monumentala lucrare &#8220;Universul fascinant al microliteraturii-tratat de mottologie&#8221; scris\u0103 de pionierul domeniului, dr. mottolog Virel Bacteriu Pandemielu<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Vom scoate pe str\u0103zi Pitonieri-Majori a c\u0103ror sarcin\u0103 va fi s\u0103 elimine culpabilii, prin aplicarea procedurii operative de ingestie (\u00eenghi\u021bire) urmat\u0103 de digestie (digerare).&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Citat din Manualul Catastrofal al \u00cenvingerii Totale, autor Lentamiral Koloneloff, mare\u0219alul armatei insulare, ideolog \u0219i figur\u0103 mesianic\u0103 a Inspectoratului Hingherilor Apocaliptici-IHA, tat\u0103 luminos al na\u021biei<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Mai nou, am o pasiune pentru agricultura de subzisten\u021b\u0103. Chiar azi m-am luptat cu mama gaia (terra), mai precis cu Humusul. Se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 fie cam lutos \u00een gr\u0103dina mea, \u0219i cam tare. Am rupt ini\u021bial h\u00e2rle\u021bul, noroc c\u0103 aveam de rezerv\u0103 dou\u0103. Dup\u0103 ce l-am rupt \u0219i pe al doilea, am trecut la t\u00e2rn\u0103cop. Din p\u0103cate, probabil roas\u0103 de carii, \u0219i coada acesuia s-a fr\u00e2nt. Am g\u0103sit o rang\u0103 \u0219i am fr\u0103gezit cu ea un timp, dup\u0103 care am suferit o sincop\u0103 \u0219i am le\u0219inat. C\u00e2nd m-am trezit, era noapte, dar, slav\u0103 mamei gaia, tr\u0103iam \u00eenc\u0103.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Faralfil Yomisdanus \u00een eseul &#8220;Calea spasmofilului-neab\u0103tut \u00een lupta vl\u0103guirii&#8221; arat\u0103 cum, tr\u0103dat de calciu, asaltat de aritmii \u0219i disonan\u021be, are un atac de incon\u0219tien\u021b\u0103 agricol\u0103<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Acela fu momentul \u00een care&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Totul s-a terminat. Virel d\u0103du din cap, \u00een\u021beleg\u0103tor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Sau a \u00eenceput. Aten\u021bie. Sau a \u00eenceput. Nu e diferen\u021b\u0103, zise Faralfil. Vezi, buturuga mic\u0103 r\u0103stoarn\u0103 g\u00e2ndu&#8217; mare. G\u0103se\u0219te buturuga! Exist\u0103 una pentru fiece idee supralicitat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Frumos! Frumos! Ah, ce acumulare de reflec\u021bii na\u0219te o criz\u0103, calcul\u0103 Virel cu entuziasm vocal.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Emfaza i se trage de la surplusul chimic pe care-l soarbe din ce\u0219ti, pahare, filtre, socoti Faralfil, cu empatia pe care el o avea de la diver\u0219i compu\u0219i circula\u021bi de s\u00e2ngele lui prin norul dens de neuroni din Nebuloasa Gelatinoas\u0103 a Dovleacului-N.G.D.-\u0219i care erau, \u00een principal, alcaloizi naturali din tincturile, infuziile, fierturile de leac pe care \u0219i le turna ne\u00eencetat pe g\u00e2t.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Scen\u0103 de armonie \u00eentre vecini carantina\u021bi, \u00eempin\u0219i de apatie c\u0103tre cele goale ale spiritului, vorbele (dar salvatoare la naufragiu, gonflabile la dezastru)<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;E o situa\u021bie \u00een care numai dac\u0103-\u021bi pierzi min\u021bile r\u0103m\u00e2i o persoan\u0103 ra\u021bional\u0103.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Citat din eseul &#8220;C\u0103piere \u0219i plictis&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Outdoorsmanul perfect are unghii de 10 centimetri, incasabile, din\u021bi de carnivor, blan\u0103 impecabil\u0103 (covor persan), vitez\u0103 de ghepard fl\u0103m\u00e2nd, reflexe de maimu\u021b\u0103 mic\u0103, camuflaj tip cameleon. O coad\u0103 lung\u0103 \u0219i puternic\u0103. Cocoa\u0219\u0103 tip dromader pentru scenarii \u00een de\u0219ert. Adaptabilitate, inteligen\u021ba peste medie e o cerin\u021b\u0103 obligatorie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Se cere \u0219i experien\u021b\u0103, de preferat \u00een zone \u00eemp\u0103durite.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Citat din &#8220;Cum s\u0103 reu\u0219e\u0219ti \u00een via\u021b\u0103 \u0219i dup\u0103 ce \u021bi-ai luat lumea-n cap&#8221;, manual autobiografic al lui Fane Fenomen, care \u0219i-a construit o carier\u0103 de s\u0103lbatic ca s\u0103-\u0219i poat\u0103 sus\u021bine financiar familia; el a \u00eemprumutat tehnici de supravie\u021buire din lumea animal\u0103<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Iarba gras\u0103-portulaca oleracea-numit\u0103 \u0219i iarba porcului, gra\u0219i\u021b\u0103 sau buruian\u0103 gras\u0103 e, de fapt, f\u0103r\u0103 \u0219tirea noastr\u0103, o minune pentru organism. Chefii cu preten\u021bii \u0219i chefliii s\u0103raci o folosesc deopotriv\u0103. Bun\u0103 \u0219i proasp\u0103t\u0103, \u0219i preparat\u0103. Infuzia ajut\u0103 digestia.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u0218i nu uita\u021bi c\u0103 partea alb\u0103 a coajei de salcie con\u021bine vitamina C \u0219i salicin (aspirin\u0103). Nalba, trifoiul, troscotul, p\u0103p\u0103dia, ciulinul sunt \u0219i ele comestibile, \u00eentr-o form\u0103 sau alta.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Mult succes \u00een supravie\u021buire!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Citat din Fane Fenomen<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;\u00cen ritmul \u0103sta, o s\u0103 m\u0103 transform \u00een bivol, cu apartament \u00een loc de stomac, iar urma\u0219ii mei vor fi, to\u021bi, rumeg\u0103toare.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Fane la un pahar de limonad\u0103 din ciuline; neoficial \u00ee\u0219i depl\u00e2nge soarta<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Teribil\u0103 oboseal\u0103 am \u00een oase! L\u0103sa\u021bi-ne dracului s\u0103 murim liberi!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Oricum, \u00een marea asta de hiene hohotitoare, putrezim de-a-ncetul to\u021bi gr\u0103mad\u0103, de\u0219tep\u021bii pe gr\u0103mezile lor de aur, fraierii \u00een praf, c\u0103 e urgen\u021b\u0103, c\u0103 nu e.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Din &#8220;Studiu asupra kakistocra\u021biei: uimitoare tehnici \u0219i proceduri \u00een clasa noilor parazi\u021bi. O abordare patetic\u0103&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Urmeaz\u0103-m\u0103. Te duc la piciorul ora\u0219ului, zise omul. Numele meu e Babal Tubaloff, sunt acompaniator, secundant \u0219i mentor, instructor reanimator \u0219i guru. Voi fi cu tine p\u00e2n\u0103 la marea confruntare, te voi ajuta s\u0103 \u00eenduri ap\u0103sarea numinosului. Stai lini\u0219tit, \u0219tiu multe. Aten\u021bie la gropi \u0219i g\u0103uri. Dac\u0103 sim\u021bi un tremur a\u0219a, nest\u0103p\u00e2nit, s\u0103 nu te sperii, e zg\u00e2l\u021b\u00e2irea sacr\u0103, face parte din adaptare. Okei?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Okei! \u00cenainte ca Bandan s\u0103 mai spun\u0103 ceva-\u00eel pi\u0219cau ni\u0219te \u00eentreb\u0103ri de limb\u0103-numitul Babal Tubaloff se roti pe c\u0103lc\u00e2ie \u0219i disp\u0103ru \u00een ce\u021buri cu o mirabil\u0103 accelerare, \u0219i doar sclipirea aurie a instrumentului s\u0103u mai pluti o secund\u0103 \u00een aerul dens, iar volutele smogului \u00eei indicau calea de fug\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">C\u00e2t de \u00eensufle\u021bit! Se vede limpede c\u0103-\u0219i ia sarcina de ghid \u00een serios. Mai bine s\u0103 nu-l pierd, calcul\u0103 Bandan. Re\u00eencepu, cu pruden\u021b\u0103, fuga lui fantomatic\u0103, asem\u0103n\u0103toare cu o plutire. F\u0103cea cu u\u0219urin\u021b\u0103 \u0219pagatul.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u0218pagatul destinului, calcul\u0103 el precis. Iat\u0103 cum m\u0103 apropii. Ceva-ceva tot va ie\u0219i \u00een calea mea din bezna smogului urban. Sunetul ca de vapor al heliconului parc\u0103 venea din cer. Aha! Aha!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">G\u0103rile destinului. Prima oprire: piciorul ora\u0219ului.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">C\u0103ci imagina\u021bia \u00eei \u00eendruma via\u021ba, iar ea lua uneori o turnur\u0103 feroviar\u0103. Sau maritim\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ba chiar aerian\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Escal\u0103 pe Likeleia.