de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103<\/p>\n
\nDespre vestitul pop\u0103 Barton \u00eemi povestise c\u00eete ceva Gic\u0103 Hitruc \u015fi \u00eemi pl\u0103cuse. A\u015fa c\u0103 am tres\u0103ltat c\u00eend, d\u00eendu-mi telefon (s\u0103racul Gic\u0103, \u00eemi \u015ftie patima mea pentru pove\u015fti \u015fi t\u00eelcuri!), mi-a spus: \u201eDac\u0103 mai vrei s\u0103 afli unele lucruri despre p\u0103rintele Barton, vino m\u00eeine pe la amiaz\u0103 la nenea Costache Onofrei din Goruni. \u00cel cuno\u015fti?\u201c \u00cel cuno\u015fteam oarecum, \u00eens\u0103 Gic\u0103 mi\u2011a explicat ce-cum-unde despre acest Onofrei.<\/p>\n
\nA doua zi am luat un maxi-taxi din Podu Ro\u015f, iar de la Tome\u015fti m-a luat un \u0163igan cu c\u0103ru\u0163a \u015fi m-a l\u0103sat chiar la poarta lui Onofrei; aici vorbele s-au legat pe neveste (pe nevestele cui?). Domnul Onofrei care \u2013 \u00eemi spusese Gic\u0103 \u2013 \u015ftie tot ce se poate despre cai, de la iapa alb\u0103 pe care a c\u0103l\u0103rit Mohamed la paradis \u015fi p\u00een\u0103 la ultimul c\u00ee\u015ftig\u0103tor de steeple-chase de la Derby, \u00ee\u015fi plimba arm\u0103sarul prin ograd\u0103. \u201eBaston\u201c?!, zic afl\u00eendu-i numele. \u201eCe nume pentru un cal! De unde \u015fi p\u00een\u0103 unde?\u201c Domnul Onofrei \u015fi Gic\u0103 Hitruc au izbucnit \u00een r\u00ees. \u201eEhei, harmasara\u015fului ista i-am zis Baston \u2013 zise domnul Onofrei, m\u00eeng\u00eeind pe crup\u0103 odorul lui cel mai iubit, care forn\u0103ia agitat \u2013 c\u0103 seam\u0103n\u0103 cu popa Barton, c\u0103ruia lumea \u00eei zicea \u015fi Baston, din pricina femeilor, \u015ftii mata. Era tare iscusit la treaba asta\u2026 tot a\u015fa de zmeios \u015fi n\u0103r\u0103va\u015f, ce nu se mai afl\u0103\u201c. \u015ei uite a\u015fa, acolo, \u00een u\u015fa grajdului, \u00een timp ce dregea un ham hrentuit, domnul Onofrei \u00eencepu istoria popii Baston. S-ar putea s\u0103 bat \u00eempii \u00een privin\u0163a unor am\u0103nunte, dar Dumnezeu din ceruri m\u0103 vede: r\u0103m\u00een drept \u00een fa\u0163a faptei celei mari a povestitorului.<\/p>\n
\nCu adev\u0103rat n\u0103r\u0103va\u015f mai era p\u0103rintele Baston de parc\u0103 era r\u0103sad de iepe de cele sirepe, nu de oameni. \u00cenalt, bine legat, cu ochi alba\u015ftri, st\u00eernea numai oftaturi din partea femeiasc\u0103. Chiar \u015fi celor mai credincioase b\u0103rba\u0163ilor le ap\u0103rea pe uli\u0163ele nesomnului \u015fi nu pu\u0163ine \u00eel visau des. Se zice c\u0103 popa \u015ftia la r\u00eendul patului pe multe v\u0103dane, fete, ba \u015fi femei cu b\u0103rbat. \u015ei asta cu toate c\u0103 avea o nev\u0103stuic\u0103 frumoas\u0103, ca o icoan\u0103. C\u00eend Argentina \u2013 c\u0103 a\u015fa o chema pe coana preoteas\u0103 \u2013 \u00ee\u015fi arunca ochii cumin\u0163i, parc\u0103 din alt\u0103 lume, cereasc\u0103, asupra ta \u00ee\u0163i venea s\u0103 pl\u00eengi cutremurat de tic\u0103lo\u015fia-\u0163i. \u015ei c\u00eend pofta r\u0103zvr\u0103tea s\u00eengele popii \u015fi acesta umbla cu \u201eni-ho-ho\u201c, cum ziceau oamenii, dup\u0103 c\u00eete una, aman \u00ee\u015fi mai chinuia sufletul dup\u0103 aceea. Dar Argentina \u00eel ierta chiar \u015fi c\u00eend \u00eel prindea fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi c\u00eend el se \u00eentorcea, sp\u0103\u015fit, la ea. Numai sfin\u0163ii din icoanele din casa popii \u015ftiau c\u00eete jur\u0103minte s-au f\u0103cut, c\u00eete regrete s-au \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u015fit, c\u00eete lacrimi s-au v\u0103rsat; dar \u00een lume cei doi ie\u015feau veseli \u015fi gure\u015fi ca doi porumba\u015fi.<\/p>\n
\nAici la taifasul nostru s-au mai ad\u0103ugat un alcoolonel, \u00eel chema Boicu, \u015fi p\u0103rintele L\u0103z\u0103ric\u0103, aghezmuit bini\u015for \u015fi el. Boicu (se recomand\u0103 Boi cu cai \u015fi r\u00eese sonor) adusese ni\u015fte crap de Prut. \u00cel primise plocon de la un soldat, ca s\u0103-i dea permisie.. Repejor ne-am apucat s\u0103 frigem crapul la gr\u0103tar, dar nici gura nu ne t\u0103cea. Mai <\/strong>a domnului Onofrei. \u201eP\u0103rinte L\u0103z\u0103ric\u0103, mata l-ai cunoscut pe p\u0103rintele Barton, m\u0103 rog, hm, Baston\u201c? \u201eHa! L-am cunoscut, cum nu. Eram \u00een sate megie\u015fe \u015fi mai mergeam la slujbe \u00eempreun\u0103\u201c. \u201e\u015ei ce fel de om era\u201c? \u201eHa! era om bun, da\u2019 tare curvar\u201c. \u201eDar oamenii din sat \u2013 zice Onofrei \u2013 \u00eei treceau cu vederea p\u0103catul. C\u0103ci dincolo de toate, p\u0103rintele Baston avea har de la Dumnezeu, c\u00eenta frumos ca un \u00eenger din ceruri, cu ochii lui alba\u015ftri. Avea un fel de a arunca ochii alba\u015ftri \u00een sus, spre bol\u0163ile senine\u201c. \u201eH\u00ee, h\u00ee, \u2013 icne\u015fte Boicu de la gr\u0103tar \u2013 ca ochii Ceau\u015feasc\u0103i f\u0103cut\u0103 de Sabin B\u0103la\u015fa\u201c. \u201eDar mai cu seam\u0103 \u0163inea ni\u015fte predici h\u0103ruite, nu-i a\u015fa p\u0103rinte L\u0103z\u0103ric\u0103, de i se dusese pomina\u201c zise Onofrei parc\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 aud\u0103. \u201eSe aduna popor de peste \u015fapte sate s\u0103-l asculte \u015fi s\u0103 boceasc\u0103 ascult\u00eend, c\u00eend popa Baston le vorbea despre p\u0103catele lor multe \u015fi grele, de via\u0163a asta trec\u0103toare, de ap\u0103s\u0103rile din toate p\u0103r\u0163ile. A\u015fa-i p\u0103rinte L\u0103z\u0103ric\u0103\u201c? \u201eHa! A\u015fa-i\u201c \u201e\u015ei mai spune p\u0103rinte, cum zicea\u201c? \u00abC\u0103 de ce ne-a dat Dumnezeu pedeapsa asta?\u00bb \u00eentrebau credincio\u015fii. \u00abPentru c\u0103 s\u00eentem p\u0103c\u0103to\u015fi?\u00bb \u00abNu Dumnezeu v-a adus comunismul \u2013 a zis \u2013 osetinul cel must\u0103cios vi l-a adus, \u015fi oamenii lui. \u015ei toate se vor duce de-a berbeleacul \u00een Europa, de n-o s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00een\u0103 piatr\u0103 pe piatr\u0103, dac\u0103 n-o s\u0103 fim tari\u00bb \u201eA\u015fa a zis, p\u0103rinte L\u0103z\u0103ric\u0103\u201c? \u201eHa! a\u015fa-a\u015fa\u201c \u00abIar cine va sminti pe unul dintre ace\u015ftia mici care cred \u00een Mine, mai bine i-ar fi lui s\u0103 i se at\u00eerne de g\u00eet o piatr\u0103 de moar\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 fie afundat <\/strong>\u00een ad\u00eencul m\u0103rii\u00bb \u201eMatei, 18 cu 6\u201c s\u0103ri \u00een sus, triumf\u0103tor p\u0103rintele. \u201eDa, 18 cu 6\u201c. \u015ei zicea c\u0103 s\u0103 ne intre bine-n cap: Dumnezeu e mare \u015fi-\u0163i d\u0103, dar nu-\u0163i umple bani\u0163a. \u00ab\u00cenvredniceasc\u0103-ne Domnul de sf\u00eenta m\u00eenie \u00eempotriva tuturor r\u0103ut\u0103\u0163ilor \u015fi d\u0103ruiasc\u0103-ne voin\u0163a \u015fi vitejia de a le \u00eenfrunta cu puterea Sf\u00eent Numelui S\u0103u\u00bb \u201eNu zicea a\u015fa?\u201c \u00ab\u015ei str\u00eemb\u0103t\u0103\u0163ile triumf\u0103toare, nedrept\u0103\u0163ile f\u0103cute semenului, oc\u0103rile, asupririle, batjocoririle \u015fi toate r\u0103ut\u0103\u0163ile dezl\u0103n\u0163uite de cel r\u0103u \u00eendep\u0103rteaz\u0103-le de la noi. Iar eu s\u00eent s\u0103 v\u0103 fiu m\u00eeng\u00eeiere la sc\u00eerbele robiei cele vavilone\u015fti\u00bb. \u201eCam sadoveniz\u0103m, dom\u2019 Radu, dar mergem a\u015fa \u00eenainte, c\u0103 \u00eenainte era mai bine, ha! ha!\u201c. \u201eM\u0103 mir \u2013 zic \u015fi eu \u2013 c\u0103 nu s-a g\u0103sit vreun haps\u00een s\u0103-l p\u00eerasc\u0103 la partid\u201c. \u201e\u00cenc\u0103 nu prinsese cheag comunismul. \u015ei-apoi cine? Oamenii din sat s\u0103-l p\u00eerasc\u0103? P\u0103i el c\u00eend vorbea despre Hristos, parc\u0103 \u00eempr\u0103\u015ftia lumin\u0103, de pl\u00eengeau \u00een hohote femeile \u015fi b\u0103rba\u0163ii laolalt\u0103.To\u0163i veneau la el s\u0103-\u015fi ia, cum se zice, dinarul. Cum zice la utrenia de Pa\u015fti: \u00abDe s-a osteni cineva postind, s\u0103-\u015fi ia acum dinarul\u00bb. \u00abDac\u0103 a lucrat cineva din ceasul dint\u00eei \u2013 continu\u0103 p\u0103rintele L\u0103z\u0103ric\u0103\u2013 s\u0103-\u015fi ia acum plata dreapt\u0103; de a venit cineva dup\u0103 ceasul al treilea, mul\u0163umind, s\u0103 pr\u0103znuiasc\u0103; de a ajuns cineva numai dup\u0103 ceasul al \u015faselea, de nimic s\u0103 nu se \u00eendoiasc\u0103, pentru c\u0103 de nimic nu se va p\u0103gubi; de s-a lipsit cineva \u015fi de ceasul al nou\u0103lea, s\u0103 se apropie de mine \u00eendoindu-se; \u015fi de a ajuns cineva numai la ceasul al unsprezecelea, s\u0103 nu se team\u0103 c\u0103 a z\u0103bovit\u00bb. Pe <\/strong>\u0103 zice: \u00abC\u0103 milostiv fiind St\u0103p\u00eenul prime\u015fte pe cel din urm\u0103 ca pe cel dint\u00eei; pe cel de pe urm\u0103 \u00eel miluie\u015fte \u015fi pe cel dint\u00eei \u00eel m\u00eeng\u00eeie; aceluia pl\u0103te\u015fte \u015fi acestuia d\u0103ruie\u015fte; faptele le prime\u015fte, voin\u0163a o cuprinde; El cinste\u015fte osteneala sa, laud\u0103 buna odihn\u0103\u00bb. \u00abPentru aceasta intra\u0163i to\u0163i \u00eentru bucuria Domnului vostru: \u015fi cel dint\u00eei, ca \u015fi cei din urm\u0103 lua\u0163i plat\u0103; boga\u0163ii \u015fi s\u0103racii \u00eempreun\u0103 d\u0103n\u0163ui\u0163i; cei ce v-a\u0163i \u00eenfr\u00eenat \u015fi cei lene\u015fi cinsti\u0163i ziua; cei ce a\u0163i postit \u015fi cei ce n-a\u0163i postit, veseli\u0163i-v\u0103 ast\u0103zi\u2026\u00bb. \u201eHa! Omilia sf\u00eentului Ioan Gur\u0103 de Aur! Al dracului de frumoas\u0103-i, Doamne\u201c! \u201eA\u015fa-i, frumoas\u0103! Tare\u2011i pl\u0103cea p\u0103rintelui Baston s\u0103 le-o spun\u0103 oamenilor\u201c. \u201eDom\u2019 Onofrei, da\u2019 dumneata de unde-ai \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at\u2011o\u201c? \u201eEi, p\u0103rinte! Am f\u0103cut oleac\u0103 de teologie\u201c. \u201eDac\u0103-i musai! Nu-i a\u015fa, dom\u2019 Radu\u201c?