by Kenneth M. Kapp<\/p>\n
At first, Joan shook Thomas\u2019s shoulder gently, but then with increasing urgency she whispered, \u201cWake up, wake up. Selma\u2019s crying.\u201d<\/p>\n
~ * ~<\/p>\n
It had been a long weekend but then Memorial Day weekends had always been long. Ever since they were married, Joan had insisted they visit her hometown in northcentral Wisconsin and the cemetery where her parents and relatives had found their final rest. \u201cIt\u2019s the least we can do to show our respect. I\u2019m the last Bajlic. I searched online.\u201d<\/p>\n
At first, Thomas hadn\u2019t demurred even though it was a four-hour drive on mostly county roads if keeping to the legal speed limits and there were no detours or stops. He had little difficulty booking a room in a nearby motel. He remarked when checking in that he was surprised there were vacancies over the holiday weekend. The owner replied, running his credit card, \u201cWell, you meet anyone from here in Milwaukee even admitting that they\u2019re from up here, you\u2019ll hear the finality in their voice. That\u2019s their way of saying they ain\u2019t ever coming back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Initially he thought they would make a picnic outing of it, a mini-honeymoon, but Joan wished only to visit the small cemetery just outside of town. She would bring new plastic flowers to replace the old and, standing behind her parents\u2019 headstone, recount in a barely audible litany the events of the previous year. Then she would move on to aunts and uncles, repeating the same story or at least taking the same time to address them.<\/p>\n
The Friday before they left, she would pick a bucket of violets \u2013 purple and white, it didn\u2019t matter. After talking to the grownups, she would carefully place a few of the violets at the foot of the headstones of the many children that kept company with their parents. She would kiss her fingers and touch the grass above where she said their heart was still beating.<\/p>\n
Thomas felt sorry and swallowed when May rolled around. These visits didn\u2019t appear to provide any comfort for Joan. Occasionally he could beg off, finding an excuse about work, or it being only fair they spend Memorial Day with his family. \u201cMy great uncle Carl died in the Korean War.\u201d<\/p>\n
Efforts to address how these trips seemed to depress Joan didn\u2019t work. Suggestions of counseling were dismissed. \u201cYou just don\u2019t understand. I\u2019m the last of my family and that\u2019s a big responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n
~ * ~<\/p>\n
Thomas rolled his feet over the side of the bed, whispering, \u201cI\u2019ll heat the baby bottle while I\u2019m changing her.\u201d<\/p>\n
He shuffled down the hall to the kitchen, putting a saucepan already filled with water on the stove. He removed a bottle with milk from the refrigerator and, after placing it in the pan, turned the flame on low. Returning to the hall, he switched on the light, a signal that Joan could quickly run to the bathroom while he got Selma. He waited until he heard the toilet flush before retrieving the baby and the bottle from the kitchen.<\/p>\n
As he returned to the bedroom he thought, how sad, after we lost the first two and the doctor learned about Joan\u2019s family, he said there must be a genetic disposition for the miscarriages and early deaths<\/em>. She had nodded. \u201cMy mother told me all the Bajlics had weak blood. Is that the same thing?\u201d<\/p>\n Thomas switched off the hall light signaling that he was on the way back with Selma and the bottle. He sighed, thinking that this weekend was especially hard with Joanie going on about how well Selma travels and how nice that she\u2019s getting to see a little bit of Wisconsin at a young age.<\/p>\n He tiptoed into their bedroom and rolled back the blanket, gently laying the doll next to Joan.<\/p>\n \u201cHere\u2019s the bottle, dear. I\u2019ll just go to the bathroom and come right back. Selma\u2019s always been good nursing and then falls asleep as soon as I put her down. Sleeps until I\u2019m out of the shower and dressed. Glad the nursery school\u2019s working out.\u201d<\/p>\n Thomas leaned over and kissed Joan on the forehead. \u201cShe\u2019s lucky to have such a loving mother.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Kenneth M. Kapp At first, Joan shook Thomas\u2019s shoulder gently, but then with increasing urgency she whispered, \u201cWake up, wake up. Selma\u2019s crying.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1800,77],"tags":[1801,1123,1738],"class_list":["post-15827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-86","category-english","tag-egophobia-86","tag-english","tag-kenneth-m-kapp"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s6DakB-selma","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15827"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15828,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15827\/revisions\/15828"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}