by Jonathan Ferrini<\/p>\n
Victor grew up inside a trailer park with dilapidated trailers packed together like tuna in a rusty old can. His grandmother\u2019s trailer smelled of cleaning supplies; the scent she brought home from cleaning offices overnight. She raised Victor alone after his mother abandoned him for a life as a hippie drifting from commune to commune.<\/p>\n
She knew he was different: not able to speak, withdrawn, unable to tie his shoes, write his name, never learning personal hygiene and unable to feed himself. Schools labeled him \u201cretarded\u201d and wouldn\u2019t enroll him.<\/p>\n
In the corner of the trailer sat a dying black-and-white television with bent rabbit ears. Victor sat cross-legged inches from the television screen, mesmerized by flickering images while the picture rolled and the sound hissed. His grandmother couldn\u2019t afford a sitter to supervise him while she worked. Victor didn\u2019t require supervision because the television and a transistor radio kept him engaged inside a world, he felt safe.<\/p>\n
The components of a broken transistor radio were Victor\u2019s playmates: a\u00a0ferrite rod antenna wrapped in copper; a small oval\u00a0loudspeaker; and the tuning capacitor. Other friends included the compact circuit board, cylindrical\u00a0transistors,<\/strong> and striped\u00a0resistors.<\/strong><\/p>\n He spread the radio components across the floor. His grandmother gave him a wooden puzzle set of familiar geometric patterns. Victor preferred triangles because they had a base and stood upright like he was signaling the need for steadiness.<\/p>\n Victor built faces with the components of the radio; two round capacitors became eyes; a curved wire became a mouth sometimes bent upward, flat, or dipped into a quiet sadness; the loudspeaker formed the body; the ferrite rod antenna became a spine; and copper coils became hair. He placed a small transistor perched on top like a hat, tilted just enough to suggest the figure was attempting to say \u201chello\u201d with a tip of its hat. Victor used components the way other children handled crayons.<\/p>\n His grandmother described his component constructions to his pediatrician,<\/p>\n \u201cHe always places a mouth on the triangles.\u201d<\/p>\n The pediatrician suggested,<\/p>\n \u201cI believe these triangles are Victor\u2019s only way of communicating his feelings.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cChildren like Victor require around the clock care and will never amount to anything more than grown toddlers.<\/p>\n \u201cAs he grows into manhood and you become frail, there is no alternative but to have Victor committed to a state hospital where retarded children are cared for and live out their lives.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n The intake office at the Junction State Hospital smelled of antiseptic and urine. The intake social worker, Joanie Greenstreet, watched Victor closely as he rocked in his chair, eyes drifting toward the ceiling.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is the worst part of my job.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s best you slip out of the room with no goodbye, so Victor isn\u2019t aware.\u201d<\/p>\n Victor\u2019s grandmother left her grandson forever.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Junction State Hospital was built in 1940 on state land inside the countryside, out of sight, and out of mind where the paved road with sidewalks and streetlights gave way to a narrow dirt road leading past the locked rusting gates of the hospital resembling a haunted mansion.<\/p>\n The hospital was for children who did not speak; rocked incessantly; banged their heads against walls; screamed at sounds no one else could hear; and couldn\u2019t feed or bathe themselves. They were children with autism before autism had a proper name; Down Syndrome; Cerebral Palsy; learning disabilities, and genetic conditions doctors didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n Their care required around the clock attention, which was beyond the financial resources for most families. The parents were convinced by medical providers\u00a0\u201c<\/em>long-term placement\u201d; \u201cspecialized supervision\u201d; and \u201cthey\u2019ll be safer\u201d were the only alternative.<\/p>\n Fathers hurriedly carried suitcases inside and left quickly while mothers cried openly and others didn\u2019t cry, having lost the ability. Many parents never came inside choosing to hand their child off to an attendant from the car like dropping a package marked \u201cNo Return Address\u201d into a mailbox.<\/p>\n As the children matured inside Junction, they roamed the narrow hallways, heard keys, and came accustomed to the smell of disinfectants, feces, and urine. They quickly learned which staff were gentle and which were not.<\/p>\n When they died without family, there was nowhere for them to go except for an undignified cemetery on the hospital grounds.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Victor was placed in a ward with boys suffering from mild to severe disabilities. Some were cunning and feigned friendship, sitting next to Victor on the edge of his bed only to touch the portable television he brought with him which he hid under the bed. His radio components were confiscated, thrown away as \u201cchoking hazards\u201d which eliminated the safe and kind world which might shield Victor from for the horrors of the ward.\u00a0 He erupted into violent fits requiring sedation and restraints at times. Victor refused group activities and meals if it meant leaving the TV behind.