de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Pierdu\u0163i \u00een spa\u0163iul din spatele blocului \u015fi-au tot dat t\u00e2rcoale, ca doi c\u00e2ini ce vor s\u0103 se miroase. Pe urm\u0103, vr\u00e2nd-nevr\u00e2nd, s-au apropiat ca s\u0103 se uite la porumbeii de pe bara de b\u0103tut covoare. I-au admirat cu ochii str\u0103lucind de \u00eenc\u00e2ntare. Apoi, l\u0103s\u00e2nd ochii \u00een jos, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se uite la cel\u0103lalt, Cristinel \u00eencepe s\u0103 se f\u0103leasc\u0103:<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Eu am la \u0163ar\u0103 la mamaia paisprezece.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Florinel nu se las\u0103 mai prejos:
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Eu am o gr\u0103m\u0103zimea \u00een pod la bloc. Nici nu mai \u015ftiu s\u0103 num\u0103r c\u00e2\u0163i am.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Da, da\u2019 nu sunt ai t\u0103i.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Ba-s a mei, dac\u0103-i \u0163in \u00een cu\u015fti. Tata meu le-o f\u0103cut cu\u015fti din \u015fipcile de la l\u0103zile de ro\u015fii. Eu am \u015futit l\u0103zile de la pia\u0163a Nicolina.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Eu \u00eei \u0163in \u00eentr-o hulub\u0103rie din sc\u00e2nduri groase uite a\u015fa!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Da, da\u2019 eu am gulera\u0163i.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -A mei \u00ees voiajori\u2026 am s\u0103-i fac porumbeii p\u0103cii.<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 O vreme tac. Florinel nu \u00een\u0163elege cum vine chestia cu \u201dporumbeii p\u0103cii\u201d \u015fi nici nu g\u0103se\u015fte alte argumente \u00een favoarea lui. Apoi:<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -\u00cenainte le d\u0103deam coji de p\u00e2ne, da\u2019 acu le-o adus tata meu o serviet\u0103 plin\u0103 de gr\u00e2u dintre \u015fine de la gar\u0103. Plin\u0103 cu v\u00e2rf!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Mamaia nu le d\u0103 dec\u00e2t gr\u00e2u \u015fi c\u00e2teodat\u0103 orez, care-i mai scump. \u00ces gra\u015fi-gra\u015fi! M\u0103roi!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -A mei \u00ees mai gra\u015fi\u2026 umfla\u0163i. Din dou\u0103 buc\u0103\u0163i m\u0103 satur. Fac o burt\u0103\u0103\u0103!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Noi nu t\u0103iem porumbeii. Mamaia zice c\u0103-i p\u0103cat\u2026 Numai fl\u0103m\u00e2ngio\u015fii taie porumbei.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 Florinel r\u0103m\u00e2ne interzis. Tace. Apoi:
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Tata meu le rupe g\u00e2tu\u2019 cu m\u00e2na, uite-a\u015fa!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Da, da\u2019 eu nici n-am tat\u0103. \u00ces f\u0103cut din flori, s\u00e2c!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -H\u00e2, icne\u015fte bucuros Florinel. E\u015fti f\u0103cut din pizda la m\u0103-ta, nu din flori.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 Cristinel \u00eel \u00eembr\u00e2nce\u015fte. Florinel d\u0103 c\u00e2\u0163iva pa\u015fi \u00eenapoi mai s\u0103 cad\u0103, dar nu se las\u0103 \u015fi zice victorios:
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Tata meu vine acas\u0103 curentat r\u0103u. Vai ce curentat \u00eei! zice Florinel, \u0163in\u00e2ndu-se cu m\u00e2inile de cap, a\u015fa cum v\u0103zuse c\u0103 face maic\u0103-sa. Cristinel nu \u00een\u0163elege.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Vine acas\u0103 beat mort, \u00eel l\u0103mure\u015fte Florinel. Se t\u0103v\u0103le\u015fte ca un porc \u015fi \u00eenjur\u0103\u0103\u0103\u2026mam\u0103-mam\u0103! Arunc\u0103 \u00een noi cu ce apuc\u0103!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -E\u015fti un min\u0163itor!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Eu, min\u0163itor?