de Cristina Nemerovschi<\/p>\n
\nMi-a spus c\u0103 o cheam\u0103 Elodia. Era frumoas\u0103, chiar foarte frumoas\u0103, sau cel pu\u0163in lumina orbitoare a dup\u0103-amiezii de august o f\u0103cea s\u0103 par\u0103 astfel. Avea p\u0103rul de lungime medie, blondu\u0163 \u015fi pu\u0163in ondulat \u015fi o mutri\u015foar\u0103 dulce. \u00cen ochi i se citea o triste\u0163e mai degrab\u0103 resemnat\u0103, ce te f\u0103cea s\u0103 crezi c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi amintea din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd de v\u00e2rsta la care fusese inocent\u0103, de vremurile \u00een care nu primise \u00eenc\u0103 niciun picior \u00een cur, niciun scuipat \u00eentre ochi \u015fi nicio \u00eenjur\u0103tur\u0103. Ani \u00een care tr\u0103ise oarecum paralel cu lumea real\u0103, dar care acum se sf\u00e2r\u015fiser\u0103. \nElodia nu a murit, nu a p\u0103\u0163it nimic tragic \u015fi nici nu ne-am desp\u0103r\u0163it definitiv. O v\u0103d de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd trec pe M\u0103t\u0103sari. Ne-am mai plimbat \u00eempreun\u0103. \u00centre timp, bl\u0103ni\u0163a i s-a mai \u00eenchis la culoare, mersul \u00eei este mai pu\u0163in sprinten, dar a r\u0103mas la fel de copil\u0103roas\u0103, imprevizibil\u0103, teribilist\u0103 \u015fi sper s\u0103 nu se schimbe vreodat\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" de Cristina Nemerovschi Mi-a spus c\u0103 o cheam\u0103 Elodia. Era frumoas\u0103, chiar foarte frumoas\u0103, sau cel pu\u0163in lumina orbitoare a dup\u0103-amiezii de august o f\u0103cea s\u0103 par\u0103 astfel. Avea p\u0103rul de lungime medie, blondu\u0163 \u015fi pu\u0163in ondulat \u015fi o mutri\u015foar\u0103 dulce. \u00cen ochi i se citea o triste\u0163e mai degrab\u0103 resemnat\u0103, ce te f\u0103cea s\u0103 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[704,15],"tags":[516,1151,1115],"class_list":["post-6457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-29-30","category-proza","tag-cristina-nemerovschi","tag-egophobia-29-30","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-1G9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6457"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6457\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6541,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6457\/revisions\/6541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nNe-am \u00eemprietenit imediat, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 schimb\u0103m prea multe cuvinte. P\u0103rea c\u0103 \u015ftim destul de multe una despre cealalt\u0103 doar din priviri \u015fi din anumite gesturi. Merg\u00e2nd al\u0103turi pe strad\u0103, \u00eendrept\u00e2ndu-ne c\u0103tre celebrul M\u0103t\u0103sari, pe unde, dup\u0103 toate semnalmentele, \u00ee\u015fi f\u0103cea veacul \u00een ultimul timp, mi-am dat seama c\u0103 nu este o fiin\u0163\u0103 care s\u0103 se ata\u015feze foarte u\u015for de oameni.
\nPrivea oamenii, femeile \u00een special, circumspect\u0103, ca \u015fi cum \u00een trecut ar fi primit lovituri nea\u015fteptate \u015fi imposibil de trecut cu vederea de la acest regn. Am tres\u0103rit la un moment dat, av\u00e2nd impresia c\u0103 urma chiar s\u0103 sar\u0103, aparent din senin, la o pi\u0163ipoanc\u0103 ultrabronzat\u0103 care a\u015ftepta \u00een sta\u0163ia de autobuz \u015fi vorbea agitat\u0103 la mobil. Am calmat-o printr-o simpl\u0103 atingere \u015fi m-a privit cumva recunosc\u0103toare. Poate chiar nu-i pl\u0103ceau scandalurile. \u015ei acum mai cred c\u0103, de fapt, \u00een ad\u00e2ncul fiin\u0163ei ei, era pacifist\u0103.
