se dedic\u0103 lui Ovidiu Nimigean <\/i><\/p>\n
de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103<\/p>\n
\nPrin \u201990 sau \u201991, am nimerit la o consf\u0103tuire a oamenilor de afaceri din Rom\u00e2nia \u015fi Basarabia. C\u0103zusem \u015fi eu pop\u00eec acolo \u00een calitatea-mi ambigu\u0103 de jum\u0103tate ziarist, jum\u0103tate \u2013 drace c\u0103lug\u0103re! \u2013 om de afaceri! Eram editor f\u0103r\u0103 de editur\u0103 (pe care n-am mai \u00eenfiin\u0163at-o nici p\u00een\u0103 \u00een ziua de azi) \u015fi colaborator la un ziar, a\u015fadar nici c\u00eeine, nici ogar, nici c\u0103lare nici pe jos, \u00eens\u0103 m\u0103 \u0163ineam tare: nici eu ca dracul, dar nici dracul ca mine. \u00cens\u0103 \u00eentre oamenii grei de acolo nu eram nici \u00een car, nici \u00een c\u0103ru\u0163\u0103, nici \u00een telegu\u0163\u0103, nici oaie \u00eentre lupi, nici lup \u00eentre oi, adic\u0103 a\u015fa cum \u00eemi place mie \u2013 de ce n-a\u015f spune-o ! \u2013cel mai mult \u00een via\u0163\u0103: nici cu viii \u2013 mai mult cu viile! \u2013 nici cu mor\u0163ii, nici c\u00eercium\u0103-n pung\u0103, nici parale\u2011n drum.<\/p>\n
\nNici-niciul cu pricina nu m\u0103 \u00eempiedic\u0103 s\u0103 beau \u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00eenc pe veresie, al\u0103turi de colectiv, la astfel de adun\u0103turi, care la noi s\u00eent o lung\u0103 \u00een\u015firuire de chiolhanuri, cu toasturi \u015fi chefuri de pomin\u0103, pitite sub vocabule care mai de care mai simandicoase: bufet suedez, cocktail, dineu. A\u015fadar cot la cot cu al\u0163i frunta\u015fi \u00een asemenea trebu\u015foare, \u00eenfulec, \u00een pofida faptului c\u0103 \u015firul de m\u00eenc\u0103tori de urzici pr\u0103jite, care m-au precedat \u00een clanul meu, m\u0103 face s\u0103-i analizez pe ceilal\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 m-apuce sila. Noroc c\u0103 nu-s r\u0103u de sc\u00eerb\u0103 \u015fi alung repede din sine \u00eentreb\u0103rile privind pe unii care muncesc \u015fi tr\u0103iesc ca vai de ei \u015fi pe al\u0163ii care se \u00eendoap\u0103 de pe urma primilor. <\/strong><\/p>\n \nA\u015fa am procedat \u015fi acum, c\u0103lc\u00eendu-ne \u00een picioare, \u00eembr\u00eencindu-ne \u015fi ghiftuindu-ne de era mai-mai s\u0103 d\u0103r\u00eem\u0103m masa plin\u0103 v\u00eerf cu bun\u0103t\u0103\u0163uri. M-am nimerit cot la cot cu unul Vasea din B\u0103l\u0163i, editor \u015fi el de c\u0103r\u0163i na\u0163ionale, de care va fi vorba mai la vale (iaca rima c-am sc\u0103pat\u2011o!). De Vasea vreau s\u0103 zic, care se \u00eenfrupta lupe\u015fte al\u0103turi de mine, pun\u00eend bazele unui pod de c\u00eerna\u0163i \u015fi caviar \u00eentre noi. Ne-am mai potolit c\u00eend a intrat prefectul s\u0103 ne spun\u0103 \u201ec\u00eeteva cuvinte\u201d care p\u00een\u0103 la urm\u0103 s-au dovedit a fi un sac de pove\u0163e din noul limboi de lemn. \u00cen final