{"id":3066,"date":"2010-01-17T22:22:50","date_gmt":"2010-01-17T20:22:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=3066"},"modified":"2010-01-20T16:18:59","modified_gmt":"2010-01-20T14:18:59","slug":"ierni-decembrie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=3066","title":{"rendered":"ierni, decembrie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>deveneam cameleonic\u0103<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">de Morgothya<\/p>\n<p>I.<br \/>\nnu \u00eemi place dec\u00e2t ce scriu despre mine<br \/>\ndac\u0103 scriu despre al\u0163ii m\u0103 plictisesc \u015fi mi se pare superficial<br \/>\nca \u015fi cum m-a\u015f da pe o pojghi\u0163\u0103 sub\u0163ire de ghea\u0163\u0103<br \/>\n\u015fi oricum mi se rupe de ce le place altora<br \/>\njet \u015fi at\u00e2t<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>oricum nu exist\u0103, nu conteaz\u0103<br \/>\nnu sunt un bufon, circul s-a str\u00e2ns, amuza\u0163i-v\u0103 \u00een alt\u0103 parte, nu uita\u0163i s\u0103 pl\u0103ti\u0163i la ie\u015fire<br \/>\na murit elefantul, \u00eei curgea s\u00e2nge din tromp\u0103, to\u0163i au pl\u00e2ns<br \/>\n\u00een santa sangre e mai mi\u015fto dec\u00e2t \u00een rom\u00e2nia maneli\u015ftilor \u015fi a lui b\u0103sescu<\/p>\n<p>s\u0103 \u0163\u00e2\u015fneasc\u0103 din copaci<br \/>\nramuri s\u0103 fie sacrificate \u00een locul mieilor de pa\u015fti<br \/>\n\u015fi al porcilor de cr\u0103ciun<br \/>\n\u015fi al curcanilor<br \/>\ns\u0103 ne a\u015fez\u0103m \u015fi s\u0103 ne aprindem o \u0163igar\u0103 ne-lights l\u00e2ng\u0103 jgeaburi ro\u015fii<br \/>\n\u00een definitiv nu conteaz\u0103 ce e real \u015fi ce nu<br \/>\nmuza cu m\u00e2inile t\u0103iate o po\u0163i sluji sau o po\u0163i scuipa \u00eentre ochi<\/p>\n<p>beri negre cu vodc\u0103<br \/>\n\u015fi tu mergi cu prea mult la or\u0103, cred c\u0103 am s\u0103 bor\u0103sc<\/p>\n<p>e acu&#8217; deja toamn\u0103 \u015fi vegeta\u0163ia s-a dus dracu&#8217;<br \/>\n\u00een gara mangalia am ajuns prea t\u00e2rziu, era toamn\u0103<br \/>\nluminile aprinse \u00een fa\u0163a ma\u015finii<br \/>\nsunt mai mi\u015fto dec\u00e2t horror-ul v\u0103zut la 4,45 am<br \/>\nspuneam c\u0103 fiecare \u00ee\u015fi poate face propriul blair witch<\/p>\n<p>ai fost culoarea mea din interior<br \/>\ncare uneori, destul de des, exploda \u00een mii de nuan\u0163e<br \/>\ndeveneam cameleonic\u0103<br \/>\n\u015fi parc\u0103 apari\u0163iile astea \u00eemi determinau \u015fi felul de a fi<br \/>\nsentimentele mele se colorau<br \/>\neram un animal diferit \u00een func\u0163ie de fiecare z\u00e2mbet<br \/>\nde tot ce erai \u00een fiecare moment<\/p>\n<p>nu mai \u015ftiu prea bine cum erau iernile \u00eenainte de revolu\u0163ie<br \/>\nam uitat \u015fi c\u00e2teva din alea de dup\u0103 \u201890<\/p>\n<p>\u00eemi amintesc fr\u00e2nturi de g\u00e2nduri din copil\u0103rie<br \/>\nsenza\u0163ii de care, dac\u0103 a\u015f fi fost diferit\u0103, m-a\u015f fi dezis<br \/>\n\u00eencerc s\u0103 trag peste ele o arip\u0103 dens\u0103<br \/>\nnu vreau s\u0103 v\u0103d dincolo, nu mai cred \u00een obsesii<br \/>\n\u00eentre incest \u015fi sex cu necunoscu\u0163i nu e cine \u015ftie ce diferen\u0163\u0103<\/p>\n<p>r\u0103m\u00e2neai \u00een urm\u0103, mult \u00een urm\u0103,<br \/>\nfire\u015fte, eu \u00eencercam s\u0103 te readuc \u00een prezent<br \/>\ndar m\u0103 dep\u0103rtam de clipa aceea<\/p>\n<p>era obsesia mea, erau \u015ferpii \u015fi aripile de animal s\u0103lbatic, jeepers creepers<br \/>\n\u015fi condor events, organiz\u0103m nun\u0163i<br \/>\nast\u0103zi cred c\u0103 ar fi mai bine doar s\u0103 bem<br \/>\ncr\u0103ciunul \u015fi toate bullshit-urile astea nu sunt doar o dat\u0103 \u00eencercuit\u0103 cu pixul \u00een calendar<\/p>\n<p>r\u0103m\u00e2i \u00een urma noastr\u0103, a ma\u015finii<br \/>\nca un c\u0103telu\u015f f\u0103cut pierdut de st\u0103p\u00e2ni<br \/>\nnu mai conteaz\u0103<br \/>\n\u00eencepe acum s\u0103 ning\u0103<br \/>\ne noapte<br \/>\n\u00eentr-una din zilele astea ar trebui s\u0103 fie, da, ar trebui s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple<\/p>\n<p>II.<br \/>\ne cu adev\u0103rat frig<br \/>\nd. spune c\u0103 a\u015fa e \u015fi pe acolo de unde venim noi<br \/>\nse trage din eschimo\u015fi \u015fi e m\u00e2ndru<br \/>\nde c\u00e2\u0163iva ani st\u0103 singur de rev \u015fi \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103 \u00een c\u0103r\u0163i<br \/>\ngerul e mai mi\u015fto c\u00e2nd e\u015fti beat<br \/>\nnu \u00ee\u0163i dai seama c\u0103 e acolo, prezent<br \/>\nca un monstru ce se preg\u0103te\u015fte s\u0103 sar\u0103 pe oasele tale, s\u0103 le disloce<\/p>\n<p>suna a., e febril, spune c\u0103 s\u0103 ne gr\u0103bim<br \/>\nfarmaciile au program special \u2013 scurt \u2013 de s\u0103rb\u0103tori<br \/>\niau metroul p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een cr\u00e2nga\u015fi, oamenii se uit\u0103 ciudat la mine<br \/>\nparc\u0103 m-ar acuza de diverse chestii<br \/>\nnu m\u0103 simt nevinovat\u0103, a\u015fa c\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc de unde dracu&#8217; au aflat<br \/>\nnu conteaz\u0103, ne apropiem, \u00eemi \u00eenfig mai tare c\u0103\u015ftile \u00een urechi<br \/>\nl\u00e2ng\u0103 mine pe scaun e o tip\u0103 dr\u0103gu\u0163\u0103 cu tricou cu moonspell pe sub geaca de motor<br \/>\nmemorial<br \/>\nnu conteaz\u0103, m\u0103 am\u0103gesc, sigur e proast\u0103<br \/>\ne mai bine a\u015fa, scute\u015fti o pierdere de timp<br \/>\n\u015fansele sunt mari s\u0103 fii dezam\u0103git\u0103<\/p>\n<p>cobor \u00een sta\u0163ia cr\u00e2nga\u015fi<br \/>\ne frig ca dracu&#8217;<br \/>\ntremur \u015fi m\u0103 ninge pe glug\u0103<br \/>\nnu \u015ftiu \u00een ce direc\u0163ie e farmacia a\u015fa c\u0103 \u00eei dau un sms<br \/>\n\u00eemi \u00eenghea\u0163\u0103 m\u00e2inile pe mobil<br \/>\n\u00een cinci minute e l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine<\/p>\n<p>farmacista