\nAm vrut s\u0103-i ofer ceva de m\u00e2ncare, uit\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 la starea \u00een care se g\u0103sea \u015fi care nu era deloc de invidiat, dar m-a refuzat cu demnitate. \u201eVreau doar companie”, mi-au \u015foptit ochii ei c\u0103prui, u\u015for umezi.
\nMie \u00eemi era foame \u015fi vroiam neap\u0103rat s\u0103 beau c\u00e2teva beri, a\u015fa c\u0103 am intrat la Cuptorul cu lemne<\/em>. A venit cu mine, bine\u00een\u0163eles. S-a a\u015fezat l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine, privindu-m\u0103 cumva cu drag, cu o familiaritate deconcertant\u0103, \u00een ciuda faptului c\u0103 de-abia m\u0103 cunoscuse. \u00cencepusem s\u0103 m\u0103 simt u\u015for inconfortabil, ochii multora se lipiser\u0103 de masa noastr\u0103, dar sentimentul a trecut dup\u0103 prima bere. Chiar atunci \u00eens\u0103, din bodeg\u0103 a aparut, cu spume la gur\u0103, din cine \u015ftie ce motiv f\u0103r\u0103 leg\u0103tur\u0103 direct\u0103 cu Elodia, patronul, care s-a pornit s\u0103 urle:
\n\u201eCurvo!!! Curv\u0103 ordinar\u0103, mar\u015f afar\u0103!!! Aici \u0163i-ai g\u0103sit s\u0103 cer\u015festi? Nu vezi c\u0103 \u00eemi deranjezi clien\u0163ii? Curv\u0103 \u00eempu\u0163it\u0103, ie\u015fi afar\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 nu te mai v\u0103d pe aici ca \u00ee\u0163i sparg botu\u2019!”
\nS-a ridicat cu aceea\u015fi demnitate \u015fi elegan\u0163\u0103 cu care p\u0103\u015fise al\u0103turi de mine pe strada. M-a privit trist\u0103, d\u00e2ndu-mi \u00eens\u0103 de \u00een\u0163eles c\u0103 m\u0103 va a\u015ftepta p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eemi termin toate berile pe care aveam de g\u00e2nd s\u0103 le beau. \u201eNu te gr\u0103bi, stai lini\u015ftit\u0103, eu oricum nu am altceva mai bun de f\u0103cut dec\u00e2t s\u0103 a\u015ftept”, mi-a spus.
\n\u015ei, \u00eentr-adev\u0103r, m-a a\u015fteptat, sprijinit\u0103 de gardul bodegii. Oamenii intrau \u015fi ie\u015feau, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 o bage \u00een seam\u0103. Preocupa\u0163i exclusiv de ceea ce vor comanda, la ce mas\u0103 se vor a\u015feza, ce garnitur\u0103 vor cere la friptur\u0103 sau ce sos, dulce sau picant, la pizza. Ce vor cere de b\u0103ut. Dac\u0103 vor pl\u0103ti cash sau cu cardul. Oare este cazul s\u0103 ia \u015fi la pachet? S\u0103 stea \u00een\u0103untru sau afar\u0103? Dimpotriv\u0103, cei care p\u0103r\u0103seau bodega nu se mai g\u00e2ndeau la m\u00e2ncare, ci doar la calorii. Oare era mai bine s\u0103 fi cerut pizza light, cu mai pu\u0163in\u0103 \u015func\u0103 \u015fi mozarella? S\u0103 fi renun\u0163at la foccacia pe care au cerut-o la salat\u0103? Oare c\u00e2te calorii fac dou\u0103 beri jumate? \u00cenghe\u0163ata de c\u0103p\u015funi cu topping de ciocolat\u0103 poate fi ars\u0103 de o or\u0103 jumate la aerobic sau mai bine de 40 de