<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n \n\u201eDa\u2019 tot era s\u0103 i se \u00eenfunde p\u00een\u0103 la urm\u0103\u201c, coti drumul vorbei Gic\u0103 Hitruc. \u201eA\u015fa-i \u2013 f\u0103cu Onofrei \u2013 odat\u0103 a p\u0103\u0163it-o popa Baston. Ne f\u0103cusem o ga\u015fc\u0103 de cheflii \u015fi pierde-var\u0103 \u015fi nu trecea s\u0103rb\u0103toare s\u0103 nu tragem cu popa c\u00eete un chef. \u00centre ace\u015fti cheflii, cap, de ce n-a\u015f spune\u2011o, eram eu, pe atunci t\u00een\u0103r veterinar \u00een satul popii. Am asistat a\u015fadar la scena cauzatoare a necazului p\u0103rintelui. \u00cen curtea bisericii, popa cu noi, to\u0163i t\u00eer\u00eeie-obiele, ne cinsteam de zor dup\u0103 slujb\u0103 \u015fi m\u00eencam cozonac. Popa Baston tocmai t\u0103ia g\u00eetul la o g\u0103in\u0103, s\u0103 o frigem la \u0163\u00eegl\u0103, c\u00eend, iaca, pe popa Gheorghe cel b\u0103tr\u00een, du\u015fmanul de moarte \u015fi de colaci al popii Baston. \u00abNu-i frumos, p\u0103rinte, nu-i bine s\u0103 faci jertf\u0103 de s\u00eenge tocmai mata \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een casa Domnului \u2013 zice popa Gheorghe \u2013 e p\u0103cat de moarte\u00bb.<\/p>\n \nDa\u2019 popa Baston zice: \u00abEi, mai trebuie s\u0103 aprinzi c\u00eete-o lum\u00eenare \u015fi dracului\u00bb \u015fi face cu ochiul spre noi. Popa Gheorghe nu se las\u0103. \u00abAre s\u0103 te ard\u0103 focul Gheenei\u00bb. Baston, cu barda \u00een m\u00een\u0103, nu-\u015fi \u0163ine cump\u0103tul \u015fi-i strig\u0103nep\u0103s\u0103tor, ca la hor\u0103: \u00abBa mi-i t\u00een\u0103r\u0103 urs\u00eeta. Uite, cum am t\u0103iat g\u00eetul la g\u0103ina asta, a\u015fa am s\u0103-\u0163i h\u0103cui g\u00eetul \u015fi \u0163ie\u00bb. \u015ei nici una, nici dou\u0103, zv\u00eerrr! cu barda \u00eenspre popa Gheorghe. Era c\u00eet pe ce s\u0103-l nimereasc\u0103, dar nu pe pop\u0103 ci pe unul Alexa, dasc\u0103lul \u015fi cel mai mare codo\u015f al popii celui b\u0103tr\u00een. Acesta din urm\u0103 o rupe la fug\u0103 \u015fi d\u0103 s\u0103 sar\u0103 peste un \u015fan\u0163, ca s\u0103 se piteasc\u0103 dup\u0103 ni\u015fte cacad\u00eeri. Dar fiind cam burtos \u015fi b\u0103tr\u00een, cade \u00een, m\u0103 scuza\u0163i, \u00een\u2026 afedron, m\u00eenjindu-\u015fi anteriul de glod \u00een partea de dinapoi. \u015ei era un hlei din cel b\u0103tucit, c\u0103 p\u0103rintele nu se mai putea ridica cu nici un chip: b\u0103l\u0103ng\u0103nea doar din m\u00eeini \u015fi din picioare ca un bondar din cei burduho\u015fi, c\u0103zut pe spate. A trebuit puterea credin\u0163ei a trei babe evlavioase s\u0103-l trag\u0103 de acolo. Ei, s\u0103 spui \u015fi s\u0103 faci asta \u00een gura mare, \u00een auzul \u015fi v\u0103zul at\u00eetor popor\u0103ni\u2026 e lucru mare. \u00cen fine, trec peste am\u0103nuntele afacerii, peste pl\u00eengerile popii Gheorghe adunate \u00een dosare groase la Mitropolie. P\u00een\u0103 la urm\u0103 popa Baston este chemat la Mitropolie, spre aspr\u0103 \u015fi consistoral\u0103 judecare\u2026 <\/strong>mai lua\u0163i \u015fi din vin. M\u0103 ierta\u0163i c\u0103 nu se prea potrive\u015fte vinul cu pe\u015ftele ista, dar, vorba ceea, stomahul n-are ochi.<\/p>\n \nVine popa la Ia\u015fi cu frica-n s\u00een \u015fi trage de necaz unde vede cu ochii \u2013 \u00een prima cr\u00ee\u015fm\u0103 din Buc\u015finescu. Comunismul \u00eenc\u0103 nu mu\u015fcase at\u00eet de ad\u00eenc, iar lumea era vesel\u0103 \u015fi dornic\u0103 de petreceri, ca dup\u0103 r\u0103zboi, \u00een ciuda s\u0103r\u0103ciei. C\u00eerciumile mai p\u0103strau ceva din aerul de dinainte de r\u0103zboi. Ce mai! Era un Ia\u015fi nebun \u015fi petrec\u0103re\u0163. I-am prins \u015fi eu coada. La cr\u00ee\u015fm\u0103 se venea cu familia, oamenii se cuno\u015fteau \u00eentre ei, \u00ee\u015fi m\u0103rturiseau unii altora necazurile, iar de at\u00eeta buluc de lume, \u0163ambalagii nu mai aveau loc s\u0103 mai dea din coate \u2013 d\u00eeg\u00eed\u00eec! d\u00eeg\u00eed\u00eec! \u2013 \u015fi contrabasul h\u00eerc\u00eeia dup\u0103 u\u015f\u0103. Friptura se r\u0103cea \u00een farfurie, c\u0103ci nu mai era timp de ea de at\u00eeta c\u00eentat \u015fi jucat. Dar s\u0103 revenim la oile, mai bine zis oaia noastr\u0103\u2026 neagr\u0103. La cr\u00ee\u015fm\u0103 popa d\u0103 peste nea Costic\u0103, o rud\u0103 de-a mea. Din vorb\u0103 \u00een vorb\u0103 se g\u0103sesc c\u0103 am\u00eendoi m\u0103 cunosc. Cum alta? C\u0103 doar este \u015fi un Dumnezeu al chefuitorilor, care-i ajut\u0103 \u00een fel \u015fi chip. \u015ei astfel Costic\u0103 \u015fi cu popa Baston \u00ee\u015fi petrec noaptea la mine \u00een Ciurchi, la p\u0103rin\u0163ii mei. Bine\u00een\u0163eles, au m\u00eencat \u015fi au b\u0103ut p\u00een\u0103 \u00een zori. De c\u00eentat a c\u00eentat mai cu seam\u0103 Asta-i sara de pe urm\u0103<\/em>. Avea popa acest aht, g\u00eendindu-se la ce-l a\u015fteapt\u0103 a doua zi.