by Douglas Young
“The UFOs are back!” Hampton exclaimed as soon as Helayna answered his call. “WDUN’s reporting a whole heap of ’em were just seen flying over the north end of Sam Benton County around Pitts Peak. We’re hearing a slew of sirens, and Macon just called to say a bunch of cop cars just flew by his house with their lights flashing and all heading north.”
“Oh my gosh,” Helayna replied, putting her hand to her mouth. “That’s where they were last night.”
“That’s right,” Hampton agreed. “Ervin and Macon are already en route to Pitts Peak, and I’m getting in the car to head there myself. Wanna’ come? You’re right on the way. I’ll call and tell ’em to meet us at your place.”
“Oh, I’d really love to, but I don’t know if my parents’ll let me out this late, and all of a sudden. It’s already eleven o’clock.”
“Well, as excited as you were talking about UFOs in psychology class this morning, at least try. Since I’m cranking up the car, you’ve got about fifteen minutes to persuade your folks before I get there.”
“Okay. I’ll do my best,” Helayna agreed.
She jumped from the bed to her closet to figure out what to wear. After trying on a couple of shirt-and-pants combinations, she settled on her third choice before combing her hair and quickly applying some makeup. She then raced downstairs to the den where her parents sat. Her mother was knitting while sporadically tuning in to a TV program, and her father was reading the local newspaper.
“Hey, have y’all heard? The UFOs are back!” a somewhat breathless Helayna announced. “The radio says a whole mess of ’em are now at the north end of the county.”
“What are you so dressed up for, darling?” her mother inquired.
“Hampton’s coming to pick me up to go to Pitts Peak so we can see what’s happening.”
“Says who?” her father asked, still holding the newspaper.
“Please, Daddy. This is only the biggest thing ever to happen in these parts. Everybody was talking about last night’s UFO reports at school today – including the teachers. Mrs. Nunnally even let us spend half of psychology class discussing it.”
“Well, that’s sure the right class for it, all right,” her father retorted.
“Come on, Daddy. Even Sheriff Cumming was a witness.”
“Yeah, well, Alfred Cumming didn’t get my vote,” he noted while turning the page.
“Momma,” she implored, “please let me go. Everybody’s already on the way there.”
“All the more reason to avoid the roads,” her father declared. “So many young folks racing to Pitts Peak sounds like a perfect storm for an accident – and we’re supposed to get a thunder storm any minute now.”
Sighing and putting her hands on her hips, Helayna looked plaintively at her mother.
“Who all’s going, honey?” her mother asked gently.
“Oh, just everybody. Hampton, Ervin, and Macon are driving here now.”
“Well, now they are all nice boys, sure enough,” her mother said to her husband.
He lowered the newspaper to look at his wife before checking his watch and turning to his daughter.
“It’s already after eleven,” he remarked.
“But it’s not a school night,” Helayna implored. “And it’s Friday. So we don’t even have to get up for Sunday school tomorrow.”
“All the more reason way too many kids’ll be on the road,” he retorted.
“Duh, Daddy. It’s a Friday night. So most everyone’s out anyway,” she pronounced. “Dwight’s at the movies right now with Melea. Lord only knows when he’ll get home. You don’t have a problem with that.”
“He’s an eighteen-year-old senior too. You’re a sixteen-year-old sophomore,” her father noted.
“I think it’s just because he’s a guy.” Helayna frowned.
“All right, since you brought up the sexes,” her father replied, dropping the paper in his lap, “are there any other gals going in this here group of yours?”
Helayna paused, blinked, and looked at the floor. Her father raised the paper again.
“Well, not that I know of,” his daughter finally admitted, “but I can call Nela to see if she’ll join us. Y’all like her. Momma, you’ve even said she’s like a big sister to me.”
“Now, honey,” her mother spoke up, “are you sure her parents would let her out this late, and on a stormy night too?”
“She’s living with her boyfriend now.”
“What?” Her mother asked as Helayna’s father lowered the newspaper with raised eyebrows.
“Well, she’s eighteen and about to graduate,” Helayna offered. “She’s not the only nice girl I know living with a boy.”
“Hmpf.” Her father shook his head and raised the paper.
“I know several nice girls living with their boyfriends,” his daughter declared defiantly. “Maybe if Momma was eighteen today, she would too.”
