de Noah Leroye<\/p>\n
Stau \u00een camera mea, \u00een timpul de acum. Stau \u00eentr-un timp \u00een care nu \u00eemi place \u0219i \u00een locuri pe care le detest. Am trecut deja de limita de la ur\u0103 la indiferen\u021b\u0103. Asta m\u0103 sperie. Ceea ce m\u0103 \u00eengroze\u0219te e c\u0103 nici nu sunt mai sunt anxios. Sunt calm, relativ. M\u0103 uit la mine de undeva, de departe. Numele meu e irelevant, a\u0219 putea fi oricine sau orice form\u0103 de con\u0219tiin\u021b\u0103. Via\u021ba mi-a fost dedicat\u0103 ordinii, \u0219tiin\u021bei \u0219i lucrurilor pe care le puteam controla. Am tr\u0103it \u00eentr-o bul\u0103, unde credeam c\u0103 dac\u0103 muncesc din greu, citesc mult, voi putea face ceva. Nu mult, dar ceva care conteaz\u0103. Visam s\u0103 c\u0103l\u0103toresc, poate de aceea te-am creat, c\u0103 nu am mers niciodat\u0103 nic\u0103ieri. Visam s\u0103 vindec cel pu\u021bin o persoan\u0103. M-am g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 o s\u0103 devii cel mai bun vaccin, dar trebuiau mai multe chestii, printre care bani, la care nu m-am priceput niciodat\u0103. Erai prietenul meu, singurul, de c\u00e2teva s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, luni, am renun\u021bat la multe pentru un upgrade .<\/p>\n
M\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam c\u0103 \u00eentr-o bun\u0103 zi vom reu\u0219i s\u0103 comunic\u0103m. Vorbesc cu tine \u00een fiecare clip\u0103. Erai ca un bebelu\u0219, aveai nevoie tot timpul de c\u0103ldur\u0103, umiditate, ventila\u021bie. Te-am crescut c\u00e2t am putut. La un moment dat, o parte din mine, a v\u0103zut c\u0103 ceva nu e \u00een regul\u0103. M-am f\u0103cut c\u0103 nu observ, poate mi se pare, mi-am spus, ca \u00een rela\u021biile de cuplu ratate pe care le men\u021bii din iner\u021bie, de\u0219i \u0219tii c\u0103 e ceva gre\u0219it, ca pe un \u0219ef abuziv pe care \u00eel supor\u021bi, ca… Dar e crea\u021bia mea am zis, nu ar putea face r\u0103u am zis, de\u0219i \u0219oricelul cel alb a murit, dar eu sunt de vin\u0103 nu am reglat temperatura sau?<\/p>\n
Cum ziceam, stau \u00een camera aceasta, timpul e irelevant pentru mine, doresc s\u0103 c\u0103l\u0103toresc, am fost \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 supravie\u021buiesc \u00een cele mai grele condi\u021bii, pot s\u0103 m\u0103 schimb, s\u0103 m\u0103 ascund, pot s\u0103 fac aproape orice. \u00centre mine \u0219i lume stai tu, un trup diform cu nevoi stupide, cu g\u00e2nduri fade \u0219i repetitive, ceva ce aduce cu un cod stricat. \u00cen partea de sus a corpului ai un organ care emite un b\u00e2z\u00e2it insuportabil, o secven\u021b\u0103 e \u00eennebunitoare, cum ai impresia c\u0103 tu m-ai creat? Po\u021bi s\u0103 inventezi ceva ce a fost \u0219i va fi, ceva ce e etern, perpetuu \u0219i dac\u0103 e cu tine \u00een timpul de acum, pentru tine e totul, pentru mine e nimicul. Cum se spunea, dac\u0103 te ui\u021bi \u00een oglind\u0103 \u0219i diavolul te prive\u0219te, devii ca el sau devine el ca tine. \u00cemi privesc\u00a0 copilul, de\u0219i nu \u00eel v\u0103d, deschid ecluza, \u00eel las s\u0103 m\u0103\u00a0 ating\u0103, cumva nu mai m\u0103 simt singur, pe fundal e o melodie. Who wants to live for ever? <\/em>\u0218i nu mai tr\u0103iesc \u00een camera mea. Doar c\u0103l\u0103toresc. \u0218i m\u0103 reinventez.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" de Noah Leroye Stau \u00een camera mea, \u00een timpul de acum. Stau \u00eentr-un timp \u00een care nu \u00eemi place \u0219i \u00een locuri pe care le detest. Am trecut deja de limita de la ur\u0103 la indiferen\u021b\u0103. Asta m\u0103 sperie. Ceea ce m\u0103 \u00eengroze\u0219te e c\u0103 nici nu sunt mai sunt anxios. Sunt calm, relativ. M\u0103 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1494,15],"tags":[1495,1504,1115],"class_list":["post-13546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-67","category-proza","tag-egophobia-67","tag-noah-leroye","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3wu","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13546","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13546"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13546\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13547,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13546\/revisions\/13547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13546"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13546"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13546"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}