{"id":7369,"date":"2011-08-12T15:40:44","date_gmt":"2011-08-12T13:40:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=7369"},"modified":"2011-08-05T15:49:51","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T13:49:51","slug":"poeme-de-igor-ursenco","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/?p=7369","title":{"rendered":"Poeme de Igor Ursenco"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[din volumul \u00een curs de publicare <em>Monstrul Spaghetelor Zbur\u0103toare<\/em>]<br \/>\n<br \/>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Happy Planet Index <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Cum le adulmeci<br \/>\nde la dep\u0103rtarea sim\u0163urilor<br \/>\natrofiate, te \u015fi pomene\u015fti Cu lucrurile dob\u00eendind<br \/>\no Familiaritate aproape incestuoas\u0103. De parc\u0103<br \/>\nte-ai a\u015feza La mas\u0103 \u00een locul<br \/>\nunde se cuvenea capului<br \/>\nde familie plecat<br \/>\ns\u0103 planteze lujeri<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\n\u00eentre cerurile<br \/>\nsubterane<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nsunt sigur c\u0103 \u015fi anul ce vine<br \/>\ntot danezii,<br \/>\nfinlandezii, norvegienii \u015fi suedezii vor ie\u015f<br \/>\niar\u0103\u015fi Primii \u00een topul \u201eIndicelui<br \/>\nPlaneta Fericit\u0103\u201d, dispu\u015fi<br \/>\ns\u0103 fac\u0103 abstrac\u0163ie<br \/>\ncolectiv\u0103 de frigul cronic ce li s-a Dosit<br \/>\n\u00een oase \u015fi Descenden\u0163a<br \/>\ncomun\u0103 din tragicul<br \/>\niar uneori simpaticul personaj<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nnumit Hamlet<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\npoate din aceast\u0103 cauz\u0103<br \/>\nanul acesta Se va catapulta<br \/>\nsoarele dintr-un culcu\u015f de rezerv\u0103, rat\u00eendu-\u015fi<br \/>\naniversarea genera\u0163ionist\u0103 \u015fi, poate,<br \/>\ncontul gras nobilizat<br \/>\nde Academia Suedez\u0103, a\u015fa cum presupun c\u0103 Ignoran\u0163a<br \/>\numan\u0103<br \/>\ns-ar putea dovedi c\u0103 bate<br \/>\ntoate topurile<br \/>\ndeceselor de obezitate infantil\u0103 \u015fi cancer<br \/>\nmamar la p\u0103pu\u015file<br \/>\nde cear\u0103 gestante. Nu \u015ftiu cum<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nse face c\u0103 \u015fi prostata se umfl\u0103<br \/>\nde la show-rile politice<br \/>\ndifuzate \u00cen pauza dintre<br \/>\nfilmele de Oscar, retransmise<br \/>\ndoar \u00een Anul comemor\u0103rii<br \/>\nstarurilor<br \/>\ndecedate. \u00centre timp<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nai toate \u015fansele<br \/>\ndin lume s\u0103 consta\u0163i c\u0103 trabucul voluminos<br \/>\nal unui oarecare tip georgian<br \/>\ninsignifiant Djuga\u015fvilli a f\u0103cut<br \/>\nmai multe Victime colateral<br \/>\ndec\u00eet milioanele<br \/>\nde asasinate colective<br \/>\nla ordinul dictatorului Iosif<br \/>\nStalin. Nimic mai firesc atunci,<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nla fiecare mas\u0103 servit\u0103<br \/>\ns\u0103 pun Un tac\u00eem \u00een plus de-a dreapta mea<br \/>\npentru Ioana D\u2019Arc \u015fi Sf\u00eenta<br \/>\nKinkizi\u0163ie! Cu ce-a mai r\u0103mas<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\ndin sufletul<br \/>\numezit p\u00een\u0103<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nla cap\u0103tul<br \/>\nimagina\u0163iei nu e de mirare c\u0103 Distan\u0163a<br \/>\nde la mine \u015fi P\u00een\u0103 la<br \/>\nc\u00eet-puteam-fi-de-\u00eemplinit<br \/>\neste direct propor\u0163ional\u0103 Fericirii<br \/>\nsc\u0103pate vederii<br \/>\ncomune: exact ca Dostoievsky<br \/>\n\u00een fa\u0163a plutonului<br \/>\nde execu\u0163ie. \u015ei atunci, din exaltat<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nce-am fost, sunt pe Cale<br \/>\ns\u0103 devin<br \/>\n\u015fi mai Adev\u0103rat!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nu trage\u0163i \u00een lebedele albe!