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Mottojurnal<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Tr\u0103ie\u0219te singur\u0103, e vegan\u0103. Da, a renun\u021bat la carne. A \u00eenlocuit-o cu beta-blocante \u0219i compu\u0219i ai benzenului (C6H6).&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Z\u00e2mbe\u0219te \u0219i tu pu\u021bin, s\u0103 nu se vad\u0103 c\u0103 e\u0219ti ur\u00e2\u021bic\u0103! zise el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Vezi c\u0103 ai intrat pe teren minat, r\u0103spunse ea.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Se privir\u0103, dup\u0103 mult timp, \u00een oglinda b\u0103ii. F\u00e2\u021b\u00e2iala zilnic\u0103 \u00eei \u00eenv\u0103\u021base s\u0103 se evite, de nevoie, pentru c\u0103 locuiau \u00eentr-o cas\u0103 obi\u0219nuit\u0103, nu \u00eentr-un palat, \u0219i mobilele, mese, scaune, dulapuri, noptiere, rafturi, bibliotec\u0103, vitrin\u0103, \u0219i altele, cu nume nu tot at\u00e2t de clare-cum era dulapul dubios cu uria\u0219a oglind\u0103 circular\u0103, c\u0103ruia cum s\u0103-i spui? Dulap sau oglind\u0103 sau noptilap sau dulind\u0103 sau oglilap sau dulier\u0103 sau noptilind\u0103 etc., m\u0103 rog, nu insist\u0103m, aglomera\u021bia obi\u0219nuit\u0103 de obiecte inutile, mari \u0219i mici, \u0219i mijlocii, \u0219i foarte mari, \u0219i foarte mici, \u0219i mici de tot, \u0219i uria\u0219e, care arat\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 putin\u021b\u0103 de \u00een\u0219elare, c\u0103 ne afl\u0103m pe teritoriul unei femele dominante din specia sapiens str\u00e2ng\u0103tor, mobilele, a\u0219adar, m\u00e2ncau ne\u00eencetat din spa\u021biul \u0219i a\u0219a \u00eengr\u0103dit de pere\u021bi imuabili (elastici sau expandabili de ar fi fost! ce bine atunci) \u0219i ei se strecurau printre ele, \u00een plus se \u0219i evitau, c\u00e2nd era cazul el \u00eei acorda ei prioritate, de exemplu pe hol-unde o mas\u0103 de bambus cu scaune tot de bambus, pe o parte, \u0219i ghivece cu bosche\u021bi exotici, pe cealalt\u0103, sugrumau culoarul, \u00eenc\u00e2t semaforizarea nu era o idee a\u0219a de nebuneasc\u0103, dac\u0103 s-ar fi practicat \u0219i \u00een casele aglomerate, de\u0219i ei erau numai doi, era un exemplu de idee practic\u0103 pe care n-o po\u021bi aplica pentru c\u0103 lumea n-o f\u0103cea \u0219i te-ar fi considerat \u021bicnit, lumea-ai auzit ce a f\u0103cut cutare? \u0219i-a b\u0103gat semafoare \u00een cas\u0103, nu unu, cinci! b\u0103 ej nebun!-\u0219i ar fi ajuns un paria, de fapt doi, de\u0219i vina cade pe b\u0103rbat, c\u0103 e mai cu mo\u021b, doi paria, ceea ce el dorea s\u0103 evite cu orice pre\u021b.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Dac\u0103 l\u0103s\u0103m deoparte toate aceste considera\u021biuni, ce r\u0103m\u00e2ne?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ei se z\u0103reau \u00een col\u021bul ochilor, participan\u021bi la acela\u0219i trafic aglomerat, \u0219i se strigau (claxonau) din camere separate, \u0219i vorbele lor rico\u0219au din pere\u021bi, \u00een drumul lor de la un aparat auditiv la cel\u0103lalt.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cen fa\u021ba oglinzii de la baie, dac\u0103 se nimereau deodat\u0103, li se p\u0103rea c\u0103 se privesc pentru prima oar\u0103, sau, ca s\u0103 continu\u0103m digresiunea rutier\u0103, se priveau ca eroii unei tampon\u0103ri u\u0219oare judeca\u021bi de mili\u021bian, se \u0219i c\u00e2nt\u0103reau oleac\u0103, era un moment deosebit al rela\u021biei lor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">El v\u0103zu, atunci, \u00een imaginea ei din oglind\u0103, pe ea, cum i se arcuiesc spr\u00e2ncenele sub\u021biate \u0219i i se m\u0103resc ochii c\u0103prui, la vederea, se pare, imaginii lui din oglind\u0103, care totu\u0219i nu era el, dar iat\u0103 cum \u00eel judeca ea, prin dubl\u0103 reflexie \u0219i, la drept vorbind, sub\u021bierea materialului originar.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Mam\u0103! Ce galben e\u0219ti! rosti ea cu zg\u00e2rcenie, de parc\u0103 un pic de intona\u021bie ar fi epuizat-o. Dar, a\u0219a era \u0219i el, dup\u0103 pandemie. E-pu-i-zat de z\u0103d\u0103rnicia nesf\u00e2r\u0219itei, parc\u0103, \u0219ederi \u00een c&#8230; fund.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-\u0218tiu. \u0218i tu e\u0219ti foarte galben\u0103, ai observat?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Da&#8217; nu ca tine. Tu pari bolnav.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Am\u00e2ndoi suntem hepatici \u0219i gra\u0219i. Avem un surplus de gr\u0103simi nearse. Izolarea ne ucide insidios. \u0102sta e un cuv\u00e2nt pre limba noastr\u0103? Probabil.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Pen&#8217; c\u0103 e\u0219ti a\u0219a un sedentar \u0219i m-ai corupt \u0219i pe mine, d-aia suntem ur\u00e2\u021bi, l\u0103m\u00e2ie \u0219i mu\u0219tar. Avem nevoie urgent\u0103 de b\u0103i solare.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-B\u0103i solare?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Da, b\u0103i solare \u0219i mi\u0219care, alergare. B\u0103i mu\u0219tar.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-B\u0103i l\u0103m\u00e2io.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;C\u00e2t s\u0103 \u021bin\u0103 \u0219i elanul?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">La \u00eenceput, cum e normal, a fost superb. Elan superb. A\u0219a \u00eencepe o rela\u021bie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">O vreme, a fost str\u0103lucitor. Elan str\u0103lucitor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Prin\u021b \u0219i prin\u021bes\u0103, fi\u021bi veseli, ochii privitorilor sunt ap\u0103sa\u021bi de adora\u021bie \u0219i strivi\u021bi de invidie! li se striga \u00een urechi. (Binevoitorii, cei care au o prea mare grij\u0103, cei care \u00eengrijesc planta p\u00e2n\u0103 ce umbra lor o usuc\u0103, cei care informeaz\u0103 asupra r\u0103ului presupus \u0219i astfel \u00eel r\u0103sp\u00e2ndesc, polenizatorii infamiei.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cen timp, a ap\u0103rut uzura, semne mici s-au adunat, prin efort propriu \u0219i contribu\u021bii ale colectivului de admiratori. Elan uzat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">La final, sub\u021biat, elanul s-a fr\u00e2nt. Elan fr\u00e2nt, invidii r\u0103corite. Rodul mi\u0219elnic al nuan\u021belor de infamie \u00een care polenizatorii r\u0103ului le-au pictat rela\u021bia, a explodat \u00eentr-o jerb\u0103 de am\u0103r\u0103ciuni.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Totu\u0219i, povestea lor a apucat s\u0103 fac\u0103 o rota\u021bie complet\u0103 \u00een jurul soarelui iubirii fericite (SIF).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ajunge! au strigat binevoitorii.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Fragmente crude, necizelate, din romanul lui Faralfil Yomisdanus: &#8220;Scene de menaj imaginar, scrise de un burlac&#8221;; \u00een curs de apari\u021bie din &#8217;97; \u00een care este descris drumul \u00een valea umbrelor pe care merg cei singuri \u0219i patetici din fire<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;E incredibil c\u00e2te cuvinte pe care le detest am reu\u0219it s\u0103 folosesc \u00eentr-o singur\u0103 fraz\u0103!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Faralfil<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">[text lips\u0103]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00a0<em>Mottojurnal<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Am\u0103r\u0103ciunea e o z\u0103d\u0103rnicie \u00een plus.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ce vrei s\u0103 spui cu asta?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Habar n-am. Mi-a venit&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Confesiunea decep\u021bionerului Amar Zadar, pacient al doctorului mottolog Virel Bacteriu<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Oportunitate m\u0103cel\u0103rie acum!