“Your mother would have never lived with some man!” her father shot back as he threw the newspaper to the floor.
“Oh, yeah? Well, what’s she been doing the last twenty-five years?” Helayna asked as her mother quickly looked away with a grin. “And I don’t see y’all in separate bedrooms neither.”
As her father raised his index finger and started to reply, the doorbell rang and the sixteen-year-old ran to the front door. After stifling a smile, her mother leaned toward her husband, paused, and spoke.
“Dear, now Hampton, Ervin, and Macon are all real fine boys. We know each of them, and Ervin and Macon are even in Helayna’s Sunday school class. This UFO thing is mighty exciting for the young folks, and who knows if this’ll ever happen here again. If Helayna misses this, she’s liable to regret it for the rest of her life and always hold it against us too.”
“Well, I want a little chat with these boys,” he said before turning toward the front door and calling in a loud voice, “Helayna, y’all come in here, you hear?”
Hampton, Macon, and Ervin were led into the den by a beaming Helayna who looked back and forth between them and her parents. Her mother put down her knitting and greeted each boy warmly as her father stood to shake hands with them.
“Well, boys,” he began, “I hear y’all are bound for Pitts Peak in search of the little green aliens.”
“Daddy, please,” his daughter pleaded as he waved her to be quiet amidst the boys’ chuckles.
“Now I understand y’all wanting to be part of something like this, but safety is paramount – always. So there’s no need for anybody to try to outrun any space vehicles.”
“No sir.” The boys agreed and laughed while Helayna looked at the ceiling and shook her head.
“Now who’ll be driving Helayna?” her father inquired, prompting her daughter’s eyes and mouth to widen and her face to light up. The boys looked at each other as Helayna pointedly leaned toward Hampton.
“Ah, I guess I will,” Hampton declared and Helayna’s smile grew wider.
“Well, Hampton.” Her father put his finger to the boy’s chest as his daughter put her hands over her eyes and sighed loudly. “You’ll have some mighty valuable cargo in your car, and I’m holding you personally responsible for her safety – and I expect her home by one at the latest.”
“Yes, sir,” Hampton said in a serious tone before swallowing. Helayna’s father extended his hand again and Hampton quickly shook it.
“Come on, Daddy. Who knows how long the UFOs’ll be out. I kinda’ doubt they’ve got a curfew,” Helayna cried.
“And I don’t reckon much good’s gon’ happen after one in the morning,” her father declared. “Now y’all have fun, be safe, and just be sure this little lady is back by one. And, remember, we know all your parents.”
“I’m so embarrassed,” Helayna stated as the boys grinned.
“I think somebody should be mighty grateful her father is letting her out this late and ought to show some appreciation,” her mother responded in a louder tone as her daughter rolled her eyes.
“Thank you, Daddy,” Helayna said before kissing each parent. The boys thanked them as well while saying their goodbyes. Before they reached the front door, Helayna’s mother spoke up.
“And Macon and Ervin, we’ll look for you in church Sunday.”
“Yes, ma’am,” they answered.
“And Hampton, we’d be right proud for you to join us too,” she added.
“Thank you, ma’am.” Hampton replied.
“Bye,” Helayna said loudly as she quickly ushered the boys out the door.”
Hampton held open his car’s front passenger door for Helayna who grinned a little as she sat inside. Ervin and Macon got in the other car behind them and Hampton then led the two-car caravan toward Pitts Peak. Helayna noticed he would not go above the speed limit.
“I’m really glad your folks let you come along,” Hampton said smiling at her.
“Yeah, me too. Sorry Daddy’s so old-fashioned and strict.”
“That’s all right.” Hampton chuckled. “My parents wouldn’t let Sonita go, and she’s seventeen.”
“Aw. What a Debby downer of a Franny frowner,” Helayna noted with a comical pout.
“How about checking the radio for any UFO reports?” Hampton asked.
Helayna immediately scanned the car radio dial but found no station broadcasting such news and left it tuned to the local National Public Radio station at the end of the dial.
“Ah, NPR – National Pretentious Radio,” Hampton stated, prompting a giggle from his passenger.
“A lot of teachers sure swear by it,” Helayna said looking at him with an expectant smile.
“The prosecution rests,” came the driver’s reply, eliciting a full laugh and a clap from Helayna.