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Joanie Greenstreet was a young post-doc psychologist who tried to help Victor adjust but couldn\u2019t reach him. She offered to keep the television safe inside her office, but Victor wouldn\u2019t allow it to be taken from him.<\/p>\n The hospital\u2019s chief psychiatrist was determined to permanently medicate Victor and subdue him into submission, but Joanie pleaded for more time to reach Victor explaining,<\/p>\n \u201cI see something special inside Victor, Doctor Spencer.<\/p>\n \u201cI need more time to reach him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou supervise a large ward of boys demanding your attention and making Victor a \u2018pet project\u2019 isn\u2019t fair to the others, but I\u2019ll give you a limited amount of time.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Doctor Spencer\u2019s words dusted up Joanie\u2019s memories of a failed marriage to a man whose family tree spawned several babies with \u201cDown Syndrome\u201d and, when she became pregnant with his baby as an undergraduate, he demanded she receive Amniocentesis testing.<\/p>\n The results came back showing the genetic markers for a baby with Down Syndrome.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll have an abortion, dear, and we\u2019ll try again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been reading babies born with Down Syndrome can lead productive lives, dear.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t stand for you delivering a freak of nature.<\/p>\n \u201cChoose an immediate abortion or a divorce!\u201d<\/p>\n Joanies decision to acquiesce to the abortion created a fracture in the marriage which led to divorce. She finished college earning a bachelor\u2019s and master\u2019s degree in social work determined to assist families and those afflicted with developmental disabilities.<\/p>\n \n *<\/p>\n Joanie motivated Victor to attend group meals by permitting him to bring along his TV.\u00a0 She collected broken transistor radios from sympathetic staff members which permitted Victor to return to a familiar, safe place within his mind, inside the privacy of her office. Victor trusted Joanie.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n After months of their meal routine, Joanie was optimistic Victor could avoid permanent sedation when he agreed to leave behind the television underneath his bed when going to meals. One evening after dinner, Joanie escorted Victor to his ward.\u00a0 The television was on top of his bed and the knobs and rabbit ears were broken off accompanied by a perverse chorus of laughter and giggling from the boys inside the ward.<\/p>\n Victor screamed while rocking back and forth managing to break free from Joanies embrace. Three staff members subdued him with plans to administer a mind-numbing sedative. Joanie wrestled the syringe from the attendant. She held Victor tightly until he settled down.<\/p>\n Joanie tucked Victor into bed and sat beside him all evening. She recalled a small shop inside town.<\/p>\n \u201cNakamura\u2019s TV & Radio Repair\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Joanie obtained a day pass to have Victor accompany her to the repair shop. They carried the broken television inside the shop smelling of dust and warm metal cluttered with old TV sets and radios.<\/p>\n Kenji Nakamura was an old man with a pocket protector loaded with pens, pencils, and tiny screwdrivers. He flipped the television around, removed the back, and stared inside.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s all vacuum tubes.<\/p>\n \u201cEven if I could find the parts, the cost of repair is more than buying a refurbished set.<\/p>\n \u201cFor ten dollars, I\u2019ll sell you a reconditioned set including a remote control.\u201d<\/p>\n Kenji held Victor\u2019s hand, guiding his forefinger to the blue button pressing the remote. The television jumped to life with a crystal-clear screen. Victor was mesmerized by the ability to command the television.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re holding a magic wand.\u201d<\/p>\n Kenji leaned into Joanie and whispered,<\/p>\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t you buy it for the kid and take it with you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have a plan in mind which might be breakthrough therapy for Victor.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Victor collected pop bottles from every trash can and sometimes absconding with half-filled soda pop bottles he found on desks. Staff members collected bottles from home and placed them inside a collection drum within Joanie\u2019s office. Victor\u2019s daily collection showed a work ethic with a goal in mind which impressed Joanie and Doctor Spencer.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n After months of collecting bottles, Victor placed a soda pop bottle inside the collection drum. He pointed to a ten-dollar bill Joanie taped to the bottle collection drum reminding him of the monetary goal.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve collected five hundred bottles according to my tally.<\/p>\n \u201cLet me hold your forefinger to the calculator.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s press five, zero, zero.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is the price paid for each bottle, Victor?\u201d<\/p>\n Victor practiced tracing the number two and cent sign for weeks and traced the number and cent symbol with his finger in the air.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s press the letter \u2018X\u2019 which will multiply \u2018500\u2019 by two cents.\u201d<\/p>\n Joanie held Victor\u2019s forefinger to the calculator\u2019s equal sign. \u201c10.00\u201d glowed in red. He ran to the ten-dollar bill taped to the collection drum, tore it off, and proudly handed it to Joanie. Victor tugged on Mrs. Greenstreet\u2019s arm as a non-verbal signal to immediately leave for Kenji\u2019s shop to purchase the television set.