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Ofert\u0103 Abatorul Modern<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eE un \u021b\u00e2fnos, un paznic de lag\u0103r; n-ai voie s\u0103 deschizi gura c\u00e2nd e prezent; el \u0219tie tot, el face tot; tu s\u0103 fii mut. Ideal? S\u0103 n-ai tu limb\u0103. Sau s-o tai, s\u0103 i-o dai ofrand\u0103. Fii f\u0103r\u0103 grij\u0103, cre\u0219te la loc. Dac\u0103 nu, oricum, \u00een apropierea lui, \u021bi-e de prisos, de fapt, e chiar periculos s-o ai. E un control freak, o brut\u0103, un Reteaz\u0103 Replici (RR), n-accept\u0103 nici cea mai mic\u0103 sugestie. Doar lobotomizat s\u0103 fii, s\u0103 rezi\u0219ti \u00een preajma lui.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Fragment din eseul &#8220;Unde-s doi, puterea cre\u0219te (sau dimpotriv\u0103)&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Am presim\u021birea pozitiv\u0103 c\u0103, \u00eentr-o via\u021b\u0103 viitoare, voi avea parte de rela\u021bia romantic\u0103 la care visez de trei decenii. Ea m\u0103 a\u0219tept\u0103 \u00eentr-o via\u021b\u0103 viitoare. Ea este acolo, presimt.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Faralfil \u00ee\u0219i face planuri, adic\u0103 \u00eenfrunt\u0103 necunoscutul; mai degrab\u0103, viseaz\u0103 cu ochii \u00een tavan<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Dup\u0103 izolare, suntem galbeni tare,<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Niciun motiv de \u00eengrijorare!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Soarele nu mu\u0219c\u0103, plimbarea nu doare!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ie\u0219im la o plimbare \u00een soare!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Din eseul &#8220;Oglindirea pandemiei \u00een literatura publicitar-sanitar\u0103&#8221;; catren publicitar sanitar<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Ce simte scriitorul c\u00e2nd scrie? Care e senza\u021bia \u00een fa\u021ba subiectelor mari?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Este o senza\u021bie unic\u0103, special\u0103: aceea c\u0103 atac\u0103 poarta unui castel medieval, \u00eenarmat cu un baros de gum\u0103!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-O!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Da! Exact. O!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Fragment din interviul dat de Bandan publica\u021biei &#8220;Cronica literar-pandemic\u0103&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat? De ce urli? Mazunda Vundu se apropia de el, cu aripile lui negre de liliac \u00eemp\u0103turite peste piept, parc\u0103 legat \u00een c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 de for\u021b\u0103, cu aerul unui aristocrat captiv \u00eentr-o uniform\u0103 \u00een\u021bepenit\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Mentorul meu a disp\u0103rut! Babal Tubaloff! Unde e\u0219ti? Baabaaaal! strig\u0103 Bandan, c\u00e2t \u00eel \u021bineau coardele.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Fii calm! \u0218tii ce? Cred c\u0103 l-a \u00eenghi\u021bit norocul. Ascult\u0103&#8230;auzi? E fo\u0219netul ca\u0219alotului serafic. F\u0219\u0219\u0219t. Auzi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">O creatur\u0103 mare \u0219i bl\u00e2nd\u0103, venit\u0103 din gr\u0103dinile Likeleiei de Sus (aici Mazunda \u00ee\u0219i deschise brusc bra\u021bele de piele \u0219i os, pentru elocven\u021b\u0103 \u0219i efect, iar c\u00e2teva fantome de smog, trezite, dansar\u0103 \u00een jurul lui). La o migra\u021bie de krill peste Foburg, ei simt \u0219i coboar\u0103, ca\u0219alo\u021bii serafici. E o \u0219ans\u0103 unic\u0103! \u00cen\u021belegi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Deloc!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Va fi regurgitat \u00eentr-una din Likeleile Superioare, unde va fi primit \u0219i adulat ca mesager divin, c\u0103l\u0103tor f\u0103r\u0103 voie, prad\u0103 a destinului, rod al revela\u021biei, hran\u0103 a zeilor, turist serafic, cum vrei s\u0103 spui. I-a pus Marele Kakadu Ceresc aripa \u00een cap. Pentru el, de aici \u00eenainte, numai raiul!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-E\u0219ti sigur? \u00eentreb\u0103 Bandan, incredul.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-A\u0219a se vorbe\u0219te.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Dar dac\u0103 ajunge \u00een mla\u0219tin\u0103? Va supravie\u021bui?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Uite-te la mine, \u00ee\u021bi par un delicat? Nu, sper. Eu, a\u0219a cum m\u0103 vezi, echipat de zbor, cu gheare de grifon, col\u021bi de dragon, coarne Falconeri, armur\u0103 solzoas\u0103 \u0219i coad\u0103 ghimpoas\u0103, am fugit din mla\u0219tin\u0103, pentru c\u0103 nu mai puteam tr\u0103i acolo! Im-po-si-bil. Prea mult\u0103 violen\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">A\u0219 zice c\u0103 el n-ar supravie\u021bui nicio zi.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Mazunda Vundu vrea s\u0103-l lege \u00eentr-o prietenie pe Bandan; nu \u0219tim \u00een ce scop, dar vom afla cur\u00e2nd<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-E adev\u0103rat ce am auzit, c-ai fi un Proteus de balt\u0103? \u00eentreb\u0103 Bandan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Dac\u0103 \u021bi-a\u0219 spune cine sunt, \u00eent\u00e2lnirea noastr\u0103 n-ar mai avea niciun haz, r\u0103spunse Mazunda Vundu.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Dialog \u00eentre naivul emigrant Bandan \u0219i creatura numit\u0103 Mazunda Vundu<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Sunt puricele din blana \u0219in\u0219ilei, sunt vrabia prins\u0103 \u00een sacul cumulonimbus, cusut ne\u00eencetat de acul iute al fulgerelor&#8230;&#8221; formul\u0103 Bandan, cu suficient\u0103 art\u0103, ecua\u021bia situa\u021biei \u00een care se afla, de\u0219i, mai degrab\u0103, sim\u021bea c\u0103 e un \u0219oim, un v\u00e2nturel de sear\u0103, tot pipirig, dar cu gheare \u0219i cioc \u00eendoit, capabil s\u0103 se apere, dac\u0103 ceva ar fi ap\u0103rut din negur\u0103, o amenin\u021bare, dar nu era dec\u00e2t golul, sunetul de vapor scos de tuba lui Babal, \u0219i vocea lui care striga \u00eencuraj\u0103ri:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Veloce! Veloce! Bhuuaa! Bhuuaa! Veloce! &#8230;eloce! &#8230;uaaa! Brrruuum! Brrruuum!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">E aproape, \u00eenc\u0103 sunt pe urmele lui, \u00eenc\u0103 nu l-am pierdut, se felicita Bandan, \u00een plin\u0103 alergare. Eu sunt Bandan Alerg\u0103torul, veloce, veloce. Piciorul ora\u0219ului e mai aproape cu fiecare clip\u0103, probabil. Apoi, c\u00e2nd nu mai auzea nimic, ra\u021biunea i se f\u0103cea, dintr-o dat\u0103, mic\u0103 de tot, \u00eenecat\u0103 \u00een sarea spaimei (sudoare \u0219i lacrimi, s\u00e2nge), arcul anxiet\u0103\u021bii vibra \u00een pieptul lui, titirezul ascu\u021bit al fricii dansa cercuri dureroase \u00een cap, amor\u021beala confuziei \u00eel \u00eembiba \u0219i-l desf\u0103cea ca pe un pi\u0219cot \u00een ceai.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Surprinz\u0103tor, eroul reu\u0219ea, cu o parte a min\u021bii, s\u0103 critice textul care se aglomera pe urmele sale \u0219i i se acumula \u00een memorie, unde se depunea ca nisipul fin sub mare, despre cum va descrie, cur\u00e2nd, aventurile lui, \u00eentr-un pergament, pe care-l va \u00eenchina zeului Pangol, iar acesta \u00eei va r\u0103spl\u0103ti efortul \u0219i-l va propulsa \u00een Likeleile Superioare, unde via\u021ba merita tr\u0103it\u0103, pentru c\u0103 era un fruct dulce \u0219i zemos, nu putregai de poam\u0103 amar\u0103, ca aici, sau ca \u00eenainte, \u0219i descria aventura chinuitoare \u0219i r\u0103s-am\u00e2nat\u0103 \u00een care se afla b\u0103gat, \u0219i \u00eenjura printre din\u021bi Marele Kakadu Ceresc (MKC), prin a c\u0103rui lucr\u0103tur\u0103 labirintic\u0103 r\u0103t\u0103cea, MKC, tata la to\u021bi \u0219i la toate, vorba indigenului.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Deodat\u0103, \u00eel z\u0103ri pe Babal, \u00een centrul unei erup\u021bii de sc\u00e2ntei, a c\u0103rei lumin\u0103 spectral\u0103 se reflecta \u00een pavilionul de alam\u0103 \u0219i-n inelul \u00een care ghidul lui se afla introdus, \u0219i str\u0103pungea gogoa\u0219a de smog, p\u00e2n\u0103 la el. Aha! calcul\u0103 Bandan. Aha! &#8216;Ot\u0103-l ia!