{"id":3770,"date":"2010-03-22T08:24:38","date_gmt":"2010-03-22T06:24:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=3770"},"modified":"2010-03-22T22:49:57","modified_gmt":"2010-03-22T20:49:57","slug":"jucand-sah-cu-un-inger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=3770","title":{"rendered":"Juc\u00e2nd \u015fah cu un \u00eenger"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: right\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\">de Marius Surleac (Romania)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\"><em>for the English version, click <\/em><em><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=3690\">here<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Noaptea trecut\u00e3, chiar \u00eenainte de a merge la culcare, am v\u00e3zut o lumin\u00e3 sc\u00e2nteietoare care a trecut parc\u00e3 prin pere\u0163i \u015fi s-a oprit exact \u00een fa\u0163a mea. Era prea evident c\u00e3 de fapt nu era un vis. \u00cen momentul imediat urm\u00e3tor am \u0163ipat \u015fi am \u00eencercat s\u00e3 m\u00e3 ascund, cu tot cu minte \u015fi haine &#8230; am s\u00e3rit \u00een necunoscut, unde clipa nu mai are form\u00e3 iar spa\u0163iul nu mai curge. <!--more-->Transpira\u0163ia \u00eentregului corp s-a scurs pe podea, sim\u0163ind-o rece sub picioarele goale. Cu ultima suflare am pus m\u00e2na pe o beldie cu care s\u00e3 lovesc \u00een centrul acelei lumini, s\u00e3 o disip. Exact c\u00e2nd s\u00e3 lovesc, ceva ciudat parc\u00e3 m-a \u00een\u0163epenit, f\u00e3r\u00e3 a sim\u0163i durere, f\u00e3r\u00e3 posibilitatea de a-mi mi\u015fca picioarele, m\u00e2inile \u015fi capul. Pe chipul meu se putea vedea-n oglinda luminat\u00e3 o ur\u00e3 nebun\u00e3 amenin\u0163\u00e3toare, din\u0163ii \u00eencle\u015fta\u0163i \u015fi spume de furie \u00een jurul gurii.<\/p>\n<p>Deodat\u00e3, lumina disp\u00e3ru iar \u00een schimb, din nimic, a ap\u00e3rut un \u00eenger. For\u0163a ce capturase \u00eentregul meu corp a fost \u00eenvins\u00e3 \u015fi am c\u00e3zut mole\u015fit.<br \/>\nDup\u00e3 c\u00e2teva minute de incon\u015ftien\u0163\u00e3 m-am trezit \u015fi mare mi-a fost mirarea s\u00e3 aflu c\u00e3 \u00eengerul care st\u00e3tea pe scaun, tr\u00e3g\u00e2nd s\u00e3\u0163ios din trabucul pe care nu-l terminasem cu o sear\u00e3 \u00eenainte, era de fapt \u00eengerul meu p\u00e3zitor, acela\u015fi \u00eenger despre care am auzit \u00een pove\u015ftile de adormit copiii!<\/p>\n<p>\u201eCe naiba?\u201d \u2013 mi-am zis, \u015fi cu ultima for\u0163\u00e3 am vrut s\u00e3-i sparg capul, dar m-a oprit pentru a doua oar\u00e3 transform\u00e2ndu-mi nuiaua \u00een cenu\u015f\u00e3. S-a ridicat, un pic nervos, \u015fi a venit spre mine \u00eentr-o fr\u00e2ntur\u00e3 de aripi.<br \/>\n\u201eLini\u015fte\u015fte-te (mi-a explicat), trage aer \u00een piept \u015fi apoi d\u00e3-i drumul afar\u00e3 u\u015for (ca \u00een c\u00e2ntecul acela de la Dream Theater). Dup\u00e3 aceea putem sta jos s\u00e3 discut\u00e3m, da?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>M-am g\u00e2ndit c\u00e3 visez, \u015fi nicidecum c\u00e3 vorbesc cu o ciud\u00e3\u0163enie de \u00eenger.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eBine atunci, s\u00e3 vorbim!\u201d (poate va spune \u015fi el ceva pl\u00e3cut \u015fi voi sc\u00e3pa repede).<\/p>\n<p>Am f\u00e3cut c\u00e2\u0163iva pa\u015fi \u015fi ne-am a\u015fezat pe canapeaua pr\u00e3fuit\u00e3. A \u00eenceput s\u00e3-mi spun\u00e3 c\u00e3 a sosit timpul c\u00e2nd nu mai poate s\u00e3-mi fie \u00eenger p\u00e3zitor (reguli de la Dumnezeu \u2013 atunci c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i termini contractul ai posibilitatea s\u00e3 \u00ee\u0163i alegi alt\u00e3 fiin\u0163\u00e3 uman\u00e3).<br \/>\n\u00cen acel moment, o concluzie m-a lovit drept \u00een cre\u015ftetul capului. Era clar c\u00e3 \u00een astfel de momente exist\u00e3 dou\u00e3 posibilit\u00e3\u0163i: ori ai murit (ceea ce mi se pare mai plauzibil), ori acel \u00eenger a b\u00e3ut ceva \u015fi a \u00eenceput s\u00e3 se certe cu mine din cauza faptului c\u00e3 \u00eei provoc numai necazuri, \u015fi nu mai poate accepta un astfel de comportament deplasat.