{"id":5364,"date":"2010-09-18T10:25:45","date_gmt":"2010-09-18T08:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=5364"},"modified":"2011-09-06T21:36:24","modified_gmt":"2011-09-06T19:36:24","slug":"romania-pe-scurt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=5364","title":{"rendered":"rom\u00e2nia pe scurt"},"content":{"rendered":"

(cronica nihilistei)<\/span><\/p>\n

de Cristina Nemerovschi (Morgothya)<\/p>\n

Nu m-a mirat \u015fi nu m-a revoltat c\u00e2tu\u015fi de pu\u0163in s\u0103 citesc rezultatele unui sondaj care ar\u0103tau c\u0103 patruzeci la sut\u0103 dintre rom\u00e2ni sunt de p\u0103rere c\u0103 soarele se \u00eenv\u00e2rte \u00een jurul p\u0103m\u00e2ntului (what the heck, we are all god\u2019s magnificent creation, aren\u2019t we?), c\u0103 patru din cinci rom\u00e2ni nu au auzit sau nu sunt de acord cu teoria evolu\u0163ionist\u0103 \u015fi sunt \u00een schimb convin\u015fi c\u0103 dumnezeu a creat toate vie\u0163uitoarele a\u015fa cum sunt ast\u0103zi \u015fi a\u015fa vor r\u0103m\u00e2ne p\u00e2n\u0103 la sf\u00e2r\u015fitul lumii, adic\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd d-zeu va suna din cornu-i fermecat \u015fi va proclama apocalipsa. Patru din cinci rom\u00e2ni \u00ee\u015fi \u00eempart weekendul \u00eentre mers la biseric\u0103 \u015fi gr\u0103tar asezonat cu manele din cea mai recent\u0103 colec\u0163ie. \u00cen fond, combina\u0163ia e bun\u0103, cele dou\u0103 \u2013 biserica \u015fi gr\u0103tarul \u2013 merg m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, mai na\u015fpa e \u00een perioadele de post, dar \u00eemp\u0103c\u0103m noi capra \u015fi varza chiar \u015fi atunci.<\/p>\n

Din acela\u015fi sondaj reie\u015fea c\u0103, altfel, rom\u00e2nii sunt speciali\u015fti \u00een ocultismul de balt\u0103 – \u015ftiu cum e cu numerele norocoase \u015fi zodiile, horoscopul fiind a doua rubric\u0103 din ziare citit\u0103 imediat dup\u0103 cea monden\u0103, cum ro\u015ful fere\u015fte de desc\u00e2ntece \u015fi farmece \u015fi eterna axiom\u0103 cum c\u0103 dac\u0103 ai noroc la c\u0103r\u0163i, n-ai noroc \u00een dragoste. Avizi dup\u0103 \u015ftirile de la ora 5, dup\u0103 crime, violuri c\u00e2t mai neobi\u015fnuite (m\u0103car un pedofil, un gerontofil, un pop\u0103 sau o g\u0103in\u0103, c\u0103 de astea normale ne-am s\u0103turat de prin ’95), dup\u0103 lacrimi \u015fi desp\u0103r\u0163iri \u00een direct, cei patru din cinci dreptcredincio\u015fi nu v\u0103d nicio contradic\u0163ie, nicio inconsisten\u0163\u0103 \u00eentre aceste reminiscen\u0163e ale p\u0103g\u00e2nismului \u015fi cre\u015ftinismul ce-i define\u015fte \u015fi care le d\u0103 un sens bine determinat al vie\u0163ii de zi cu zi.<\/p>\n

Nici s\u0103 ai idoli nu pare s\u0103 intre cumva \u00een contradic\u0163ie cu religia lor. \u00centr-un or\u0103\u015fel de provincie, la ora 20 \u015fi zece minute, halbele de bere \u00eencremenesc la jum\u0103tatea drumului dintre fa\u0163a de mas\u0103 p\u0103tat\u0103, cu p\u0103tr\u0103\u0163ele albe \u015fi ro\u015fii, \u015fi gura consumatorului. Nevasta se opre\u015fte cu m\u00e2inile pline de cl\u0103buci, l\u0103s\u00e2nd rufele s\u0103 se l\u0103b\u0103r\u0163eze \u00een cad\u0103, de team\u0103 ca nu cumva s\u0103 fac\u0103 zgomot, s\u0103-\u015fi deranjeze consortul picat \u00een emula\u0163ie \u00een fa\u0163a televizorului \u015fi s\u0103 \u015fi-o ia din nou pe coaj\u0103. Copiii las\u0103 mingea pe maidan \u015fi alearg\u0103 s\u0103 prind\u0103 \u015fi ei un loc \u00een fa\u0163a televizorului. E ora la care, \u00een zilele norocoase, le VORBE\u015eTE ZEUL. Cu o c\u0103ma\u015f\u0103 multicolor\u0103, asortat\u0103 la o cravat\u0103 mov cu buline galbene, gigi becali \u00ee\u015fi \u015fterge praful de pe pantofiorii albi cu v\u00e2rf ascu\u0163it \u015fi \u00eentors, apoi, cu aceea\u015fi batist\u0103, care obligatoriu trebuie prins\u0103 \u00een cadru de c\u0103tre camer\u0103, pentru c\u0103 de lux, adus\u0103 din italia, \u00ee\u015fi \u015fterge \u015fi broboanele de transpira\u0163ie de pe frunte. C\u0103ldur\u0103 mare. Face un compliment reporteri\u0163ei. Apoi \u00eentr\u0103 \u00een subiectul arz\u0103tor al zilei: \u201cCine, m\u0103, \u0103ia???! P\u0103i noi ne pi\u015f\u0103m pe \u0103ia, m\u0103! \u00cei batem de-i l\u0103s\u0103m la\u0163i, mama lor, s\u0103 m\u0103 sug\u0103 pe mine!\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n