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I s-a tocit guma t\u0103lpilor, acum alearg\u0103 pe \u021bintele bocancilor, probabil, g\u00e2ndi el, dar nu era sigur c\u0103 a\u0219a stau lucrurile, cuno\u0219tin\u021bele sale de cizm\u0103rie erau slabe, vagi. Un nou roi lic\u0103ritor \u0219i p\u00e2r\u00e2itor ap\u0103ru, iar \u00een centrul lui, Babal lansat, \u00eens\u0103, de data asta, Bandan \u00eei v\u0103zu clar \u0219i fa\u021ba, pe care citi o mare mirare. Uluire?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Alearg\u0103 de-i sf\u00e2r\u00e2ie c\u0103lc\u00e2iele, la propriu, ha-ha, se amuz\u0103 un pic, ilicit, Bandan, de performan\u021ba mentorului s\u0103u.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Apoi, \u00eel lovi o idee bizar\u0103. Ce tip de smog o fi \u0103sta? Nu discutaser\u0103 problema. Dup\u0103 madam Gogoya, patru feluri de neguri se ab\u0103teau \u00een mod regulat peste Foburg: ce\u021buri de mla\u0219tin\u0103, care purtau toxine psihotrope emanate de astrofit\u0103, nori cele\u0219ti boga\u021bi \u00een krill microscopic, un soi de man\u0103, care ajungea \u00een s\u00e2nge \u0219i cur\u0103\u021ba pere\u021bii vasculari, smog industrial puturos, \u0219i cea\u021ba banal\u0103 din sud, ridicat\u0103 din marile lacuri s\u0103rate.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ce tip o fi \u0103sta? se interog\u0103 el. E foarte dens \u0219i foarte l\u0103ptos, iar pe limb\u0103 las\u0103 un gust s\u0103rat, evalu\u0103 cu aten\u021bie. Hm! S\u0103 fie man\u0103 din Likeleia da Sus, de la MKC (Emkasi)? Posibil.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Mirosul \u00eens\u0103 are un iz carbonifer. S\u0103 fie emana\u021bii de uzin\u0103?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Aceast\u0103 posibilitate \u00eei d\u0103dea fiori, pentru c\u0103 tot Madam Gogoya \u00eei povestise c\u0103 acest tip particular de smog putea fi extrem de inflamabil, \u00een unele por\u021biuni ale sale.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Fii atent, mari explozii se propag\u0103 \u00een Foburg, uneori, \u00eel avertizase ea. E cumplit! Dac\u0103 auzi un bum! \u0219i vezi o mare lumin\u0103, arunc\u0103-te rapid \u00eentr-o gaur\u0103, \u00eentr-o ni\u0219\u0103, sunt peste tot, ie\u0219irile spre subteran. Fere\u0219te-\u021bi privirea, acoper\u0103-\u021bi capul, sau vei orbi! \u00eei spusese gazda, dornic\u0103 s\u0103-l protejeze, s\u0103-l alarmeze sau s\u0103-l \u00eenfrico\u0219eze, nu era clar.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Dac\u0103 vrea s\u0103 scape de mine, emigrant naiv cum sunt, e destul s\u0103-mi dea c\u00e2teva informa\u021bii gre\u0219ite, \u0219i-mi fac felul singur, \u00eemi vin de hac din ignoran\u021b\u0103, mai calcul\u0103 el, c\u0103ruia, dintr-o dat\u0103, ideea s\u0103 se bage \u00eentr-o grot\u0103 s\u0103pat\u0103 de cine \u0219tie ce lighioan\u0103 mutant\u0103 i se p\u0103rea nebuneasc\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00a0<em>Mottojurnal<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eCam mult\u0103 dram\u0103 \u00een via\u021ba mea&#8230;S-ar spune c\u0103 am voca\u021bie de fuf\u0103.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Esplandian, la un moment dat<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eAh! Civiliza\u021bia curc\u0103frip\u021bienilor! Ce confuzie&#8230;Regretabil!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Mamasboi Yomisdanus despre colonia \u00een care s-a n\u0103scut, a\u0219ezarea Curc\u0103 Fript\u0103, Tenebrosa, a treia planet\u0103 a stelei Lalibella<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201e\u00cen mintea lui Bandan \u00eencol\u021bi o fraz\u0103. Anume, \u00abNumele meu e prea exotic, cum a fost ob\u021binut, prin ce procedur\u0103? Iat\u0103, \u00een tot Foburgul nimeni nu angajeaz\u0103 Bandani. Mi se face pielea ca dup\u0103 jumuleal\u0103. Sau e jumulire? Dracu` limbii \u0219tie \u0219i numai el.\u00bb R\u0103sfoia o fi\u021buic\u0103 murdar\u0103 cu joburi. Unde numele lui nu ap\u0103rea nic\u0103ieri. Madam Gogoya i-o aruncase de sus, de la geamul ei. El \u00eei catapultase Visul Divei Stelare, un bax \u00eentreg. \u00cent\u00e2i o lovise \u00een frunte. La o parte, urlase. Nimerise gaura ferestrei. Gogoya zv\u00e2rlise fi\u021buica, care f\u00e2lf\u00e2ise p\u00e2n\u0103 la el. Na! strigase matroana. Caut\u0103-\u021bi de lucru, vacuola ta s-a comprimat, e c\u00e2t o cu\u0219c\u0103 de ogar! Laptele \u0219i mierea s-au \u00eentrerupt! Ai \u00eent\u00e2rziat. \u00cen fine, justific\u0103rile lui nu fuseser\u0103 conving\u0103toare sau nu contaser\u0103. Fii atent, totul e regulat de o m\u00e2n\u0103 divin\u0103, continuase ea. Nu produci, e\u0219ti expulzat. A\u0219 zice c\u0103 mai ai c\u00e2teva ore. M\u0103car ai un manuscris pus deoparte, \u00een caz c\u0103 se arat\u0103 v`un inspector sau simandicos? Bandan mimase grea\u021ba, Gogoya gesticulase a lehamite, \u0219i asta fusese tot. D\u0103du pagina. Noi coloane de joburi scrise m\u0103runt, la care se zg\u00e2ia inutil. \u00abAngaj\u0103m personal pe nume Pavel sau Poftel, pentru activit\u0103\u021bi \u00een interiorul incintei, dar \u0219i \u00een exteriorul ei.\u00bb Pavel, hm. Unde scrie c\u0103 nu-s un Pavel? Mai departe. Ideea rebotez\u0103rii drept Pavel, sau Gornel, sau Rici, sau Bobi, sau Floxin, numele care ap\u0103reau cel mai des, i se ivi min\u021bii. \u0218i minciuna era o ipotez\u0103 de lucru. \u00abAngaj\u0103m Mugurei \u0219i Poftei inspectori de exterminare.\u00bb Nais! Mai mul\u021bi Poftel se zice Poftei&#8230;\u00abUrgent! Se caut\u0103 Dick pentru \u00eentre\u021binere bolt\u0103. Se cere permis de zbor la mic\u0103 altitudine.\u00bb Hm. \u00ab Angaj\u0103m Gornel, Milic\u0103 \u0219i Korin, \u00een num\u0103r mare, pentru opera\u021biuni speciale \u00een mla\u0219tin\u0103: v\u00e2n\u0103toare, recoltare, sec\u021bionare.\u00bb Thm! Elucubra\u021bii ezoterice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Bandan e homeless \u00een Foburg; \u00een fine, are o cu\u0219c\u0103 de ogar, dar nu pentru mult timp<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eDe la picioare p\u00e2n\u0103 la n\u0103ri (\u0219i mai departe, prin bulbul olfactiv, c\u0103tre cortexul mirosului din lobul temporal) se ridica un iz feros. Scorpia \u00eel ciupise \u0219i s\u00e2ngera. Ce-i b\u0103gase sub piele de-l m\u00e2nca tot piciorul a\u0219a cumplit? E\u0219ti arc\u0103 de microparazi\u021bi, n-ai \u00eendoial\u0103, m\u00e2r\u00e2i ideea la el. \u021ai-au infectat s\u00e2ngele, carnea, limfa, stratul adipos, fiecare dup\u0103 afinit\u0103\u021bi. Alte virusuri, alte bacterii. Diver\u0219i bacili. Plus cei \u00eenalt califica\u021bi, p\u0103 organe: pl\u0103m\u00e2ni, rinichi, fica\u021bi, creieri, organu` g\u00e2nditor, hipopotalamusul, organu` vorbitor, limba-parazi\u021bii limbii \u00ees printre cei mai insisten\u021bi. Microturism. Unde mergem? zic \u00een cor microbeii. Mergem p\u0103 Coasta Ficatului, zice Tata Microb. Ura! Chiria\u0219i, musafiri. Intra\u021bi sub epiderm\u0103 odat\u0103 cu balele scorpiei. Ori avea tromp\u0103? Tentacule cu secre\u021bii urzic\u0103toare. Col\u021bi? De unde s\u0103 \u0219tiu. Faun\u0103 de negur\u0103, alieni neprin\u0219i, nediseca\u021bi. Timid\u0103 creatur\u0103, \u00eel atacase doar la picioare. Pe gambe, mult, pe pulpe, pu\u021bin. M\u00e2nc\u0103rimea \u00eei \u00eentuneca min\u021bile. \u00cencepu s\u0103 se scarpine, de\u0219i \u00eenc\u0103 mai alerga.