<br \/>\nSchimbarea la fa\u0163\u0103 a Rom\u00e2niei<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nici p\u00een\u0103 azi nu m\u0103 dumiresc unde naiba Platon<br \/>\n\u00ee\u015fi \u0163inea propria umbr\u0103, prin<br \/>\nlucrurile \u015fi umbrele lor<br \/>\n\u00eempr\u0103\u015ftiate meticulos \u00een spa\u0163iul pe\u015fterii<br \/>\nsale filosofice. De fapt \u015ftiu eu un loc magic,<br \/>\nunde lumina zilnic\u0103 sistat\u0103<br \/>\nperiodic \u015fi produsele alimentare eliberate<br \/>\ndoar pe baz\u0103 de cartel\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 s-ar putea<br \/>\n\u00eenghesui oric\u00eend prietene\u015fte ca \u00eentr-o conserv\u0103<br \/>\nde ton, numit\u0103 generic Republica Socialist\u0103<br \/>\nRom\u00e2nia\u201d. \u00cen lipsa<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nproduselor de pe\u015fte<br \/>\nde export, unica surs\u0103 a vitaminei D era de g\u0103sit<br \/>\ndoar \u00een bancurile<br \/>\npolitice nes\u0103rate, singurele subterfugii<br \/>\nplatonice ale rom\u00e2nului sub regimul<br \/>\nodiosului cuplu Ceau\u015fescu. Dar via\u0163a<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nde acvariu comport\u0103 anumite riscuri<br \/>\nneprev\u0103zute: bancurile de rechini sunt<br \/>\nmai pu\u0163in periculoase dec\u00eet depunerile<br \/>\nde s\u0103ruri. Dup\u0103 dou\u0103zeci de ani de regim<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\npolitic e firesc s\u0103 te preg\u0103te\u015fti<br \/>\nde \u00eenceperea altuia.<br \/>\nValutar. Purt\u0103torul de cuv\u00eent al B\u0103ncii<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nCentrale Europene deja \u00ee\u015fi avertizeaz\u0103 membrii<br \/>\ndin zona euro privind m\u0103surile suplimentare<br \/>\nde protec\u0163ie a monedei unice. Astfel,<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nh\u00eertia din care se vor confec\u0163iona noile<br \/>\nbancnote va fi apt\u0103 s\u0103 suporte \u00een plus<br \/>\nun grad sporit de aciditate, menit s\u0103 combat\u0103 la nivel<br \/>\ninterna\u0163ional crima organizat\u0103<br \/>\n\u015fi celulita. \u00cen ceea ce prive\u015fte filigranele<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nde protec\u0163ie, reprezentantul B\u0103ncii<br \/>\nCentrale Europene nu risc\u0103 s\u0103 divulge am\u0103nunte<br \/>\nprivind tip\u0103rirea lor separat\u0103, pe utopii<br \/>\ntulburi precum b\u0103l\u0163ile<br \/>\ndin vechile parcuri cu luminare<br \/>\nartificial\u0103. Dac\u0103 printre lebedele<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nnegre din Ci\u015fmigiu i-a\u015f \u00eent\u00eelni acum<br \/>\npe dictatorii Elena \u015fi Nicolae, sunt convins<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nc\u0103 a\u015f putea vedea<br \/>\nprin ei<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nmai departe dec\u00eet prin c\u0103tarea<br \/>\ndeja reglat\u0103 de balistica<br \/>\nplutonului de execu\u0163ie<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Barack bin Laden<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Treci printre oameni la fel cum industria german\u0103<br \/>\nde automobile trece printr-o adev\u0103rat\u0103 dram\u0103 existen\u0163ial\u0103. Nu-i vorb\u0103, mercedesurile<br \/>\n\u015fi-au l\u0103sat demult concuren\u0163ii<br \/>\ncu ochii \u00een soare. Acum unica emula\u0163ie<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nmai poate veni doar de la industria domestic\u0103<br \/>\nde filosofie, spre ne\u015fansa<br \/>\ntabloidul \u201eNews of the World&#8221; care nu mai poate<br \/>\nnega la nesf\u00eer\u015fit existen\u0163a<br \/>\nextra-tere\u015ftrilor. Astfel, bie\u0163ii cosmonau\u0163i<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nsovietici \u015fi astronau\u0163i americani sunt nevoi\u0163i s\u0103 renun\u0163e<br \/>\nla inchizi\u0163ia Galacticii, \u00een favoarea<br \/>\nunui proiect comun de exploatare<br \/>\na defileului de acces din Pakistan<br \/>\nspre Afganistan. Editoriali\u015ftii trustului de pres\u0103<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nal magnatului Murdoch ofer\u0103 contra cost celor curio\u015fi<br \/>\nrezultatele de insider stocate de cel mai mare<br \/>\ntelescop de\u0163inut de NASA, cu imaginea<br \/>\nclar\u0103 a SupraOmului<br \/>\nnietzschean cum asfalteaz\u0103<br \/>\ncu instrumente rudimentare depresiunile<br \/>\nselenare \u015fi mun\u0163ii ple\u015fuvi de pe Marte.