minute pe biciclet\u0103? At\u00e2tea dileme, \u00eenc\u00e2t nu mai era niciun mister de ce aveau ni\u015fte fe\u0163e tragice, obosite, chinuite. P\u0103rea un efort considerabil pentru ei s\u0103 ia masa \u00een ora\u015f. Elodia \u00eei privea pe to\u0163i, cu un aproape imperceptibil z\u00e2mbet, dispre\u0163uitor. Sau mai degrab\u0103 superior. Ea n-a avut niciodat\u0103 probleme din astea. Nu a fost niciodat\u0103 gras\u0103. A alergat de nevoie, pentru c\u0103 de multe ori de chestia asta a depins via\u0163a ei. Iar de m\u00e2ncat pe s\u0103turate nu-\u015fi aminte\u015fte s\u0103 o fi f\u0103cut dec\u00e2t o singur\u0103 dat\u0103, c\u00e2nd vecinii ei au \u0163inut nunta \u00een curte \u015fi au invitat-o \u015fi pe ea la mas\u0103. Erau be\u0163i \u015fi au vrut s\u0103-\u015fi bat\u0103 joc de ea, dar de m\u00e2ncat i-au dat pe s\u0103turate. \u00cen definitiv, asta era tot ce conta.
\nDup\u0103 jum\u0103tate de or\u0103 a \u00eenceput s\u0103 dea u\u015foare semne de plictiseal\u0103, plimb\u00e2ndu-se cu pa\u015fi mici \u00een jurul intr\u0103rii \u00een bodeg\u0103.
\n\u00cemi era mil\u0103 de ea. \u015etiam c\u0103 nu prea are sens s\u0103 merg s\u0103 m\u0103 plimb cu ea, \u00een definitiv cu ce a\u015f fi putut-o ajuta, chiar nu \u00eemi d\u0103deam seama cum a\u015f putea s\u0103 \u00eei fac via\u0163a mai frumoas\u0103 sau mai u\u015foar\u0103. Dar s\u0103 m\u0103 plimb al\u0103turi de ea parea s\u0103 fie tot ce \u00ee\u015fi dorea cu disperare. Iar eu oricum nu aveam nimic mai bun de f\u0103cut p\u00e2n\u0103 seara. Am terminat berea \u00een grab\u0103, am pl\u0103tit \u015fi am ie\u015fit.
\nAfar\u0103, supriz\u0103. Elodia disp\u0103ruse! La naiba zic, a plecat cu vreunu’, asta e. Dau s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eendrept spre cas\u0103, c\u00e2nd v\u0103d o chestie repezindu-se spre mine, gata-gata s\u0103 m\u0103 d\u0103r\u00e2me. Era ea. \u00cencepuse s\u0103 m\u0103 pupe, s\u0103 m\u0103 ia \u00een bra\u0163e, s\u0103 fac\u0103 cercuri \u00een jurul meu, de parca ar fi fost o m\u00e2\u0163\u0103.
\nNici p\u00e2n\u0103 ast\u0103zi nu am reu\u015fit s\u0103 aflu ce anume o f\u0103cea s\u0103 cread\u0103 c\u0103 eu o \u00een\u0163eleg, c\u0103 eu sunt o fiin\u0163\u0103 cu care poate comunica \u015fi c\u0103reia \u00eei poate \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u015fi sentimente contrarii, profunde \u015fi spontane. Habar n-am de ce credea c\u0103 doar eu a\u015f fi putut-o salva. Poate sim\u0163ea c\u0103 am fost de multe ori \u00een situa\u0163ii similare, noi dou\u0103, c\u0103 poate c\u00e2ndva, \u00eentr-o via\u0163\u0103 de demult \u2013 credea \u00een reincarnare \u2013 am fost gemene, am dormit \u00een burta aceleia\u015fi mame, universal\u0103, careless bitch. C\u0103 pe urm\u0103 am apucat-o pe drumuri diferite, dar c\u0103 iat\u0103, \u00een final, ne-am reg\u0103sit.