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Bandan e mu\u0219cat de o scorpie; norocul e de partea lui: putea fi \u00een\u021bepat de un morpion, \u00eenghi\u021bit de un ca\u0219alot serafic sau paralizat de flegma toxic\u0103 a \u021ba\u021belor, un soi de cobre aripate<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eEroismul e \u00een mine, dar nu se manifest\u0103. Ideea exist\u0103, \u00eens\u0103 nu poate fi exprimat\u0103. N-au fost inventate cuvintele, nici nu vor fi. Pentru c\u0103 e nevoie de fapte. Faralfil \u201eMamasboi\u201d Yomisdanus, autodeclarat cavaler al insulei Berbecula, protector narcisist al coloniei Curc\u0103 Fript\u0103 (dac\u0103 se uit\u0103 \u00een oglind\u0103, se vede astfel), se afl\u0103 \u00een impas. Pentru a st\u00e2rpi astrofita, hidra vegetal\u0103, balaurul clorofilic, dragonul fotosintetizator, caracati\u021ba cu frunze, co\u0219marul botanic, \u00een fine, etcetera, are nevoie s\u0103 se \u00eenfurie cumplit. Mai u\u0219or \u00eei vine s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 sau s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103. Cum s\u0103 se \u00eenfurie la comand\u0103. E necesar un eveniment complex care s\u0103 for\u021beze anumite glande s\u0103-\u0219i inoculeze secre\u021biile \u00een s\u00e2nge, circuitul de berserker din c\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2n\u0103 tre` activat. Auzea clar fo\u0219netul dihaniei. \u00cel sim\u021bise. \u00cel a\u0219tepta. Prin gurile de aerisire ale micului beci \u00een care se afla, Mamasboi v\u0103zu cum curgeau primele pic\u0103turi din seva mucilaginoas\u0103 a astrofitei. Verde \u00eenchis, nu galben. Galben \u00eensemna sf\u00e2r\u0219itul. Galben era arma hidrei, spuma mutagen\u0103 care absorbea tot ce era f\u0103ptur\u0103 vie, animal, \u0219i-l includea \u00een regnul astrofitei, despre care se spusese la \u00eenceput c\u0103 era vegetal, dar tot mai mul\u021bi se \u00eendoiau de asta, \u00een prezent. \u201eE o arm\u0103, arma total\u0103, e un demon creat \u00een laborator sau descoperit \u00een nesf\u00e2r\u0219itele mla\u0219tini ale Tenebrosei (Antica Terra), e o calamitate cu care nu ne putem m\u0103sura\u201d umbla vorba. Oficialii, orbii la putere, pentru care unul ca Faralfil era carne de sacrificiu, \u00eenc\u0103 mai vorbeau popula\u021biei, prin canalul de \u0219tiri oficial, de o \u201especie invaziv\u0103 care va fi eradicat\u0103 \u00een cel mai scurt timp\u201d. M\u0103surile luate vorbeau \u00eens\u0103 despre altceva, pe o alt\u0103 not\u0103, strident\u0103: periferiile infestate fuseser\u0103 intens bombardate, parcuri fuseser\u0103 atacate cu tancuri \u0219i arunc\u0103toare de fl\u0103c\u0103ri, coloane de infanteri\u0219ti \u00eenarma\u021bi cu t\u00e2rn\u0103coape \u0219i h\u00e2rle\u021be defilau prin toat\u0103 a\u0219ezarea, trimi\u0219i s\u0103 dezgroape \u0219i s\u0103 distrug\u0103 r\u0103d\u0103cinile astrofitei, dimpreun\u0103 cu utilaje magnifice de s\u0103pat \u0219i chiar artificieri, dac\u0103 situa\u021bia o cerea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00centr-un loc din perete, seva curgea deja \u00eentr-un fir gros \u0219i se umfla spre picioarele lui, forma o b\u0103ltoac\u0103. Cu c\u00e2t a\u0219tep\u021bi mai mult, cu at\u00e2t \u0219ansele de victorie scad, \u00eei vorbea monoton o voce \u00een cap. Astrofita nu se va opri din cre\u0219tere. Ie\u0219i acum, imediat, poate nu \u0219i-a \u00eengro\u0219at tulpina, poate nu \u0219i-a \u00eenmul\u021bit c\u00e2rceii venino\u0219i, poate n-are mai mult de trei flori carnivore, adev\u0103rate capete de balaur, greu de anihilat. Trebuie s-o faci ca s\u0103 opre\u0219ti caravelele sporocarpe s\u0103 se apropie: odata spuma mutagen\u0103 rev\u0103rsat\u0103, totul era terminat pentru el \u0219i viet\u0103\u021bile lui.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Voin\u021ba lui Faralfil porne\u0219te greu; un tur de manivel\u0103 nu ajunge; ca s\u0103 porneasc\u0103, tre` s\u0103 se \u00eendoape cu argumente<\/em> <em>mai \u00eent\u00e2i; grea\u021ba spaimei \u00eei r\u0103suce\u0219te m\u0103runtaiele, \u00eentre timp<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Din eseul \u201ePogor\u00e2rea civiliza\u021biei peste marginea lumii: amenajarea coloniei fantom\u0103\u201d; autor ing. Margarin Marmeladov, strateg \u0219i tat\u0103 al tinerei na\u021bii insulare, curc\u0103frip\u021bienii:<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eAmenajarea satului fantom\u0103 progreseaz\u0103. Pa\u0219ii care s-au f\u0103cut sunt:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">1.Suprimarea florei superflue<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">2.Suprimarea faunei superflue (parazi\u021bi)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">3.Eradicarea c\u00e2rti\u021belor (important)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">4.Excavarea orizontal\u0103<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">5.Excavarea vertical\u0103<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">6.Excavarea \u00een spiral\u0103<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">7.Aplatizarea<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">8.Sf\u00e2rtecarea peisajului \u00eenalt\/ Cutremurarea<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">9.Eliminarea optic\u0103 a cerului<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">10.Smolirea<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">11.Gazarea (gaze arse)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">12.Alte emana\u021bii\/al\u021bi emana\u021bi<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">13.Deversarea Stixului peste a\u0219ezare\/pestilen\u021bializarea a\u0219ez\u0103rii<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">14.Lansarea la ap\u0103 a bacului Charon; croaziere \u00eentre t\u0103r\u00e2muri<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">15.Binecuv\u00e2ntarea opera\u021biunii: lansarea unui obuz cu confetti sfin\u021bite din turela templului (turela bisericii)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">16.Vizitarea sitului de gudron; festin antropofag; invita\u021bi: pulpo\u0219ii \u0219i pulpoasele oficiale; miero\u0219ii \u0219i mieroasele; al\u021bi birocra\u021bi<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">17.Agonia supravie\u021buitorilor<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eCum s\u0103-l descriu mai bine? Se poate spune despre el, Mamasboi, c\u0103 apari\u021biile lui erau mai mult dispari\u021bii, la drept vorbind, \u00een sensul c\u0103 to\u021bi sau majoritatea, nu \u0219tiu exact, dar mul\u021bi, cei mai mul\u021bi cu siguran\u021b\u0103, erau dezgusta\u021bi, \u00eentr-un fel, la vederea lui, \u0219i se gr\u0103beau s\u0103 uite momentul, \u00eentorceau capul din reflex, nest\u0103p\u00e2ni\u021bi, iar el primea \u00een plin valul de r\u0103ceal\u0103 ostil\u0103&#8230;Fiecare apari\u021bie public\u0103 a lui Mamasboi era, \u00een acela\u0219i timp, chiar mai mult, dispari\u021bie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Un portret al lui F.M. Yomisdanus f\u0103cut de un vechi coleg, acum realizat (dup\u0103 ce \u0219i-a ref\u0103cut via\u021ba \u00een urma unei bascul\u0103ri \u00een abis)<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;A\u0219a arat\u0103 un om m\u00e2ncat de fluturi! zisei B\u0103g\u0103re\u021b \u00cenfiptu&#8217;, biolog, triolog, tetraolog\/quadrolog \u0219i pentaolog, cu degetul \u00eenfipt, cum fac to\u021bi fir\u0103sco\u0219ii (adic\u0103 \u00eenfig degetul, sunt \u00eenfig\u0103tori ai degetului \u00een timp ce gura le \u00eempu\u0219c\u0103 numa&#8217; trasoare cu pilde \u0219i t\u00e2lcuri)\u00a0 \u00een imaginea trist\u0103 a unor zdren\u021be care at\u00e2rnau peste un cuib de oase sparte.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Carne? \u00eentreb\u0103 Mamasboi.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-N\u021b. Nicio carne r\u0103mas\u0103. Suc\u021biunea perfect\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Cum s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat? fu el curios, ca s\u0103 fac\u0103 pl\u0103cere lu&#8217; B\u0103g\u0103re\u021b.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-A purtat haine ro\u0219ii. Tiranofluturii atac\u0103 imediat ro\u0219ul, de fapt, tot ce e culoare vie, dar mai ales ro\u0219ul \u00eei scoate din min\u021bi. De aceea eu port haine gri.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Dar verde e bun? Adic\u0103, m\u0103 rog, e pretutindeni. Nu v\u0103d cum&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Tu mai vezi coroan\u0103 pe copac? Au sf\u00e2\u0219iat tot. Nu, \u0219i verdele e periculos. Am v\u0103zut cu ochii mei cum fluturii behemot, \u0219tii, cei mai mici un pic, au lovit o basculant\u0103 verde p\u00e2n\u0103 ce n-a mai r\u0103mas nimic din ea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Hm. O s\u0103-mi caut haine gri \u0219i eu, cred.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-\u0218i sacii de c\u00e2nep\u0103 sunt buni, p\u00e2n\u0103 una-alta, s\u0103 \u0219tii.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-O! Mersi de pont.