The traffic was extra heavy and mostly going toward Pitts Peak. Hampton and Helayna waved at classmates in other cars, and Hampton periodically scanned the dark, cloudy sky before stopping at a redlight.
“Well, look who’s right beside us,” Helayna exclaimed before smiling at Hampton and pointing to the car sitting in the next lane. “Lo and behold, it’s Zen, and it sure looks like she and Dotsie Phillips are heading toward Pitts Peak too. Ol’ Zennie sure pooh-poohed the very idea of UFOs this morning, even saying they’re impossible ‘’cause they’re nowhere in the Bible.’ And, as usual, she’s gotta be louder about it than anybody else and thinks if she just keeps repeating herself that folks’ll believe her.”
“That’s Zenovia Springs, all right. She’s a bona fide double L, double E: loud, long, emotional, and empty. And maybe the biggest UFO skeptic in the whole school — at least, publicly.” Hampton winked and laughed as he slapped the steering wheel. “Roll down the window.”
A grinning Helayna did so and waved at the other driver. When Zenovia did not notice, Hampton blew the horn, eliciting a startled look from Miss Springs as Helayna motioned for her to roll down her window.
Turning to her passenger before doing so, Zenovia gave Hampton and Helayna a tepid smile.
“Heading to check out the UFOs at Pitts Peak, Zen?” a smiling Hampton shouted.
“Hey, if you’re lucky, maybe they’ll give you a ride,” a beaming Helayna added.
“Ha, ha,” came the bored reply from Zenovia. “I’m only going so I can report the whole thing was just another big, fat nothing burger.”
“Better watch out, Zen,” Hampton warned. “If these space aliens can travel here all the way from another solar system, they can easily hear who’s bad-mouthing ’em.” Helayna laughed loudly.
“Oh, sure,” Miss Springs responded. “Maybe they’ll take you with ’em for comic relief.”
“I’d love to be abducted,” Hampton retorted.
“Me too,” Helayna agreed.
“I bet,” Zenovia replied as she rolled up her window, the light turned green, and both cars advanced.
Checking the rearview mirror to confirm Ervin and Macon were still behind them, Hampton concluded, “Zen’ll never own up to it, but I reckon she’s every bit as curious about UFOs as the rest of us.”
“Of course she is,” Helayna agreed. “Poor thing. I ’spect a big part of the problem is that church her family attends, a real holy roller affair. Remember how in psychology class today she quoted her pastor, ‘the Rev. Bernard Turnbull,’ saying how ‘un-biblical’ UFOs are?”
Hampton smiled and nodded. As rain began to fall, he turned on the windshield wipers and drove a little slower, leaning forward whenever the sky lit up with lightning.
“Well, I visited her church — once,” Helayna continued, “and had to suffer through that preacher railing on and on about how women ain’t got no place in the pulpit, as deacons, or even Sunday school teachers. Yeah, well, fellow, your church sure ain’t got no place for me. So much for the Rev. Anal Retentive. I don’t pay him no speck of mind.”
“Well,” Hampton noted, “if that’s what folks at that church want, they should have the freedom to be that way. It’s their church.”
“Sure ain’t mine,” Helayna declared as Hampton chuckled.
Each time the sky lit up, both eagerly looked up only to relax when lightning was revealed, confirmed by thunder. Helayna spent more time looking at Hampton. As they got near the base of Pitts Peak, traffic slowed considerably since almost all the drivers sought to turn onto the narrow two-lane road to the top.
Helayna started to speak when an extremely bright light, much closer than lightning, shot over them, zooming silently straight across the sky in a flash, with no thunder in its wake. Helayna gasped and Hampton hit the brakes.
“Woah! That wasn’t like any lightning I’ve ever seen,” Hampton pronounced.
“No way,” Helayna said softly. “Gosh, I’m starting to get kinda’ scared.”
“This is thrilling,” Hampton gushed, looking at her with an expression of joy. “We just saw ourselves a genuine UFO! Isn’t this incredible? Woo-hoo!” He honked the horn a few times, inspiring the same from other drivers, including Ervin. “And there’s nothing to be afraid of, Helayna. No UFO ever hurt anybody. And look around. We sure got plenty of company. Heck, likely most of the sheriff’s department is exactly where we’re headed. Besides, as the Good Book says, ‘Fear not.’”
