{"id":13465,"date":"2021-03-10T01:03:58","date_gmt":"2021-03-09T23:03:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13465"},"modified":"2021-06-16T10:35:09","modified_gmt":"2021-06-16T08:35:09","slug":"singuratatea-rotii-de-rezerva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13465","title":{"rendered":"Singur\u0103tatea ro\u0163ii de rezerv\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/239493983831082\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.vgy.me\/0mbYab.png?w=812&#038;ssl=1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: green;\"> proz\u0103 selectat\u0103 din grupul \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/239493983831082\">Proz\u0103 \u015fi eseuri<\/a>\u201d &#8211; facebook [prima selec\u0163ie]<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">de Viktor Latunski<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Cum stau eu a\u015fa de comod \u00een habitaclul special conceput pentru mine, nu-mi pas\u0103 de faptul c\u0103 gumele alea, care se cred asemenea mie, n-au loc de parcare. N-au dec\u00eet s\u0103-\u015fi lase calea de rulare prin toate intersec\u0163iile \u015fi s\u0103 li se-nfig\u0103-n balon tot felul de s\u00eerme, cuie, \u015ftifturi, dibluri \u2013 c\u00eete-or fi pe marginea drumului. Aud c\u0103 guma din fa\u0163\u0103-dreapta mi-a lipit pe partea radial\u0103 apelativul de \u201ea cincea roat\u0103 la c\u0103ru\u0163\u0103\u201d (nici m\u0103car la ma\u015fin\u0103 \u2013 nota mea). Iar guma din st\u00eenga-fa\u0163\u0103 a \u00eenceput s\u0103 filosofeze pe tema locului de parcare. De, fiind ea roat\u0103 motrice \u015fi cea mai apropiat\u0103 de volan \u015fi de bipeda care confund\u0103 constant fr\u00eena cu accelera\u0163ia, se d\u0103 mai mereu laureat\u0103 a g\u00eendirii metafizice. Cic\u0103 ea r\u0103spunde \u00een cel mai prompt \u015fi sigur mod la schimbarea de direc\u0163ie \u015fi la noema (sau noima) suprem\u0103 &#8211; ni\u00b4la ea! C\u0103 uit\u0103 cum \u00een jurul meu se depoziteaz\u0103 toat\u0103 h\u00eer\u0163og\u0103raia, plus <em>laptopul <\/em>(din motive de siguran\u0163\u0103); \u015fi c\u0103 eu am acces la toate informa\u0163iile. Dar tot nu sunt a\u015fa de infatuat\u0103 \u015fi nici nu m\u0103 dau a\u015fa rotund\u0103, de\u015fi sunt mai echilibrat\u0103 \u015fi cu plumbii la zi. Ontologic vorbind, am de cele mai multe ori o \u00een\u0103l\u0163ime mai bun\u0103 a talonului, o serie mai curat\u0103, o omologare de mai mare durat\u0103 \u015fi fac parte dintr-o familie mai bun\u0103 de Tubeless.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Azi am avut parte de o experien\u0163\u0103 stranie \u015fi \u00een\u0103l\u0163\u0103toare \u00een acela\u015fi timp (care mi-a confirmat paradoxul lui Zenon). C\u00eend am fost extras\u0103 din \u201eloca\u0163ia\u201d mea \u015fi mi s-a imprimat o mi\u015fcare circular\u0103 c\u0103tre compresorul care, dup\u0103 cum spune \u015fi Plotin, este mijlocitor \u00eentre aerul rarefiat \u015fi aerul comprimat, eu am parcurs o distan\u0163\u0103 A zero. Pentru c\u0103 \u015foferi\u0163a a uitat s\u0103 trag\u0103 fr\u00eena de m\u00een\u0103, toate cele patru gume au parcurs \u015fi ele o distan\u0163\u0103 A unu. \u00cen timp ce eu parcurgeam o distan\u0163\u0103 A unu, celelalte gume poarcurgeau o distan\u021b\u0103 A doi ( \u0219i fenomenul se repeta la infinit \u015fi nu prea). Doar p\u00een\u0103 c\u00eend eu m-am oprit \u00een pozi\u0163ie vertical\u0103 \u015fi lipit\u0103 de compresor, care este \u201esufletul divin\u201d, iar nefericitele de gume s-au oprit \u015fi ele \u00een peretele atelierului de vulcanizare. Ca s\u0103 vede\u0163i la c\u00eet se reduce sensul vie\u0163ii, zbaterea, fuleul, rotirea milenar\u0103! \u015ei se mai spune c\u0103 roata de rezerv\u0103 este doar o form\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 fond, o existen\u0163\u0103 tern\u0103\u2026<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Darie Ridiche* spunea: \u201eCa s\u0103 mi\u015fc osia permanen\u021bei, trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103 asigur mai \u00eent\u00eei c\u0103 am o roat\u0103 de rezerv\u0103\u201d. Iar Marin Carcalete** \u00eei spune zilnic \u015fefului s\u0103u de atelier: \u201e\u015eefu\u00b4, nimic nu sl\u0103be\u015fte \u015fi nu distruge mai mult bacurile universului (sau ale universalului?) dec\u00eet o roat\u0103 prost echilibrat\u0103\u201d. Zic eu, este indicat s\u0103 mai adaug dou\u0103 citate. Primul, al p\u0103rintelui Arsenic de la Bisericu\u0163a dintr-un Arbore de Cauciuc: \u201eRoata lumii se-nv\u00eerte\u015fte\/ c\u00eet presiunea nu sl\u0103be\u015fte\u201d, iar altul apar\u0163in\u00eend unui poet contemporan, Ionu\u0163 Capdecauciuc: \u201eS\u00eentem n\u0103scu\u0163i din pan\u0103 de cauciuc artificial\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Constat cu regretabil\u0103 stupoare c\u0103, \u00een cele mai dese cazuri (\u015fi aici nu este vorba despre o cazuistic\u0103 \u00eendoielnic\u0103) nu se ia \u00een calcul conceptul de \u201erezerv\u0103\u201d. Fie c\u0103 este vorba despre rezerve (inter)na\u0163ionale, copii de rezerv\u0103, juc\u0103tori de rezerv\u0103, solu\u0163ii de rezerv\u0103, ro\u0163i de rezerv\u0103. Se omite mereu reglarea presiunii \u00een diverse principii sau fenomene \u015fi periodic se ajunge la o stare de presiune existen\u0163ial\u0103. Dreptu-i c\u0103 nici legiuitorul nu specific\u0103 \u201e\u00een clar\u201d obligativitatea echip\u0103rii celor enumerate de mai sus cu gume \u015fi solu\u0163ii de iarn\u0103 ori de criz\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Mai zilele trecute bipeda de la volan \u015fi-a uitat <em>laptopul <\/em>deschis \u00een portbagaj, a\u015fa c\u0103 am reu\u015fit s\u0103 intru pe \u201enet\u201d, de unde am aflat c\u0103 e \u00een \u201epan\u0103\u201d de inspira\u0163ie, nu \u015fi de transpira\u0163ie, elimin\u00eend ea, \u00een continuare, prin to\u0163i porii neuronali, tot felul de elucubra\u0163ii. Cred c\u0103 nu mai poate p\u0103stra aerul comprimat, are pori, fisuri, o fi \u015fi blond\u0103 re\u015fapat\u0103, cine \u015ftie? Vai de familia ei, c\u00eet or fi suferind \u015fi p\u0103rin\u0163ii ei\u2026 C\u0103 am mai auzit eu de un rege care avea trei fete cucuiate, nici una nu \u015ftia s\u0103 schimbe o roat\u0103 de rezerv\u0103, cum plecau din parcare cum chemau Asisten\u0163a Tehnic\u0103. Nu mai \u015ftiu ce fac ele, dar \u201ebabacul\u201d n-a ajuns de loc bine, \u015fi-ar fi dat toat\u0103 averea pentru un cal, pentru un cal, auzi\u0163i voi <em>dealeri <\/em>\u015fi <em>trilleri<\/em> auto?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce mi se dezv\u0103luie aceste adev\u0103ruri, \u00eencepe s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103luie un complex de inferioritate, chiar m\u0103 enervez de-a binelea. \u015ei m\u0103 g\u00eendesc cu nostalgie la \u00eenapoia\u015fele mele din anii 50 ai secolului trecut \u015fi la rolul pe care ar fi putut s\u0103-l aib\u0103 \u00een procesul de parcare. Chiar nu \u00een\u0163eleg de ce solu\u0163ia ro\u0163ii de rezerv\u0103 motrice \u015fi plasat\u0103 paralel\u0103 cu puntea din spate n-a prins \u00een practic\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Iosephus Michelinus Dunlop*** \u00een \u201eTratatul despre standarde\u201d despic\u0103 \u00een patru firele care compun \u0163es\u0103tura de baz\u0103 a unei gume \u015fi elaboreaz\u0103 o teorie original\u0103 despre roata de rezerv\u0103 (\u015fi despre rezerve, \u00een general). Firul conduc\u0103tor al teoriei este c\u0103 nu te g\u00eende\u015fti niciodat\u0103 la rezerv\u0103 p\u00een\u0103 c\u00eend nu ai nevoie de ea. Cum nici eu nu m\u0103 g\u00eendesc la Entitatea Suprem\u0103 de Cauciuc Natural, \u00eemi tr\u0103iesc via\u0163a \u00een artificial.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Dar \u015ftiu mai bine dec\u00eet gumele care se t\u00eer\u0103sc prin noroi c\u0103, odat\u0103 \u015fi odat\u0103, tot voi fi combustibil pentru \u00eenc\u0103lzirea bipezilor care vor ie\u015fi \u00een pie\u0163e \u015fi pe maidane, strig\u00eendu-\u015fi ne\u00eemplinirile din postura de ro\u0163i de rezerv\u0103. \u015ei n-o s\u0103 m\u0103 mai simt sigur\u0103, BEEP-ul ei de via\u0163\u0103, c\u0103 nicicum nu-i bine!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">##<\/p>\n<p>Note<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">* &#8211; filosof contemporan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">** &#8211; operator pe utilajul de echilibrare al ro\u0163ilor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">***- sociolog \u0219i politolog, originar din Danubiana, pe malul st\u00eeng al Universit\u0103\u0163ii Danubius<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>proz\u0103 selectat\u0103 din grupul \u201cProz\u0103 \u015fi eseuri\u201d &#8211; facebook [prima selec\u0163ie] de Viktor Latunski Cum stau eu a\u015fa de comod \u00een habitaclul special conceput pentru mine, nu-mi pas\u0103 de faptul c\u0103 gumele alea, care se cred asemenea mie, n-au loc de parcare. N-au dec\u00eet s\u0103-\u015fi lase calea de rulare prin toate intersec\u0163iile \u015fi s\u0103 li [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1452,15,1487],"tags":[1453,1115,1489,1492],"class_list":["post-13465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-66","category-proza","category-proza-eseuri-fb","tag-egophobia-66","tag-proza","tag-proza-eseuri-fb","tag-viktor-latunski"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3vb","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13465"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13465\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13624,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13465\/revisions\/13624"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}