{"id":14235,"date":"2022-06-15T13:13:01","date_gmt":"2022-06-15T11:13:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=14235"},"modified":"2022-06-14T13:22:52","modified_gmt":"2022-06-14T11:22:52","slug":"din-catacombele-nihilismului-adolescentin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=14235","title":{"rendered":"Din catacombele nihilismului adolescentin"},"content":{"rendered":"

de\u00a0\u0218tefan Bolea<\/p>\n

Public aici acest text de la 20 de ani. Nihilismul meu (existen\u021bial) era brutal, lipsit de nuan\u021be. A\u0219 putea spune tr\u0103d\u0103tor \u201eam fost \u0219i asta!\u201d, dac\u0103 nu a\u0219 sim\u021bi c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 un contraargument decisiv la retorica furibund\u0103 a anihil\u0103rii.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cei patru cavaleri (1 august 2000)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

M-am uitat \u00een tablou p\u00e2n\u0103 a \u00eenceput s\u0103 mi\u0219te. Via\u021b\u0103 secret\u0103 a mor\u021bii aparente este o prezen\u021b\u0103 ie\u0219it\u0103 din comun, subiect care nu \u00eenceteaz\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 fascineze \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eembete cu euforia pierderii individua\u021biei \u00een ceva mai pur, mai viu \u0219i mai curat. Pentru un tablou rupt din iad ai nevoie de o muzica n\u0103scut\u0103 \u00een iad, ca de exemplu piesele excentrice \u0219i grote\u0219ti din Songs Of Faith and Devotion<\/em>.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

[Albrecht D\u00fcrer, Cei patru cavaleri ai Apocalipsului<\/em> (1498)]<\/p>\n

\n

Via\u021b\u0103 a \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 plictiseasc\u0103 prin insisten\u021ba cu care se afirm\u0103, prin imposibilitatea accept\u0103rii subtilit\u0103\u021bii neantului, prin imbecilitatea cu care refuz\u0103 deliciile decaden\u021bei duse p\u00e2n\u0103 la margini. Egoismul monadei lipsit\u0103 de con\u0219tiin\u021ba \u00eentregului este o surs\u0103 de nimicnicie \u0219i de vanitate pueril\u0103. Oamenii mai sper\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103, \u0103sta e misterul vie\u021bii. Aceasta parad\u0103 de cadavre impasibil\u0103 la con\u0219tiin\u021b\u0103 \u0219i la veninul m\u00e2ntuitor al mor\u021bii \u00eemi men\u021bine vie fascina\u021bia pentru cel mai impur fenomen al istoriei umanit\u0103\u021bii. Crima de a te fi n\u0103scut, acest inconvenient cum \u00eel numea Cioran, este o nimica toat\u0103 pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 crima de a tr\u0103i , de a te tr\u0103i ca pe un cadavru viu.<\/p>\n

Lumea mea ar trebui s\u0103 arate ca tabloul lui D\u00fcrer. Este neantul meu favorit, unde accidentul, R\u0103ul, satanicul devine legea esen\u021bial\u0103 a universului. Apocalipsa celebreaz\u0103 orgasmul s\u00e2ngeros al sf\u00e2r\u0219itului timpului. Mai mult, ea ratific\u0103 sf\u00e2r\u0219itul eternit\u0103\u021bii. Din nefericire, semnele apocalipsei sunt la fel de \u00een\u0219el\u0103toare ca \u0219i acum un mileniu \u0219i puritatea estetica a co\u0219marului mor\u021bii finale, far\u0103 dubii, universale este aproape la fel de iritant\u0103 c\u0103 o utopie. Aceast\u0103 a\u0219teptare, ar putea spune unii, e mai rea ca apocalipsa \u00een sine, presim\u021birea mor\u021bii e mai intensa ca sf\u00e2r\u0219itul fizic, agonia e mai \u00eengrozitoare ca pedeapsa. Le-a\u0219 putea raspunde c\u0103 apocalipsa nu se compar\u0103 cu monotonia semicon\u0219tienta a vie\u021bii care \u00eemprumut\u0103 haina mor\u021bii pentru a se re\u00eennoi ca prim\u0103vara imbecil\u0103, c\u0103 perfec\u021biunea ei este incomparabil mai dureroas\u0103 ca jum\u0103tatea de chin sau ca plictiseala \u0219i lipsa de scop a fiec\u0103rei zile.<\/p>\n

Nietzsche mi se pare \u00eenc\u0103 odat\u0103 mai actual dec\u00e2t Cioran, c\u00e2nd afirma c\u0103 sf\u00e2r\u0219itul istoriei nu este definitiv \u0219i c\u0103 este asimilabil ideei de ciclu via\u021b\u0103-moarte care se propag\u0103 la infinit (din iner\u021bie, defect de fabrica\u021bie, antiumanism divin?). Sf\u00e2r\u0219itul istoriei nu este m\u00e2ine. Pentru c\u0103 m\u00e2ine nu exist\u0103. Trebuie s\u0103 ai voin\u021ba \u0219i abnega\u021bia autonihilist\u0103 a lui Prometeu s\u0103 te revol\u021bi \u00eempotriv\u0103 elementelor, s\u0103 le faci s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 inevitabilitatea beatific\u0103 a mor\u021bii complete \u0219i s\u0103 crezi \u00een tine la modul absolut ca Lucifer c\u0103 existen\u021ba ta este indispensabil\u0103 \u0219i necesar\u0103 ruperii ordinii divine.<\/p>\n

Oricine a\u0219 fi, nici calea oamenilor, nici calea zeilor nu m\u0103 reprezint\u0103. Drumul meu este sf\u00e2r\u0219itul de drum al fiin\u021bei \u0219i al mor\u021bii fiin\u021bei; sunt un fel de pod, o bre\u0219\u0103 \u00een neant, a c\u0103rei existen\u021b\u0103 confirm\u0103 perpetuarea ideii de rezisten\u021b\u0103, excep\u021bia de la regul\u0103, singura excep\u021bie care nu confirm\u0103 regula.<\/p>\n

\u00cen esen\u021b\u0103, sunt un cavaler al Apocalipsei, un criminal profesionist care r\u0103spunde nevoii de moarte a victimei, \u00eei \u00eendepline\u0219te cel mai profund dor, se vede mort ucig\u00e2nd.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

de\u00a0\u0218tefan Bolea Public aici acest text de la 20 de ani. Nihilismul meu (existen\u021bial) era brutal, lipsit de nuan\u021be. A\u0219 putea spune tr\u0103d\u0103tor \u201eam fost \u0219i asta!\u201d, dac\u0103 nu a\u0219 sim\u021bi c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 un contraargument decisiv la retorica furibund\u0103 a anihil\u0103rii.\u00a0   Cei patru cavaleri (1 august 2000) M-am uitat \u00een tablou p\u00e2n\u0103 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[124,1566],"tags":[1128,1567,39],"class_list":["post-14235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial","category-egophobia-72","tag-editorial","tag-egophobia-72","tag-stefan-bolea"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3HB","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14235"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14235\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14236,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14235\/revisions\/14236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}