{"id":13976,"date":"2021-12-15T08:20:34","date_gmt":"2021-12-15T06:20:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13976"},"modified":"2021-12-15T08:20:34","modified_gmt":"2021-12-15T06:20:34","slug":"poems-by-tom-davison","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=13976","title":{"rendered":"poems by Tom Davison"},"content":{"rendered":"

My Yard<\/em>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Taking a walk in my Yard this morning.<\/p>\n

My Yard isn\u2019t anything like your yard.<\/p>\n

My Yard has no trees or flowers.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/p>\n

Only an occasional greenish-brown stain of trampled grass.<\/p>\n

The early morning sun exposes the points of the barbwire that surround my Yard.<\/p>\n

It glitters<\/p>\n

Yet somehow looks beautiful.<\/p>\n

Which terrifies me.<\/p>\n

My Yard is two football fields squared.<\/p>\n

I share it this morning with 800 other men.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a walk in my Yard this morning.<\/p>\n

Where I have acquired a unique and special gift.<\/p>\n

The ability to perceive all the men in my Yard.<\/p>\n

From 360 degrees.<\/p>\n

I can sense who is following me without turning my head.<\/p>\n

Approaching from my left is the Con Man.<\/p>\n

His pockets bulging.<\/p>\n

Full of broken promises and unfulfillable schemes.<\/p>\n

His eyes darting from face-to-face.<\/p>\n

Never still.<\/p>\n

Just like his mouth.<\/p>\n

He makes me feel drained and weary.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a walk in my Yard this morning.<\/p>\n

Approaching from my right is the Strong Man.<\/p>\n

The one who never ceases lifting things.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He is forever pushing, pulling, and twisting his muscles.<\/p>\n

Struggling to exercise away his demons.<\/p>\n

But no matter how huge his muscles become<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t alter the fact<\/p>\n

He is still inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a walk in my Yard this morning.<\/p>\n

Approaching too fast from behind me is the Baby Man.<\/p>\n

He hasn\u2019t discovered the rhythm of my Yard yet.<\/p>\n

He was delivered here direct from Juvey.<\/p>\n

He strains to be a tough guy.<\/p>\n

But his eyes give him away.<\/p>\n

I can smell the fear on him.<\/p>\n

He wears it like a strong cologne.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a walk in my Yard this morning.<\/p>\n

There is a swelling crowd.<\/p>\n

Striding on the blacktop and the concrete pathways<\/p>\n

Alongside and all around me.<\/p>\n

Like a stream of angry ants in blue denim.<\/p>\n

They are all present now.<\/p>\n

I can sense them all.<\/p>\n

With my special gift.<\/p>\n

The Always Angry Man.<\/p>\n

The Fighting Man.<\/p>\n

The Stoned Man.<\/p>\n

The I Am Innocent Man.<\/p>\n

The Religious Man and all the others.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a walk in my Yard this morning.<\/p>\n

I utilize my special ability.<\/p>\n

I can feel him now.<\/p>\n

He is coming slowly.<\/p>\n

Straight at me.<\/p>\n

The one they call the Old Man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Also known as the Lifer Man.<\/p>\n

Shuffling his feet.<\/p>\n

Rarely gazing upward.<\/p>\n

Instead, staring downward at the top of his scruffy prison shoes.<\/p>\n

Mumbling to himself continuously<\/p>\n

About the poor decisions that brought him here.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He is so near to me now.<\/p>\n

Coming closer and closer.<\/p>\n

With each step I take.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He matches my pace.<\/p>\n

Step for step.<\/p>\n

He should break away.<\/p>\n

He is too close.<\/p>\n

Now he is just inches from my face.<\/p>\n

I could reach out and touch him.<\/p>\n

No wait, it is only my reflection in the glass.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My House\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Out in the Yard<\/p>\n

I walked by the Weight-Lifting Man today.<\/p>\n

The one who is constantly pulling, pounding, and grunting.<\/p>\n

He stretches his muscles<\/p>\n

Until they become huge and distorted.<\/p>\n

He uses them on the Inside<\/p>\n

He uses them to intimidate people.<\/p>\n

I asked him<\/p>\n

Did he know that no matter how big his muscles became?<\/p>\n

He would always remain a felon and a convict like the rest of us here?<\/p>\n

He looked at me with such hatred<\/p>\n

He cursed at me<\/p>\n

He called me bad names.<\/p>\n

I dream about a chance to hurt this Weight-Lifting Man.<\/p>\n

I create things in my mind I would to do to him<\/p>\n

When I am free<\/p>\n

Back in the World.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you worry about me\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My brothers and sisters\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just another day in my House!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Corrections Officer<\/p>\n

You know the one I mean<\/p>\n

The permanently angry one?<\/p>\n

He caught me leaving Chow today<\/p>\n

With an extra apple in my pocket.<\/p>\n

The food here<\/p>\n

Most of it comes in bags and boxes stamped<\/p>\n

For Animal Consumption Only<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The C.O. and his Friend took me to that place<\/p>\n

The one with no cameras watching.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They threw me to the ground<\/p>\n

They kicked me and beat me<\/p>\n

Laughing the whole time.<\/p>\n

I dream about a chance to hurt this angry little man.<\/p>\n

I create things in my mind I would to do to him<\/p>\n

When I am free<\/p>\n

Back in the World.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you worry about me\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My brothers and sisters\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just another day in my House\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Today my Bunkie thought it would be truly funny<\/p>\n