<\/p>\n \nDiminea\u0163a, tehui de b\u0103utur\u0103 \u015fi de nesomn, popa Baston se duce la Mitropolie. Porne\u015fte anevoie din Ciurchi, o ia prin Buc\u015finescu \u015fi urc\u0103 spre Beilic s\u0103 ajung\u0103 la Mitropolie. Ajunge \u00een \u015etefan cel Mare. C\u0103lca arar \u00eentr-o del\u0103sare de sine vecin\u0103 cu a acuzatului la procesele comuniste, care-\u015fi \u015ftie dinainte sentin\u0163a. C\u00eend colo vede \u00eenainte-i o c\u0103ciul\u0103 \u015fi o ceaf\u0103 parc\u0103 \u015ftiute.. Mai \u00eencolo aude un m\u0103nunchi de glasuri, cu un \u201eci\u201c parc\u0103 mai moale ca la Ia\u015fi, ca din satul lui. \u00centr-un sf\u00eer\u015fit aude tropo\u0163ica m\u0103run\u0163ic\u0103 a lui mo\u015f Pintilie, din sat de la el. Mo\u015ful era mai scurt de un picior. Popa r\u0103m\u00eene uimit, oamenii \u00eel v\u0103d \u00een sf\u00eer\u015fit, el d\u0103 s\u0103-i \u00eentrebe: \u00abM\u0103i oameni buni\u2026\u00bb, dar se intrase deja pe poarta cea mare \u015fi larg\u0103 a Mitropoliei. Oamenii tac, se reculeg \u015fi \u00eencep s\u0103-\u015fi fac\u0103 cruci\u201c. \u201eDin lemn sau din fier forjat?\u201c \u00eentreab\u0103, r\u00eez\u00eend, colonelul. \u201eTaci, dom\u2019le!\u201c face sastisit Onofrei. \u015ei continu\u0103 \u201eEra cam o sut\u0103 \u00een curtea Mitropoliei, popor\u0103ni cu gur\u0103 mare \u015fi p\u0103tima\u015fi, cu adev\u0103rat ca la o adunare de mir din vechime. Dup\u0103 obiceiul str\u0103mo\u015fesc al rom\u00e2nilor la zurbale, b\u0103rba\u0163ii \u00ee\u015fi trimit femeile \u00een fa\u0163\u0103s\u0103 dea din gur\u0103, s\u0103 se ciorov\u0103iasc\u0103. C\u00eend femeile s\u00eent jignite sau \u00eembr\u00eencite de adversar, au motiv s\u0103 se bage b\u0103rba\u0163ii. \u00abCe te legi, m\u0103, de femeia mea!\u00bb. Protopopul Ioni\u0163\u0103 de la Consistoriu \u00eencearc\u0103, \u015firet, s\u0103 lini\u015fteasc\u0103 mul\u0163imea, spun\u00eend c\u0103 \u2013 vai! \u2013 p\u0103rintele Barton are har \u00eentr-adev\u0103r, cum zic ei, dar ce p\u0103cat, ce p\u0103cat! Nu numai c\u0103 mintea lui \u00eel duce la g\u00eenduri spurcate, dar se \u015fi \u00eenvoie\u015fte cu femei, \u00eendulcindu\u2011se cu ele \u015fi primindu-le cu bun\u0103 pl\u0103cere. \u00abDar \u015etefan ceal Mare \u2013 strigar\u0103 oamenii \u2013 el nu se \u00eendulcea? \u015ei acuma-i ca un sf\u00eent\u00bb.. \u00abDa, da, \u00eei sf\u00eent\u00bb. \u00abOri te pomene\u015fti c\u0103 \u015etefanMare nu-i sf\u00eent. S\u0103 ne l\u0103mureasc\u0103 sfin\u0163ia sa. Poate gre\u015fim noi\u00bb. \u00abDracul nu face m\u0103n\u0103stire, oameni buni\u00bb, replic\u0103 destul de necanonic prelatul. Oamenii ziser\u0103: \u00abS\u0103 ias\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 Cap de Tabl\u0103. El \u015ftie mai bine chichi\u0163ele preo\u0163e\u015fti\u00bb. Mo\u015f Pintilie, zis \u015fi Cap de Tabl\u0103 din cauza cheliei lucitoare, era m\u00eendria s\u0103tenilor \u00een privin\u0163a \u00een\u0163elepciunii. \u015etia s\u0103 \u201e\u00eenfunde\u201c pe orice om cu carte care trecea prin sat \u2013 profesori, generali, ba\u015fca politrucii. Iese Pintilie \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi zice: \u00abStau \u00een fa\u0163a Domnului, asta mi-i crucea! S\u0103 fie p\u0103catul meu dac\u0103 n\u0103p\u0103stuiesc pe cineva. Sfin\u0163ia Voastr\u0103, mai cunoa\u015ftem \u015fi noi, i\u015ftia pro\u015fti, unele \u015fi altele. S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 e dec\u0103zut p\u0103rintele, cum zice\u0163i, \u00eens\u0103 toate slujbele f\u0103cute de d\u00eensul s\u00eent sfin\u0163ite, c\u0103ci darul Sf\u00eentului Duh se pogoar\u0103 pentru cei binecredincio\u015fi. Pentru c\u0103 \u2013 Sfin\u0163ia Voastr\u0103\u015ftie prea bine \u2013 nu cur\u0103\u0163ia sau necur\u0103\u0163ia preotului s\u0103v\u00eer\u015fesc aceasta, ci darul lui Dumnezeu, care lucreaz\u0103 \u00een toate\u00bb. \u00abBine, bine \u2013 zice sfin\u0163ia sa cam ru\u015finat \u00een \u015ftiin\u0163a sa teologhiceasc\u0103 \u2013 dar s-a f\u0103g\u0103duit a sluji Domnului \u00een cur\u0103\u0163ie, iar acum petrece spurc\u00eend trupul s\u0103u \u015fi m\u00eenjind pe Sf\u00eentul Duh. E curvar, iubi\u0163i credincio\u015fi\u00bb, se enerv\u0103 protopopul Ioni\u0163\u0103. \u00abNoi vrem curvarul! Noi vrem curvarul!