{"id":13820,"date":"2021-09-10T08:27:02","date_gmt":"2021-09-10T06:27:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13820"},"modified":"2021-09-15T08:27:14","modified_gmt":"2021-09-15T06:27:14","slug":"si-copilul-va-imbatrani","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13820","title":{"rendered":"\u0218i copilul va \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2ni"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/239493983831082\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.vgy.me\/0mbYab.png?w=812&#038;ssl=1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: green;\"> proz\u0103 selectat\u0103 din grupul \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/239493983831082\">Proz\u0103 \u015fi eseuri<\/a>\u201d &#8211; facebook [a treia selec\u0163ie]<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">de Lucia Bibar\u0163<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">B\u0103tr\u00e2na s-a ar\u0103tat la geam.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Aproape invariabil la aceea\u0219i or\u0103. C\u00e2teva minute \u00een minus sau \u00een plus &#8211; g\u00e2ndi T\u00e2n\u0103rul. Avea mereu o min\u0103 fr\u0103m\u00e2ntat\u0103, mereu absent\u0103 din aceast\u0103 ac\u021biune pe care o f\u0103cea cu regularitate. \u201d\u0218i, nu \u0219tiu ce o mai fr\u0103m\u00e2nt\u0103, ce o mai poate preocupa, dintre cele lume\u0219ti, la v\u00e2rsta ei\u201d. Dac\u0103 o priveai, dac\u0103 o priveai din \u00eent\u00e2mplare, pentru c\u0103 \u021bi se v\u00e2ra, ca musculi\u021ba-n ochi, nu puteai, oric\u00e2t de mult te-ai fi sfor\u021bat, s\u0103 nu r\u0103m\u00e2i c\u00e2teva clipe m\u0103car asupra chipului ei palid, palid \u0219i pergamentos, de parc\u0103 te-ai fi a\u0219teptat \u00een fiecare clip\u0103 s\u0103 se sf\u0103r\u00e2mi\u021beze \u0219i s\u0103 cad\u0103 de pe craniu. \u0218i-l imagina. Un craniu uscat \u0219i decolorat, exact ca fa\u021ba femeii. Uneori, se \u00eentreba ce mai caut\u0103 pe la geamuri. Adic\u0103, la c\u00e2t de groaznic ar\u0103ta, chiar nu-\u021bi lipsea s-o z\u0103re\u0219ti. \u00cen primul r\u00e2nd c\u0103 \u00eengrozea \u0219i-n al doilea c\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi venea s\u0103-\u021bi scuipi \u00een s\u00e2n, ca s\u0103 nu te deochi sau s\u0103 p\u0103\u021be\u0219ti ceva r\u0103u. De cele mai multe ori nu te observa, de\u0219i distan\u021ba dintre blocuri era mic\u0103 \u0219i aproape c\u0103 te obliga s-o faci, fiind la acela\u0219i etaj. St\u0103tea acolo ca o mumie. P\u0103rea a fi pus\u0103 special la geam, ca sperietoarea pe c\u00e2mp, ca s\u0103 \u00eendep\u0103rteze ciorile \u0219i graurii. \u201dEu sunt un cioroi care e gata s\u0103-\u0219i ia zborul c\u00e2nd o vede! Dar, p\u0103\u021besc de fiecare dat\u0103 acela\u0219i lucru, nu m\u0103 pot \u00eendep\u0103rta f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 stau c\u00e2teva clipe s\u0103 o surprind, uneori a\u0219tept hipnotizat s\u0103 se holbeze \u0219i ea. \u00cenfiorarea pe care mi-o transmite prin privirea aceea aproape transparent\u0103, goal\u0103, m\u0103 determin\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 ascund dup\u0103 perdea sau chiar s\u0103 plec. Cu femeia asta p\u0103\u021besc ca \u0219i cu filmele de groaz\u0103, care m\u0103 atrag \u00eentr-un mod ciudat, de\u0219i nu-mi plac. \u00cen fa\u021ba ei m\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2nez s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n spun\u00e2ndu-mi: Ce s\u0103 fug, c\u0103 doar nu m\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 cadavrul \u0103sta ambulant! Ia s\u0103 v\u0103d m\u0103 observ\u0103, m\u0103 prinde? \u0218i dac\u0103 o face, ce? Mai mult nu poate! De ce m-a\u0219 teme?! O \u00eenfrunt. Mama ei de babah\u00e2rc\u0103&#8230;c\u0103 m\u0103 cutremur\u0103!