prefectul a toastat pentru succesul lucr\u0103rilor, atunci d\u00eendu-ne seama c\u0103 paharele umplute cu \u015fampanie de pe mas\u0103, pe care noi le horp\u0103isem de mult, erau preg\u0103tite pentru toast. Noroc cu fra\u0163ii basarabeni care au scos imediat c\u00eeteva sticle de votc\u0103. Prefectul a toastat \u015fi a plecat. Noi am r\u0103mas s\u0103 \u00eencepem lucr\u0103rile \u201epe sec\u0163iuni\u201d, dar unu\u2019 Liova, cam \u015fpanchi \u015fi cu glas gros, brejnevist, a zis c\u0103-i mai bine s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00eenem \u201egr\u0103m\u0103joar\u0103\u201d, ca \u00eentre fra\u0163i ce s\u00eentem \u015fi s\u0103 dezbatem \u00eempreun\u0103 cum s\u0103 sc\u0103p\u0103m economice\u015fte de porcii ceia de ru\u015fi. \u00cen fine, ne-am \u00eentins la votc\u0103 p\u00een\u0103 seara, duc\u00eendu-se dracului toate discu\u0163iile.<\/p>\n \nA doua zi au mers pe la m\u0103n\u0103stirile din nordul Moldovei, dup\u0103 program, de predilec\u0163ie pe la cramele acestor m\u0103n\u0103stiri. A treia zi s-au \u00eentors la Ia\u015fi s\u0103 \u00eencheie lucr\u0103rile \u015fi s\u0103 semneze protocoale, dar necazul e c\u0103 s-a \u00eenceput cu un nou toast; iar pe urm\u0103, hai, mai lua\u0163i oleac\u0103, olecu\u0163\u0103, olecu\u0163ic\u0103 macar. A\u015fa c\u0103 s\u2011a semnat \u00een final un protocol de continuare a dezbaterilor la Chi\u015fin\u0103u. \u201eVeni\u0163i \u015fi voi la noi \u2013zicea Liova cu glas dogit \u2013 c\u0103 nu-i de chip, nu trebuie s\u0103 ne l\u0103s\u0103m p\u00een\u0103 nu sc\u0103p\u0103m de porcii ceia de ru\u015fi\u201d.<\/p>\n \nDar ce s-a petrecut \u00een cele dou\u0103 zile \u015fi mai bine am aflat de la al\u0163ii, c\u0103ci iat\u0103 ce s-a \u00eent\u00eemplat. \u00cen pauza de mas\u0103 din prima zi, Vasea, editorul meu din B\u0103l\u0163i, vede pe strad\u0103 o liot\u0103 de cet\u0103\u0163eni care h\u00ee\u015fc\u00eeiau ni\u015fte cartona\u015fe, care cu degetul, care cu c\u00eete o moned\u0103. \u201eCe fac aceia, bre\u201d? m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103. \u015ei i-am explicat c\u0103 s\u00eent ni\u015fte lozuri cu o pelicul\u0103 deasupra \u015fi c\u0103, r\u0103zuind-o, po\u0163i c\u00ee\u015ftiga bani. \u201eDa\u2019 nu-mi iei \u015fi mie unu\u2019?\u201d \u201e\u00ce\u0163i iau\u201d. Am cump\u0103rat dou\u0103 cartona\u015fe, Magic parc\u0103 se chemau: unul pentru mine, unul pentru Vasea. H\u00ee\u015fc\u00eei eu, nimic. H\u00ee\u015fc\u00eeie Vasea, un milion de lei! M\u0103i, al dracului! Vasea nici nu realiza valoarea c\u00ee\u015ftigului, foarte mare la vremea aceea, fiindc\u0103 nu \u015ftia valoarea banilor rom\u00e2ne\u015fti. Mergem la chio\u015fc\u0103reas\u0103 s\u0103 ridic\u0103m banii, dar nu, sume at\u00eet de mari nu pot fi \u00eencasate dec\u00eet de la Centru, de la Bucure\u015fti. Na, P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103! Din