<\/p>\n<p>L-am \u00eentrebat apoi ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat de fapt \u015fi mi-a spus c\u00e3 am murit iar sufletul meu \u00eent\u00e2mpin\u00e3 o problem\u00e3 cu locurile libere din Rai \u015fi din Iad (locuri unde sufletele celor mor\u0163i merg, \u00een func\u0163ie de cartea de vizit\u00e3 a fiec\u00e3ruia).<\/p>\n<p>\u201eDa, dar nu se mai poate face chiar nimic? Nu vreau s\u00e3 ajung \u00een Iad din simplul motiv c\u00e3 am probleme cu inima, am tensiunea ridicat\u00e3 \u015fi&#8230;\u201d (cu siguran\u0163\u00e3 nu va crede o bazaconie ca asta).<br \/>\n\u201e&#8230;Da, de fapt chiar exist\u00e3 o posibilitate!\u201d \u2013 spuse, cu un z\u00e2mbet sadic, \u00eengerul.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen acel moment, mi-a venit ideea s\u00e3-l \u00eentreb despre ce este vorba iar imediat mi-a \u00eentins o bucat\u00e3 de h\u00e2rtie, cu \u015ftampil\u00e3 \u00een partea dreapt\u0103 jos a paginii.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eE un nou contract!\u201d (m-am g\u00e2ndit).<\/p>\n<p>Am citit acea bucat\u00e3 de h\u00e2rtie \u015fi mi-am dat seama c\u00e3 m-am \u00een\u015felat \u2013 nu era contractul care m\u00e3 g\u00e2ndeam c\u00e3 ar putea fi, dar era totu\u015fi un contract. Acest nou contract spunea c\u00e3 soarta mea va fi decis\u00e3 dup\u00e3 ce voi juca o partid\u00e3 de \u015fah cu \u00eengerul \u2013 dac\u00e3 voi pierde partida m\u00e3 voi duce direct \u00een Iad, iar dac\u00e3 voi c\u00e2\u015ftiga &#8230; deschise-mi vor fi por\u0163ile Raiului.<br \/>\nAm zis c\u00e3 e foarte bine \u015fi accept, dar \u00eengerul (cu un z\u00e2mbet murdar, obraznic) \u00eemi spune c\u00e3 el a ca\u015ftigat c\u00e2teva secole la r\u00e2nd Campionatul de \u015fah al Raiului \u015fi Iadului.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen acel moment mi-am spus c\u00e3 totul este de acum \u00eencolo \u00een zadar.<\/p>\n<p>Am \u00eenceput marele joc universal \u2013 am avut un \u00eenceput \u00een for\u0163\u00e3, i-am m\u00e2ncat c\u00e2\u0163iva dintre pioni, i-am capturat regina, i-am zdrobit unul dintre turnuri; dar el a \u00eentors cursul partidei \u015fi a revenit precum pas\u00e3rea Phoenix din cenu\u015f\u00e3, sp\u00e3rg\u00e2ndu-mi o mare parte din piesele mele.<\/p>\n<p>Dup\u00e3 c\u00e2teva ore de joc, partida ajunsese la un sf\u00e2r\u015fit: era Remiz\u00e3!<\/p>\n<p>A \u00eenceput imediat s\u00e3-\u015fi smulg\u00e3 penele din aripi, s\u00e3 loveasc\u00e3 masa cu putere \u015fi s\u00e3 \u0163ipe: \u201eDe ce Doamne?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>De cealalt\u00e3 parte, eu eram un pic surprins \u015fi l-am \u00eentrebat ce se va \u00eent\u00e2mpla de acum \u00eencolo, deoarece acest tip de rezultat nu era stipulat \u00een contract.<br \/>\nCu sup\u00e3rarea \u015fi necazul citindu-i-se pe chip, mi-a spus c\u00e3-mi voi reveni din com\u00e3 iar el va fi \u00eengerul meu p\u00e3zitor pentru tot restul vie\u0163ii. Apoi m-am trezit cu ni\u015fte chirurgi \u00een jurul meu, o lumin\u00e3 mare, rotund\u00e3 \u015fi o voce:<\/p>\n<p>\u201eFoarfece, penset\u00e3 \u015fi cinci miligrame de morfin\u00e3&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 de Marius Surleac (Romania) for the English version, click here \u00a0 Noaptea trecut\u00e3, chiar \u00eenainte de a merge la culcare, am v\u00e3zut o lumin\u00e3 sc\u00e2nteietoare care a trecut parc\u00e3 prin pere\u0163i \u015fi s-a oprit exact \u00een fa\u0163a mea. Era prea evident c\u00e3 de fapt nu era un vis. \u00cen momentul imediat urm\u00e3tor am \u0163ipat [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[507,393],"tags":[1147,81,54],"class_list":["post-3770","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-26","category-prozascurta","tag-egophobia-26","tag-marius-surleac","tag-proza-scurta"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-YO","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3770","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3770"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3770\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4316,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3770\/revisions\/4316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3770"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3770"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3770"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}