by Otilia Cazimir
translated by Ștefan Bolea
You have deceitful, black and evil eyes
Dead water wells which hide
Black eyeballs flickering in the back
Enticing me toward the depths like your eyes.
When I want to flee, you lock me with one word
Just like the trees struggling during the storm
They prepare their branches to escape
Still their roots bind them to the ground.
From today onwards I shall love him no more…
But when I see his pagan gaze
And childish smile,
I swear I shall love him no more – from tomorrow.
Each day that passes I am more like you
Such as the spring that pours out to the moor
Wraps up in silt
And instead of cleaning its green waters,
The spring gets muddy.
You probe me like a bird of prey,
You scan me with cold and evil eyes,
Forgetting that if there are traces in the snow,
The dirty footsteps are your own.
My face is frozen like a mask
The fire from the eyes is almost dead
Even the diamond in order to shine
Needs to be reflected in some ray.
Your love doesn’t grow, doesn’t die out
It’s always cold and even
Like an artificial flower
On a meadow of poppies burning in the sun.
When I shall leave, you will easily forget me
I know it can’t be otherwise
Just for an instant the roaming wave
Keeps in it the mirrored face.
Despite your smiles I really wanted
From barren eyes a tear to milk
So I’ve sworn to leave without returning
But from the dawn I look for you.
What kind of devil has put you on my path?
If life wanted to unbind me today
And her heaven now to offer
I still would choose our sweetest hell.
Today he came with warm, kind eyes
And I didn’t ask him where he’s coming from
You don’t ask the flower from the edge
Of the road if she blooms for you.
I always see you like in the final moment
Frozen at the top of the staircase
A smile lost in the corner of the mouth
And the cruel blade of carelessness in your face.
You’re mean. But when I hear another stating it
I look down, clench my fist, and keep silent.
I feel that only I in this whole world
Have the right to blame and comfort you.
I will leave with a peaceful mind
For I do not bequeath to no one
A soul leaden with love and hatred
Distrustful, sad and cold.
I have resigned; that’s all it’s meant to be.
I look at the sun setting down, and I wait
For unanswered replies
At unasked questions.
* Traducerea a fost realizată în cadrul Programului Atelierele FILIT pentru traducători, 2023, Memorialului Ipoteşti – Centrul Naţional de Studii Mihai Eminescu. / Translation realized within the framework of the FILIT Workshops for Translators Programme, 2023, Ipotești Memorial – Mihai Eminescu National Centre for Studies.