Rom\u00e2nia are \u015fi logo mai nou \u015fi to\u0163i vorbesc despre asta, ca \u015fi cum un rahat de frunz\u0103 verde pe un fond alb chiar ne-ar privi pe noi, chiar ne-ar atinge cu ceva vie\u0163ile, ar disp\u0103rea aurolacii \u015fi maneli\u015ftii, s-ar g\u0103si o solu\u0163ie pentru problema c\u00e2inilor f\u0103r\u0103 st\u0103p\u00e2n, lumea ar fi dintr-o dat\u0103 mai bun\u0103 pentru c\u0103 rom\u00e2nia are frunz\u0103 verde cu dunguli\u0163\u0103 albastr\u0103 pe fond alb. Se discut\u0103 aprins dac\u0103 este sau nu plagiat acest logo, ca \u015fi cum milfa blondu\u0163\u0103 udrea abia la mijlocul anului de gra\u0163ie 2010 descoper\u0103 non\u015falant\u0103 domeniul crea\u0163iei publicitare \u015fi se minuneaz\u0103 c\u0103 98 la sut\u0103 dintre logo-uri \u015fi sloganuri sunt \u00eemprumutate de prin alte p\u0103r\u0163i. \u00centr-o singur\u0103 privin\u0163\u0103 au \u00eens\u0103 dreptate \u015fi cei care spun c\u0103 acest logo nu define\u015fte cu acurate\u0163e rom\u00e2nia. P\u0103i n-o define\u015fte. O frunzuli\u0163\u0103 \u015fi o api\u015foar\u0103 las\u0103 \u00eempresia c\u0103 tr\u0103im \u00eentr-un paradis c\u00e2t se poate de lini\u015ftit, un t\u0103r\u00e2m \u00eencremenit \u00een contempla\u0163ie, un loc \u00een care nimic \u00eenfric\u0103\u015f\u0103tor nu se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, un teritoriu ce vegeteaz\u0103 \u015fi \u00ee\u015fi a\u015fteapt\u0103 cu bra\u0163ele deschise vizitatorii, murind de ner\u0103bdare s\u0103 le arate \u015fi acestora frumuse\u0163ile pe care le posed\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 a le cere nimic \u00een schimb, fire\u015fte, din pur\u0103 m\u0103rinimie. Dar rom\u00e2nia, turistic\u0103 sau nu, nu este o frunzuli\u0163\u0103 \u015fi o api\u015foar\u0103. \u00cen locul logo-ului plagiat ar fi mers ceva ce ar fi fost p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 apreciat pentru originalitate \u2013 prin grotescul \u015fi realismul s\u0103u, ar fi t\u0103iat oricui elanul de a-\u015fi proclama adev\u0103rata paternitate asupra ideei \u015fi execu\u0163iei: un mic pu\u0163in cam nef\u0103cut pe o parte (pe aia de dedesubt, c\u0103 tot nu se vede) acoperit pe jum\u0103tate cu mu\u015ftar, un pahar de bere pe jum\u0103tate gol (a\u015fa cum \u00ee\u0163i este servit \u00eentotdeauna de la dozator, un pic agitat pentru ca lichidul trezit s\u0103 mai produc\u0103 un rest de spum\u0103, ca un biet sexagenar animat de pastila magic\u0103 s\u0103 mai produc\u0103 ultimele pic\u0103turi de sperm\u0103) \u015fi c\u00e2teva coji de semin\u0163e de floarea soarelui, cu pu\u0163in scuipat pe ele, pentru un luciu de vis. A, da. \u015ei o turl\u0103 ascu\u0163it\u0103 cu cruce \u00een v\u00e2rf. ASTA ESTE ROM\u00c2NIA.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(cronica nihilistei) de Cristina Nemerovschi (Morgothya) Nu m-a mirat \u015fi nu m-a revoltat c\u00e2tu\u015fi de pu\u0163in s\u0103 citesc rezultatele unui sondaj care ar\u0103tau c\u0103 patruzeci la sut\u0103 dintre rom\u00e2ni sunt de p\u0103rere c\u0103 soarele se \u00eenv\u00e2rte \u00een jurul p\u0103m\u00e2ntului (what the heck, we are all god\u2019s magnificent creation, aren\u2019t we?), c\u0103 patru din cinci rom\u00e2ni […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,555,615],"tags":[1120,1148,1150,32],"class_list":["post-5364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articole","category-cronica-nihilistei","category-egophobia-28","tag-articole","tag-cronica-nihilistei","tag-egophobia-28","tag-morgothya"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-1ow","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5364"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7387,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5364\/revisions\/7387"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}