<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Cristinel \u00eens\u0103 nu \u00eel mai ia \u00een seam\u0103. Se \u00eentoarce cu spatele \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 sar\u0103 \u00eentr-un picior\u00a0 pe \u015fotronul trasat cu cret\u0103 pe asfalt. \u015ei, parc\u0103 din senin, Florinel \u00eei trage un pumn celuilalt drept \u00een nas. Cristinel \u00ee\u015fi apuc\u0103 adversarul de m\u00e2ini \u015fi \u00eel scuip\u0103, dar nu reu\u015fe\u015fte mult timp. Florinel \u00ee\u015fi elibereaz\u0103 m\u00e2inile \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103-i c\u0103r\u0103b\u0103neasc\u0103 la pumni pe unde apuc\u0103. Sim\u0163indu-se mai slab, Cristinel fuge. De la distan\u0163\u0103 \u00eencepe s\u0103 strige \u00een timp ce se \u015fterge la nas:<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Fl\u0103m\u00e2ngiosu! Fl\u0103m\u00e2ngiosu! S\u00e2c-s\u00e2c!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Pizd\u0103 la m\u0103-ta! Pizd\u0103 la m\u0103-ta!<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Florinel \u00eencepe s\u0103 arunce cu pietre \u00een cel\u0103lalt. Cristinel la fel. P\u0103str\u00e2nd distan\u0163a, au tot aruncat cu pietre \u015fi s-au \u00eenjurat. Apoi au plecat, fiindc\u0103 se \u00eentunecase de-a binelea.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 \u00cenarmat cu o v\u0103rgu\u0163\u0103, Cristinel vine a doua zi \u00een spatele blocului. I-o d\u0103ruise maic\u0103-sa de Mo\u015f Nicolae, al\u0103turi de bomboane de ciocolat\u0103 \u015fi de ni\u015fte cior\u0103pei: \u201dS\u0103 fii cuminte, mam\u0103, c\u0103 iei b\u0103t\u0103i\u0163\u0103.\u201d Cristinel d\u0103 peste Dorinel, un \u0163\u00e2nc cu muci la nas, care se joac\u0103 de-a \u201dl\u0103boiul\u201d cu o mitralier\u0103 de plastic:<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Tr-tr-tr! Trrrr! La l\u0103boi! La l\u0103boi!<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Cristinel \u00eei arde c\u00e2teva v\u0103rgu\u0163e peste picioare. Dorinel \u00eencepe s\u0103 sc\u00e2nceasc\u0103. Apare Florinel \u00eenarmat \u015fi el cu o biciu\u015fc\u0103 uitat\u0103 de un c\u0103ru\u0163a\u015f \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 la \u201dNon-stop\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Cin\u2019 te-a b\u0103tut, m\u0103?
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Ng\u00e2-ng\u00e2! Chitinel! se smiorc\u0103ie Dorinel.<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Florinel \u00eel ajunge pe Cristinel la cap\u0103tul dinspre \u015fosea al blocurilor \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103-l \u015ffichiuiasc\u0103 peste picioare cu biciu\u015fca:<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -De ce dai \u00een \u0103la mic, m\u0103? Pizd\u0103 la m\u0103-ta! Pizd\u0103 la m\u0103-ta!<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 Cristinel url\u0103 de durere \u015fi fuge la blocul 5, unde se \u00eent\u00e2lne\u015fte cu \u015etef\u0103nel, colegul lui de banc\u0103. Cei doi se \u00eentorc asupra lui Florinel \u00eenarma\u0163i cu vergi de la fier-beton. Florinel strig\u0103, chem\u00e2ndu-l pe frate-s\u0103u mai mare. Acesta sare din balcon de la etajul I \u015fi \u00eei bumb\u0103ce\u015fte pe Cristinel \u015fi pe \u015etef\u0103nel:<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -A\u015fa v\u0103 trebuie, dac\u0103 s\u0103ri\u0163i la b\u0103taie!<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Prevenit\u0103 de vecine, mama lui Cristinel vine \u00een goan\u0103 \u015fi \u00eel trage de p\u0103r pe Florinel, d\u00e2ndu-i pe deasupra \u015fi c\u00e2teva \u201dcastane\u201d \u00een frez\u0103. Apoi zice \u00eenspre Cristinel \u015fi \u015etef\u0103nel:<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Nu v\u0103 bate\u0163i, mam\u0103, c\u0103 nu-i frumos!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Huooo, curvo! \u00eei strig\u0103 fratele lui Florinel \u015fi fuge la o distan\u0163\u0103 convenabil\u0103.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Las\u2019 c\u0103 te prind eu \u015fi-\u0163i pun chelea pe b\u0103\u0163, strig\u0103 mama lui Cristinel.