{"id":14699,"date":"2023-03-15T14:07:18","date_gmt":"2023-03-15T12:07:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=14699"},"modified":"2023-03-15T14:07:18","modified_gmt":"2023-03-15T12:07:18","slug":"poems-by-dan-raphael","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=14699","title":{"rendered":"poems by Dan Raphael"},"content":{"rendered":"

Re: Recovery<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

things can open too fast<\/p>\n

I bang the wall just another time and it falls over<\/p>\n

so much I\u2019m not ready for<\/p>\n

I railed on how the wall was keeping me in, making me less<\/p>\n

without admitting my debt for all it was keeping out<\/p>\n

letting me avoid<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

to suddenly get to places, tools and actions<\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t accessed in over a month<\/p>\n

seldom gradual switch-backs<\/p>\n

or like trails without switchbacks only stairs<\/p>\n

with down barely easier than up<\/p>\n

after so much time spent level<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

going just partway up a ladder and finding scaffolding<\/p>\n

going from a long juice fast to a global menu of favorites<\/p>\n

jumping on the dusty bicycle then hearing its engine<\/p>\n

uphill or dark in every direction<\/p>\n

I know I can but do I want to<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Who\u2019s with Me<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

my personal ecology\/menagerie\/workforce<\/p>\n

from the clich\u00e9d to the never been classified<\/p>\n

the continually reproducing, the once a decade flares<\/p>\n

the check-in every week or so for clean clothes<\/p>\n

and fresh fruit, gone for several months<\/p>\n

but now monopolizing the conversation and menu<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

what prefers windowless, what can\u2019t move without aroma,<\/p>\n

what you can set your watch by, what\u2019s so late<\/p>\n

i forgot it was coming, the couldn\u2019t be more inappropriate<\/p>\n

the we-never-met before that knows the secret handshake,<\/p>\n

is this a mirror or a time-machine window, my wallet<\/p>\n

but full of yen and kwanza, an ID with the back of my head<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

i understand English but no one here understands me<\/p>\n

architecture i have to duck for, favorite foods<\/p>\n

i\u2019ve never seen before, today i know the shortcuts,<\/p>\n

yesterday i pleaded with the floor to listen<\/p>\n

predicting the weather with a thermometer under my tongue<\/p>\n

and a pressure cuff on my wrist, trying to remember where<\/p>\n

the exits are and that not every door\u2019s ground level<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not Yet December<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

is this chill just atop my skin<\/p>\n

or right inside it, gently closing the door<\/p>\n

separating interior and exterior seasons<\/p>\n

a life as a year, a month as a breath<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and now wind I can see and hear<\/p>\n

not feel inside me, not see the dry field<\/p>\n

surrendering summer skin, sudden birds<\/p>\n

taunting the wind, somewhere else there\u2019s rain I can feel<\/p>\n

as if that newly precipitated neighborhood\u2019s inside me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

there\u2019ll be the kind of weather<\/p>\n

when the electricity goes out at night<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t worry but get quickly dressed<\/p>\n

more stars than satellites, so few cars<\/p>\n

I smell thunder, my shoes scuff sparks<\/p>\n

from the asphalt who thinks no one\u2019s watching<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

how far in can the wind get\u2014a sky basement,<\/p>\n

what does the temperature difference tween my cold fingers<\/p>\n

and my busily digesting stomach stir up?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

my head the most consistent high pressure front<\/p>\n

going from warm space to cold are my bones more surprised<\/p>\n

than my skin, less than a breeze but movement<\/p>\n

what would move toward me if it could, a wall that wants to stay<\/p>\n

while the rest of my house surrenders<\/p>\n

siding skin with what little insulation settled & thinned<\/p>\n

times the wind goes around me cause I\u2019m no challenge<\/p>\n

not even friction to trade<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All Kinds of Wind<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

the wind is a conveyor belt conveying what,<\/p>\n

a train that doesn\u2019t stop to pick up or release passengers<\/p>\n

pollen, dust, aromas that may be from near or far<\/p>\n

changed from the travel, interactions in the closed cabin of threads<\/p>\n

within subcurrents within momentum skin, a siren comes and goes<\/p>\n

but the\u00a0 traffic sound is another wind<\/p>\n

with soft throbs and\u00a0 louder gusts<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

my body\u2019s a wind antenna farm, sensors all over for various phenomena and waves<\/p>\n

do the wind and heat need to reach my brain to change my emotions<\/p>\n

who triggers what, approximates what, compare & contract<\/p>\n

how a temperature feels different if you\u2019re on the rising or declining side of the curve\u2014<\/p>\n

the day\u2019s curve, the chain of days as what chain of fronts<\/p>\n

moving and working through each other and us, thermal distribution<\/p>\n

nowhere near as manipulable as wealth and resources, worth is an opinion<\/p>\n

of abstract authority we can\u2019t see or affect,\u00a0 causing the abundances and deficits,<\/p>\n

social and economic storms and droughts. atmospheric rivers and heat domes<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

as the wind moves the leaves whose shadows fall across my hands and desk<\/p>\n

the wind against and through my shirt, to and from my skin<\/p>\n

wind drying throat, thousands of throats<\/p>\n

drying pockets, inner linings, shy of light<\/p>\n

as a tunnel is just an alley with a roof<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

how can i look at what\u2019s coming down<\/p>\n

blinded by physical, solar and societal winds<\/p>\n

to what\u2019s waiting in the open, gaining on me<\/p>\n

the ground\u2019s own wind shifting me away from<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Among Wings<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

if I was a bird<\/p>\n

like a marsh hawk hidden in the reeds<\/p>\n

rising suddenly 15-20 feet<\/p>\n

then plunging back to where it heard<\/p>\n

its next meal scurrying on the ground<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

as there\u2019s never one crow, seldom less than three<\/p>\n

moving whenever someone gets too close, in a spherical sense<\/p>\n

though I can\u2019t jump up to the wire or tree branch<\/p>\n

you just never know leg strength<\/p>\n

wings disguised as a coat<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

birds who eat other birds<\/p>\n

who put their eggs in other nests<\/p>\n

gypsy birds, birds who migrate for weeks<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

fledglings who realize<\/p>\n

no matter how much they squawk and chirp<\/p>\n

the ground won\u2019t get any closer<\/p>\n

maybe the only way to see mom<\/p>\n

is to rise up to her<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

owl feathered like a tree<\/p>\n

a bird to blend with each shade of sky<\/p>\n

water birds with no breath to hold<\/p>\n

clearly seeing rodents too far away to get to<\/p>\n

swallows\u2019 mini-vortexes pulling insects from other dimensions<\/p>\n

hummingbirds so used to sugar water spring flowers confuse them<\/p>\n

moss and lichen attract insects so birds will come and groom them,<\/p>\n

spread their spores and gift occasional fertilizer<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m a bird half denim blue, half dark plaid<\/p>\n

summer plumage so random in color and flesh<\/p>\n

no external wings, a nest I couldn\u2019t have made myself<\/p>\n

when someone says \u201cfly\u201d I look for what to swat<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Re: Recovery   things can open too fast I bang the wall just another time and it falls over so much I\u2019m not ready for<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1625,77],"tags":[1643,1626,1123],"class_list":["post-14699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-75","category-english","tag-dan-raphael","tag-egophobia-75","tag-english"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-3P5","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14699"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14700,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14699\/revisions\/14700"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}