toat\u0103 bog\u0103\u0163ia mea de prosper om de afaceri, m-am \u00eemprumutat de la Ovidiu Nimigean, care-i mai bogat ca mine, \u015fi hai cu Vasea la Bucure\u015fti. Bine\u00een\u0163eles, i-am pl\u0103tit \u015fi lui, fiindc\u0103 nu avea nici o rubl\u0103 \u015ftears\u0103: venise cu Liova cu ma\u015fina s\u0103 \u00eencerce marea cu degetul. Pe tren \u00eei spun: \u201eM\u0103i Vasea, da\u2019 mi-i da \u015fi mie o sum\u0103.\u201d \u201eO s\u0103 mai videm.\u201d Am schimbat subiectul. \u015ei ce crede\u0163i c\u0103 discutam? \u201e\u00ces bune \u015fi afacerile cu c\u0103r\u0163i, da\u2019 hai s\u0103 facem ceva mai mare\u201d zice Vasea, <\/strong>\u00eendu-mi-se cu luare aminte \u00een ochi. \u201eCe?\u201d \u201eUn pulemiot<\/em> de ceala nu vrei\u201d? \u201eCe pulemiot?\u201d \u201eMitralie de aceea\u201d. \u201eMitralier\u0103? Da\u2019 cum po\u0163i s\u0103 mi-o aduci\u201d? \u201eD\u0103r\u0103goi moi, asta nu te intereseaz\u0103 pe tine. Vrei sau nu vrei\u201d? \u201eNu vreau, dom\u2019le, las\u0103-m\u0103-n pace\u201d. Dup\u0103 o vreme Vasea iar: \u201eDa\u2019 un v\u00eertal\u0103u<\/em> nu vrei?\u201d \u201eCe-i acela v\u00eertal\u0103u?\u201d \u201eUn \u2013 \u015fi Vasea v\u00eentur\u0103 degetul prin aer \u2013 un licopter de ceala\u201d. \u201eUn elicopter? Da\u2019 cum po\u0163i s\u0103 mi-l aduci?\u201d \u201eAsta nu te intereseaz\u0103 pe tine. Noi \u00eel facem buc\u0103\u0163i \u015fi \u0163i-l trimitem\u201d. \u201eNu-mi trebuie, dom\u2019le, ce s\u0103 fac cu el?\u201d \u201eCum ce s\u0103 faci? Tu nu vrei s\u0103 vinzi c\u0103r\u0163i? Le duci cu v\u00eertal\u0103ul de la Ia\u015fi la Piatra Neam\u0163, de la Piatra Neam\u0163 la Sibiu…\u00a0 Tu numai stai, cum st\u0103m noi bunioar\u0103 aici-a\u015fa ia, \u015fi dai telefon pe mobilnic: Alio, trimite\u0163i v\u00eertal\u0103ul la Timi\u015foara ori la Vaslui…\u00a0 Ei?\u201d \u201eNu-mi trebuie, dom\u2019le, las\u0103-m\u0103-n pace!\u201d \u015ei m\u0103 g\u00eendeam c\u0103 poate e normal ca Norocul s\u0103-i sur\u00eed\u0103 unuia care vinde, fie \u015fi virtuale, elicoptere \u015fi mitraliere.<\/p>\n \nAjungem la Bucure\u015fti, scoatem banii \u015fi apoi Vasea intr\u0103 \u00een primul restaurant ultraelegant, indiferent la protestele mele. Apar ni\u015fte chelneri \u00een fracuri albe, cu meniul. Vasea \u00eel apuc\u0103 \u015fi-l \u0163ine cu susu-n jos. \u00cencearc\u0103 o vreme s\u0103 citeasc\u0103 apoi \u00eel tr\u00eente\u015fte pe mas\u0103: \u201eAduce\u0163i t\u0103t ce ave\u0163i!\u201d spuse cu non\u015falan\u0163a lui Richard Gere la un dineu la \u201eRitz\u201d. Numai c\u0103 Vasea nu prea ar\u0103ta a Gere; cu un costum alburiu, cam bo\u0163it, cu o c\u0103ma\u015f\u0103 \u00een carouri \u015fi cu cravat\u0103ro\u015fie-ro\u015fie. Am b\u0103ut \u015fi am m\u00eencat ni\u015fte chestii foarte ciudate, care tremurau \u00een farfurie, dar Vasea le \u00eenfuleca de parc\u0103 \u00een fiecare zi \u00eei pune a\u015fa ceva pe mas\u0103 buc\u0103t\u0103reasa. Dup\u0103 un timp Vasea s-a mai \u00eenmuiat: \u201eM\u0103i, rom\u00e2na\u015fule, hai s\u0103 spaiom<\/em> un c\u00eentic. Aceala cu Siberii de ghea\u0163\u0103 \u00eel \u015ftii?