{"id":7008,"date":"2011-05-30T10:10:57","date_gmt":"2011-05-30T08:10:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=7008"},"modified":"2011-07-01T10:28:59","modified_gmt":"2011-07-01T08:28:59","slug":"bath-watch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=7008","title":{"rendered":"Bath watch"},"content":{"rendered":"

de Igor Ursenco<\/a> (Romania)<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

for the English version please click here<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DUP\u0102 CE AU VIZIONAT \u2013 cu bra\u021bele al\u0103turate dar fiecare pentru motive \u0219i pretexte diferite \u2013 unul dintre obi\u0219nuitele episoade tonice ale serialului american, av\u00eendu-i ca protagoni\u0219ti pe remarcabilii Pamela Anderson \u0219i David Hasselhoff \u00een tinere\u021bea lor de stele de cinema \u00een devenire, George \u0219i Maria s-au \u00eendreptat spre patul, amplasat \u00een micul dormitor care mai cumula, din restric\u021bii spa\u021biale, \u0219i func\u021biile sufrageriei.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201dGeo, \u0219tii ce zi e ast\u0103zi?\u201d, \u00eel \u00eentreb\u0103 femeia, \u00een timp ce \u00eencerca s\u0103 \u00eel ajung\u0103 din urm\u0103 pe coridorul \u00eengust.<\/p>\n

\u201dZiua noastr\u0103, drag\u0103?\u201d, \u00eei r\u0103spunse din mers George, f\u0103r\u0103 a-\u0219i \u00eentoarce capul.<\/p>\n

\u201dTe asigur: nu e una obi\u0219nuit\u0103\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dIar eu s\u00eent convins de contariul. Mai neobi\u0219nuit mi se pare c\u0103 nu \u00eemi zici George\u2026 Ca \u00eentodeauna\u201d, c\u00eend a pus acentul pe ultimul cuv\u00eent, b\u0103rbatul a \u00eentors automat capul.<\/p>\n

\u201dNu mai f\u0103 pe prostul, Geo… E cea de-a dou\u0103sprezecea aniversare de la c\u0103s\u0103toria noastr\u0103\u2026 Ai uitat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dCum s\u0103 uit? Dou\u0103sprezece ani de c\u00eend ne \u021binem zilele \u0219i nop\u021bile cu salvamarii de la \u201dBaywatch\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dAi uitat c\u0103 chiar tu ai fixat data nun\u021bii \u00een ziua c\u00eend ai aflat c\u0103 vor transmite serialul?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dDa? \u0218i avem ceva special cu acest\u0103 ocazie?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201dAm preg\u0103tit o \u0219ampanie\u201d, Maria \u00eel apuc\u0103 de locul umflat dintre cracii pantalonilor, \u201diar aici\u2026\u201d, ar\u0103t\u0103 ea la locul de unde trebuiau s\u0103 se reliefeze s\u00eenii ei: \u201d\u2026oare ce avem aici?\u201d. \u0218i fiindc\u0103 George nu se ar\u0103t\u0103 dispus, sau poate nepreg\u0103tit, s\u0103 intre \u00een rol, tot ea continu\u0103 complice:<\/p>\n

\u201d\u2026 dou\u0103 portocale, desigur\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dBine, dar s\u00eenii t\u0103i, Maria\u2026 Cum s\u0103-\u021bi spun \u2026 mai degrab\u0103 ai crede c\u0103 ai pus dou\u0103 prune \u00een locul lor… Dar \u0219i acelea de import…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dDe aia te ui\u021bi tu la altele \u2026 cu ugerele p\u00een\u0103 la p\u0103m\u00eent..\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dLa c\u00e9<\/em> te referi?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201d\u0218tii tu foarte bine la c\u00edne<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dCine, Pamela ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dDa, la stricata de Pamela Anderson, cine alta\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dDoamne-dumnezeule, ce pereche de s\u00eeni poate poseda o femeie\u2026 adev\u0103rat\u0103\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dDar tu, blegule ce e\u0219ti, ai v\u0103zut ce pectorali are David?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dDavid \u0219i mai cum?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201d\u0218tii prea bine c\u0103 nu pot s\u0103-I pronun\u021b numele lui ciudat\u2026 Dar asta nu \u00eemi schimb\u0103 cu nimic atitudinea, George, s\u0103 \u0219tii\u2026\u201d.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

