translation from Romanian by Graham High & Elena Alina Cerchez [MTTLC student]<\/p>\n
La folle<\/strong><\/p>\n I buy into myself 17 years of triumph, a celebration with Her eyes are still traversing my skin, like a sort of rash entering my body It\u2019s past the midnight of life and death Someone screams from further of, but I can\u2019t drag my feet after me, my heart pumps mercury Even though it\u2019s a secret place in every piece, it\u2019s a secret message translation from Romanian by Graham High & Elena Alina Cerchez [MTTLC student] La folle I buy into myself 17 years of triumph, a celebration with a pack of cigarettes in whose smoke I hide my face, the bed, the future. She invested into a psychiatric book, Predescu, likes the conclusion that I\u2019m histrionic, hysteric, combined […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[585,77],"tags":[1149,603,1123,602,473,312],"class_list":["post-4991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-27","category-english","tag-egophobia-27","tag-elena-alina-cerchez","tag-english","tag-graham-high","tag-leonard-ancuta","tag-translation"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-1iv","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4991","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4991"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4991\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4992,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4991\/revisions\/4992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4991"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4991"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4991"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\na pack of cigarettes in whose smoke I hide my face, the bed, the future.
\nShe invested into a psychiatric book, Predescu,
\nlikes the conclusion that I\u2019m histrionic, hysteric, combined with theatrical attitude
\nnoisy manifestation, superficiality, infantilism, summons, off-centered remarks
\noversimplified and ridiculous \u2013 the eternal \u201evictim\u201d.
\ncould I be like this, when I sit with a check ochre and black table cloth
\nwaiting to absorb the colour, the texture, with the desire of covering someone
\nI don\u2019t know, that way I set my hand free to play at an imaginary instrument
\na song to connect myself with the world, a butterfly dance, the version for my diary of dreams
\nso that I dont care about the nights when I stare at the opposite windows. My only wish is
\nthat a colder wind should blow, its fingers on the window performing like a crazy harp
\nthe music that makes the blood go through your veins like people running from their houses in
\nan earthquake.<\/p>\n
\nhere\u2019s a zoo heaven, it was saying, and he sent a rhino to mess with me.
\nI sit with his horn stuck in my head and I don\u2019t feel a thing, there is the celebration
\nmaybe it\u2019s an hysterical rhino, persisting, and got me between systole and diastole
\nit\u2019s like i\u2019m drowning in her blood before I can touch the lust
\nbeside that still is the rose and love-sweat smell
\nafter love, which drives you crazy, rips you apart into many colourful pieces
\nat least for a few seconds when you\u2019d like to be a whip of love which mangles the sky
\nlike a rainbow. Stay still, remember what it said in an e-mail you got once –
\nmind & spirit you had, interested only in money \u2013 yeah, maybe some little investments in me
\nand in the celebration \u2013 that\u2019s why I don\u2019t care &
\nthe light in her eyes weeps like wax<\/p>\n
\nI sit hanging, like an actor caught in the invisible strings of pride, playing his own sorrow
\nacting so well that he couldn\u2019t distinguish a fantastic yellow of her right cheek
\nfrom the real red which was melting her left cheek, my broken lip, the black eyes of the mine worker
\nfrom where I dug out the coals from her and burnt them in me to warm ourselves
\nyes, sometimes she was deformed by it and lost her properties but the hugs brought her
\nto the right shape. She was made from a material that has shape-memory, and I had turned
\ninto a certain cloth, without elegance or colour
\nlike those you gather into the washing and add so much bleach
\nthey come out the same colour, the colour of storm clouds
\nand on you seem like set of buildings planned by a crazy architect
\naggressive and possessed like a outlaw biblical apple. Maybe the only apple which bites itself.<\/p>\n
\nI wish I could reach her, but she must have thrown the comb already, like in grandpa\u2019s fairies
\nand I\u2019m flinged here, somewhere, without notice
\nthere are a lot of medicine tubes, and on them it\u2019s written that I\u2019m ok.
\nLoad torpedos 1 and 2, fix the target, I\u2019m ok, but then I\u2019m lost
\nsinking like a ship in her waters, actually I was off the radar
\nlike some kind of bermuda triangle. Bip. Bip. biiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
\nI will find myself in some years time and I, I will be awsome. Like when you discover
\nbehind the dust, in the closet, a box with some tapes from highschool. I listen to them carefully
\nthese demagnetized tapes which leave me with an emotion which passes soon,
\nit\u2019s the first time that I think
\nthat people are tall become long after a while.<\/p>\n
\nready to resonate in that intimate place, in which stands a feeling-worm
\ndelicate and deep stuck in the meat that brings old memories
\nit\u2019s the only thing that no-one has sever seen. In its blood I keep
\nsome important things, an unborn child, a gift that I have never offered
\nhow deeply I loved the madness, the un-cried tears at my father\u2019s death
\nand that simple thought of seeing those treasures
\nhow could I give her the best gift, so natural like bathing together
\nhappy, with the changing light of the sky
\nand all the dead people smiling with a glass of celebration
\ntogether with my father.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"