\u00bb, \u00eencepu s\u0103 vuiasc\u0103 mul\u0163imea de c\u0103ciuli negre \u015fi brum\u0103rii. Pintilie \u00eencepu iar, cum avea obiceiul, cu parabole care se furi\u015fau pe ocolite spre o \u0163int\u0103 nev\u0103zut\u0103 deocamdat\u0103, dar bine \u0163intit\u0103. \u00cens\u0103 acum oamenii \u00eel \u00eentrerupeau; o \u0163ineau una \u015fi bun\u0103: \u00abNoi vrem curvarul! Noi vrem curvarul!\u00bb. Odat\u0103 adoptat sloganul, era acum <\/strong>de st\u0103vilit. Colac peste pup\u0103z\u0103, \u00een acest moment se burzuluir\u0103 \u015fi milogii de la poarta Mitropoliei, schilozii adev\u0103ra\u0163i sau pref\u0103cu\u0163i, femeile fugite de la spital care-\u015fi arat\u0103 opera\u0163iile purulente \u015fi al\u0163i tren\u0163\u0103ro\u015fi. Le plac asemenea ocazii. Acum pot fi \u015fi ei lua\u0163i \u00een seam\u0103. A\u015fadar, auzind scandal, agitar\u0103 c\u00eerjele prin aer \u015fi zbierar\u0103 ca ni\u015fte m\u0103gari \u00eenfometa\u0163i. Ochii protopopului Ioni\u0163\u0103 se rotunjir\u0103, umpl\u00eendu-se de apa albicioas\u0103 a spaimei. Ceata mugind\u0103 se t\u0103l\u0103zui f\u0103r\u0103 motiv precis spre intrarea preasf\u00eentului l\u0103ca\u015f. Calicii urlau cu glasuri dogite, suduiau, mutila\u0163ii loveau grilajul gardului cu c\u00eerjele, ni\u015fte false c\u0103lug\u0103ri\u0163e nebune \u0163ipau ceva de Maica Precista, b\u0103l\u0103c\u0103reau pe mitropolit \u015fi-\u015fi d\u0103deau ochii peste cap. \u00cen fruntea tuturor era unul Vasea, un haid\u0103u f\u0103r\u0103 picioare, a\u015fezat pe un c\u0103ru\u0163 de copii, cu rulmen\u0163i. \u00ce\u015fi f\u0103cea v\u00eent cu m\u00eeinile pe granitul dinspre intrare. Alte c\u0103ru\u0163uri care-l urmau produceau un zgomot asurzitor. Din c\u00eend \u00een c\u00eend Vasea \u00ee\u015fi smulgea ruba\u015fca ro\u015fie, slinoas\u0103. Pe piept avea tatuat\u0103 stema Uniunii Sovietice. Se b\u0103tea cu pumnul \u00een stem\u0103 \u015fi h\u00eer\u00eeia scr\u00ee\u015fnit: \u00abStreliat\u2019! Streliat\u2019! Streliat\u2019! nad\u0103\u0103\u0103!\u00bb. \u00censp\u0103im\u00eentat ca de venirea vremii aceleia, a vinului aprinderii m\u00eeniei lui Dumnezeu, protopopului Ioni\u0163\u0103 \u00eei p\u0103l\u0103l\u0103ir\u0103 poalele c\u00eet ai clipi, \u00een ad\u00eencurile sf\u00eentului l\u0103ca\u015f. Sfin\u0163ia sa urc\u0103 ni\u015fte sc\u0103ri, deschise ni\u015fte u\u015fi, \u015fu\u015foti pe la ni\u015fte nalte urechi \u015fi destul de cur\u00eend aduse \u00een\u015ftiin\u0163are lumii \u00een a\u015fteptare c\u0103 p\u0103rintele Barton a fost iertat; i s-au dat doar \u015fapte zile de mare canon. A\u015fa c\u0103 dumnealor, iubi\u0163ii credincio\u015fi, <\/strong>s\u0103 plece. \u0162\u0103ranii au plecat mul\u0163umi\u0163i. Gloata calicimii s-a \u00eempr\u0103\u015ftiat mai cu greu. Pe nebune le-au mai \u00eenghiontit oamenii, ru\u015fina\u0163i de asemenea m\u0103sc\u0103ri gr\u0103ite \u00eenspre \u00eenaltele fe\u0163e biserice\u015fti. \u00cens\u0103 de cel cu ruba\u015fca ro\u015fie n-a \u00eendr\u0103znit nimeni s\u0103 se apropie. Vasea a continuat mult\u0103 vreme s\u0103 scr\u00ee\u015fneasc\u0103: \u00abStreliat\u2019! Streliat\u2019! Streliat\u2019! nad\u0103\u0103\u0103!\u00bb c\u0103 adic\u0103 trebuie \u00eempu\u015fca\u0163i. P\u00een\u0103 la urm\u0103 a ap\u0103rut o b\u0103bu\u0163\u0103, a scos o n\u0103fram\u0103 bo\u0163it\u0103 din s\u00een, a stupit \u00een ea \u015fi l-a \u015fters pe Vasea pe la gur\u0103. Apoi a apucat c\u0103ru\u0163ul de sfoar\u0103 \u015fi l\u2011a dus pe rebel acas\u0103\u201c.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n \nAm \u00eenfulecat apoi pe\u015ftele \u015fi am \u00eenchinat mai cu s\u00eerg \u00een umbra nucului uria\u015f din ograda domnului Onofrei, l\u0103ud\u00eendu-i vinul \u015fi calul. Estimp colonelul (de fapt era locotenent colonel) p\u0103l\u0103vr\u0103gea despre cum i-a spus soldatului \u201ev\u0103 ordon trece\u0163i Prutul\u201c. Dup\u0103 aceea l-am \u00eentrebat pe domnul Onofrei: \u201eCe mai \u015fti\u0163i despre popa Baston?\u201c \u201eEu am plecat din sat cu serviciul \u015fi de atunci nu l-am mai v\u0103zut. Da\u2019l-a mai v\u0103zut odat\u0103 Gic\u0103\u201c. \u201eL-ai cunoscut \u015fi tu?\u201c \u201eDa. Eram un \u0163\u00eeng\u0103u c\u00eend p\u0103rin\u0163ii lui nenea Costache din Ciurchi m-au trimis s\u0103-i duc ceva \u201eb\u0103ietului\u201c; atunci era greu cu via\u0163a. V\u0103 da\u0163i seama ce a \u00eensemnat pentru mine… o adev\u0103rat\u0103 aventur\u0103. \u00cen trenul de Boto\u015fani am trecut printr-o \u00eent\u00eemplare de pomin\u0103…\u00a0 dar asta-i alt\u0103 poveste. \u00cen fine, ajung eu \u00een sat, \u00eei dau sarsanalele lui Costache, \u00eei mai zic una-alta de pe la Ia\u015fi \u015fi r\u0103m\u00een peste noapte la el, la gazd\u0103.. A doua zi dau s\u0103 plec, dar nenea Costache zice: \u00abMai stai oleac\u0103, m\u0103i \u0163\u00eec\u0103. M\u0103 duc s\u0103 aduc calul de la dispensar \u015fi mergem cu el p\u00een\u0103 la gar\u0103, c\u0103 drumu\u2011i lung\u00bb. Bine! M\u0103 a\u015fez pe marginea \u015fan\u0163ului \u015fi a\u015ftept. Deodat\u0103 v\u0103d \u00een zare buluc mare de oameni venind pe drumul pr\u0103fuit. De\u015fi era diminea\u0163\u0103 te topeai de c\u0103ldur\u0103. Nu-mi amintesc exact anul, dar trebuie s\u0103 fi fost \u00een \u201947, c\u0103 atunci a fost secet\u0103 mare. Colbul se \u00een\u0103l\u0163a p\u00een\u0103 la cer. \u00cen frunte c\u00ee\u0163iva oameni duceau prapurii. C\u00eeteva icoane str\u0103lucind \u00een soare erau purtate de fete. \u00cen urma lor venea un cor de femei. Dasc\u0103lul cu ochii holba\u0163i r\u0103cnea c\u00eend \u015fi c\u00eend \u00abDoamne miluie\u015fte! Doamne miluie\u015fte!