De ciud\u0103, b\u0103rbatul a ie\u0219it s\u0103 fumeze o \u021bigar\u0103 pe balconul de la etajul nou\u0103. C\u00eend erau \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een perioada de c\u0103utare dificil\u0103 a unei chirii pentru familia lor, George a avut de ales \u00eentre un apartament situat la parter \u0219i unul de la etajul nou\u0103, opt\u00eend pentru ultimul: din simplul motiv c\u0103 spera s\u0103 ajung\u0103 \u00een \u201dal nou\u0103lea cer\u201d. Atunci Maria \u0219i-a consumat cele mai romantice clipe din via\u021ba ei conjugal\u0103, dar por\u021bia se dovedise a fi s\u0103rac\u0103 \u00een calorii: cerul din lumea real\u0103 era a\u0219a de l\u0103sat, \u00eenc\u00eet p\u0103rea c\u0103 din miile de stele pictate pe fundalul boltit, cele mai grele au c\u0103zut \u00een ora\u0219.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Acum George, urm\u00eend cu privirea melancolic\u0103 \u00een special de la efectele filmului, calea scrumului de la \u021bigar\u0103, brusc o observ\u0103 pe Maria ie\u0219ind din scara blocului. \u00cen m\u00eena ei mic\u0103 \u0219i ginga\u0219\u0103, so\u021bia lui legiuit\u0103 \u00een fa\u021ba altarului de la mica catedral\u0103 din ora\u0219, ducea unica lor valiz\u0103, albastr\u0103 \u0219i roas\u0103 pe la col\u021buri, pe care o cump\u0103raser\u0103 cu banii r\u0103ma\u0219i de la nunta ce se consuma acum dou\u0103sprezece ani. George a aruncat \u021bigara nefumat\u0103, direct \u00een capul unui locatar care venea gr\u0103bit cu un co\u0219 \u00eenspre scara blocului, \u0219i se \u00eendrept\u0103 spre u\u0219a de la ie\u0219ire. Pe mas\u0103 st\u0103teau ca un monument post-mortm fructele simbolice neatinse \u0219i \u0219ampania rece nedesfundat\u0103. Dar \u00een ochi I se aruncase un bile\u021bel, cu margini neuniforme. Caractere gr\u0103bite \u0219i inegale, dar sugestive pentru mesajul care trebuiau s\u0103 \u00eel acopere: \u201dAdio, Geo. Am plecat la maic\u0103-mea. De data acesta definitiv. Te rog nu m\u0103 mai c\u0103uta. Maria\u201d.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

B\u0103rbatul se sc\u0103rpin\u0103, \u00eeng\u00eendurat, la frunte, pe urm\u0103 la ceaf\u0103. Apoi repet\u0103 acelea\u0219i mi\u0219c\u0103ri: cu v\u00eerful picioarelor. C\u00eend pe o pe pulp\u0103, c\u00eend pe alta. Brusc, i se p\u0103ru c\u0103 a auzit un zgomot repetat, abia imperceptibil, provocat de un jet de ap\u0103. Ut\u00eendu-se nedumerit, George a remarcat c\u0103 acesta provine de la camera de baie, plasat\u0103 la marginea coridorului. Ini\u021bial s-a g\u00eendit s\u0103 o strige pe Maria pe nume. Realiz\u00eend c\u0103 tocmai a v\u0103zut-o dep\u0103rt\u00eendu-se de bloc, a \u00eenjurat sub nas. Pentru c\u0103teva clipe s-a trezit c\u0103 r\u00eede \u00eencet. Apoi, ru\u0219inat de avalan\u0219a de sentimente consumate \u0219i presentimente necunoscute, d\u0103du vina pe neobi\u0219nuin\u021ba sa de a r\u0103m\u00eene singur, f\u0103r\u0103 prezen\u021ba palpabil\u0103 a Mariei.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dar zgomotul din baie deveni insuficient de suportabil pentru a mai c\u0103uta explica\u021bii logice. George se apropie tiptil \u0219i puse urechea la u\u0219\u0103. Apoi se duse la buc\u0103t\u0103rie, de unde reveni mai nehot\u0103r\u00eet dar cu un cu\u021bit de p\u00eene ascuns la spatele g\u00eerbovit.<\/p>\n