e nefutut\u0103 \u015fi suspicioas\u0103<br \/>\nun adev\u0103rat co\u015fmar<br \/>\nne b\u00e2lb\u00e2im, unul are pisic\u0103, altul c\u0103\u0163el<br \/>\nr\u00e2dem tot timpul \u015fi ne d\u0103m coate<br \/>\n\u00een final ne d\u0103<\/p>\n<p>o lu\u0103m \u00eenceti\u015for spre garsonier\u0103<br \/>\nnu ne gr\u0103bim, nu avem de ce<br \/>\nlu\u0103m alcool \u015fi chipsuri<br \/>\n\u00een pia\u0163a cr\u00e2nga\u015fi se v\u00e2nd brazi<\/p>\n<p>\u00eemi iau foc n\u0103rile de la mirosul de r\u0103\u015fin\u0103<br \/>\n\u015fi o chestie ce\u0163oas\u0103 \u015fi dens\u0103 \u00eemi coboar\u0103 pe creier<br \/>\npentru c\u0103 m\u0103 pot imagina brad<br \/>\n\u015fi asta ar fi echivalent cu mirosul de putrefac\u0163ie al oaselor mele<br \/>\ndin perspectiva unui brad<br \/>\nsau chiar a unui molid<br \/>\nmolidul pentru brad e un fel de negru sau de chinez<br \/>\n\u00eemi amintesc c\u0103 am trecut pe sub c\u0103mine<br \/>\nsunt cele mai triste locuri din bucure\u015fti<\/p>\n<p>\u00een garsonier\u0103 e cald<br \/>\naproape nimic nu las\u0103 impresia c\u0103 a. st\u0103 cu chirie<br \/>\ntragem pu\u0163in<br \/>\n\u00eencepem pentru prima dat\u0103 azi s\u0103 vorbim pe bune<br \/>\ndespre moarte<br \/>\ndespre sartre<br \/>\ndespre dumnezeu, despre cum s-a n\u0103scut tot c\u0103catul \u0103sta<br \/>\nvine v. \u015fi vorbim despre elefan\u0163i roz<br \/>\ns-a luat r\u0103u, dar noi \u00eenc\u0103 mai credem c\u0103 se preface<br \/>\napari \u015fi tu \u00eentr-un t\u00e2rziu, ai avut de lucru<\/p>\n<p>\u00eencepe s\u0103 ning\u0103<br \/>\n\u00een balcoane din astea s\u0103r\u0103c\u0103cioase \u015fi \u00eenghesuite<br \/>\nsim\u0163i cu adev\u0103rat iarna<\/p>\n<p>m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc din nou<br \/>\nc\u0103 vreau s\u0103 fim ai cuiva<br \/>\ndar numai cu chirie<br \/>\nnumai c\u00e2nd avem noi chef<br \/>\ns\u0103 nu fie nevoie s\u0103 pl\u0103tim pentru asta<br \/>\ncu zilele \u00een care nu avem chef<\/p>\n<p>a\u015f face acum oameni de z\u0103pad\u0103<br \/>\ndar e mai la \u00eendem\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 joc cu umbrele din creier<br \/>\nm\u0103 simt la mine acas\u0103 acolo<br \/>\n\u015fi nici nu-\u0163i \u00eenghea\u0163\u0103 m\u00e2inile c\u00e2nd le atingi<\/p>\n<p>vorbim despre tot<br \/>\ndac\u0103 nu ne-am droga, ne-am iubi limitat<br \/>\ndoi c\u00e2te doi, sau poate unul c\u00e2te unul<br \/>\na\u015fa iubim totul<\/p>\n<p>trece noaptea \u00eencet,<br \/>\nascult\u0103m soad, rammstein, nightwish, pink floyd, rhcp, metallica,<br \/>\ncred c\u0103 \u015fi travka<br \/>\n\u00een definitiv e muzica lui a.,<br \/>\npare c\u0103 vacan\u0163a asta n-o s\u0103 se sf\u00e2r\u015feasc\u0103 niciodat\u0103<\/p>\n<p>dar e cr\u0103ciunul<br \/>\npleca\u0163i la p\u0103rin\u0163i<br \/>\nnu pot s\u0103-mi imaginez cum e s\u0103 ai rude<br \/>\ns\u0103 te a\u015ftepte cineva cu m\u00e2ncare<br \/>\ncu salat\u0103 