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Metastaz\u0103<br \/>\n[Cina cea de Tain\u0103 a Spaghetelor]<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>S\u0103 nu ne uit\u0103m pe cei care s-au r\u0103stignit pentru noi, Preaiubi\u0163ilor, disemin\u00eendu-ne credin\u0163a special\u0103<br \/>\n\u00een toat\u0103 lumea! Calitatea mea de Monstru oficial<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nal Spaghetelor Zbur\u0103toare nu-mi permite<br \/>\ns\u0103 v\u0103 reamintesc aici \u00eentreaga istorie deja \u00eencheiat\u0103<br \/>\na ginului \u00eenghi\u0163it<br \/>\ndin lamp\u0103 odat\u0103 cu ultimul strop<br \/>\nde revolu\u0163ie. Dar v\u0103 zic serios<br \/>\nvou\u0103: trebuie s\u0103 ne intereseze<br \/>\nproletariatul at\u00eeta timp c\u00eet nu cunoa\u015fte<br \/>\nintegral Istoria Spaghetelor Ateiste. Trebuie<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\ns\u0103 \u015fti\u0163i, dragii mei, Divinitatea<br \/>\nlucreaz\u0103 \u00een permanen\u0163\u0103<br \/>\ncu lucrurile umile \u015fi cu ceea ce n-au reu\u015fit<br \/>\n\u00een r\u0103zboaiele lor strategice Bonaparte<br \/>\n&#038; Hitler. M\u0103 ve\u0163i \u00eentreba, care e deosebirea<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\ndintre proletariat \u015fi firavul Gogol s\u0103 zicem?<br \/>\nV\u0103 descoper c\u0103 b\u0103rbatul acesta minion are<br \/>\nsuficient\u0103 for\u0163\u0103 c\u00eet s\u0103 trag\u0103 \u00eentreaga Moskov\u0103<br \/>\nde lemn sub el, f\u0103r\u0103 a se l\u0103uda<br \/>\nc\u0103 a dus primul \u00een Rusia spaghetele \u00eenvelite<br \/>\n\u00een cursul de latin\u0103 original\u0103<br \/>\ndin Italia. Dar \u015fti\u0163i voi, Iubi\u0163ilor, c\u0103 dac\u0103 nu facem planul<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nde consum de spagheti, Apokalipsa mijlocie<br \/>\nar putea veni mai devreme<br \/>\nveacul acesta pe care nici<br \/>\nm\u0103car Nicolai Vasilievici nu l-a anticipat<br \/>\nprintre sufletele<br \/>\nsale moarte. V\u0103 pute\u0163i g\u00eendi c\u0103 singur\u0103<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nmusta\u0163a lui Gogol ar putea<br \/>\nprovoca<br \/>\no inunda\u0163ie ireversibil\u0103<br \/>\nla Vene\u0163ia, f\u0103r\u0103 nicio vin\u0103 a studiilor<br \/>\nsale de metafizic\u0103 slav\u0103 \u00eentrerupte<br \/>\nla Vatican? Deocamdat\u0103 gondolele<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\ncu asperit\u0103\u0163ile netezite de turi\u015fti sunt ocupate<br \/>\ntot mai mult de Romeo &#038;<br \/>\nJuliete care nu \u015ftiu de pericolul <em>\u201elucina<br \/>\nsine concubita\u201d<\/em>, cum ar zice latinul<br \/>\n\u015fmecher, \u201e\u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103<br \/>\nf\u0103r\u0103 contact sexual\u201d. Dar nu v\u0103 fie fric\u0103: vom sponsoriza<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nsperan\u0163a integral<br \/>\nprin dona\u0163iile primite<br \/>\npe adresa Bisericii \u201eMonstrului<br \/>\nSpaghetelor Zbur\u0103toare\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Pa\u015fal\u00eecul Rom\u00e2nia<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Cu spasmele \u015fi soarta<br \/>\nre\u00eenc\u0103lzite \u00een oalele zilei de ieri te a\u015fteapt\u0103<br \/>\nora\u015ful-\u00een-care-nu-ai-mai-fost \u015fi nu<br \/>\nvei fi murit<br \/>\nvreodat\u0103 cu g\u00eendul la r\u0103d\u0103cinile. A\u015fa cum se \u00eent\u00eempl\u0103<br \/>\ncu to\u0163i cei care \u00eenving<br \/>\nlegea gravita\u0163iei doar \u0163in\u00eendu-se<br \/>\nde nas. Dintre to\u0163i<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\ncuceritorii