Hot\u0103r\u00eet s\u0103 pun\u0103 cap\u0103t enigmei, b\u0103rbatul ap\u0103s\u0103 cu putere clan\u021ba. Dar a\u0219a cum u\u0219a s-a dovedit a fi \u00eentredeschis\u0103, iner\u021bia av\u00eentului l-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 se opreasc\u0103 numai c\u00eend a sim\u021bit o durere acut\u0103 la picior, provocat\u0103 de marginea zgrun\u021buroas\u0103 a c\u0103zii.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nici suferin\u021ba \u00eenmiiit\u0103 a destr\u0103m\u0103rii c\u0103sniciei cu Maria nu putea s\u0103 compenseze \u0219ocul care l-a imobilizat pe b\u0103rbat, pre\u021b de c\u00eeteva minute bune: \u00een cada lor familial\u0103, mic\u0103 \u0219i uzat\u0103 de \u0219irul de chiria\u0219i care s-au perindat de-a lungul anilor, \u00ee\u0219i sp\u0103la s\u00eenii divini, chiar dac\u0103 perfec\u021biona\u021bi periodic de tehnologia chirurgiei plastice, \u00eens\u0103\u0219i actri\u021ba american\u0103 Pamela Anderson \u00een persoan\u0103. \u201dCe te ui\u021bi, blegule?\u201d, \u00eel lu\u0103 aspru diva cinematic\u0103, \u201ds\u00eenii mei \u00ee\u021bi par ni\u0219te fructe exotice?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201dP\u0103i\u2026 Eu credeam c\u0103\u2026\u201d, ascunz\u00eend cu\u021bitul la spate, fanul ei \u00eenfocat \u00eencerc\u0103 s\u0103 se scuze, \u201deu doar vroiam s\u0103\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201d\u2026fii pe pace\u2026 Cum zici c\u0103 te cheam\u0103?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dGeorge\u2026 sau Geo… Cum prefera\u021bi, doamn\u0103\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dNormal, Geo, cum altfel\u2026 Ascult\u0103 Geo, s\u00eent chiar eu, Pamela\u2026 Actri\u021ba Pa-me-la Ander-son!!! \u0218i nu mai sta a\u0219a \u00eencremenit. Ad\u0103 odat\u0103 \u0219ampania ceea\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

George porni automat spre u\u0219a de la ie\u0219ire. Dar Pamela nu \u00eel scap\u0103 din priviri: \u201dunde ai luat-o?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dParc\u0103 mi-ai zis despre \u0219ampanie\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201d\u2026 \u0219ampania cea rece de pe mas\u0103, Geo\u201d.<\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 un gest al m\u00eenii dezgolite care indica, f\u0103r\u0103 niciun echivoc de interpretare admis, chiar la cada plin\u0103 cu spum\u0103, femeia din fa\u021ba lui continu\u0103 cu persuasiune irezistibil\u0103:<\/p>\n

\u201d\u0218i \u00eenc\u0103 ceva, Geo\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

B\u0103rbatul se apropie instinctiv de cad\u0103. F\u0103r\u0103 a spune un cuv\u00eent, Pamela Anderson \u00eei f\u0103cu semn s\u0103-\u0219i aplece partea lateral\u0103 a capului. C\u00eend George \u00ee\u0219i ridic\u0103 melcul \u00eenro\u0219it al urechii, devenite brusc grea ca de font\u0103, \u00eentregul spa\u021biul auditiv, boltit \u0219i cu rezonan\u021b\u0103 de catedral\u0103, se umpluse de inflexiunile vocii ei lascive ca o simfonie celest\u0103:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201d\u2026al\u0103tur\u0103-mi-te c\u00eet apa \u00eenc\u0103 e c\u0103ldu\u021b\u0103!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

de Igor Ursenco (Romania) for the English version please click here   DUP\u0102 CE AU VIZIONAT \u2013 cu bra\u021bele al\u0103turate dar fiecare pentru motive \u0219i pretexte diferite \u2013 unul dintre obi\u0219nuitele episoade tonice ale serialului american, av\u00eendu-i ca protagoni\u0219ti pe remarcabilii Pamela Anderson \u0219i David Hasselhoff \u00een tinere\u021bea lor de stele de cinema \u00een devenire, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[731,393],"tags":[1152,359,54],"class_list":["post-7008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-31","category-prozascurta","tag-egophobia-31","tag-igor-ursenco","tag-proza-scurta"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-1P2","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7008"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7008\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7275,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7008\/revisions\/7275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}