“Okay. But if it comes down to a fight between Sheriff Cumming’s boys and the aliens, I know who my money’s on.”
“Ain’t you forgetting somebody? I’ll protect you,” Hampton smiled at her. “Lord, I better, or your daddy’s liable to shoot me,” he added, prompting her to laugh. As they finally began the drive up to the top of Pitts Peak, Helayna smiled at him.
At the crest of the big hill, many cars were already parked near the edge of the county’s highest point for the best view of the sky above a wide expanse of farmland. Hampton got the last space directly overlooking the valley below, and Ervin and Macon parked in the row behind them. When Hampton turned off the ignition, the rain had receded to a drizzle. Since he and Helayna forgot an umbrella, they rolled their windows down halfway to relish the cool early May night air while they eagerly surveyed the sky. A breeze enveloped them with the sweet scent of the thick, bright yellow Confederate jasmine bushes in front of them.
Many new arrivals walked to the railing by the hilltop’s edge where the most devoted stargazers had weathered the storm under their umbrellas. Before long, Hampton and Helayna decided it was worth getting a little wet for a better view of a UFO and began to exit the car. But big drops began to rain down again. So they got back inside and rolled up the windows. Soon the rain was assaulting the car in sheets as lightning strikes danced ever closer, electrifying the clouds and setting off ever louder booms of thunder. Helayna rubbed her hands and felt a little chilly.
When she was about to say something, an almost blindingly white light streaked just above them, lit up their entire view, and disappeared. Both of them jumped, but neither leaned forward this time. A few seconds later, lightning could be seen much closer before an almost deafening roar appeared to shake the car, causing both of them to jump even more and a couple of cars’ theft alarms to blare.
A trembling Helayna hugged Hampton. He cradled her in his arms and stroked her hair.
“It … It’s only thunder. It’s just thunder,” Hampton repeated as he continued petting her head.
Nothing was said as the car alarms kept honking until their owners raced back to turn them off at last. Despite Hampton’s assurances, Helayna could feel him shaking a little himself, and he could not recall when she had ever been silent for so long.
“That … That wasn’t thunder … or lightning that flew right over us and lit up the whole sky,” she finally remarked in a low tone.
“No ma’am, indeed,” he agreed. “This is so awesome. I never dreamed we’d get this close to a UFO, and two in one night. We absolutely came to the right place.”
“I’m scared, Hampton. I kinda’ wanna’ go home.”
“It’s not even midnight. You don’t have to be home ’til one. Don’t worry. I’m gon’ get you back in time. And you’re not putting me out ’cause I can just come right back to meet up with Ervin and Macon again—”
“I don’t want you coming back, Hampton. Not tonight anyway. This is really scary.”
“Helayna, this is a once-in-a-lifetime amazing experience. Can you honestly say you wish we hadn’t come here tonight? Man, you gon’ thrill your children and grandchildren telling ’em about this. And there’s nothing to worry about. Look. We’re fine. So is everybody else. Just think how incredibly blessed we are to be part of this. I’m so glad you could come.” He squeezed her gently.
When he no longer felt her shaking, he stopped massaging her head but still held her while Helayna’s arms remained tightly wound about his waist with her head buried in his chest. Her legs were wrapped around his right leg and nothing was said. Soon the rain slacked off again, the flashes of lightning became much less frequent and more distant, and the thunder grew duller as it echoed from ever farther away. Helayna lifted her head to peak above the windshield and began to turn to Hampton when the phone in his shirt pocket rang loudly, causing both of them to jump and then laugh.
“You can’t deny you jumped too,” she declared pointing at him.
“Okay, but it’s our secret. Especially don’t tell your dad. It’s Ervin. I’ll put him on speaker. ‘Hey, bud. Y’all okay? No aliens take you away?’”
“Tragically, no,” Ervin answered. “Y’all all right? You know, that was almost kinda’ scary.”
“Almost?” Helayna asked loudly, eliciting laughter.
“Yeah, Helayna got a little spooked, but I calmed her down,” Hampton got out before laughing.
“Ervin, y’all shoulda’ seen Hampton jump at that thunder,” Helayna nearly shouted before lightly slapping his chest as he and Ervin laughed. “He even jumped when the phone rang.”
“We’d tease you, man, but we jumped too,” Ervin confided. “I ’spect everybody did.”