\u201d \u201eNu\u201d \u201eCe p\u0103cat!\u201d \u015ei mi l-a c\u00eentat Vasea, v\u0103rs\u00eend \u015fi c\u00eete-o lacrim\u0103. Pe urm\u0103 a scos din buzunarul de la piept ni\u015fte fotografii: so\u0163ia, fiica Aliona, un b\u0103rbat. \u201e\u00cel vezi pe ista? \u2013 zice ar\u0103t\u00eendu-mi b\u0103rbatul din fotografie \u2013 ista se culc\u0103 cu sor\u0103-mea.\u201d \u201eVai\u201d, fac confuz. \u201eCum nu, m\u0103i rom\u00e2na\u015fule, dac\u0103-i cumnatu-meu\u201d. Pe urm\u0103 am trecut la politic\u0103 \u015fi a \u00eenceput s\u0103 bat\u0103 cu pumnul \u00een mas\u0103: marea gre\u015fal\u0103 este c\u0103 s-au \u00eenc\u0103lcat pastaiano<\/em> normele leniniste, pastaiano! <\/em>. Dac\u0103 nu se \u00eenc\u0103lcau normele leniniste acuma era bine \u00een Rusia. Dar a\u015fa… La B\u0103l\u0163i are o cas\u0103 pe p\u0103m\u00eent \u015fi cu b\u0103ni\u015forii i\u015ftia o s-o repare, c\u0103 altfel n-avea cum. \u201eDac\u0103 la Moscova pravitelstvo<\/em> nu \u00eenc\u0103lca pastaiano<\/em> normele leniniste… Dar n-am avut noroc\u201d. \u00cen fine a \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163it banii, mi-a dat \u015fi mie o sum\u0103 frumu\u015fic\u0103, nu m\u0103 pot pl\u00eenge. Acolo ne-am desp\u0103r\u0163it, el voind s\u0103-\u015fi caute ni\u015fte neamuri prin Bucure\u015fti. \u201eNoroc, m\u0103i rom\u00e2na\u015fule!\u201d mi-a zis la desp\u0103r\u0163ire, \u00een timp ce ne pupam amestecat: cu muci \u015fi lacrimi.<\/p>\n \nDa! Am avut noroc \u00een via\u0163\u0103 de oameni buni. S\u0103 dea Dumnezeu s\u0103 mai am..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" se dedic\u0103 lui Ovidiu Nimigean de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103 Prin \u201990 sau \u201991, am nimerit la o consf\u0103tuire a oamenilor de afaceri din Rom\u00e2nia \u015fi Basarabia. C\u0103zusem \u015fi eu pop\u00eec acolo \u00een calitatea-mi ambigu\u0103 de jum\u0103tate ziarist, jum\u0103tate \u2013 drace c\u0103lug\u0103re! \u2013 om de afaceri! Eram editor f\u0103r\u0103 de editur\u0103 (pe care n-am mai \u00eenfiin\u0163at-o nici […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[310,15],"tags":[1131,1115,353],"class_list":["post-1760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-24","category-proza","tag-egophobia-24","tag-proza","tag-radu-parpauta"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-so","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1760"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1917,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1760\/revisions\/1917"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}