by Mariia Shmeleva<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a strange and beautiful thing, to have friends.
\nTo stay over, read, be silent together.
\nSometimes, you have sex.
\nSometimes, you just fall asleep, holding each other, because it\u2019s warmer that way.
\nSometimes, it\u2019s just dinner.
\nAnd still it\u2019s miraculous.
\nLet me tell you about a friend of mine.
\nHis name is funny, but I won\u2019t say it.
\nHe\u2019s Russian, from Moscow.
\nWe met at an art exhibition.
\nArt is powerful.
\nArt writes the best scripts.
\nThat same day, I invited him to a \u201creverse housewarming.\u201d
\nI was moving out. We invited a bunch of people no one knew each other, and yet we were like a family.
\nAt the time, I even hosted a guy on Couchsurfing .
\nIt was strange and joyful and intimate in its chaos.
\nThat was over six months ago. I think we started seeing each other in September.
\nSex pulled us together like a magnet.
\nBut for him, sex isn\u2019t penetration.
\nNot woman. Not man.
\nIt\u2019s the deep creation of desire.
\nIt\u2019s a wave that wipes you clean.
\nIt\u2019s arousal that can\u2019t be faked.
\nIt\u2019s a body that speaks to yours.
\nIt\u2019s his cock in your throat \u2014 the one you\u2019ve been waiting for.
\nIt\u2019s his predatory gaze, and he knows: you\u2019re already under him.
\nA stunning fusion of the masculine and feminine.
\nHe knows everything.
\nHe feels everything.
\nHe can wear a skirt, and I\u2019ll want him more than anyone in a crisp button-down.
\nHe can cook dinner with such feminine grace and still, the veins on his arms, the tension of his muscles, make me dizzy.
\nHe\u2019s not the embodiment of all my fantasies.
\nNot the \u201cman of my dreams.\u201d
\nBut I dream of being his friend forever.
\nI dream of understanding the love he seems to feel for the world.
\nI don\u2019t know much.
\nI don\u2019t know what makes him cry.
\nI don\u2019t know what breaks him.
\nBut when he\u2019s near, I feel calm.
\nI know his attention is on me.
\nI know he\u2019ll hear.
\nHe won\u2019t drift off.
\nAnd he\u2019ll be there, if I need him.
\nThis is gratitude.
\nGratitude for our accidental meeting.
\nFor intimacy and understanding with no contract.
\nThat you can simply be no \u201cwe,\u201d no \u201ctomorrow,\u201d no plans.
\nNow that my world is falling apart every day, I don’t need plans together
\nI need a moment that stays on my skin, stays in my memories, and I can breathe.
\nThank you.
\nMariia<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Mariia Shmeleva It\u2019s a strange and beautiful thing, to have friends. To stay over, read, be silent together. Sometimes, you have sex. Sometimes, you just fall asleep, holding each other, because it\u2019s warmer that way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1800,77],"tags":[1801,1123,1805],"class_list":["post-15848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-86","category-english","tag-egophobia-86","tag-english","tag-mariia-shmeleva"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-47C","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15848"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15848\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15849,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15848\/revisions\/15849"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}