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Mamasboi discut\u0103 cu B\u0103g\u0103re\u021b \u00cenfiptu&#8217;, care e cam mincinos din fire, \u0219i extrem de bine informat; a citit, odat\u0103, \u00een tinere\u021bea lui, o carte! \u0219i de atunci e doct, bag\u0103 de\u0219tu&#8217; \u00een ochi la to\u021bi, c\u0103-s nerozi<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Text lips\u0103 (autor confuz)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;B\u0103i, b\u0103i, b\u0103i! B\u0103 b\u0103iatule! Ai-ai, plimb\u0103 virusu&#8217; d&#8217;aci! Ai, aai m\u0103\u0103, &#8216;ca\u021bi-aa\u0219! \u021a&#8217;iau fa\u021ba-n \u0219uturi! B\u0103\u0103! Vrei BOMBEE la os?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Bandan e izgonit din Klubu&#8217; Kreatorilor Klasici din Foburg de c\u0103tre un erudit<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Eu \u00eemi \u00eencep diminea\u021ba cu un r\u0103cnet, dup\u0103 care prepar cafea. R\u0103cnetul Zorilor. Se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 zbier din a\u0219ternut, ba chiar, uneori, m\u0103 trezesc cu el pe buze, ca s\u0103 zic a\u0219a. Trezirea cu urlet la realitate. \u00cen orele care urmeaz\u0103, pot scoate r\u0103cnete de r\u0103corire, depinde, rar sau des. Acestea sunt mai mici. Urmeaz\u0103 Marele R\u0103cnet de Pr\u00e2nz, \u00eenainte de mas\u0103. Acesta este chiar astronomic. \u0218i e crucial, deja ororile de peste zi \u00eemi fractureaz\u0103 grumazu&#8217;, iar ziua este Abia la Jum\u0103tate! Abia la Jumate! Am chipu&#8217; mototolit, e o pung\u0103 de h\u00e2rtie strivit\u0103 \u00een pumn, chinu&#8217; grimaselor m\u0103 r\u0103pune. Vin alte r\u0103cnete, unele mute. Somnul de frumuse\u021be m\u0103 r\u0103pune undeva \u00eentre 15.00 \u0219i 17.00, dar sunt la job \u0219i abordez o postur\u0103 alert\u0103. Nimeni nu observ\u0103, to\u021bi consult\u0103 ceasul \u0219i zodiacul, t\u0103lpile murdare. Ce le mai rezerv\u0103 ziua? M\u0103 trezesc, ridurile se destind \u00eentre timp, doar pungile tr\u0103d\u0103toare de sub ochi arat\u0103 prin ce am trecut. Nimeni nu judec\u0103, to\u021bi trop\u0103ie deja \u00een staul. Apoi suntem elibera\u021bi. Mu, be, nihaha, iha-ham. Sunt fum de obosit. R\u0103cnetele solicit\u0103. Zeii aud, te men\u021bii pe hart\u0103. Ei noteaz\u0103 fiecare izbucnire. A\u0219a te afirmi, zbori ca o floare tras\u0103 din tun, dispari \u00een m\u0103t\u0103surile cerului. Auzi zumzetul cosmic, lepidopterele. Devii mai bun. Revii \u00eentremat \u0219i motivat. \u00centre 20.00 \u0219i 21.00 survine Marele R\u0103cnet de Sear\u0103. Chiar dac\u0103 adorm, Marele R\u0103cnet Nocturn de la Miezu&#8217; Nop\u021bii-MRNMN-se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 de la sine, ca o polu\u021bie. Mai am \u0219i un vis \u00een care r\u0103cnesc mut \u00een fa\u021ba unei p\u0103duri p\u00e2n\u0103 ce copacii* se fr\u00e2ng. &#8220;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">*ce-co-fonie<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Virel Bacteriu face m\u0103rturisiri<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Citat din &#8220;Tratat asupra curcilor&#8221; de Margarin Marmeladov, capitolul &#8220;\u00centoarcerea curcilor migratoare&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Deci, curcile. Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 cea comun\u0103, cacofonic\u0103, glu-glu-glu, mai \u00eent\u00e2lnim \u00een insulele mla\u0219tinii Mustipal Ros o mul\u021bime de alte specii, dintre care majoritatea doar traverseaz\u0103 spa\u021biul aerian al coloniei nostre, Berbecula, c\u00e2teva \u0219i cuib\u0103resc aici-asupra acestora vom insista ulterior. Speciile de care vorbim sunt: curca gulerat\u0103, curca de scorbur\u0103, curca papagal, curca mexican\u0103, curca de balt\u0103, curca viilor, curca fluier\u0103toare, curca pitic\u0103, curca penelopa, curca lupt\u0103toare de tufi\u0219, curca rinocer, curca cu cap castaniu, curca de sem\u0103n\u0103tur\u0103, curca lingurar, curca nechez\u0103toare, curca de iarn\u0103, curca cu barb\u0103, curca alerg\u0103toare, curca cu ceafa galben\u0103, curca urecheat\u0103 nordic\u0103, curca furnicilor, curca cheal\u0103, curca p\u0103durii, curca \u021bepoas\u0103, curca \u00eenc\u0103l\u021bat\u0103, curca de pampas, curca de guano, curca cu glug\u0103, curca de palmier, curca roz, curca de stuf, curca cu ochelari chinez\u0103, curca gr\u0103dinar mieun\u0103toare, curca trompet\u0103 cu aripile verzi, curca c\u0103\u021b\u0103r\u0103toare, curca r\u00e2z\u0103toare african\u0103, curca pungar, curca sf\u00e2r\u00e2itoare, curca de mare bicolor\u0103, curca sur\u0103 de pustiu, curca cu ciuf c\u00e2r\u00e2itoare, curca f\u00e2lf\u00e2itoare, curca de furtun\u0103, curca ciocoas\u0103 albastr\u0103, curca de ciread\u0103, curca gladiator, curca lui darwin, curca flec\u0103ritoare, curca cu picioare scurte, curca septentrional\u0103, curca cu ochii ro\u0219ii, curca cu coada evantai, curca bivolilor, curca pescar, curca cu cioc de barz\u0103, plus curcanii aferen\u021bi.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;De c\u00e2nd cu molipsirea galben\u0103-sucu&#8217; mutagen al astrofitei trece imediat de la om la om, la o atingere, un str\u0103nut, o plesc\u0103ire-sectan\u021bii care cred c\u0103 astrofita \u00eei va m\u00e2ntui chiar au un slogan: Inhaleaz\u0103 cu toat\u0103 \u00eencrederea! Aspir\u0103, inspir\u0103! Izb\u0103virea e la un str\u0103nut distan\u021b\u0103! Prinde din aer stropii de saliv\u0103 eliberatori! asta ca fapt divers-spuneam, de c\u00e2nd cu molipsirea, \u0219i cu paranoia dictat\u0103 de sus, la respectarea c\u0103reia vegheaz\u0103 armata de geala\u021bi \u0219i g\u00e2zii, instaurarea st\u0103rii de paranoia-cei care, \u00een urma controlului medical, nu reies \u021bicni\u021bi, sunt interna\u021bi rapid la ne\/nebuni, \u00een fine, excesele sunt fire\u0219ti \u00een timp de buluceal\u0103, e bolboroseal\u0103, se bolborose\u0219te din plin \u0219i bolborositorii inund\u0103 spa\u021biu&#8217; ochilor beli\u021bi \u00een gol la ecrane, cu bulbucii lor savan\u021bi te fac s\u0103 clipe\u0219ti, geniile na\u021biei insulare scot cl\u0103buci prin toate orificiile, suntem salva\u021bi, dar spuneam, din nou, c\u0103 molipsirea \u0219i izolarea care a urmat au trezit instincte aproape animalice, mul\u021bi au \u00eenceput s\u0103 studieze capitolul supravie\u021buirii \u0219i au arborat steagu&#8217; negru pirateresc al priva\u021biunii furioase, \u0219i au sporit strategic jaful m\u0103runt, caracteristic speciei-simieni evolua\u021bi \u00een bandi\u021bi cu ra\u021biune-m\u00e2ini lungi au prins a se strecura pe sub garduri, picioroange peste, borte au ap\u0103rut, f\u00e2lf\u00e2iri nocturne, tropot, h\u0103m\u0103ial\u0103, iar casele p\u0103r\u0103site, s\u0103racele, au fost sf\u00e2rtecate, porumbeii din poduri h\u0103cui\u021bi, animalele r\u0103t\u0103cite luate cu japca, b\u0103gate la saramur\u0103.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Fragment din eseul &#8220;Hohot \u0219i delir \u00een paradisul vortex&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">(Textul e urm\u0103tor)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Mottojurnal<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Dumneata e\u0219ti un porcitor \u0219i vei scrie un grohman! url\u0103 simandicosu&#8217; Frik Pawergiank, Inspector Exterminator al Biroului Literar Pandemic. \u0218i ad\u0103ug\u0103, cu o mare salv\u0103 de stropi: Pricepi? (splash!) Nimic mai mult! Pricepi?(splash)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Dar am aplicat pentru postul de scricar, care este liber. Scrie aici, agit\u0103 el un cear\u0219af tip\u0103rit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Exclus. Grupele de mu\u0219chi nu corespund. Oasele nu au grosimea necesar\u0103, iat\u0103! Frik \u00eei b\u0103g\u0103 \u00een ochi c\u00e2teva schi\u021be anatomice adnotate cu ro\u0219u.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Bandan prime\u0219te lec\u021bii dup\u0103 lec\u021bii de la sulfuro\u0219ii kakistocra\u021bi ai ierarhiilor Foburgului<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;Pentru a fi luat \u00een serios, tre&#8217; s\u0103 ai gu\u0219a \u00een c\u00e2t mai multe falduri, chelie str\u0103lucitoare, musta\u021b\u0103, indiferent de model, implanturi la vedere, baston (m\u0103ciuc\u0103), p\u0103l\u0103rie colosal\u0103, cel pu\u021bin un ghiul, pe scurt s\u0103 ilustrezi ideea de cyborg modern, descins dintr-o Likeleie Superioar\u0103. Asta, sau protec\u021bia zeilor letargici, oricare dintre ei. &#8216;\u021aelegi?