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 Fratele lui Florinel \u00eei arat\u0103 degetul mare printre ar\u0103t\u0103tor \u015fi mijlociu.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Un golan ca \u015fi tat-su, strig\u0103 madam Netc\u0103 de la 8.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Golanule! r\u0103cne\u015fte \u015fi mama lui Cristinel.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Cucoan\u0103! strig\u0103 dom\u2019 Petric\u0103, aplec\u00e2ndu-se peste balcon. Nu suntem obliga\u0163i s\u0103 ascult\u0103m r\u0103cnetele dumitale. Sunt oameni care vin obosi\u0163i de la servici.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Daaa, de la serviciu. \u015etim noi! De la pochera\u015f, nu de la servici, face mama lui Cristinel.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Corect! puncteaz\u0103 madam Netc\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 Lui dom\u2019 Petric\u0103 \u00eei piere piuitul:<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Nu-i frumos a\u015fa, dom\u2019le! mai zice intr\u00e2nd \u00een apartament.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 \u00centre timp Florinel, mi\u0163uit de mama lui Cristinel, \u00eel aduce \u00een ajutor pe taic\u0103-s\u0103u. Acesta, \u00een maiou \u015fi cu b\u0103t\u0103torul de covoare sub bra\u0163, vine cu pa\u015fi mari.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Ce \u0163i-i, cucuoan\u0103? Iar te m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 \u00eentre picioare?
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Golanuleee! Be\u0163ivanuleee! S\u0103 vin\u0103 poli\u0163iaaa! url\u0103 mama lui Cristinel.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Corect! aprob\u0103 madam Netc\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 Tat\u0103l lui Florinel \u00eencepe s\u0103-i c\u0103r\u0103b\u0103neasc\u0103 pumni mamei lui Cristinel.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -S\u0103riii\u0163i, m\u0103 omoar\u0103\u0103\u0103!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Taci dracului! \u00ce\u015fi rup g\u00e2tu\u2019, tu-\u0163i mor\u0163ii m\u0103-tii! o amenin\u0163\u0103 tat\u0103l lui Florinel, pocnind-o \u00een cap cu b\u0103t\u0103torul de covoare.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 Tocmai \u00een acest moment trece pe acolo un poli\u0163ist cu o map\u0103 sub bra\u0163.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 -Tu mergi cu mine la circ\u0103, se r\u0103ste\u015fte poli\u0163istul la tat\u0103l lui Florinel \u015fi ia b\u0103t\u0103torul de covoare – \u00a0e corp delict!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Pe sufletul meu dac\u0103 am f\u0103cut ceva, dom\u2019 comandant. Putoarea asta\u2026
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Gura! Tu e\u015fti \u0103la care ai zis: \u201dTu-v\u0103-n cur de poli\u0163ari!\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -C\u00e2nd?
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Acu’ dou\u0103 zile.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 -Nu sunt eu, pe sufletul meu m\u0103 jur!
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -Hai, mergem la poli\u0163ie!
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -Mergem, dom\u2019 \u015fef. De ce s\u0103 nu mergem? \u00ee\u015fi ofer\u0103 serviciile mama lui Cristinel.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -Mergem, dom\u2019 comandant, dac\u0103 a\u015fa ordona\u0163i, da\u2019 eu\u2026 putoarea asta\u2026
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -Gura! La circ\u0103!
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -Corect! Jubileaz\u0103 madam Netc\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Poli\u0163istul, mama lui Cristinel, tat\u0103l lui Florinel \u00een maiou \u015fi o echip\u0103 de cet\u0103\u0163eni curio\u015fi dup\u0103 ei pornesc spre circa de poli\u0163ie de peste \u015fosea. \u00cen urma lor se face lini\u015fte \u00een spatele blocului. Se aud iar\u0103\u015fi porumbeii giugiulindu-se pe bara de b\u0103tut covoare.