“I’m just so grateful Sheriff Cumming’s boys were here to protect us all,” Hampton declared, prompting guffaws.
“It’s just about stopped raining,” Ervin noted. “So Macon and I are going out to the edge. Wanna’ join us?”
Hampton was about to say “Sure,” but noticed Helayna looking at him with big eyes, raised eyebrows, and no smile. Hesitating, and feeling like he could not look away from her, he finally answered.
“Okay. Well, we may join you in a while…. Maybe when it’s completely stopped raining…. I guess we’ll see.”
“All right then. Later,” Ervin replied and hung up.
Hampton thought he detected the slightest trace of a smile as Helayna blinked and sat back in the seat, but remained leaning on him. When he put the phone back in his shirt pocket, she took his right hand in both of hers. Soon he lifted it to drape his arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head against his neck and he rested his head on top of hers. Soon all the rain, lightning, and thunder faded away completely and Hampton lowered both front windows. The only sound was soft chatter from a couple dozen folks standing forty yards away at the railing. Not long after midnight, most cars were driven away and only crickets could be heard. Another breeze carried the aroma of Confederate jasmine, chased by fragrant traces of gardenias. Hampton no longer methodically searched the sky but stared lazily straight ahead. Helayna had never looked at a dashboard so long, but paid no attention to it. Soon almost all the cars had left, and only about ten people remained at the railing, half of them sheriff’s deputies now smoking and laughing. Hampton lifted his head and Helayna followed suit.
“Looks like the show’s over,” he observed.
She stared into his eyes with a smile he had not seen and he realized she was not going to say anything. As soon as he began to lean toward her, she met him halfway and they embraced in an open-mouthed kiss. Now neither heard anything but the sticky sounds of lips and saliva. Helayna no longer felt the slightest bit chilly as each breathed heavier. Hampton massaged her back as her fingers felt his head and ran through his hair. After many minutes, they finally opened their mouths for air. Helayna raised her eyes to his and chuckled.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she whispered, shaking her head.
“And to think I thought UFOs were exciting,” he remarked, prompting her to laugh. He pulled her to him to resume their kiss, now letting his fingers explore her hair as she put her arms around his neck. He leaned her down onto the seat and intertwined his fingers in both of hers while she kicked off her flip-flops and wrapped her legs around him. She started to moan when his tongue veered from her mouth to lick her chin and neck. She eagerly rubbed and squeezed his back as he kissed all over her neck. Looking out the window, Helayna was awed by the moonlight suddenly piercing the clouds as a fresh breeze showered them with a stronger scent of gardenias. She felt the sensation of being in a dream, enhanced by being able to direct it.
“I guess if I gave you a hickey, your daddy’d kill me, sure enough,” he remarked, prompting a loud laugh from Helayna.
“I bet Momma’d come to our rescue. I can just hear her telling him, ‘Now, dear, you know how teenagers are. We were once that age too.’ Plus, news flash, Mr. Hampton: makeup can cover up all kinds of things.”
“Still, I’d rather not risk it,” he replied, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her mouth again as she embraced him eagerly. After several minutes of their tongues gently bathing each other, Hampton opened his eyes to see Helayna’s shut tight and quickly closed his again. When he finally lifted his head and took a deep breath, she giggled and nuzzled his nose. He rested his check on hers as they played with each other’s hands. Neither felt a need to talk. The sound of crickets got louder, and Helayna put her arms around his back while slowly moving her feet up and down his legs. He enjoyed playing with her hair before wrapping his arms around her. Lying cheek to cheek, each felt the other’s heartbeat. Only a timeless present seemed to exist as each felt an overwhelming excitement tamed by a hypnotic veil of relaxation. When Hampton itched his forehead, he noticed his watch and gasped.
“What?” Helayna asked.
“It’s 12:48! We’ve got just twelve minutes to get you home. I’m gonna’ have to almost floor it to get you back in time.”
“Don’t panic. Daddy’ll survive. Chill out, Hampton.”
He quickly rose to turn on the ignition and headlights.
“Aagh!” Helayna sat up against the door with her feet on the seat, arms crossed, and staring at him wide-eyed with her mouth open.
“I’m sorry, Helayna, but I really don’t want to get either of us in trouble,” he declared backing the car out of the parking space and rapidly heading to the exit.