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cel \u00eenfrico\u0219au culoarea \u0219i aspectul pielii, dar cel mai r\u0103u, \u021bintuirea pe care B\u0103tr\u00e2na o reu\u0219ea cu el. Nu \u0219tia cum, de\u0219i curajos de obicei, devenea \u0219ov\u0103ielnic \u0219i \u00eencremenit, c\u00e2nd femeia \u00ee\u0219i pironea uit\u0103tura asupra lui.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cen momentele acelea, oric\u00e2t de sc\u00e2rbit \u0219i \u00eengrozit ar fi fost, nu se putea mi\u0219ca, o l\u0103sa s\u0103-l str\u0103pung\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103-n creier, p\u00e2n\u0103-n inim\u0103. At\u00e2ta vreme c\u00e2t r\u0103m\u00e2nea acolo nemi\u0219cat, \u00een\u021bepenit, se pomenea c\u0103 inima \u00eei bate dezordonat. Avea dr\u0103coaica asta de b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103 ceva care-l confisca, c\u0103ruia nu i se putea sustrage. A\u0219a c\u0103, evita cu bun\u0103 \u0219tiin\u021b\u0103 ora fatidic\u0103. Uneori, \u00eens\u0103, o for\u021b\u0103 incontrolabil\u0103 \u00eel \u00eempingea la geam, ca \u00een a\u0219teptarea unei sentin\u021be. \u00ce\u0219i zicea c\u0103 el va controla lucrurile \u0219i de fiecare dat\u0103 pierdea control. Privirea aia! Ea era de vin\u0103 \u0218i de ce anume era at\u00e2t de greu de st\u0103p\u00e2nit? Totul p\u0103rea \u00een regul\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103-n momentul \u00een care-l fixa. Ceva straniu curgea din ea \u0219i-l \u00eencremenea. Degeaba se str\u0103duia s\u0103-o contracareze.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Cum nu g\u0103sea niciun r\u0103spuns \u00een interiorul lui, se retr\u0103gea de la geam sub pretextul c\u0103 are altceva mai bun de f\u0103cut. Dar sim\u021bea c\u0103 se minte. C\u0103 de fapt, teama era cea care-l \u00eendep\u0103rta. Ce naiba avea b\u0103tr\u00e2na asta cu el? Ce a adus-o aici, ce c\u0103uta la geam \u0219i mai ales ce voia de la el?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Plecat, \u00ee\u0219i amintea de ea \u0219i peste zi, dar vag. \u00cens\u0103 acas\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i f\u0103cuse, \u00een privin\u021ba ei, un reflex psihologic. Ora \u0219i reflexul. Ora \u0219i nelini\u0219tea. Ora \u0219i preocuparea. Oare azi se va uita la el?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Iat-o din nou. Cineva o implanteaz\u0103 acolo \u0219i o las\u0103 singur\u0103. N-a v\u0103zut niciodat\u0103 cine. Presupunea c\u0103 avea \u0219i ea pe cineva. Familie sau apar\u021bin\u0103tori. O p\u00e2ndea de dup\u0103 perdea. Purta mereu negru. Din cauza negrului, c\u00e2nepiul p\u0103rului \u0219i paloarea fe\u021bei p\u0103reau \u0219i mai intense. De altfel c\u00e2nd ap\u0103rea, nu observai altceva dec\u00e2t o form\u0103 \u00een alb-negru, ca \u00eentr-un crochiu de desen, mai accentuat executat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Pandemia asta s-o fi adus la geam, singur\u0103tatea, neputin\u021ba? Orice ar fi fost, nu conta. Conta doar imaginea ei funest\u0103 prezent\u0103 cu insisten\u021ba cu care se fac vizibili unii indezirabili. Adic\u0103, i se p\u0103rea injust ca pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 restric\u021biile impuse de autorit\u0103\u021bi, s\u0103 fie pedepsit \u0219i \u00een felul acesta. Era prea mult. Nu putea s\u0103 se adune cu prietenii, nu putea s\u0103 se bucure de compania lor, de ifosele tinere\u0219ti \u0219i de glumele lor de prost sau de bun gust, dar se \u201dbucura\u201d zilnic, necondi\u021bionat, ca de o pastil\u0103 de \u201dsoma\u201d sau de o \u021bigar\u0103 cu marijuana, de b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103. Marijuana era alegerea lui, p\u00e2n\u0103-n coad\u0103, dar baborni\u021ba asta prevestitoare de moarte ca o