lumii, turcii<br \/>\nau fost cei mai sensibili<br \/>\nla nurii Colentinelor. Te strecori prin bulevardele<br \/>\ncapitalei ce duc previzibil<br \/>\nspre gurile de canalizare<br \/>\n\u015fi cele de metrou, dar<br \/>\nsf\u00eer\u015fe\u015fti<br \/>\ninvariabil ajung\u00eend<br \/>\n\u00een Pia\u0163a Matache. La final<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nde s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 acolo intr\u0103 gr\u0103bi\u0163i doar b\u0103tr\u00eenii<br \/>\ncu bani \u015fi tinerii<br \/>\ncu speran\u0163e, f\u0103r\u0103 ca niciunii<br \/>\ns\u0103 observe cum prin ei trece ritualic<br \/>\naceea\u015fi femeie<br \/>\ncu coasa. Rom\u00e2nii<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nveni\u0163i cu trenul din Nordul \u0163\u0103rii ies<br \/>\ndin vagoane ra\u015fi la fa\u0163\u0103<br \/>\nde ceasul mor\u0163ii, \u00eenaint\u00eend<br \/>\nprin corpul<br \/>\nrom\u00e2nilor din Sud odat\u0103 cu m\u00eelul<br \/>\n\u00eentineritor al Techirgiolului. La asfin\u0163it<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nBulevardul Averescu e tot<br \/>\nnumai o Delt\u0103<br \/>\npatriotic\u0103 cu pesc\u0103ru\u015fi, cormorani \u015fi pe\u015fti<br \/>\nla fiecare col\u0163 al s\u0103u<br \/>\ncare d\u0103 \u00een str\u0103zile dosite. Sta\u0163ia terminus<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\ncoincide cu Cimitirul<br \/>\nvesel din S\u0103p\u00een\u0163a sau \u00een capitala<br \/>\ncea mai apropiat\u0103<br \/>\nde frecven\u0163a aka\u015fa. C\u00eend ie\u015fi<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\npe peron, te pomene\u015fti singur<br \/>\ncuc pe o insul\u0103 izolat\u0103<br \/>\nde democra\u0163ia<br \/>\nvecinilor de la frontir\u0103, dar nu te la\u015fi<br \/>\np\u00een\u0103 nu g\u0103se\u015fti pe cineva suficent<br \/>\nde speriat c\u00eet s\u0103-l botezi<br \/>\ncu una din zilele<br \/>\ns\u0103pt\u0103m\u00eenii. Acum po\u0163i<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\ns\u0103 \u0163ii mai departe jurnalul<br \/>\nde unde Robinson Crusoe intrase<br \/>\nireversibil \u00een panic\u0103<br \/>\nsever\u0103. \u015ei cum semaforul<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nclipe\u015fte ro\u015fu<br \/>\n\u00een ochii tuturor, treci de cercurile<br \/>\nAfuma\u0163ilor mai repede ca Ulisse, cu toate dovezile<br \/>\neviden\u0163ei materiale<br \/>\nale  cormoranilor \u015fi pe\u015ftilor<br \/>\nde la cap\u0103tul str\u0103zii. E suficient doar<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\npentru o clip\u0103<br \/>\ns\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i aminte\u015fti descenden\u0163a<br \/>\nta dacic\u0103, c\u0103 spahiile v\u0103d zorii<br \/>\ncu capetele<br \/>\n\u00eenfipte \u00een l\u0103ncile distribuite egal<br \/>\npe ambele sensuri<br \/>\nale autostr\u0103zii soarelui<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[din volumul \u00een curs de publicare Monstrul Spaghetelor Zbur\u0103toare] &nbsp; Happy Planet Index &nbsp; Cum le adulmeci de la dep\u0103rtarea sim\u0163urilor atrofiate, te \u015fi pomene\u015fti Cu lucrurile dob\u00eendind o Familiaritate aproape incestuoas\u0103. De parc\u0103 te-ai a\u015feza La mas\u0103 \u00een locul unde se cuvenea capului de familie plecat s\u0103 planteze lujeri &nbsp; \u00eentre cerurile subterane &nbsp; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[739,125],"tags":[1153,359,1129,1114],"class_list":["post-7369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-egophobia-32","category-invitat","tag-egophobia-32","tag-igor-ursenco","tag-invitat","tag-poezie"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DakB-1UR","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7369"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7369\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7375,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7369\/revisions\/7375"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}