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Kenji proudly handed Victor the television.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy are packing boxes strewn about?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m retiring because transistors have put me out of business.\u201d<\/p>\n He handed Victor a tattered and faded blue three-ring binder.<\/p>\n \u201cThese are my notes including everything I learned in the Army Signal Corps and repairing TV\u2019s and radios for twenty years.<\/p>\n I want you to have it.\u201d<\/p>\n Victor opened it carefully as if understanding it contained magic. The pages were filled with precise pencil drawings including circuits, pathways, and transistors including handwritten notes. Victor studied the first diagram, and his breathing changed, catching Kenji\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n Victor\u2019s finger lifted and hovered above the paper before touching, following and tracing the circuits pathway. His finger shifted slightly and to a different point and found a shorter path and tapped it once. Victor looked towards Kenji as if speaking in a non-verbal communique only the two would understand. Kenji felt something stir in his gut.<\/p>\n Victor placed his finger in the air sketching an invisible correction knowing he mastered an improvement to the diagram. Kenji wrote on the page what Victor was inscribing in the air with his finger pencil.<\/p>\n \u201cIs this what you see?\u201d<\/p>\n Victor traced the path with his finger on Kenji\u2019s diagram. He tapped it once. Kenji understood Victor was not reading the circuits like a map but inventing shortcuts for the pathways allowing the signal to flow quickly and flawlessly.<\/p>\n \u201cVictor knows the signal\u2019s destination and devised a better way for it to arrive.<\/p>\n \u201cI hit a wall with my intellect, but Victor doesn\u2019t see a wall.<\/p>\n \u201cHe intuitively devises pathways over, under, and around my wall.<\/p>\n \u201cPermit him to study the binder, Joanie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou believe he understands it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI believe he understands what it wants to become.\u201d<\/p>\n Joanie carefully turned the pages finding detailed handwritten drawings of electronic circuitry including images of tiny boxes with legs resembling metal insects.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are these images, Kenji?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTiny transistors replacing vacuum tubes and the future of electronics.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you certain you want to part with your life\u2019s study?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not parting but handing the baton off to a new generation who will usher electronics into the future.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Joanie set up a desk, lamp, and chair inside her office for Victor to study. Joanie watched as Victor sketched transistors and circuits. Kenji\u2019s binder began to fill with pages of original study intuitively devised as if constructing the triangular figures he adorned with radio components. Kenji organized his study as if he were providing Victor with a light to follow discovering new pathways Victor would provide to the signal.<\/p>\n Victor watched television with the binder open on his lap. The screen glowed, and so did the pages of the tattered blue binder. Nobody except Victor knew there were two signals inside; a signal guiding him through the world as it was, and the other signal showing him what the future of the world could become.<\/p>\n Joanie invited Doctor Spencer to review the blue binder with her. He turned each page with fascination.<\/p>\n \u201cA TV repairman and Victor put this together?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe original work was a gift from Kenji Nakamura to Victor, but the newest pages are Victor\u2019s original scholarship.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI developed a rudimentary knowledge of electronics by reading Popular Electronics as a young man.<\/p>\n \u201cThe original scholarship resembles a \u2018paint by numbers\u2019 directional guide for Victor to follow.<\/p>\n \u201cVictor owns this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSmall computer companies are sprouting up which will change the world.<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019ll want a peek at this work but, before they do, I want to consult with a patent attorney.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Victor and Joanie sat as the attorney explained the importance of protecting the blue binder with patent applications. Victor was distracted mimicking the finger gestures of a secretary striking the keys of a typewriter.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve prepared a retainer agreement but given Victor\u2019s diminished mental acuity, he\u2019ll require a guardian\u2019s signature.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDoctor Spencer will sign.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m also preparing a trust for the benefit of Victor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy is that necessary?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStand by and find out, Joanie.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Vigorous attempts to locate Kenji led to an obituary about his burial at Arlington National Cemetery.