cucuvea, era premiul otr\u0103vit al anului \u0103stuia frustrant. Chiar era prea mult. Asta sim\u021bea! Bine, ar fi putut s\u0103 nu aleag\u0103 izolarea \u00een camera lui. Ei, asta-i acum, s\u0103 stea \u00een sufragerie cu familia, m\u0103 la\u0219i?! Nici chiar a\u0219a! Parc\u0103 necuratu` f\u0103cea glume proaste cu el! Nu era suficient\u0103 bazaconia asta de virus, despre care a auzit o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de pove\u0219ti morbide&#8230; Nu era suficient\u0103 starea asta groaznic\u0103 transmis\u0103 de adul\u021bi, zi de zi, cea de claustrare adus\u0103 de vie\u021buirea \u00een bloc, distan\u021ba prea mic\u0103 \u00eentre geamurile locatarilor de la un imobil la altul, care i se p\u0103rea de-a dreptul un atentat la intimitatea lui, c\u0103 iat\u0103, i se mai ad\u0103uga \u00eenc\u0103 un disconfort.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">N-a crezut niciodat\u0103 \u00een pove\u0219tile psihologilor legate de ap\u0103s\u0103rile, fobiile, atacurile de panic\u0103, agita\u021bia \u0219i psihozele despre care vorbeau continuu \u0219i pentru care luau bani buni! N-a crezut niciodat\u0103 dec\u00e2t \u00een ceea ce g\u00e2ndea \u0219i f\u0103cea el. Nicidecum \u00een ceva impus sau indus de al\u021bii. Dar&#8230; \u00een cazul B\u0103tr\u00e2nii, de\u0219i \u00eei venea greu s\u0103 accepte, era obsedat, da, \u0103sta e cuv\u00e2ntul! Obsedat! Ce s-ar mai bucura psihologii \u0219i psihiatrii s\u0103-l aud\u0103 c\u0103 recunoa\u0219te a\u0219a ceva. Da, dar recuno\u0219tea doar fa\u021b\u0103 de el \u00eensu\u0219i! Nici nu se putea g\u00e2ndi ce ar spune p\u0103rin\u021bii, dac\u0103 l-ar auzi vorbind despre&#8230;Sau amicii lui. No way!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, era b\u0103rbat. Ce s\u0103 se pl\u00e2ng\u0103?. Va trebui s\u0103 g\u0103seasc\u0103 o rezolvare.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u0218i din momentul \u00een care \u0219i-a formulat aceast\u0103 perspectiv\u0103, cea a rezolv\u0103rii, i-a \u00eencol\u021bit brusc \u00een minte ideea c\u0103 trebuie g\u0103sit\u0103 o cale de-a se elibera de obsesia asta, c\u0103, vrea nu vrea, el e obligat s\u0103 g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 una pe care s\u0103 o \u021bin\u0103 numai pentru el. Adic\u0103, nu s-ar fi f\u0103cut de r\u00e2s dac\u0103 ar fi povestit cuiva c\u0103 o nenorocit\u0103 de b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eel deranjeaz\u0103?! P\u0103i? S\u0103 fim serio\u0219i! Cu ce-l putea \u00eempiedica s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 o vecin\u0103 care nu trecea pragul locuin\u021bei ei? \u0218i totu\u0219i, uite c\u0103 \u00eel \u00eempiedica, \u0219i \u00eenc\u0103 nea\u0219teptat de mult.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Da, va lua m\u0103suri. Nu \u0219tia \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een ce fel, dar o va face. M\u00e2ine va \u00eencerca s\u0103 intre \u00een blocul de vis-\u00e0-vis. S\u0103 vad\u0103 unde st\u0103 B\u0103tr\u00e2na. La etajul 3, dar&#8230;s\u0103 vad\u0103 el ce \u0219i cum.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u0218i g\u00e2ndul acesta i-a desc\u0103tu\u0219at mintea pe loc.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Asta era! Deja se sim\u021bea mai bine. Da\u2019 mult i-a mai trebuit! C\u00e2nd solu\u021bia era at\u00e2t de simpl\u0103, at\u00e2t de la-ndem\u00e2n\u0103. Acum abia a\u0219tepta ziua de m\u00e2ine, ziua libert\u0103\u021bii lui. Chiar a\u0219a va fi! Liber. Nu at\u00e2t precum \u0219i-ar dori, dar nu se va compara cu ceea ce avea acum. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, libertatea asta \u021bine \u0219i de tine, de deciziile tale. Nu se spune c\u0103 dormi cum \u00ee\u021bi a\u0219terni? Pentru prima oar\u0103 \u00een via\u021b\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i va a\u0219terne el cum dorea, ca s\u0103 doarm\u0103 bine. Z\u00e2mbi enigmatic \u0219i satisf\u0103cut.