To take a crap on my bed.<\/p>\n

Last week he ejaculated on it<\/p>\n

The week before he pissed<\/p>\n

The place where I rest my head.<\/p>\n

I wanted to hurt him<\/p>\n

But if I did<\/p>\n

They would take me back to solitary<\/p>\n

So – I said nothing.<\/p>\n

He makes me so angry<\/p>\n

I feel like a clock that is ticking down<\/p>\n

Down to what?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know<\/p>\n

I dream about a chance to hurt my Bunkie.<\/p>\n

I create things in my mind I would to do to him<\/p>\n

When I am free<\/p>\n

Back in the world.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you worry about me\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My brothers and sisters\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just another day in my House!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I could feel my soul dying a little more today<\/p>\n

It made me want to hurt someone<\/p>\n

Anyone.<\/p>\n

Not my Bunkie<\/p>\n

Or the C.O.<\/p>\n

Or his Friend<\/p>\n

Or the Weight-Lifting Man from the Yard.<\/p>\n

Someone smaller than me<\/p>\n

Someone weaker<\/p>\n

Someone who would be afraid to tell,<\/p>\n

But I will do nothing<\/p>\n

About my thoughts<\/p>\n

Because Solitary makes my head hurt.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you worry about me\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My brothers and sisters\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just another day in my House!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I survived another day<\/p>\n

In a few months I will be a free man<\/p>\n

I will complete my sentence.<\/p>\n

My Rehabilitation will be completed<\/p>\n

And then I can hardly wait to share what I have learned,<\/p>\n

What I have been taught on the Inside<\/p>\n

With everyone out there<\/p>\n

In the Real World.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you worry about me\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My brothers and sisters\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just another day in my House!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One More Day<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I pierce the gates- I see the sun rising on walls- fences- and dying dreams.<\/p>\n

I know these men now- I can perceive this place clearly- through eyes wide open<\/p>\n

The effects of the broken long arm of the law- suffocates this place.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know these men now- I can attend their cry, \u201cHow long must I abide in this place?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/em> I respond to them calmly- declaring, \u201cHold on- nothing lasts forever!\u201d<\/em>
\nAs I tread through the yard- a maze of anger- waste- and deceptive schemes<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

I know these men now- I can attend their cry,\u00a0 \u201cI am so alone- I do not feel like myself?\u201d<\/em>
\nI respond to them calmly- declaring, \u201cHold on<\/em>– there is still much good in the world!\u201d<\/em>
\nIt constantly feels cold in this place- it permanently smells of piss- and dead passions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know these men now- I can attend their cry, \u201cCan I watch it all burn?\u201d<\/em>
\nI respond to them calmly- declaring, \u201cHold on<\/em>– do not surrender- hope is eternal!\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I leave this place at the end of my brief day- while others must remain bound.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know these men now- I attend the untold places in my heart- where sincerity persists.<\/p>\n

My dread- all is only a shell of hollow platitudes, \u201cTomorrow it will start over again?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I respond to myself calmly- declaring, \u201cHold on- for one more day!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Choices\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Preacher comes to visit once a week- passing through the gates and barbed wire.<\/p>\n

He wants to speak with me- about the poor Choices I have made- that put me here.<\/p>\n

I said we all make mistakes.<\/p>\n

He should believe in redemption- second chances.<\/p>\n

He gets angry- tells me that I am responsible for my Choices.<\/p>\n

Not him- not society.<\/p>\n

I tell him I believe him.<\/p>\n

Therefore, after today- I Choose never to meet with him again!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Lady from the community college comes to educate me<\/p>\n

She wants to \u2018give back\u2019.<\/p>\n

She believes that I am here for my own good- that I need rehabilitated- corrected.<\/p>\n

I explain to her that the long arm of the law is broken.<\/p>\n

I really am here to be punished.<\/p>\n

She gets angry<\/p>\n

Tells me I am ignorant and illiterate- that I Choose to be this way.<\/p>\n

I tell her I believe her<\/p>\n

Therefore, after today- I Choose never to meet with her again!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My Lawyer came to visit me- to prepare for a judicial.<\/p>\n

A slim possibility of leaving this place.<\/p>\n

He says that I can improve my chances for an early release- by making better Choices.<\/p>\n

Like seeing the Preacher- the education Lady.<\/p>\n

I told him I Choose never to see them again.<\/p>\n

He gets angry with me.<\/p>\n

I am Choosing to be a bad client- I don\u2019t deserve his pro-bono services.<\/p>\n

I tell him I believe him<\/p>\n

Therefore, after today- I Choose never to meet with him again!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I Choose to serve the remainder of my term<\/p>\n

After serving two dimes- twenty years.<\/p>\n

I must serve- life without parole.<\/p>\n

I still can Choose for myself.<\/p>\n

Life without the Preacher.<\/p>\n

Life without the education Lady.<\/p>\n

Life without my Lawyer.<\/p>\n

I can Choose what my own prison will be- for my remaining time.<\/p>\n

They will all learn to respect me.<\/p>\n

I Choose.<\/p>\n

Not them.<\/p>\n

Me.<\/p>\n

I Choose.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My Yard\u00a0 \u00a0 Taking a walk in my Yard this morning. My Yard isn\u2019t anything like your yard. My Yard has no trees or flowers.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1516,77],"tags":[1517,1123,1539],"class_list":["post-13976","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-69","category-english","tag-egophobia-69-70","tag-english","tag-tom-davison"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3Dq","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13976","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13976"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13976\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13977,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13976\/revisions\/13977"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13976"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13976"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13976"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}