\u00bb d\u00eend r\u0103spunsurile preotului. Iar preotul…\u00a0 parc\u0103-l v\u0103d \u015fi acum…\u00a0 e popa Baston; mai \u00eenalt cu un cap dec\u00eet to\u0163i, cu od\u0103jdii bogate, lucind ca soarele \u015fi cu o cruce grea de aur \u00een m\u00een\u0103. Se uit\u0103 \u00een sus la soarele dogor\u00eetor, \u00een felul acela numai al lui. Pe urm\u0103 vin popor\u0103nii…\u00a0 Mai \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 preoteasa Argentina, frumoas\u0103 ca o cadr\u0103, \u015fi d\u0103sc\u0103li\u0163a \u2013 am\u00eendou\u0103 legate la cap cu basmale albe, cu ciucuri. \u00cencolo zumzet \u015fi huiet: corul psalmodiaz\u0103 duios, c\u00eete un prunc pl\u00eenge, dracii de copii se fug\u0103resc printre picioarele oamenilor, cioc\u00eerlia c\u00eent\u0103 dumnezeie\u015fte \u00een \u00eenaltul cerului, c\u00eersteii sc\u00eer\u0163\u00eeie \u00een van pe balta uscat\u0103. Apoi bulucul se opre\u015fte brusc \u015fi se ostoie\u015fte. Preotul strope\u015fte pe \u00eengenunchia\u0163i cu agheazm\u0103. Iar merg cu vuiet mare o bucat\u0103 de drum. Iar se opresc, cad \u00een <\/strong>chi \u015fi se roag\u0103 lui Dumnezeu din ceruri s\u0103 le trimit\u0103 o ploaie, numai o ploaie… Eh, nu se poate uita u\u015for a\u015fa ceva… \u015ei nu pu\u0163in\u0103 vreme dup\u0103 aceea, nici n-apucase bine a se \u00eentoarce convoiul, se isc\u0103 un v\u00eenti\u015for a\u015fa, de niciunde, ni\u015fte prigori umplu prevestitor cerul \u015fi norii se adun\u0103 ca din senin. \u015ei-n scurt\u0103 vreme \u00eencepe ploaia mult dorit\u0103. Da\u2019 ce ploaie, domnilor! Cu \u015firoaie, cu tr\u0103snete. Rupeau caii pripoanele \u015fi alergau nebuni pe islazuri, la loc deschis. Iar oamenii… oamenii… v\u0103 \u00eenchipui\u0163i ce bucurie pe capetele oamenilor. Ploua\u0163i \u015fi bucuro\u015fi s-au adunat \u00een curtea bisericii. Din toat\u0103 s\u0103r\u0103cia s-au g\u0103sit \u015fi de-ale gurii \u015fi de-ale… .g\u00eetului. Pe urm\u0103 s-au pornit discu\u0163iile: \u00abP\u0103rinte, c\u00eend am v\u0103zut prigorii… \u00bb. \u00abTot a\u015fa, c\u00eend eram \u00een Basarabia… \u00bb. \u00ab\u00cen \u2019917, p\u0103rinte, c\u00eend eram la Oituz, uite a\u015fa se adunase apa \u00een tran\u015feu… \u00bb. \u015ei popa Baston parc\u0103 avea sc\u00eenteie \u00een el. Cu larghe\u0163ea aceea a sufletului pe care o avea, \u00eei asculta pe to\u0163i, le r\u0103spundea la to\u0163i, la fiecare \u00een limba lui. Nenea Costache a uitat s\u0103 spun\u0103 c\u0103 popa Baston \u015ftia cinci limbi: \u00een afar\u0103 de rom\u00e2ne\u015fte \u015ftia ucraine\u015fte, nem\u0163e\u015fte, rutene\u015fte \u015fi evreie\u015fte (\u00eenv\u0103\u0163ase de la dughenarii din sat). Pe urm\u0103 popa i-a l\u0103sat pe oameni cu petrecerea \u015fi-a venit la noi la \u015fan\u0163. \u0162inea tare mult la nenea Costache. Ne-a adus o ulcic\u0103 de vin.. Iar o vecin\u0103 de l\u00eeng\u0103 gazda lui nenea Costache ne-a adus col\u0103cei calzi. Era o ucrainc\u0103 tineric\u0103, b\u0103lan\u0103, cu n\u0103sucul \u00een v\u00eent \u2013 v\u0103duv\u0103 de r\u0103zboi. \u015ei popa Baston tot \u00eel \u00eendemna pe nenea Costache s\u0103 se duc\u0103 dup\u0103 Oxanu\u015fca \u2013 <\/strong>\u015fa o chema \u2013 c\u0103 zicea: de ce crede el c\u0103 se \u00eembrac\u0103 de s\u0103rb\u0103toare? \u015ei de ce crede c\u0103 se \u00eembrac\u0103 femeile \u00een rochii a\u015fa de str\u0103vezii \u015fi luminoase? Ca s\u0103 ne lase nou\u0103, b\u0103rba\u0163ilor, \u00een suflet \u015fi \u00een trup o dorin\u0163\u0103 nepotolit\u0103, de neuitat, s\u0103 ne lase senza\u0163ia c\u0103 s\u00eentem aproape de fericire. Numai s\u0103 \u00eentindem m\u00eena \u015fi s\u0103 lu\u0103m…\u00a0 N-a zis el chiar a\u015fa, ca-n roman\u0163uri, o fi zis mai \u0163\u0103r\u0103ne\u015fte, nu-mi aduc aminte, dar ideea asta-i\u201c. \u201e\u015ei te-ai dus dup\u0103 Oxana, domnule Onofrei?