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Supersti\u021bie a lui Gornel Sfiorosu, care ar putea fi adev\u0103rat\u0103<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Ne afl\u0103m \u00eentr-un impas, calcul\u0103 Eohar.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Da, e o fund\u0103tur\u0103 de tip \u021barc, ne \u00eempresoar\u0103, \u00eel aprob\u0103 Calcumplit Nais\u0103midai Manole.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Nu avem op\u021biuni, mai zise el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Lipsesc variantele, veni confirmarea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Lucrurile sunt \u00eencurcate!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Creatorul e confuz!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-S\u0103-i spunem produc\u0103torul&#8230;Creator e&#8230;arhaism. E o paleovorb\u0103. Zace \u00eentre r\u0103m\u0103\u0219i\u021bele primilor maimu\u021boi.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Eul produc\u0103tor?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Desigur!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Suntem izola\u021bi.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Insulari.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Cea\u021ba se \u00eengroa\u0219\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ne scap\u0103 ceva.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Esen\u021bialul?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Din nefericire.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Suntem oare vinova\u021bi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ne st\u0103 \u00een natur\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Incomple\u021bi. Nesiguri.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-N\u021b-n\u021b!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-\u00cendoiala \u0219i dezaprobarea particulei. Frumos.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-N\u021b-n\u021b. E opinia mea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Arta interjec\u021biei. Dar nu o exprimi corect.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Poftim?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Mai mult \u021b din limb\u0103. Cu pu\u021bin\u0103 suc\u021biune. O plesc\u0103ire controlat\u0103. N-ul e \u0219ters.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-\u021a\u00ee-\u021b\u00ee?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Nu \u021b\u00ee-\u021b\u00ee! \u021a-\u021b! Plesc\u0103it. Cu participarea salivei. Sorbi aer prin din\u021bi, limba se opune, apoi cedeaz\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Nu explici pe \u00een\u021beles.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Mai exerseaz\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ne crampon\u0103m de nimicuri. Poate ai observat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ai dreptate. Observ.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-\u00centre timp, ne-am apropiat de precipiciu.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-E precipi\u021biu, cred!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Propun s\u0103 termini.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Hm.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ne pa\u0219te pu\u021bul. Precipiciul.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Aici nu sunt dubii. Pu\u021bul, corect.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Eu prefer pe &#8220;ci&#8221; lui &#8220;\u021b&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Gustul nu se discut\u0103!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Eohar \u0219i Manole \u00ee\u0219i omoar\u0103 timpul<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">&#8220;-Am o pild\u0103, \u00eencepu domnul Mazunda Vundu: un lup care a s\u0103rit peste c\u00e2teva mese-eu-\u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219te un godac roz-tu, de exemplu, s\u0103 zicem&#8230;pe un ostrov al mla\u0219tinii&#8230;sau chiar aici, la picior. Care pe care la frigare?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ai zis c\u0103 e o pild\u0103, da&#8217; e ghicitoare, coment\u0103 Bandan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-G\u00e2nde\u0219te-te! Nu cumva \u00ee\u021bi scap\u0103 esen\u021bialu&#8217;?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Mazunda Vundu e un monstru s\u00e2ngeros care prinde victima \u00een mrejele diploma\u021biei<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">(Str\u0103duin\u021b\u0103, n\u0103zuin\u021b\u0103: nicio satisfac\u021bie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">De ce. O. De ce.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Pen&#8217; c\u0103-s r\u0103u. Un parazaid\u0103r, un carcandil\u0103. Hain, infam, m\u00e2r\u0219av, fetid.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">(Brr! Ce g\u00e2nduri. Se aude un \u0219ipot.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">E o c\u0103dere de ap\u0103? Miroase oarecum. O fi canalizarea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Alerg, plutesc. V\u0103d sc\u00e2ntei sau stele.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">E\u00a0 r\u00e2ul alb, deosebit de parfumat. Scurgere din b\u0103ile superioare.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ne purific\u0103m pe categorii. \u00cemb\u0103ierea \u00een spum\u0103 second-hand.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Sus, \u00eenmiresma\u021bii. Apoi, \u00eemb\u0103t\u0103torii. Parfuma\u021bii.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Jos, dubio\u0219ii, vag mirositori. Ierarhia igienic\u0103. Accesu&#8217; la s\u0103pun.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Am krill \u00een spr\u00e2ncene. Eman miasme tropicale. Sunt \u00eencins.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">M\u0103 pr\u0103bu\u0219esc \u00een cl\u0103buci, m\u0103 sp\u0103l, m\u0103 refac.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Nicio problem\u0103. Bandan e ca nou. Numa&#8217; o eczem\u0103 ironic\u0103 \u00eei macin\u0103 dosu&#8217; m\u00e2inii drepte. I-a ap\u0103rut tocmai pen&#8217; c\u0103 e ipohondru: anxietatea de a nu se \u00eemboln\u0103vi i-a declan\u0219at-o. Nu e ciuperc\u0103, nu e mucegai: e ironie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Dar epuizarea este aproape. C\u00e2rcei dau t\u00e2rcoale pulpelor. Dispneea, a doua lui natur\u0103, devine u\u0219or incomod\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">O s\u0103 sar cu totul din balamale. Mai bine \u00eencetez!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">S\u0103 continue f\u0103r\u0103 mine. M\u0103 retrag \u00eencotro v\u0103d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bandan descoperi c\u0103 retragerea era imposibil\u0103. N-avea \u00eencotro, nu vedea niciunul.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Atunci din neguri r\u0103s\u0103ri, str\u0103lucitor, astrul mentorului s\u0103u, Babal Tubaloff.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">O structur\u0103 ciclopic\u0103 de metal \u00eel \u00eenso\u021bea, o \u00eempletire de grinzi uria\u0219e, iar mai sus un pavilion abia v\u0103zut prin noru&#8217; l\u0103ptos. \u00cenaintau lin spre el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Acesta este piciorul ora\u0219ului, Turefel! explic\u0103 Babal, apoi sufl\u0103 din instrument, s\u0103 sublinieze vorbele.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bandan f\u0103cu ochii mari. Ceva inform se t\u00e2ra la picioarele instrumentistului.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-E par\u021bial \u00eengropat, continu\u0103 Babal. Oper\u0103 a unui popor str\u0103vechi, de acum 15 milenii. Se b\u0103nuie\u0219te c\u0103 numele originar-Turefel- s-a p\u0103strat, de\u0219i limba a disp\u0103rut. P\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i numele limbii e disputat de cercet\u0103tori. Unii \u00eei spun frangalez\u0103, al\u021bii frarabez\u0103. Circul\u0103 \u0219i variantele frangolez\u0103, fanfarez\u0103, farsez\u0103. E complicat. O serie de cuvinte cu etimologie neclar\u0103 ar putea proveni din frangalez\u0103. E o ipotez\u0103. De exemplu: genune, ghimpe, ghiar\u0103, ghiont, mire, mireas\u0103, \u021burc\u0103, pup\u0103z\u0103, dul\u0103u. Etcetera. Turefel \u00eensemna \u00een frangalez\u0103 picior sau chiar pulp\u0103. E o posibilitate.