\nMergea lini\u015ftit\u0103, din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd sco\u0163\u00e2nd c\u00e2te un cuv\u00e2nt, c\u00e2te un sc\u00e2ncet sau ceva ce putea fi comparat cu un m\u00e2r\u00e2it. P\u00e2n\u0103 la Ci\u015fmigiu am aflat c\u0103 nu \u00eei plac panourile publicitare amplasate pe str\u0103zi, nu \u00eei plac \u0163iganii – fire\u015fte, cine nu a avut experien\u0163e nepl\u0103cute cu \u0163iganii? Nici m\u0103car nu e musai s\u0103 vietuie\u015fti prin M\u0103t\u0103sari – nu prea \u00eei plac copiii, de\u015fi mi-a dat de \u00een\u0163eles c\u0103 a avut doi, dar c\u0103 i-au fost fura\u0163i pe c\u00e2nd \u00eenc\u0103 mai erau de \u0163\u00e2\u0163\u0103. Se mai g\u00e2nde\u015fte uneori la ei. E trist\u0103, pentru c\u0103 nu-\u015fi mai poate aminti dac\u0103 erau b\u0103ie\u0163ei sau feti\u0163e. \u015etie doar c\u0103 erau brune\u0163i, nu prea sem\u0103nau cu ea. Nu \u015ftie nici cine era tat\u0103l. \u00cencerc s\u0103 o consolez spun\u00e2ndu-i c\u0103 este \u00eenc\u0103 t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 \u015fi mai poate avea copii c\u00e2nd va fi cazul. \u00cemi spune c\u0103 din p\u0103cate nu mai poate. Dup\u0103 na\u015ftere, a f\u0103cut o infec\u0163ie \u015fi i-a fost extirpat uterul.
\nNu \u00eei pl\u0103ceau nici bicicletele, i se p\u0103reau agresive, aproape la fel de mult ca ma\u015finile, pe care le ura de-a dreptul. \u00cemi spune c\u0103 sora ei a murit c\u0103lcat\u0103 de o ma\u015fin\u0103. De dou\u0103 ma\u015fini, de fapt, prima i-a rupt doar picioarele, a doua a c\u0103lcat-o propriu-zis, \u015fi nimeni nu s-a sinchisit s\u0103 o ajute. I se umezesc ochii. Continu\u0103 s\u0103 mearg\u0103. \u00cen fa\u0163\u0103 la Mac, \u00eei propun totu\u015fi s\u0103 \u00eei iau un hamburger. Surprinz\u0103tor, accept\u0103. \u00cei iau un hamburger, mie \u00eemi iau cartofi pr\u0103ji\u0163i \u015fi ne apuc\u0103m \u00een sta\u0163ia de troleibuz s\u0103 m\u00e2nc\u0103m. Ea \u00eenghite hamburgerul pe nemestecate. De data asta, trec\u0103torii se opresc s\u0103 o priveasc\u0103, unii se apuc\u0103 s\u0103 b\u00e2rfeasc\u0103. \u201eCe nem\u00e2ncat\u0103. Vezi s\u0103 nu te \u00eeneci, vagaboanda dracu’!”, spune o bab\u0103. \u00cen zilele bune, a\u015f fi lipit baba de u\u015fa Mac-ului \u015fi i-ar fi s\u0103rit proteza din gur\u0103 fix sub ro\u0163ile troleibuzului. A\u015fa, \u00eei arunc doar o privire sc\u00e2rbit\u0103 \u015fi \u00eei iau Elodiei ambalajul hamburgerului. \u00cel arunc la co\u015f. Elodia m\u0103 prive\u015fte cu aerul de \u201eI could use another one”, dar, din p\u0103cate pentru ea, sunt lefter\u0103.