“I can’t believe you,” she exclaimed and kicked his side.
“Ow! What was that for?” He looked at her surprised but relieved to detect the faint outline of a smile.
“You seriously don’t think you could take my old man?” She bit her lip to hide a laugh.
He veered onto the highway and sped up considerably. Now scanning the road for police cars, he looked at his watch again and pushed the gas pedal harder.
“I really think Daddy’d rather have me back in one piece and a little late,” she noted dryly.
“I’m sorry, Helayna. But I don’t want to get you in any trouble … and I’d really love to see you again and for your daddy to let me.”
She moved over to him to put her arms around his chest and press her cheek against his shoulder.
“I want to see you again too,” she declared and kissed his cheek, causing him to smile again and sigh deeply. She giggled and sat against the seat with her hand on his thigh. Soon he slowed down to take her left hand in his right and she leaned her head on his shoulder again.
“I think we’ve got enough time now.” He smiled and met her gaze. Turning back to look at the road, he felt not the slightest unease that she continued looking at him with an unbroken smile. Neither spoke the rest of the way home.
After they drove up the driveway and parked in front of her house, Hampton pointed to his watch and beamed.
“Got you back with three minutes to spare – woo-hoo,” he bragged and then extended his cheek for her to kiss.
“You think you’re getting any sugar for breaking up such a romantic evening under the moonlight – and UFOs – to risk my life flying back home like a bat out of Pitts Peak? Fellow, you got another thing coming.” She chuckled.
At his crestfallen expression, Helayna could not help laughing. “Okay, big boy. I’ll do you even better.” She gave him a full embrace and a deep kiss. When she caught him sneaking a glance at his watch, she slapped his arm.
“Such a big scaredy cat,” she remarked shaking her head. “Okay. I guess I better run inside real fast so I don’t turn into a big fat pumpkin at the stroke of one, huh? Such a serious, silly boy. But I reckon you’re a keeper.” She put her index finger to the tip of his nose and then tickled his belly button, prompting him to squirm and grin.
“I can’t believe I got to make out with the gorgeous Miss Helayna,” he stated.
“Aw, come here.” She beamed and kissed his lips.
“Hey, before you go, Helayna. I’m really curious. What attracted you to me?”
Chuckling, Helayna thought for several seconds, blinked, and then smiled broadly.
“You smell so good.”
“Huh?” he marveled with raised eyebrows and his mouth slightly ajar.
“In fact, you smell better than any boy I’ve ever known.”
As he blinked incredulously, she laughed, kissed his cheek, and got out of the car.
“Wow. That’s my biggest appeal to you?” he asked with a confused expression.
Dropping her head to keep from laughing, she looked up at him with a wide grin.
“Yep. It’s your finest quality, Mr. Hampton,” she pronounced before blowing him a kiss and prancing up the front porch steps cackling.
As he cranked the car again and began to drive away, Hampton’s smile slowly evolved into a chuckle and his mind eagerly rewound the entire evening.
Seeing the light in the den still on, Helayna walked there to find her father in the same seat reading a book.
“Look who’s back by one,” she remarked with a satisfied smile, outstretched arms, and a triumphant curtsy.
“Well done, young lady, and kudos to Mr. Hampton. His status as a good boy officially remains intact.”
“So what would you have done if we were late?”
“Well, we’ll just have to keep y’all in suspense about that to keep you in line.”
“I didn’t see Dwight’s car in the driveway. But you gonna’ say anything to him? Nooooo. So much for equality in this house, huh?”
“When you have young’uns, you and your husband can have whatever rules y’all want.”
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“Y’all see any cute little green fellows plop down from the heavens, did you?”
“Ooh, not one, but two UFOs flew right over us. The two brightest lights I’ve ever seen.”
“How ’bout that? Well, I’m just right glad they didn’t take you with ’em ’cause I’m sure you’re a far sight prettier than any of them alien gals.”
She kissed him. “Thank you for letting me go, Daddy. I did have a wonderful time and I really do appreciate it.”
“Well, I didn’t want you missing out on a real big time with your friends, and I sure didn’t cotton to get a whole world of grief from you – and your momma – for not letting you go. I know how exciting things like UFOs are to young folks.”
“Thanks, Daddy. But, you know, I can think of a few things even more exciting than chasing UFOs.”