<\/p>\n Negotiations for purchasing the blue binder followed quickly after filing the patent applications with the potential sale price reaching into the millions of dollars.<\/p>\n \u201cIf Victor will agree to sell the blue binder, he can build a home suitable for his special needs with round the clock care and retain a sizable estate for himself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou must make Victor understand the value of his intellectual property or in time, others may improve upon Victor\u2019s innovations, and the blue binder will become worthless.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Money meant nothing to Victor because his world didn\u2019t comprehend what it could buy, control, or influence. Victor refused to look at renditions of new homes because the small bed inside the ward with his black and white remote-controlled television was home.<\/p>\n Joanie never attempted to influence Victor to sell the blue binder. She made gentle suggestions as though placing electronic components on a workbench and trusting his hands to assemble them. She hit a nerve when she mentioned,<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026kindness is its own reward like a gift from Kenji to you of the blue binder allowing you to carry on his study.\u201d<\/p>\n Victor understood Joanie to mean the signal\u2019s pathway design was finally completed. Kenji provided him with a compass to follow along transistor trail, and Victor understood currents moving through copper also move through people. He knew currents went where it was guided, and money was a current. Victor found the inspiration to provide others with the happiness he found inside a smiling electronic triangle built with components.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Doctor Spencer retired from Junction State Hospital and devoted his retirement years to pioneering the burgeoning field of neuroscience. Doctor Spencer made a visit to Victor before leaving the hospital forever. He came upon Victor sitting with Joanie as he designed improved pathways inside the blue binder.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve spent my medical career learning how signals move through the brain and become interrupted requiring people to live inside Junction State Hospital.<\/p>\n \u201cBig electronic boxes called \u2018computers\u2019 are helping us to understand why pathways become distorted and the signals are lost inside the brain.<\/p>\n \u201cYour blue binder can help us build smarter computers and show us how to repair twisted pathways and confused signals.\u201d<\/p>\n Victor turned his attention back into the pages of the binder not noticing Doctor Spencer and Joanie had left the ward. Doctor Spencer left behind a framed photograph of himself, Victor, and Joanie, taken not long after Victor arrived at the hospital. The photo was a reminder of the first day he didn\u2019t feel alone but happy like the smiling triangle wearing a hat.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Joanie returned to her office from morning rounds to find the blue binder on her chair with a smiling component triangle inscribed with a letter,<\/p>\n \u201cI\u201d<\/p>\n Doctor Spencer explained the notation was an engineering abbreviation for the term \u201csustained current\u201d.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Joanie retired but Victor remained enjoying quiet happiness watching his television illuminating darkness. The framed photograph of Joanie, Dr. Spencer, and himself was hung near his bed. On his nightstand, a vacuum tube gifted to him by Kenji remained reminding Victor that it once provided the glow behind a television screen creating light, but now, he felt like he gifted the same glow creating light to others made possible by the advances within neuroscience leaping from the pages of the blue binder.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Institutions like Junction State Hospital were replaced with group homes providing home-like environments and patients transferred elsewhere. Victor didn\u2019t moan the loss of familiar people because he lived within the circuitry of his mind where the signals resembling Joanie\u2019s quiet voice and Kenji\u2019s patient hands remained.<\/p>\n Victor was the last to be buried within the hospital cemetery. Junction State Hospital was replaced by a new state college.\u00a0 The neuroscience institute created a scholarship for underprivileged students studying electrical engineering named:<\/p>\n The Blue Binder Scholarship<\/p>\n Although the hospital was forgotten, Victor remained broadcasting a signal comprised of memories including love passing like currents between human beings.<\/p>\n Victor Kline<\/p>\n 1958\u20132014<\/p>\n He could not live in the world as it was, by Jonathan Ferrini Victor grew up inside a trailer park with dilapidated trailers packed together like tuna in a rusty old can. His grandmother\u2019s trailer smelled of cleaning supplies; the scent she brought home from cleaning offices overnight. She raised Victor alone after his mother abandoned him for a life as a hippie drifting from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1872,77],"tags":[1873,1123,1758],"class_list":["post-16342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-89-90","category-english","tag-egophobia-89-90","tag-english","tag-jonathan-ferrini"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-4fA","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16342"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16343,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16342\/revisions\/16343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nso he quietly helped build the one that came next.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"