\nHot\u0103r\u00e2m s\u0103 lu\u0103m 311-le de la Rosetti. Travers\u0103m centrul una l\u00e2nga alta, merg\u00e2nd \u00een acela\u015fi ritm, ca dou\u0103 reprezentante ale unei fr\u0103\u0163ii secrete, cobor\u00e2m \u00een pasaj unde m\u0103 a\u015fteapt\u0103 \u00een timp ce m\u0103 uit la ni\u015fte br\u0103\u0163\u0103ri, lan\u0163uri \u015fi piercing-uri. Str\u00e2mb\u0103 din nas \u00een timp ce trecem pe l\u00e2nga un Fornetti. Ajungem \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit \u00een sta\u0163ie \u015fi a\u015ftept\u0103m ma\u015fina, ocazie cu care \u00eemi explic\u0103 din nou de ce nu prea \u00eei plac copiii. I se par fal\u015fi. Crede c\u0103 sunt un pic cam pro\u015fti, c\u0103 se agit\u0103 prea mult, \u00eentotdeauna dau din m\u00e2ini sau din picioare, \u00ee\u015fi doresc cu orice pre\u0163 s\u0103 atrag\u0103 aten\u0163ia, a p\u0103rin\u0163ilor \u015fi nu numai, iar ea g\u0103se\u015fte asta imoral. \u015ei inestetic, mai ales inestetic. \u00cei spun c\u0103 are dreptate. La r\u00e2ndul lor, copiii se feresc de ea. O privesc cu sc\u00e2rb\u0103, cu superioritate, iar mirosul de prostie r\u0103zbate prin porii mirosind pl\u0103cut, a gel de du\u015f pentru copii cu arom\u0103 de fructe \u015fi a Johnson’s baby. \u00cei promit Elodiei c\u0103, \u00eentr-o zi, vom merge \u00eenarmate \u015fi vom face pr\u0103p\u0103d \u00eentr-o gr\u0103dini\u0163\u0103 cu program prelungit. Vom fi prin\u0163ese r\u0103zboinice \u015fi vom porni cruciada \u00eempotriva prostiei. Ne vom preface c\u0103 suntem kamikaze. Ne vom distra doar, nu vom avea succes \u00een misiunea noastr\u0103, c\u0103ci prostia e oricum un alt nume pentru univers. \u00cei sur\u00e2de ideea.
\n\u00cen troleibuz, dou\u0103 babe cu m\u0103nu\u015fi, umbrelu\u0163\u0103 de soare \u015fi sandale peste dres se pl\u00e2ng c\u0103 Elodia pute. Mie nu mi pare.
\nNe uit\u0103m amandou\u0103 pe geam \u015fi ignor\u0103m privirile cocalarilor \u015fi \u015fu\u015fotelile lor patetice. Suntem obi\u015fnuite s\u0103 fim privite ca ni\u015fte ciud\u0103\u0163enii, de\u015fi din motive diferite. Spune c\u0103 de mult nu a mai c\u0103l\u0103torit at\u00e2t de departe de strada pe care tr\u0103ie\u015fte.
\nCobor\u00e2m la Iancului. Traverseaz\u0103 cu mine spre cas\u0103. Nu pune \u00eentreb\u0103ri, dar privirea ei din ce \u00een ce mai trist\u0103, cu fiecare pas pe care \u00eel face, \u00eemi d\u0103 de \u00eenteles c\u0103 \u015ftie c\u0103 ne vom desp\u0103r\u0163i \u00een c\u00e2teva minute. Ajungem \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit \u00een fa\u0163a blocului. C\u00e2inii \u00eencep s\u0103 o latre, vor s\u0103 o goneasc\u0103. \u00cei iau ap\u0103rarea. Scap\u0103 nemu\u015fcat\u0103. O bab\u0103 iese din bloc:
\n\u201eCe faci, Elodiu\u0163a? Mergi acas\u0103, mam\u0103! E tare cuminte, s\u0103 sti\u0163i”.
\nDa, mi-am dat seama. O s\u0103-mi fie dor de tine, Elodia. Dar nu te pot lua acas\u0103. Mai am un c\u0103\u0163el. E foarte posesiv \u015fi n-ar suporta s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eempart\u0103 cu tine.<\/p>\n