de boeuf, sarmale, friptur\u0103 \u015fi tort<br \/>\ns\u0103 se \u00eembrace nice pentru tine<br \/>\n\u015fi s\u0103 downloadeze cea mai recent\u0103 colec\u0163ie de manele crez\u00e2nd c\u0103 astfel \u00ee\u0163i face pe plac<\/p>\n<p>la dou\u0103zeci de ani mi-am dat seama c\u0103 nimeni nu va mai face bradul pentru mine<br \/>\np\u00e2n\u0103 \u015fi piciorul de brad credeam c\u0103 e mult mai simplu de potrivit<br \/>\n\u015fi mai ieftin<br \/>\n&#8211; a\u015fa p\u0103rea &#8211;<br \/>\nvroiam s\u0103 vin doar cu berea<\/p>\n<p>miroase mi\u015fto 24 decembrie \u00een bucure\u015fti<br \/>\n\u00een cartiere \u00eenghesuite \u015fi printre ele<\/p>\n<p>ninge \u00een continuare, to\u0163i au plecat la rude<br \/>\nne pufne\u015fte r\u00e2sul, d\u0103-i dracu&#8217;, s\u0103 bea cu mami \u015fi tati<\/p>\n<p>trecem pe lang\u0103 pia\u0163a cr\u00e2nga\u015fi \u00een drum spre cas\u0103<br \/>\nmetroul nu mai circul\u0103<br \/>\nbrazii neadopta\u0163i au r\u0103mas r\u0103pu\u015fi \u00een noroi<br \/>\narat\u0103 a solda\u0163i care au pierdut r\u0103zboiul<br \/>\nmiros a r\u0103\u015fin\u0103<br \/>\na cr\u0103ciun<br \/>\na c\u00e2ndva<br \/>\na \u2018a fost odat\u0103\u2019<\/p>\n<p>e \u015fase,<br \/>\ne cr\u0103ciunul<br \/>\nvine 660<br \/>\nsuntem singurii c\u0103l\u0103tori<br \/>\nnu avem bilet<br \/>\npeste tot miroase a brad<br \/>\n\u015fi de c\u00e2teva ore a \u00eenceput, cred c\u0103 a \u00eenceput<\/p>\n<p>III.<br \/>\ntusea e ca berbecul cu dou\u0103 r\u00e2nduri de coarne<br \/>\nm\u0103 streseaz\u0103 individul \u0103sta<br \/>\nnu pot pricepe de ce nu g\u0103se\u015fte bricheta<br \/>\nsau dac\u0103 e dobitoc de ce nu cere p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 un foc<\/p>\n<p>la mare totul era mi\u015fto, era ciudat, era at\u00e2t de frig<br \/>\nunii din timi\u015foara vroiau s\u0103 se sinucid\u0103<br \/>\ndar uitaser\u0103 \u00eentre timp de ce<br \/>\nle-am dat vin<\/p>\n<p>\u00eengera\u015fii se baleg\u0103 \u00een capul nostru<br \/>\n\u00eei explic, vreau neap\u0103rat un pop\u0103 care se pi\u015f\u0103 pe mormintele cu cruci \u00eentoarse<br \/>\n\u015fi de pe o crac\u0103 o cioar\u0103 i se baleg\u0103 \u00een cap<\/p>\n<p>la munte ne-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit cu unii din craiova<br \/>\nto\u0163i aveau vin, am fi ucis pentru c\u00e2teva amar\u00e2te de beri<br \/>\npunkerii din craiova aveau bere<br \/>\nasta p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd au fost da\u0163i afar\u0103 de o proast\u0103<br \/>\nspecia ei n-ar trebui s\u0103 aib\u0103 drept de vot<br \/>\nnici m\u0103car c\u00e2nd e vorba de cine ram\u00e2ne sau pleac\u0103<\/p>\n<p>vreau s\u0103 scriu ceva \u015fi despre mom &amp; dad<br \/>\npentru c\u0103 e o chestie complicat\u0103<br \/>\n\u015fi doare un pic \u015fi \u00eemi place<br \/>\ndar au ajuns a\u015fa cum sunt colegii de la gr\u0103dini\u0163\u0103, grupa mic\u0103<br \/>\ndac\u0103 ai \u0163ine