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">A doua zi, a sim\u021bit \u00eencordarea de-a fi singur. Ca niciodat\u0103 era ner\u0103bd\u0103tor s\u0103-\u0219i z\u0103reasc\u0103 vecina \u00een vitrin\u0103. \u0218tia c\u0103 nu e \u00eenc\u0103 vremea, dar p\u00e2ndea de dup\u0103 perdea, de c\u00e2te ori \u00ee\u0219i aducea aminte. P\u00e2n\u0103 s-a f\u0103cut vremea. Statura pu\u021bin\u0103, adus\u0103, fragil\u0103, supt\u0103\u2026se afla acolo. T\u00e2n\u0103rul nu \u0219i-a ridicat ochii spre chipul ei \u0219i nici spre privirea aceea care-l scotea din min\u021bi. A r\u0103mas pe umeri. Apoi s-a ridicat de pe scaun. S-a \u00eembr\u0103cat cu r\u0103bdare. A mai dat o rait\u0103 prin apartament s\u0103 se asigure c\u0103 nu era nimeni. S-a \u00eendreptat spre buc\u0103t\u0103rie \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se mai uite pe geam a sim\u021bit-o acolo. \u0218i-a strecurat \u00een buzunarul larg al pantalonilor un cu\u021bit \u0219i s-a \u00eenc\u0103l\u021bat. Apoi, ca-ntr-o b\u0103nuial\u0103, s-a apropiat, din nou, de geamul buc\u0103t\u0103riei, de unde ea nu-l putea repera, \u0219i s-a asigurat c\u0103 e. Chipul ei pergamentos \u0219i sf\u0103rmicios \u00eentors \u00eentr-o parte, \u00eenspre camera lui. A, \u00eel c\u0103uta. \u201dVin acum\u201d, \u0219i-a zis. \u0218i \u00een momentul acela a sim\u021bit privirea aceea goal\u0103 \u0219i rece, moart\u0103, str\u0103b\u0103t\u00e2ndu-l.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">***<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">At\u00e2t de binef\u0103c\u0103toare, calde \u00eei se p\u0103reau razele de soare ce traversau sticla \u0219i i se opreau pe chip! De parc\u0103 ar fi m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat-o\u2026\u00cencerca s\u0103-\u0219i aminteasc\u0103, de c\u00e2t\u0103 vreme n-a sim\u021bit o m\u00e2ng\u00e2iere ca asta, o m\u00e2ng\u00e2iere\u2026de c\u00e2t\u0103 vreme n-a f\u0103cut o plimbare\u2026De mult. De foarte demult. Parc\u0103 nici n-a tr\u0103it cu adev\u0103rat o astfel de experien\u021b\u0103. \u0218i totu\u0219i, a avut \u0219i ea o via\u021b\u0103. O via\u021b\u0103 real\u0103, a ei, chiar frumoas\u0103.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eDar, oare unde e vecinul meu? Abia l-am z\u0103rit o clip\u0103, azi. \u00cemi face at\u00e2t de bine, vederea lui. E at\u00e2t de t\u00e2n\u0103r \u0219i de frumos! Privindu-l nici n-ai putea s\u0103-l asociezi cu boala ori, mai r\u0103u, cu moartea\u2026Totu\u0219i\u2026\u0219i copilul acesta va \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2ni\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00ce\u0219i opri medita\u021bia.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Cineva tocmai intrase \u00een cas\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>proz\u0103 selectat\u0103 din grupul \u201cProz\u0103 \u015fi eseuri\u201d &#8211; facebook [a treia selec\u0163ie] de Lucia Bibar\u0163 B\u0103tr\u00e2na s-a ar\u0103tat la geam.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1514,15,1487],"tags":[1515,1522,1115,1489],"class_list":["post-13820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-68","category-proza","category-proza-eseuri-fb","tag-egophobia-68","tag-lucia-bibart","tag-proza","tag-proza-eseuri-fb"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3AU","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13820"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13820\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13822,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13820\/revisions\/13822"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}