\n\u00a0\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0 V\u0103z\u00e2nd poli\u0163istul \u015fi puhoiul de lume dup\u0103 el, \u0163iganii de la rond, care \u00een privin\u0163a stupiturii eminesciene, mai trebuie spus v\u00e2nd ilicit \u0163ig\u0103ri, \u00ee\u015fi \u00eenchipuie c\u0103 to\u0163i ace\u015ftia vin s\u0103 le administreze o corec\u0163ie popular\u0103, a\u015fa c\u0103 o rup la fug\u0103, arunc\u00e2nd \u0163ig\u0103rile. Trec\u0103torii se reped s\u0103 le recupereze, bucuro\u015fi de o asemenea poman\u0103 \u0163ig\u0103neasc\u0103. Dou\u0103 \u0163ig\u0103ncu\u015fe se desfac la bluzele \u00eenflorate, ca s\u0103 scoat\u0103 mai repede cartu\u015fele de \u0163ig\u0103ri. Vatmanul de pe tramvaiul care vine \u00een goan\u0103 dinspre Centru \u00ee\u015fi desprinde privirea de pe linie \u015fi se uit\u0103 dup\u0103 \u0163ig\u0103ncu\u015fe, mai bine zis dup\u0103 \u0163\u00e2\u0163ele zg\u00e2l\u0163\u00e2ite ale acestora. \u00cen acest moment un mo\u015fulic\u0103 tare ramolit tocmai vrea s\u0103 dea col\u0163ul, dar vede ca prin sit\u0103 o pat\u0103 de lumin\u0103: un anun\u0163! Interesat de prezumtivul anun\u0163, mo\u015fulic\u0103, afl\u00e2ndu-se exact \u00eentre cele dou\u0103 linii ale tramvaiului, \u00ee\u015fi scoate ochelarii din tioc, \u00ee\u015fi trage pe dup\u0103 urechi s\u00e2rmele ce \u0163in loc de rame \u015fi mai apuc\u0103 s\u0103 citeasc\u0103: \u201dAten\u0163ie! Cur\u2026\u201d, dup\u0103 care d\u0103 col\u0163ul cu adev\u0103rat, fiind turtit de tramvai pe asfalt ca o bil\u0103 de aluat sub sucitorul unei gospodine. Se pr\u0103v\u0103le\u015fte \u00een neant f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 mai afle finalul funestului anun\u0163: \u201d… b\u0103 periculoas\u0103\u201d.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Dac\u0103 blestema\u0163ii de porumbei nu s-ar fi giugiulit pe bar\u0103, Cristinel nu s-ar mai fi f\u0103lit \u015fi nici Florinel nu l-ar mai fi pocnit \u015fi nu s-ar mai fi b\u0103tut am\u00e2ndoi cu pietre; dac\u0103 Cristinel n-ar fi primit v\u0103rgu\u0163a de Mo\u015f Nicolae, nu l-ar mai fi plesnit pe \u0103la mic, iar dac\u0103 be\u0163ivanul de c\u0103ru\u0163a\u015f n-ar fi uitat biciu\u015fca, Florinel nu l-ar fi cotonogit pe Cristinel; dac\u0103 fratele lui Florinel ar fi avut servici, ar fi mers la servici \u015fi n-ar mai fi bumb\u0103cit pe Cristinel \u015fi pe \u015etef\u0103nel, iar mama lui Cristinel n-ar mai fi floc\u0103it pe Florinel \u015fi dom\u2019 Petric\u0103 nu s-ar mai fi b\u0103gat unde nu-i fierbe oala (ca \u015fi madam Netc\u0103, de altfel); dac\u0103 poli\u0163istul n-ar fi trecut \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor pe acolo, gloata n-ar mai fi pornit spre \u015eosea, iar \u0163ig\u0103ncile nu s-ar mai fi dezbumbat \u00een grab\u0103, iar vatmanul nu s-ar mai fi binoclat dup\u0103 ele, iar bietul mo\u015f ar fi putut citi \u00een lini\u015fte anun\u0163ul: \u201dAten\u0163ie! Curb\u0103 periculoas\u0103.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0 Iat\u0103 unde duce violen\u0163a \u00een familie \u015fi \u00een afara acesteia, oameni buni!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103 \u00a0\u00a0 Pierdu\u0163i \u00een spa\u0163iul din spatele blocului \u015fi-au tot dat t\u00e2rcoale, ca doi c\u00e2ini ce vor s\u0103 se miroase. Pe urm\u0103, vr\u00e2nd-nevr\u00e2nd, s-au apropiat ca s\u0103 se uite la porumbeii de pe bara de b\u0103tut covoare. I-au admirat cu ochii str\u0103lucind de \u00eenc\u00e2ntare. Apoi, l\u0103s\u00e2nd ochii \u00een jos, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se uite […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[507,15],"tags":[1147,1115,353],"class_list":["post-3786","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-26","category-proza","tag-egophobia-26","tag-proza","tag-radu-parpauta"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-Z4","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3786","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3786"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3786\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3787,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3786\/revisions\/3787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3786"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3786"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3786"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}