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-O limb\u0103 at\u00e2t de veche \u00eenc\u00e2t i s-a pierdut \u0219i numele? \u00eentreb\u0103 Bandan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Da.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-M\u0103 \u00eenfior.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-E normal.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Un schelet metalic oxidat care poart\u0103 numele misterios dat acum 15 milenii de poporul disp\u0103rut care l-a construit. Turefel \u00een fanfarez\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-\u00centocmai.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Dar el cine e? Bandan indic\u0103 t\u00e2r\u00e2torul inform.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ah, el este Manuel. A rablagit. Rugina l-a descompus.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ba pe naiba, url\u0103 Manuel. Boule, am fost eviscerat! E un monstru \u00een tutungerie. Mi-a halit marfa!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Nu-l b\u0103ga \u00een seam\u0103, e defect. Era inevitabil s\u0103 se molipseasc\u0103: piciorul e un monument al oxid\u0103rii. Aproape auzi cum rugine\u0219te. Smogul mu\u0219c\u0103 din el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Manuel era un automaton de tip vechi, cu inteligen\u021b\u0103 sc\u0103zut\u0103. Bandan \u00eei vedea acum clar corpul sc\u00e2lciat, \u0219i capul metalic zg\u00e2riat \u0219i turtit. Se r\u0103sucea printr-o b\u0103ltoac\u0103 uleioas\u0103, probabil propriile &#8220;secre\u021bii&#8221;. Din abdomen \u00eei at\u00e2rnau furtuna\u0219e \u0219i resorturi. Ar\u0103ta ca lovit de tren.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-\u0218i de ce s\u0103 nu-l credem? zise el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Cine, Manuel? Khm. Dac\u0103 \u021bii neap\u0103rat, hai s\u0103-l credem. \u00cen tutungerie se afl\u0103 un monstru. Cum proced\u0103m?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Nu e orice monstru, url\u0103 Manuel. Sc\u00e2ntei \u00eei ie\u0219eau din gur\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Cum a\u0219a? se mir\u0103 Babal.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-E un Proteus de mla\u0219tin\u0103. Un demon \u00eenaripat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Imposibil. Nimeni nu \u0219tie mai bine ca mine creaturile Foburgului. Sunt, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 laud, un expert al faunei suburbane. R\u0103spicat o spun: nu exist\u0103 Proteus \u00een Foburg!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Vine de sus! Vine din Likeleia Inferioar\u0103!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Iar\u0103\u0219i, imposibil. Pe acolo nu se trece, nu un s\u0103lbatic.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Manuel ridic\u0103 bra\u021bul drept, estropiat, c\u0103tre cer. M\u00e2na \u00eei at\u00e2rna la cap\u0103tul unor cabluri, se f\u0103cea pumn \u0219i se desf\u0103cea, spasmodic. Din pieptul sf\u00e2\u0219iat se rostogolir\u0103 c\u00e2teva mici roti\u021be din\u021bate \u0219i o bil\u0103 aurie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ah! Vreau r\u0103zbunare, zise el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Babal f\u0103cu paravan cu palma la gur\u0103 \u0219i zise doar pentru Bandan:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-E o vechitur\u0103. Se teme c\u0103 n-o s\u0103 fie reparat. Pe bun\u0103 dreptate.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Chiar atunci, \u00een acel moment precis, Babal \u00ee\u0219i lu\u0103 zborul.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Hei, ce faci! url\u0103 Bandan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cenainte de a disp\u0103rea \u00een smog, i se p\u0103ru ca mentorul s\u0103u se zbate \u0219i love\u0219te furios. \u00cen ce? Nu se vedea nimic, \u00een afar\u0103 de p\u00e2nzele negurii mi\u0219cate de v\u00e2nt. At\u00e2ta era, doar boarea.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Mut de uimire, Bandan se \u00eentoarse spre Manuel. Acesta c\u0103zuse cu nasul \u00een pavaj. Nemi\u0219cat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ceva negru cobora din Turefel. Era un mare liliac monstruos.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">S\u0103ri \u0219i pluti. Avea gheare, aripi, o coad\u0103 \u0219erpuitoare. Un contur imprecis, de umbr\u0103 vie aruncat\u0103 de jocul fl\u0103c\u0103rilor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Sal&#8217;tare, zise creatura. Bandan fu pe loc tr\u0103znit de uimire. Epustuflant! \u00ee\u0219i zise el.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Faptul c\u0103 vorbea \u00eei d\u0103dea monstrului, ce bizar, un aer familiar. Probabil e latura lui proteic\u0103, \u0219tie s\u0103 se fac\u0103 pl\u0103cut, \u00een ciuda \u00eenf\u0103\u021bi\u0219\u0103rii, calcul\u0103 Bandan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Numele meu este domnul Mazunda Vundu. Fii lini\u0219tit, am g\u00e2nduri bune. Cel pu\u021bin urm\u0103toarele minute. Am vrut s\u0103 cobor mai repede, dar am presim\u021bit apropierea ca\u0219alotului serafic. Pfoileu, ce dihanie! L-ai mirosit?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ce? Nu, zise Bandan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-L-a luat pe trompetist chiar de sub ochii t\u0103i! Cum s\u0103 nu vezi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-A\u0219a e, am v\u0103zut c\u0103 zboar\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ah, ce detest rablele astea vorbitoare. Mazunda \u00eenfipse o ghear\u0103 imens\u0103 \u00een spinarea s\u0103rmanului Manuel, care \u00eencepuse s\u0103 geam\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Tu nu?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ce?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-H\u00e2rbu&#8217; \u0103sta, nu-l ur\u0103\u0219ti?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ba da, \u00eel ur\u0103sc.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">-Ah, ce g\u00e2ndac mizerabil. Monstrul r\u0103suci cle\u0219tele ascu\u021bit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Fa\u021ba lui \u00eenfior\u0103toare, vag uman\u0103, era de cruzime \u00eempietrit\u0103. Ochii galbeni cu pupile \u00eenguste \u00eei radiografiau \u0219i cele mai ascunse inten\u021bii.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Am \u00eencurcat-o, calcul\u0103 Bandan, simplu. Sudoarea \u00eei iriga abundent epiderma. Firi\u0219oare s\u0103rate coborau pe t\u00e2mple, frunte, ceaf\u0103, pe spate, coaste, pulpe. Din scalp \u00eei izvora artezian. Vezica \u00eei pulsa.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Am s\u0103 fac pe mine, socoti.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">#<\/p>\n<p>prima parte a acestui text poate fi <a href=\"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12910\">citit\u0103<\/a> \u00een <a href=\"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=12912\">EgoPHobia #62<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>~jur&#8217;noir~ de Ion-Daniel Pestrea &#8220;-Eu \u00eemi tr\u0103iesc visul, zise Faralfil. -Aici, \u00een Guano Land? se mir\u0103 Virel. -Aici. Guano e natur\u0103, e bios, e fertilis.&#8221; Fragment dintr-un dialog \u00eentre Faralfil Yomisdanus \u0219i vecinul s\u0103u, Virel Bacteriu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1450,83],"tags":[1451,1124,1419],"class_list":["post-13258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-65","category-experiment","tag-egophobia-65","tag-experiment","tag-ion-daniel-pestrea"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3rQ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13258"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13258\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13259,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13258\/revisions\/13259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}