morti\u015f, dac\u0103 le-ai mai \u015fti numele, i-ai putea g\u0103si prin \u0163ar\u0103 sau pe afar\u0103<br \/>\npe facebook<\/p>\n<p>cr\u0103ciunul de la revolu\u0163ie a fost fain<br \/>\npentru prima dat\u0103 se dusese \u00een pia\u0163\u0103 \u015fi cump\u0103rase beteal\u0103 \u015fi spray cu z\u0103pad\u0103 artificial\u0103<br \/>\na murit c\u00e2nd aveam 11 ani<br \/>\nun pic mai t\u00e2rziu<br \/>\ndevenea monarhist \u015fi asta era strange<\/p>\n<p>party-ul era mereu animat, era wild<br \/>\nnu \u015ftiu ce c\u0103cat am avut mereu de i-am distrat pe to\u0163i<br \/>\nartificii, \u015fi berbecul cu dou\u0103 r\u00e2nduri de coarne de pe copert\u0103 se retr\u0103sese pentru o perioad\u0103<br \/>\nera intimidiat<br \/>\nchiar nu vreau s\u0103 zic nimic prin asta cu berbecul, doar c\u0103 e haios \u015fi at\u00e2t<br \/>\n\u015fi chiar l-am v\u0103zut \u00een noaptea aia la cheia<br \/>\nel apare \u00eens\u0103 numai dup\u0103 perioade \u00eendelungi \u015fi obositoare de reflec\u0163ie<br \/>\nnu oricum<\/p>\n<p>au trecut multe revelioane printre fosta noastr\u0103 ceva<br \/>\nprin \u2018a fost odat\u0103\u2019<br \/>\nacum viscolul spulber\u0103 doar un 2009, decembrie 20 \u015fi un pic<br \/>\nacu&#8217; r\u0103m\u00e2n doar d\u00e2rele l\u0103sate de ma\u015fin\u0103 \u00een z\u0103pada maro, totu\u015fi parc\u0103 mai alb\u0103 dec\u00e2t \u00een ultimii ani<br \/>\nnu ave\u0163i ce c\u0103uta aici, lazy alcoholic coward, stupid dull bitch<br \/>\ntr\u0103i\u0163i-v\u0103 jegul vostru de via\u0163\u0103 \u015fi ignora\u0163i-ne<br \/>\no s\u0103 invent\u0103m lumi \u00een care nu a\u0163i existat niciodat\u0103<br \/>\n\u00een care n-am f\u0103cut niciun cr\u0103ciun \u00eempreun\u0103<br \/>\nniciun revelion<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>deveneam cameleonic\u0103 de Morgothya I. nu \u00eemi place dec\u00e2t ce scriu despre mine dac\u0103 scriu despre al\u0163ii m\u0103 plictisesc \u015fi mi se pare superficial ca \u015fi cum m-a\u015f da pe o pojghi\u0163\u0103 sub\u0163ire de ghea\u0163\u0103 \u015fi oricum mi se rupe de ce le place altora jet \u015fi at\u00e2t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[436,13],"tags":[1145,32,1114],"class_list":["post-3066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-25","category-poezie","tag-egophobia-25","tag-morgothya","tag-poezie"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-Ns","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3066","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3066"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3066\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3443,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3066\/revisions\/3443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3066"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3066"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3066"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}