\u201c \u00eentreb. \u201eM-am. Dar nu \u015ftiu ce v\u0103duv\u0103 de r\u0103zboi era, c\u0103 era fat\u0103 mare\u201c. \u201eO fi plecat mirele la r\u0103zboi \u00een prip\u0103, bre\u201c, zice \u015fi colonelul Boicu. \u201eEra o han\u0163u\u015fc\u0103 Oxanu\u015fca asta… \u201c, zice domnul Onofrei, dar pe urm\u0103 se opre\u015fte \u015fi face semn cu degetul la buze. Doamna Onofrei tocmai ie\u015fea din buc\u0103t\u0103rioara de var\u0103 cu un lighean de poale-n br\u00eeu unse din bel\u015fug cu sm\u00eent\u00een\u0103. Erau a\u015fa de moi c\u0103 n-aveai nevoie de cl\u0103n\u0163\u0103nitori ca s\u0103 le m\u0103n\u00eenci, numai cu buzele. \u201eIa trezi\u0163i-l \u015fi pe p\u0103rintele \u2013 face Boicu \u2013 c\u0103 m\u00een\u0103 porcii la jir de vreo juma\u2019 de or\u0103\u201c. Dar p\u0103rintele L\u0103z\u0103ric\u0103 amu\u015finase deja aroma pl\u0103cintelor \u015fi acum le morfolea cu gingiile lui v\u0103duvite de din\u0163i. \u201eHa! taman bine m-am trezit. S\u0103r\u00eem\u00eena, coan\u0103, c\u0103 bune pl\u0103cinte \u015ftii s\u0103 faci!\u201c.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n \nDup\u0103 o vreme am \u00eentrebat: \u201eDar nu ne-ai spus, Gic\u0103, c\u00eend l-ai v\u0103zut ultima oar\u0103 pe popa Baston?\u201c \u201eParc\u0103 n-a\u015f mai spune\u201c, zice Gic\u0103 \u00eend jos ultimii stropi din pahar. \u201eDe ce? Spune!\u201c \u201eLa vreo cincisprezece ani dup\u0103 aceea, poate mai mult, l-am v\u0103zut \u00een autogara din Suceava. Era \u00een civil. M\u0103 tot holbam: el s\u0103 fie? S\u0103 nu fie el? M\u0103 apropii \u015fi zic: \u00abS\u0103r\u00eem\u00eena, p\u0103rinte Barton! M\u0103 mai \u0163ine\u0163i minte? Eu s\u00eent v\u0103rul lui Onofrei, am venit odat\u0103 la el \u00een gazd\u0103… c\u00eend a plouat\u00bb. \u00abAaa \u2013 s-a luminat el \u2013 te \u015ftiu, bre \u0163\u00eec\u0103. Dar nu mai s\u00eent pop\u0103\u00bb. \u015ei mi-a zis c\u0103 p\u00een\u0103 la urm\u0103 cei de la Mitropolie l-au dat afar\u0103. Acum era contabil la o pia\u0163\u0103 alimentar\u0103 din ora\u015f. Divor\u0163ase de Argentina. \u00abSchimb putorile ca \u015fi c\u0103m\u0103\u015file \u2013 zicea \u2013 nici eu nu \u015ftiu ce-i de capul meu\u00bb. Pe urm\u0103 am mers \u00eentr-o cr\u00ee\u015fm\u0103 din autogar\u0103; \u015fti\u0163i cum \u00ees \u2013 zoioase. Popa Baston d\u0103du iute dou\u0103 coniacuri mari peste cap, dup\u0103 care m\u00eena nu-i mai tremura pe pahar. Apoi glumi cu ni\u015fte rufo\u015fi de la alte mese. Se vedea c\u0103-s prieteni de pahar. Pe urm\u0103se \u00eentoarse brusc spre mine: \u00abAuzi? \u0162ine minte ce-\u0163i spun! Eu \u015ftiu ceea ce Biblia \u015fi Sfin\u0163ii P\u0103rin\u0163i nu vor s\u0103 spun\u0103. Nu conteaz\u0103 c\u0103 e\u015fti p\u0103c\u0103tos, c-o iei pe c\u0103i gre\u015fite. Sau conteaz\u0103 \u015fi asta, dar mai pu\u0163in. Dumnezeu rabd\u0103 multe \u015fi iart\u0103. Nu te p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte. \u015etie c\u0103 sufletul omului e un sac de purici, bre. Nu-l po\u0163i st\u0103p\u00eeni: o dat\u0103 urc\u0103, alt\u0103 dat\u0103 coboar\u0103, alt\u0103 dat\u0103 o ia pe ocoli\u015f…\u00a0 Nu conteaz\u0103, auzi? Dar c\u00eend oamenii nu se mai iubesc unii pe al\u0163ii, ajung nep\u0103s\u0103tori unii fa\u0163\u0103 de al\u0163ii \u015fi merg singuri singurei, ca pe ni\u015fte \u015fine care nu se ating niciodat\u0103 \u2013 atunci \u00eei de r\u0103u. Auzi? Cumplit de r\u0103u. \u00cei r\u0103u c\u00eend s\u00eentem c\u0103ldicei<\/em>, cum spune la <\/strong>\u0103: \u00abFiindc\u0103 e\u015fti c\u0103ldicel \u2013 nici fierbinte, nici rece \u2013 am s\u0103 te v\u0103rs din gura Mea\u00bb. Atunci c\u00eend neiubirea o s\u0103 se \u00eenst\u0103p\u00eeneasc\u0103 \u015fi oamenii or s\u0103 ajung\u0103 ca ni\u015fte ma\u015fini care lucreaz\u0103 \u00een gol, atunci \u2013 \u015fi m-a tras cu for\u0163a mai \u00eenspre el, \u015foptindu-mi la ureche \u2013 atunci se va \u00eent\u00eempla ceea ce Biblia t\u0103inuie\u015fte: Dumnezeu o s\u0103 moar\u0103. Auzi? Ia aminte! O s\u0103 moar\u0103! Nu Nietzsche L\u2011a omor\u00eet, nici comuni\u015ftii n-or s\u0103-L omoare, ci nep\u0103sarea \u015fi neiubirea noastr\u0103. Auzi? Trebuie s\u0103 ne trezim p\u00een\u0103 nu e prea t\u00eerziu. S\u0103 ne trezim!\u00bb Spunea toate acestea \u015fi se uita, cum arunca el ochii \u00een sus, spre tavanul galben-murdar \u015fi co\u015fcovit al cr\u00ee\u015fmei. Dar acolo nu cr\u0103pau bol\u0163ile \u00een dou\u0103, nu se cutremura lumea, nu se \u00eenfrico\u015fa nimeni de a\u015fa predic\u0103. Clien\u0163ii continuau s\u0103 bea \u015fi s\u0103 tr\u0103nc\u0103neasc\u0103, pasagerii s\u0103 se v\u00eenzoleasc\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 noim\u0103 prin autogar\u0103… Ultima imagine care mi-a r\u0103mas \u00een minte: o chelneri\u0163\u0103 \u0163\u00ee\u0163oas\u0103 b\u0103tea un \u0163\u0103ran beat: cu st\u00eenga \u00eel \u0163inea ca s\u0103 nu se pr\u0103vale iar cu dreapta \u00eel pocnea \u00een obraz. \u0162\u0103ranul se \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u0163\u00eena s\u0103 nu lase biciul din m\u00een\u0103… Am plecat \u015fi nu l-am mai v\u0103zut pe popa Baston nici p\u00een\u0103 \u00een ziua de azi\u201c.<\/p>\n \nC\u00eend am plecat de la domnul Onofrei, soarele \u00ee\u015fi cernea razele piezi\u015fe prin coroana \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103teasc\u0103 a nucului din ograd\u0103 \u015fi f\u0103cea s\u0103 c\u00eente coco\u015ful pe o movil\u0103de b\u0103legar \u015fi s\u0103 g\u00eengureasc\u0103 porumbeii pe acoperi\u015f. Mirosul persistent de benzin\u0103 dinspre \u015fosea se lupta cu mirosul dulceag ce n\u0103p\u0103dea pe u\u015fa deschis\u0103 a grajdului, \u00een care calul Baston necheza cu capul \u00eentors spre lumin\u0103. Ca \u00eentr-o epifanie!<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n \nAcum c\u00ee\u0163iva ani am avut ocazia s\u0103 merg la Suceava. M-am g\u00eendit s\u0103-l caut pe fostul pop\u0103 Baston, a\u015fa c\u0103 am luat adresa lui de la Gic\u0103 Hitruc. Termin\u00eendu-mi treburile \u00een Suceava, am mers \u00een cartierul indicat. Am intrat \u00eentr-un bar s\u0103 m\u0103 interesez de adres\u0103. Pe Veronica, fata de la bar care m-a servit cu cafea, n-o puteam \u00eentreba: era ocupat\u0103. \u00cei povestea unui b\u0103ie\u0163andru cu hain\u0103 de piele \u015fi sc\u0103f\u00eerlie tuns\u0103 scurt, c\u0103 fusese seara trecut\u0103 la o b\u0103ut\u0103<\/em>unde atmosfera a fost futere<\/em>. P\u0103cat doar c\u0103 muzica a fost de c\u0103cat<\/em>. De fapt Veronica p\u0103rea o bogumilic\u0103, \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163ind toate ale lumii \u00een dou\u0103 entit\u0103\u0163i fundamental distincte: entitatea futere<\/em>\u015fi entitatea de c\u0103cat<\/em>. Astfel am aflat c\u0103 anumi\u0163i gagimani, pantofii italiene\u015fti<\/em>, pizza <\/em>la Bar Rock, Eminem <\/em>s\u00eent futere <\/em>\u00een timp ce al\u0163i gagimani<\/em>, pantofii rom\u00e2ne\u015fti, sarmalele <\/em>f\u0103cute de maic\u0103-sa \u015fi Marcel Pavel <\/em>\u00eent de c\u0103cat<\/em>.. Dar am renun\u0163at repede s\u0103 m\u0103 mai holbez la Veronica (nu aprindea \u2013 ca cealalt\u0103 Veronic\u0103 \u2013 candela iubirii pe p\u0103m\u00eent, dar \u00ee\u0163i aprindea cereblegul <\/em>cu bluzi\u0163a ei mai mult dec\u00eet sub\u0163ire care te f\u0103cea s\u0103 consta\u0163i c\u0103 e o \u00eenfocat\u0103 partizan\u0103 a desfiin\u0163\u0103rii sutienului) fiindc\u0103 gagimanul<\/em>ei se uita de Thailanda<\/em>la mine. A\u015fa c\u0103 am privit roat\u0103 \u00eemprejur \u00een bar. Se pare c\u0103 era un bar al rockerilor: to\u0163i aveau haine de piele, to\u0163i aveau felurite lan\u0163uri, l\u0103n\u0163uguri \u015fi alte cioveie de tinichea, to\u0163i aveau sc\u0103f\u00eerliile f\u0103\u0163uite, ca sfecla de zah\u0103r \u00eenainte de a o predafabric\u0103. Noroc de un pa\u015fnic alcoolic care str\u00eengea paharele goale \u015fi le ducea la bar, ca s\u0103 i se dea o cinzeac\u0103 (oh, aceast\u0103 permanen\u0163\u0103, aceast\u0103 d\u0103inuire \u00eenc\u0103 de pe vremea cr\u00ee\u015fmelor dacice!). Blajin, omul mi-a explicat cum pot ajunge la adresa respectiv\u0103.<\/p>\n \n\u00cent\u00eerziam l\u00eeng\u0103 cafeaua le\u015fioas\u0103. S-a f\u0103cut sear\u0103; s-au aprins luminile; pere\u0163ii albi \u015fi reci au c\u0103p\u0103tat acea triste\u0163e a tuturor pere\u0163ilor ilumina\u0163i de neon; stelele pe cer se vedeau g\u0103lbejite printre autocolantele cu Coca-Cola de pe geam; rockerii vorbeau vrute \u015fi \u00eenchipuite despre dumnezeii lor zgomoto\u015fi…<\/p>\n \nAm mai luat o gur\u0103 din cafeaua de cenu\u015f\u0103 \u015fi am plecat f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-l mai caut pe popa Baston.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" de Radu P\u0103rp\u0103u\u0163\u0103 Despre vestitul pop\u0103 Barton \u00eemi povestise c\u00eete ceva Gic\u0103 Hitruc \u015fi \u00eemi pl\u0103cuse. A\u015fa c\u0103 am tres\u0103ltat c\u00eend, d\u00eendu-mi telefon (s\u0103racul Gic\u0103, \u00eemi \u015ftie patima mea pentru pove\u015fti \u015fi t\u00eelcuri!), mi-a spus: \u201eDac\u0103 mai vrei s\u0103 afli unele lucruri despre p\u0103rintele Barton, vino m\u00eeine pe la amiaz\u0103 la nenea Costache Onofrei din […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[615,15],"tags":[1150,1115,353],"class_list":["post-5343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-28","category-proza","tag-egophobia-28","tag-proza","tag-radu-parpauta"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-1ob","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5343"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5344,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5343\/revisions\/5344"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}